Why do I write?
Write about what makes me cry?
Write about how I constantly lie?
Write about, how on the inside,
I die sometimes?
Is it for empathy?
For someone to cry for me?
Is it to vent?
Into words that kinda fit?
Is it to let go?
Maybe to make the growth
Of these feelings slow?
Who knows?
I just write
About what makes me cry
And how I constantly lie
And how, on the inside,
I die sometimes.
I just go with the flow
And hope I can grow
Or at least make these feelings slow.

An itch
That won’t quit
Is bottled up
In this thing
That isn’t clean
Everyone sees a wonderful soul
But they don’t know
How she feels so low
And how it is so cold

To get rid of the pain
To be able to tame
Only for awhile
Just to feel a smile
And escape this isle
Only for a moment
Would be wild

All it is is one cut
It would be but
The itch
Wouldn’t then quit
I know
It would only grow
And I still would be as low
And as cold

So I’ll ignore the itch
Even though it won’t quit

This poem is no good
These thoughts that loom

I try to turn this frown
But I can’t help feeling down

I fake a smile
When I need to cry

With these demons
I feel like a heathen

I want to drown
Cause I’m feeling down

And this poem is no good

What can I say?
Can’t control myself today.
Or any other day,
That is
What can I say?
I have no control
Within my bones
That are filled with holes
What can I say?
I tremble at everything
I can’t even bring
Myself to smile
What can I say?

What am I to do?

Tear up my clothes
Thread by thread

Pull my hair out
Until my scalp bleeds

Chew everything I own
Until I have nothing left

What am I going to do?

A new year has begun
This one has been so long
A whole new start
You can make things better
Be happier
Do something with your life
You can make it great
But you don’t
You do another repeat
Of frowns
And downs
And lying
While you’re crying
You do this every year
Everyday
You say things are going to be great
That problems will magically disappear
But as they say
“Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.”
If that is true
The I am a loon

Here’s to a not-so-movie life
Where everything seems to take a bite
Here’s to a not-so-movie life
Where there seems to be no light
Oh, here’s to a not-so-movie life
Where, sometimes, you want to die
Just to get away from this life

Can someone say
Just spell it out
What these thoughts are
What these dreams are
What game do I play
What does it all mean

Am I going insane
Or like the others
How they are so plain

I don’t want anymore of this
These confusing riddles
And rhymes
That no one understands

Just say it
No matter how bland
All I want
Is an answer
Something I can understand

The thing is
No one can’t
No matter how hard they try

The night sky looms above
Showing the night sky of
A city
Pollution takes
Away the stars
That makes
It seems so dark
Years ago
Where I used to call home
The stars covered
The night sky
They loomed above
With pretty light
But now
Pollution takes
Away the stars
That makes
It seem so dark

They say
That Icarus flew too high
That he fell from the sky
But don’t they know
What would’ve happened
If he flew too low?
His wings would rust
Next to the ocean below
That is cause
If you fly too low
You may break your soul

You look into my eyes
And see how I have died

You ask if I’m okay
I quickly throw on a face
In an attempt to look great

And say ‘I’m fine’
‘Just got something on my mind ‘

You walk away
Not realizing
How badly I’m lying

Oh. How easy it would be?
To let the world be
Just let it go on without me

Knives in the kitchen
Pills in the cabinet

Oh; How easy it would be?
To just let go
Of all I know
Let the blood flow
As my life goes

No more
No more pain
No more fear
No more anything

Travel downstairs
Thinking how easy it would be
Pass by a door
A closed door
But it is more
Than a door
It hides a young innocent soul
How sad it would be
For her to see me go
She wouldn’t know
Why I wanted to go

I look across from this door
Just to see another door
Again, it is more
Than a door
It holds two wise souls
They’ve seen me grow
Oh. How they don’t know
What has grown inside me
How it makes me want to bleed
They might never know

I look at the stairs
I realize something
I realize others will care
They will cry
Cause I couldn’t even try
To stay alive
You can’t get rid of pain
You just pass it on
And it multiplies

I turn around
Without making a sound
Head straight to bed
Ashamed of the dark
That I had fed
But I still think
‘Oh, how easy would it be?’

To find the strength
To get out of bed
Is lucky.

To put on that smile,
That mask of yours,
Is lucky.

To try
Not to cry
Is lucky.

To act like
Everything’s fine
Is lucky.

Lucky
To be alive
And live a life.

Get up.
Get dressed.
Go to school.
Come home.
Go to Sleep.
Repeat.
Easy as pie!

A schedule right in front of you!
Easy to do!
Follow the steps and you’ll be fine!
Easy as pie!

But you are human.
You think,
And feelings overtake.
Easy as pie?

I don’t think.

Hide in a closet
You assume
All is good
But never assume

For I hide
For a reason
For I’m here
Because of treason

I cry
But why
Is it because I wore a smile
Or because you played along for awhile

The reason
I hide
Is cause of treason
But who betrayed who

The liar
The actor

Or you
The one
Who played along
When the situation became dire

I regret what I did
And what I see
In my mind
That’s a dark sea
I regret a lot
Sometimes every moment
Can someone stop me
From regretting things