I can still remember
The way things were so sweet and simple
Just two kids happy to be friends and share every moment

I can still remember
Us sharing our first kiss on my bed
Just the simplest kiss of two curious kids

I can still remember
The kisses the came after more and more frequent
And how every time my lips met hers they tingled

I can still remember
Falling for my best friend slowly
Her laugh and smile all I could ever want

I can still remember
All the nights spent in the basement
Curled close under covers stealing secret kisses as a movie played

...I can still remember…
When it all started to change
How the sweet and simple faded replaced with something worse

...I can still remember…
The needy kisses the parted my lips
And how her own felt like fire upon my skin

...I can still remember…
How my best friend slowly became my mistress
How my first love slowly became a sin

...I can still remember…
All the nights spent in the basement
That I came out of with rope burns on my wrists and a fear of restraint

...I can still remember…
Her fangs sinking into the skin at my shoulder
That place still stings and burns sometimes at night

...I can still remember…
Her time and time again leaving for a real boy
Only to come back crying saying I was the only one for her

...I can still remember…
The way my heart shredded itself with every parting
But still found a way to offer itself with every return

...I can still remember…
The first time I didn’t answer her call
The way my heart hurt because it wanted to hear her

...I can still remember…
Both the bad moments and the good with equal fervor
And so I still keep her picture on my wall as a reminder

Sometimes I still think about calling her again
Just to see how she’s doing
...But again I can still remember….
How my heart took her back time and time again no matter how broken
And how I used to convince myself I felt nothing at all

And now I know I can’t risk it
No matter how much I miss every single thing about her
Even the bad nights spend in the basement
...Because I can still remember...
How I would find myself tied back into the cycle
The cycle that almost took my life