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EtherealOmega Nov 2015
The darkness swirls in a vengeful throw,
Tossing and turning through tides of snow.
Though it be white and pure
This poison has no cure.

Heart aching in pain and sorrow,
It is felt as if there is no tomorrow.
As soon as the sun has fallen,
It will soon be all forgotten.

- 50RR0W
This isn't my work. It's my date mate's. He doesn't write poetry often anymore, but he wrote this one for me today because I wanted to see what he used to write. So... Well here it is for all of you to enjoy!
EtherealOmega Dec 2015
Time for loneliness to settle in,
Hope to the gods I never give in.
The pain spreads like flowers,
Hoping that this wont be my final hour.

As I sit here lost in my thoughts,
I know that it was not all for naught.
I'm stuck here only to watch so far away,
through this painful window miles away.

I clutch at this pendent of mine,
To remind myself of the better times.
A smile always seems to cross my face,
Setting my mood with a new pace.

I hold onto these things,
These things called dreams.
In hope for a better time to be.

- 50RR0W
Once again a poem of my date mate's. When I finally checked back on my G+ I found this on my dash.
Anyways this is a goodbye for now since I'm not gonna be online until some things in my life clear up.
Best of luck to all of you in this game that we call life!
EtherealOmega Nov 2017
I've tailored so many suits,
Switching out mismatched buttons for shining brass,
And restoring fabric worn thin over years of well-loved use.

But I cannot tailor this traitorous skin to fit me right.
In some placed it's too lose,
In others too tight…
I cannot switch out the pieces of me I'd rather live without
For new pieces shining with pride.
There is no way to restore a body to what it should have been,
Or even to the simple majesty of what it once was.

Young and ignorant of its uneven seams.

I've hemmed ladies' skirts to the perfect lengths
So they no longer need to worry about tripping over the excess.
Hemmed them to show just the right amount of ankle
Or perhaps none at all..

But I cannot hem myself..

This excess emotion staining my voice denoted me as "she."
And I trip over my own voice that no longer fits in my mouth..
While gorgeous girls in gowns show off thin strips of themselves,
I am left trying to hide every piece of my skin.

This is why I have risked sunstroke in the dead of summer
Wearing a hoodie and jeans to keep me safe.
This is why swimming pools are often synonymous with nightmare.

I no longer know how to wear this body with pride.

So when they ask me when I knew I wasn't a girl…
I have to restrain my urge to laugh and cry all at once.
Because when do we know that something is not as perfect as we once thought..
Only once it has been shown to us and we've been told to fix it.

I wish I could go back to being ignorant of my uneven seams.
These uneven seams that I cannot rip out unless I want to bleed out.
These uneven seams that I will never be able to fix to perfection.

But maybe…
Slowly,
Ever so slowly,
We might be able to stretch the seams of this world.
So that no child has to learn to hate or fear
Their jagged edges
Their unhemmable spaces…






But I cannot be one of those children..
So I will use chemicals to hem my voice..
Readjust my buttons…
Stretch my seams…
I will find a seamster more experienced then I
To rip out these traitorous strings
And rearrange the fabric to a more seemly drape.

I will use new fabric to cover up the patterns I am no longer proud of…
The patterns that cloud my days…
I will mend my ways
Learning to live in a patchwork maze
Until my spirit can return to where it truly belongs
In a beautiful blaze.
- EPL 11/6/2017
EtherealOmega Apr 2017
Now that you are asleep dear I can think clearly about us.

The two people that we were, we are, and that we are becoming;
And while sometimes it terrifies me right now it merely brings a small smile to my face.

Because we are still here. Together. After nearly a two years and a half. The longest I have stayed by someone's side like this.

Bridging the gap between friends and lovers, and I think I could stay like this for years to come if only the stars will smile upon us.

But just like the stars I will wander, and because of that I worry when you call me your world. I have never wanted to be someone's world - especially not after seeing what can happen to someone who builds their universe around another whom they might eventually come to lose.
I do not want to be your galaxy, or your world, or your everything because…

Darling, my darling, my dear..

Your world is not a single people or even three.. Your world is everything you make it to be. It is everything you have ever done. Everything you will do. It is every song you sing. Every game you play. Every word you speak. And every life you touch and change.

I am just a small - though I'd like to believe important - piece to that vast and still growing space.

And, dear one. Though I know you would stand against this, I know that in the end I am just as replaceable as everyone on this Earth within your life. And though you may not understand that makes what we have all the sweeter for me. Because I don't long for forever anymore. Just for now and however long now can last.. If it's the rest of our lives then I'll rejoice, but if not I'm glad to have l retaught you what it means like to fall fast. To fall fast into love.

I hope I never have to teach you what it means to fall out of love like a thunderstorm beating it's refrain against our hearts.. but if I ever do just remember that just as I filled parts of a void left in your life by another special someone, another sweet human will come along to remind you what it means to smile again.

But they will not pick up your shards because my darling you are not glass. You are a will and soul of iron. You may be dented and bent sometimes, but you will never be broken. That next person will warm your soul.. They will fill up a place which you thought was lost to someone of the past. Perhaps me. Perhaps another. Regardless they will fill it just as you will fill something in them, and the warmth will let you change again. In the end they will welcome you into the forge of their hearts and you will either come out dented again yet stronger for it or stronger still than that with a bit more of your old shape now sharpened into a steel of comfort. Either way you will grow..

Just keep growing. With me by your side. Lets grown together for now because we still have so much farther to go. Do not think of yourself as old. You are merely aging. No time has been wasted because we are all aging; and sometimes a 10 year old can be older than a 50 year old. Age is a number it is the experiences we have lived which give us our growth, and right now we are still in a stage where we can be so very naive like babes yet in the swaddling cloth. How else would we have thought about forever in regards to two souls.

Despite this though. I wish to stand by you till the end of whatever we are. Until we can no longer shield, and guide, and care for one another. You have helped teach me to go from a place where I thought my body was all I could give as a token of care for another person to a place where I know my worth is more than what is written in my flesh.

So, my wolf... My Irish Lycanthrope.. Do not call me or make me your moon or your world.. Just allow me to be another treasured piece of the life you are building knowing that though you can live on without me.. You don't want to for now.

Just let me stand by your side, and that will be enough for however long the fates have appointed to us.
I really don't know what this is, but awhile ago.. it just flowed out and became beautiful. So I thought it was finally time to post it.

Here's to words spilled upon canvassed that may never be read by who they were written for, and for the lies we sometimes tell ourselves.
Welcome to my mind's late nights, Everyone.
- EPL (EtherealOmega)
EtherealOmega Nov 2015
Fading*...
Defined as the action of disappearing or dying gradually.
Usually used in context of a light,
But for some fading has become a way of life.

You keep your appearance neat.
Keeping that smile on your face can be a feat,
but that is not for them to know.
Don’t let the pain inside you show.
Just bottle it up and shine bright,
As you slowly allow your soul to fade from sight.

They tell you things get better..
Well that’s only true if this pain you could find a way to fetter,
But somehow it always finds a way to run free
And bring you weeping to your knees.

In the dark of your room the voices rage through your head
Making your heart feel as if it were made of lead.
The only relief you have managed to find
Was by the tip of a knife designed.
As the crimson makes designs upon your skin,
Peace creeps upon you as payment for your sin..
You broke your promise to stay clean,
But perhaps they would forgive you if they could see this scene..

Your eyelids droop heavy
As sleep begins to pull on your soul now empty.
The voices have ceased,
And you can sleep in peace for tonight at least.
Only the morning light will tell just how close to shattering you come again.
Maybe next time, if it’s not this bad, you can turn instead to a pen..
EtherealOmega Feb 2016
Day after day
I find myself wasting away.
I never wanted to be back here..
Here. Living in constant fear
Of the blade that draws blood
And the steaming water that sears.

I promised to leave them behind,
But sometimes it just seems the more kind.
Because at least that way I stay silent
At least this way I don't become violent
And hurt those I love..
It's time to begin praying again for the stars to fall into alignment.

It's time to start praying to a god that doesn't exist
That I will stop finding a blade pressed to my wrist.
I miss the days where everything wasn't wrong.
I miss the days where I was actually strong.
Those days were a salve to all the open wounds
But now those days are once again gone and all I can do is lose myself in a song...

So please if you're somewhere that is full of light.
Never let that place go even if you have to fight.
I lost sight of my haven a long time ago..
And found myself lost in this dark place of woe.
And every day I keep fighting not to sink into that dim place,
But more times then not I find myself just wanting to let go.
EtherealOmega Nov 2015
A healer with broken wings
Stands staring down at his hands
They are covered in crimson blood
As clear tears run down his cheeks like a flood

The memories..
They are all coming back to him now
Terrible things which he wishes he had never done
Things he wishes he could go back and change somehow

He lost his gift trying to free her
His love to him the greatest spurr
Yet still it was not him that broke the chains
Yet still it was not him that took away her pains

He lost his wings when he was cast from the order
His gift used up and his mind now in complete disorder
The ones above him saw him more as a threat
That it would be better to just cast out and forget

He lost any last shred of humanity when that creature came
When it tried to make him and it one and the same
For that life it took from him his sight
But ever more it had cast upon him a terrible blight

Now he is losing his sanity
As he stands in the rain contemplating life’s profanity
Everything is swirling around him in a cloud of dark abyss
Everything within him has gone terribly amiss
The simpleness is gone
And so is the light

  Now his mind is falling into…..                                                   
                               
   o                         
                                    
     h  A          s                                                       
                                   C     ­                                                                 ­                                                                                                              ­                      
                                                                ­                                                              
                                                                 ­                                                     .
EtherealOmega Dec 2015
I can still remember
The way things were so sweet and simple
Just two kids happy to be friends and share every moment

I can still remember
Us sharing our first kiss on my bed
Just the simplest kiss of two curious kids

I can still remember
The kisses the came after more and more frequent
And how every time my lips met hers they tingled

I can still remember
Falling for my best friend slowly
Her laugh and smile all I could ever want

I can still remember
All the nights spent in the basement
Curled close under covers stealing secret kisses as a movie played

...I can still remember…
When it all started to change
How the sweet and simple faded replaced with something worse

...I can still remember…
The needy kisses the parted my lips
And how her own felt like fire upon my skin

...I can still remember…
How my best friend slowly became my mistress
How my first love slowly became a sin

...I can still remember…
All the nights spent in the basement
That I came out of with rope burns on my wrists and a fear of restraint

...I can still remember…
Her fangs sinking into the skin at my shoulder
That place still stings and burns sometimes at night

...I can still remember…
Her time and time again leaving for a real boy
Only to come back crying saying I was the only one for her

...I can still remember…
The way my heart shredded itself with every parting
But still found a way to offer itself with every return

...I can still remember…
The first time I didn’t answer her call
The way my heart hurt because it wanted to hear her

...I can still remember…
Both the bad moments and the good with equal fervor
And so I still keep her picture on my wall as a reminder

Sometimes I still think about calling her again
Just to see how she’s doing
...But again I can still remember….
How my heart took her back time and time again no matter how broken
And how I used to convince myself I felt nothing at all

And now I know I can’t risk it
No matter how much I miss every single thing about her
Even the bad nights spend in the basement
...Because I can still remember...
How I would find myself tied back into the cycle
The cycle that almost took my life
I can still remember
And when the memories come knocking
I just need another escape
EtherealOmega Nov 2015
A trickster’s grin
And a flash of smoke.
A quiet snicker
Meant to at your feelings poke.

This broker knows just how you’ll act
That is just a honest fact.
He watches you from behind cold glass,
And you won’t notice him when you pass.

His only rival has hair of gold
And is a fiery flame to the broker’s cold.
No one knows their true relation
But it could lead to his damnation
Should he give in a bit too much to temptation.

For now he’ll wait
And the lives of others begin to taint.
He loves humanity after all
And wants to see all the ways that they could fall.
This is what happens when I start re-watching Durarara for the hell of it.
Welp.. Here ya go!
EtherealOmega Nov 2015
Dear Life,
I know you will never be easy, and I know that perfection is far from your nature, and most of all I know my path with you will be anything but easy, but I know you will be worth it in the end. My Lady, I will walk beside you learning from the paths you choose until the moment my legs give out and you must leave me behind. For you stop for no man. Yet.. I honestly feel sorry for you. You are forced to leave so many good friends behind, but maybe we will meet again.

Dear Death,
You are inevitable yet many run from you. I’m sure you often feel all alone, but, my Lord, need I remind you some run to you with arms wide open saying, “Please.. Take me away from this place.” Does taking an innocent soul from this world before it’s time, no matter how broken, feel any better than solitude..? I won’t run from you, but I also won’t run to you any longer. When our time comes to meet, I will greet you as a good friend, as a lover, as someone I haven’t seen in ages and have been waiting for. I know this meeting will come, but maybe we have met before.

Dear Love,
You span both your siblings: both Life and Death. And you sometimes tie two people together so tightly with your little red cord that even one lifetime, two lifetimes, ten lifetimes later they can still look at one another, being strangers in that moment, and feel a strange tug of comforting familiarity. Yes. Sometimes no matter how loud you shout that they are meant to be they will be deaf to you passing like ships in the night never again to see the one they once called by your name. I’m not sure if we have met before, if I’ve passed by you not recognizing your beautiful eyes, or if our meeting is yet or never to come. But, my Liege, I pray it comes or comes again.

Dear Somebody,
I’ve begun to learn my lessons. I intend to enjoy Life’s company to the fullest, and will wait to commune with Death; I will embrace Love when they come to me without judgement merely opening my arms welcoming Love as if they were always a part of me. As if you.. Whoever you are… Were always a part of me. I’ll say, “Thank you for finding me. You are special beyond belief, and I hope that spark you hold never fades. So please take a seat. Let your wandering feet rest and make yourself at home in my life.” If Love must take their leave, and we become a mere pair in space I’ll remind you one last time that you are and always will be cared for. So please, Dear One, I beg of you don’t do anything rash. Don’t run to Death or from his twin sister Life, but most of all if love doesn’t stay with us. Find someone who Love will stay with, forever. Because that will make both Life and Death seem meaningless. That will make days fade into years, and that, Beautiful One, is what makes our existence worthwhile.
This was made more as a Slam style poem, and as such it is meant to be heard rather then read. However, I thought I would post it anyway since
EtherealOmega Apr 2016
If you asked me the one thing I couldn't live without
I wouldn't be able to answer immediately because I'd be too wrapped up
          in the images my mind conjures.
The song that would play through my mind would shut my eyes
Because it brings back the memories of when I asked him to be mine..
          even though it could be his demise.

I would be able to see vividly that smile that is contagious even when I've
          been crying.
I would be able to hear that sound of rolling thunder in his laugh..
I would be able to feel his body against mine as well laid in the summer
          night beneath the stars,
And I might just begin to cry as I remember him kissing each of my scars.

That safe feeling he brings to me is addicting
In this world where I've learned that almost no one can be trusted,
And I find that I just want to lose myself in those stormy eyes
The eyes which show all his pain and his love and make it impossible for
           him to lie.

But if you ask me again about the one thing I couldn't live without I
           would smile,
And I would not say his name.
Instead I would say "My journal" still smiling all the while
Because it is the one thing that can not abandon me
And the one thing that can't give me away to you or let you see.

So please.. Don't ask me what I can't live without because I can not choose
Between the sacred truth and the safety of lies
Because I fear losing trust
But I've also been taught that that hiding the dangerous truth is a must.

So I will lie through my teeth
Saying that love can't touch me and there's no one that can make me
            smile.
I will say that the thing I trust and could ever want is the pages of a
            journal,
And I will turn away to make sure you can't see the struggle internal.

So when I am exiled to solitude it will not be him they let me take with
             me,
Because I can't bring myself to separate him from those he loves and those
              who need him
And even more so because for the longest time the lines pages of a book
              were my perfect escape
From the world made my heart in need of binding tape,
And when it is between his life and mine I will gladly run back to my  
               old and only escape.
A poem I'm considering using for a scholarship opportunity since the prompt for it was the one thing that we couldn't live without.
EtherealOmega Nov 2015
She is that quiet girl you glaze over in class.
The one most barely notice when they pass.
She is the girl who hides a pain in her heart
And only lets it out through her art.

She is the future psychology major
Who’s always willing to help you with a favor.
The one who couldn’t give up hope if you begged her
Because it’s one of the few things that makes her heart stir.

I wish I could say she is the only love of my life
Because she deserves a whole heart…
Not someone who can merely give her a part
And lead her repeatedly into strife…

But for some reason she stays
She stays to be my hope when I have lost my belief
And holds me when my heart is full of grief.
She is starting to make me remember the simple things,
And is beginning to become the one that with her light brings.

I may not be able to give her my whole heart,
But I will stand by her side until she wishes to part.
Because even if this love doesn’t last,
I can’t imagine her ever being a piece of my past.

I love you, Ally
Just keep your chin high,
And one day I promise you’ll learn how to fly.
<3~
EtherealOmega Nov 2015
An angel of Death with agonized eyes
Sits alone in the dark as she cries.
She doesn’t want others to see her in pain
So in the silence of night she causes it to rain.

What she isn’t aware of is that one other knows
Whenever to a quiet place in tears she goes.
He can feel it in his heart like a searing knife
Whenever her own is filled with painful strife.

Maybe one day he’ll sneak up and surprise her with a rose
Instead of in the shadows of silence staying froze..
He knows it would make her all smiles,
And for that he would walk a million miles
And go through the universe’s hardest trials.

But for now he will pretend that he doesn’t see,
And through the small little things try and from sadness set her free.
Because even though his wings are broken, and he will never fly again
This faded healer with darkness swirling in his soul
Will for her happiness pay any toll.

Forever his love for her will shine
Even after he has passed forever into the shadows’s silent shrine.
EtherealOmega Nov 2015
The ocean just before a storm..
These are the eyes of the one who keeps me warm.
The roll of thunder up above..
This is the voice of him who shows me love.
So many times my words I weave,
Yet somehow still he just can’t believe
That the best choice of my life I made last New Year’s Eve.

I know that things will never be smooth,
But his inner demons I will always try to soothe
Because my own lie quiet when comes near.
For with him I have no fear.
He makes me feel safe
For once in my life
As if no more can I be touched by strife.

So the storms that may come
Will never more make my heart a drum.
With him by my side all will be well
That I can already confidently tell.
For despite his fears
I’ll never bring him to tears.
With him I will pass the years
And this love in my heart will never disappear.
Yeah, yeah. Cheesy BS. I know, but sometimes I just get the urge to write things about my partners.
EtherealOmega May 2016
We've been taught to hide behind prose
So that no matter what the words say nobody truly knows
What's going through our heads
Ever hour until we finally turn in to our beds.

So for me it all started as a game of hide and seek
Seen as childish by older men
Who couldn't see past the flowery words
To the core of the issues I wanted to scream
But instead played off as a simple dream.

Somehow the simple game turned nightmare, and
These words became my walls.
The cold walls of a prison I had build for myself
Splattered with the bright colors of better times;
Times I didn't see crying out for help as one of my biggest crimes.

Days passed on, and I thought my personal winter was coming.
Yet time seemed to stop when his calloused hands touched the walls.
They were neither harsh nor gentle..
Many of those before him treated these walls as a rental,
But he came to scrape the color away and remind me of where I was.

His lips spilled the secret of how some could see.
They could see past the beauty to my heartfelt, tender plea.
These were the ones my words could speak to beyond a shadow of a doubt
And these lines could be their inner heart's water in a life long drought.

This journey of poetry has had as many paths for me as the stars
And each have coincided with my own private scars.
Words have become my olive branch,
My sword,
My soul's ward against demons that can't be ignored.
A life without prose is not what I chose,
And so forever shall I walk on the path of the wild rose.
A scholarship poem from the prompt of "You, Me, and Poetry" in other words what draws me personally to writing poetry as it was further explained.
I'm not so sure this'll no too much in the way of getting me the scholarship, but I'm always looking for prompts regardless.
EtherealOmega Feb 2016
Today is better than last night for now the delicate cords held within my throat do not refuse air its  passage through them for anything more than the oxygen it carries even though all I was wanting to do was scream.

Today is better than last night for now my sight is clear - free of the tears which could not fall due to the dam I built too high and too well who's retribution was to refract my guiding lights into nonsensical shapes which could offer no comfort.
                                                        ­  
Today is better than last night for now the sharp daggers of keratin are not biting at my skin frantically trying to purify me of this rotting flesh which coats my bones,  and my mind is past   not being able to wrap its tendrils about the idea of people possibly loving this wretched creature I have become... Or perhaps it did wrap around that fragile concept but instead of absorbing it those vines of the rose garden of my mind stayed true to form and grew thorns to pierce and tear at the idea like my nails once did to this alabaster canvas while holding as tightly as doubt sometimes holds my lungs keeping me from breathing,  but this concept is more breakable then my lungs... And so it was crushed into stardust.  The same stardust that comprises or bodies because every element of our bodies is created within our guiding lights we wish upon. And I see that sparkle of stardust every day in each of your eyes. I see it in everyone's eyes.. except my own... And  it makes me wonder if maybe dad was right and some people are just made of a different type of dust.  A dust comprised from the ashes of hell itself which will forever smolder but never more catch aflame... The ashes filed with the agonies of those souls which lost themselves in the madness and feel into the eternal night.
Meant to be more of a spoken word poem versus a written poem, but I thought I'd put it on here anyways. I'd appreciate any input y'all might have some I'm not really sure if it's finished yet or not.
EtherealOmega Apr 2017
We are not shattered glass for you to attempt to piece back together only to cut yourself using that shed blood as an excuse for us owing you.. We are not shattered glass. We are iron.. Dented by the toils of this world, and the fires of your abuse are tempering us into steel..

... We will steal ourselves away from you time and time again until our hearts learn to understand the difference between love and abuse. Until our hearts learn the meaning of the word "No."... And until yours. do. too.

                            - EPL (EtherealOmega)
It's just a small piece that I thought of. It would make a good end for a longer SW piece.
EtherealOmega Nov 2015
Dark swirling, shifting, speaking..
This was the place a boy found his solace,
Yet it's also the place he may find his doom.

The voices cry out all the painful truths
Which he struggles not to accept.
The only time he had ever managed to keep these voices at bay
Were the moments he finally slept.

Those days he tells himself are long past.
The love he holds for his precious three he swears he'll make last.
He helped seal up that archway what seems so long ago,
But still it beckons not that key to throw.
It promises him solace.
It promises him power.
It promises him peace
And never more to cower.

Only one thing it asks.
Just fade back, Little One.
You are lesser,
Weaker,
More naive,
And unable to know
What great things in this world you could sew.
If only you would stop fighting the destruction
Which is already filling your soul.

It's just those three he keeps holding on for,
But even so he knows that will soon fade out to not
Just as all the promises of his past he has forgot.
Even though these three hold all he's ever sought.
EtherealOmega Nov 2015
If you sometimes see doubt in my eyes when you tell me you’re here…
I’m sorry because it’s true that all I want is to have you near,
But a voice in the back of my mind replies to your words quiet but strong
With the words, “Yes.. But for how long..?”

Because although you don’t know it yet..
There will be no country home with a huge library for me to store my many loved volumes Where you can find me any time of the day.
Just to lay with me as I let the beautiful words roll of my ******* flood…
Because they always just seem to pulse through my very blood..
There will be no glen just inside the forest that - even if we have to clear it ourselves -
Will be the perfect place to train when the sky is clear and the winds warm..
There will be no training room with polished wood floors and walls of glass for us to train
Even if we would rather just go walking in the rain
Because we are both spirits of water..
Yes we both have fire within us also, but water is what we crave.
It is the flash of lighting, the roll of thunder, the sound of water falling from the sky
That brings up peace that will save.…

And it’s not that I don’t want these things..
Gods I want them with my whole heart,
But I have made choices which render those dreams null and void..
And may even force you to from me part..
Because although these choices mean never living with you..
Never sleeping beside you..
Never feeling your warmth by me every moment of every day..
Perhaps even make you stray..
I will never regret them..
Unless they cause me to lose you..
And that is what I worry about the most.

That is why my mind races.
Why the darkness in my soul swirls
My feet unable to stop their paces..
This instability is what truly my emotion kills.
And I can’t seem to remember which what is up and which is down
I honestly feel as if I’m going to drown…
Because I don’t want to lose you..
But because of all these things that I know and you don’t..
When you whisper to me that you are here…
Although all I will ever want is to have you near,
A voice in the back of my mind replies to your words quiet but strong..
With the words, “Yes.. But for how long..?”
I'm honestly still skeptical if I should even be posting this.
I'm not exactly confident in this one both because of the lack of flow and the fact it's so personal..
This was just another poem to get everything I didn't want in my head out.

— The End —