In a forest without trees
Where only a buzz is heard, not seen
She laid on black ground
Her belly up and her face down
She stared at the missing stars
Empty spaces of used up light, now just scars

Bathing in a sea of mud
She lifted her hands and saw blood
LIFE she thought, so from the ****** muddy pulp
A melting body she tried to sculpt
To bring to life from the wet dirt
A being to love her, although formed in a chaotic birth
To fill the voids with light and sense
Instead, a being stood, made of nonsense
Upsidebackwords and a grievous grin
For which she hugged dispute the sin

Pretending that light magically appeared
Knowing it was only her sanity that disappeared
Upsidebackwords and a spinning head
She would be okay here, amongst the dead
Living in an empty chaos was better than not
So she gave up what she had originally sought

Spent her life in the upsidebackwords, and forgot
That she created this being to aid her escape, but it was all for not.

Generational gaps of knowledge and experience
Bringing to you some kind of appearance
Like the technology at our fingertips
Or the way an old clock ticks
Differences in us by decades of age
Though, similar in so many ways
Like the way we love
Or want be loved
Like the need to dance
Or taking a chance
Generational differences
But human nonetheless

Excerpt from ‘The Wind on the Downs’
"That you are round about me, I believe;
And knowing you are happy; should I grieve?
And when I leave the meadow, almost wait,"
(Continued by Dani Massey)
For you to show up where I have placed the bait.
Love is keeping me here as long as the day,
Coming back until I have your say.
This is something I need to know,
Did you want to stay or want to go?
Give me all my prayers to read again,
So I can fix them in permanent pen.
Let me know so I can think of your face,
And not cry, but remember your grace.
Show me you can feel no more pain,
Show me that I am truly sane,
And that I am right about that place,
Because I know you can see His face.
The perfect peace you surely can feel,
I know that is part of the deal.
It will be a while for me, my turn I have to wait,
For the privilege to see the perfectly pearly gate.
When my name is called I know I am ready to go,
But your choice, I need to know!

It is made of the finest bark
Standing between two trees
It is open and closed only in the dark
Enveloped in ivy, locked without keys

Vanishes behind rays of the sun
Following the moon so bright
Away it goes when it hears you come
Held within are secrets that make us light

Locked by your chaos heart
With just a key of silence
Opened only in the darkest part
Warriors of life protect with demilance

A door stands in the forest of life's psalm
A door dedicated to shining bright
Only seen when a heart is calm
Hidden because this door cannot stand a fight

Between two trees it stands, insides expanding
To you there is much unknown
But, the ones inside are filled with understanding
In the world behind it, goodness is shown

This may seem absurd, but just highly misunderstood
Maybe, because you have never seen
What lies behind the sturdy wood
But it's truth, I witness, is keen

Mist lay before you covering lands
Careful steps now, feel around with hands
Nothing seen but what's at your feet
Go slow and steady, for mist carries deceit
Don’t be fooled
let your curiosity be cooled
One step at a time do not look ahead
Or underground will be your newfound bed
Don’t try to clear the mist with magic tricks
What lies before you is set in stone not sticks
Cannot be changed or foreseen or broken
Just walk the path at your feet one step for a token
Reward for staring down, focused on where you step
Reward for moving forward, without a tricky attempt
Present is your only state
Mind it carefully for a clean slate

I have all I ever wanted
It is a dream come true
All I ever asked for
A family, a home, a life so full

It is beautiful as I look in
Sunshine beaming and sleek
Like heaven on earth made just for me
Nothing more to seek

Or so I thought

Darkness swept over my eyes
The agitation hit suddenly.
Crawling itching skin, as if I was sick
Infected with a virus no one could see

Happiness where did you go?

I saw sunshine and smiles
Everyone beautiful as God or Goddess
Then suddenly like a swarm of flies
I was taken under pulled down into darkness

It was like being eaten alive
Held under and drowning in death
Pulled on, dragged down, held there
Clawing, gasping for a single breath

I watch it all from outside my tomb

As I watch myself pleading for help
I see dirt falling on my head
I have nothing to give to assist
I have no rope to send

There is nothing left to give

I can only watch from the outside
Numbness fills my soul
With total fear and terror that I cannot feel
A loss of all control

A million hands pull you down
Sinking numbness suffocates like dirt
The darkness burning as you breath it in
Knowing pain without feeling the hurt

Still fighting with health at zero

I watch myself die over and over
Only to find that I am still alive
The swarm bites and claws
Will help ever arrive?

I don’t believe it anymore

Somehow with nothing left to give
I am clawing, gasping to breath
How long can I go.
Guess I'll have to watch and see.

Your heart starts out strong
A break in the chain makes it all wrong
Starts with strength and will
Ends with being helplessly ill
The road block starts with a curious glance
Too soon are you following the dance
Showing the world where you went wrong
I thought you could have been so strong
You have the will and all the power
Take what is yours and build a tower
A wall between you and a curious glance
You can always be what you once were
Strong hearted and always absolutely sure
This battle is tough and only that
A fight to **** off using a loving bat
Show the world what you are worth
You start out strong from birth
Be what you were born to be
A bird that loves back and is free
Follow the correct dance
The one you knew at first glance
Listen to what is true
You know what to do

I lost my soul
Somewhere along the road
I cannot tell you if it was stolen
Or misplaced, I have forgotten

I used to run
I carried with me tons of fun
It resided within my heart
Gone forever, or just broken apart?

I was energetic
And positive with a personality magnetic
Where did it go
I ask myself, but I do not know

I lost myself
Somewhere I’m boxed up on a shelf
Hidden by fear and stress
Emotions in a box, I’m expressionless

I lost my soul
It started many years ago
Slowly and steadily stripped away
Because I gave myself away

Pretend not to be
The mask you acquire
Stand up against currents
Ripping at skin
Filleting fish, STAND
A requisite, no deficit
For this terror we hide
Do not abide
Pretend not to be
What we cannot be

Calm, and solid, never a riot
Heavy like a weight on a string
Muscles slow and mind quiet
All this a little pill can bring
Soft and slow like a winter storm
Freezing over a mind and body
Altering the natural form
Changing for better or worse
That is unknown
Whether it be a blessing or curse
No matter at all ‘cause emotions are alone
Stranded, but free
Heavy weighted body, what a cure
Walking through water, maybe
Sweet, blissful relaxation for sure

Incoherently decreasing my voice ...
                             Spinning?                       Spiraling?

                                       Absolutely falling!!
In love? Or into darkness?
                                                What is this called?

            I AM FLYING!!

Oh, what a sharpness...
                                          To find out you are falling.

Whispers slowly growing
                                               Shadows casting.

A dark world turned black ...
                                               Falling still?
                                                                   No I think I am flying!?
Up above ... I swear it!

I must be lifting higher!
                                          Or am I just ... falling too fast?

I do not know what I cannot understand.

What a terror
                         Oh the despair

Screams envelope the blackness
                                                          Beauty glides along my veins

                                                     Blood
                                   Flowing up from my body

                 Amazing trickles of red dots moving above

                                  How can I stop, catch myself?
Where is love?

A black hole is ******* in light
Gravity is everything and it's folding inward
Crushing, absolutely crumbling
Like a thousand tons on your chest

Emptiness and nothingness consume

Do you feel it, the darkness?
Where everything and nothing exist all at once
Where you can touch fear and see joy
Isn't it beautiful, and terrible all at once

It's the heaviness of gravity and flying
The consumption of death and life
Adrenaline and calmness
It's destruction and reconstruction

Staring at the darkness where nothing and everything live
Feeling both all at once
Every emotion floods your soul
As the pressure of the condensing black numbs every nerve

You're floating away, sinking and flying
Deeper into the hole of emotional despair
Higher into the dark empty peace
Are we dying or is this living?

Scream, scream! ... Louder!
Pull me out, someone please pull me out
I have no strength left to fight
I'm terrified, but I'm empty
It's peaceful letting go
But I don't want to

My cries are unheard
I want your attention
My heart yet beats
Only for my own protection

I follow my lead
In myself I trust
Knowing I’m loved?
I still have a lust

I feel left out
I’ve been left standing
My hearts hidden
This ride is landing

Forgetting me
Better things to do
Than remembering
I do so much too

Taking care of all
Myself and everything
Money isn’t love
Nothing isn’t something

As I said I am unheard
I ask again for your attention!
Yes, my heart may beat
But it’s from my own protection

What is it that you see in me
Captivating and engaging
Listening and relatable
Understanding and without prejudgements
Hell, without any judgements
So you lean in
You get close
You relate and confess and dive deep within yourself
Open up and share
Shed your walls and calased emotions
This feeling not like any other
Not many make you feel this way
So infatuation you grow
And intrigue you sow
And in love you fall
For this, you cannot let go
It is vulnerable and raw
It is open and healing
Calming and exciting
Love, you believe
But love, you do not know
For these are not for you
They are of me
Who I am and who I continue to be
It not for you, it is for me
You are not my dear beloved
Just simply my muse
Flirtation? You must be mistaken
This is my Aura, this is my color

Although you love my color
You do not love ME

For you do not know of the dark shades I harbor
Or the corner with my monsters - that I love so
I cannot be yours, yet you are mine
Given so easily and devotely
But I cannot do that same

This is not my name
My title is not for you
It is for me
I am mine, I am not made for you

Hey there Jack, Pat, Jameson, whatever your name is
I'll shoot ya down shot-by-shot, I'll take that hit
All these boys,
I'll shoot ya down like a burning fire
'Cause I need me a Johnny Walker Blue type of man

Something worth swirling slowly
Worth pressing to my lips
Taking slow sips
With the music loud
Dancing around

I don't need me a Jack, Pat, Jameson type of boy anymore
I'll just shoot ya down, shot-by-shot, shoot ya down
I'm here for my Johnny Walker Blue man!

I might get fancy, and even dancy
Off your cheap shot
I'll feel the fire burning
My head swirling
Still, though, something is missing
I'm really just here searching...
For my Johnny Walker Blue man!

It was the longest cigarette she had ever smoked. The most toxic, clouded, cough filled puff of nicotine she ever inhaled. It disappeared eventually, with the wind as she let out the long awaited final drag. The sun touched her skin for the first time in years. The flowers bloomed and the crisp clean mountain air filled her lungs as she walked away. The burnt bud flicked from her hand, stomped on with her foot. A breeze blowing away the cloud of smog, she finally felt clean.

I could scream at you
I could punch you
But no good would it do
For either me or you

Although my anger is still hot
I'm cooling it down with the breath I've caught

I've always been told I couldn't.
I finally realize that I can
Take what I want
Devour my needs
Taste the forbbiden fruits
Ones without labor
Grown from stone
Gleaming brightly and suddenly,
As I took a bite
As my lips met skin
The sweet fruity juices became blood
Red dripped from my mouth
Solitude never felt so cold

You drew me in, in that special way you do
Pulled into your space without resistance
A deer in headlights in total awe of you
Frozen and nervous, between us there is zero distance

Crashed into each other slowly like waves in the ocean
Beautiful and harsh, full of passion
Water to sand, meshing together in slow motion
Fierce with lust, and an undeniable connection

The sweet taste of your lips on mine
Makes butterflies swarm my whole body
Please, I beg cross the line
We don’t mind being a little bit naughty

So to you I raise my glass
Cheers for bringing me intoxication
A toast for every slap of my ***
A smile, for every bit of our infatuation

Oh, but what a wild world it is
You see we breath to live
Yet, we live to die

Slow and steady
Now, are you ready
Take me by the hand
And we can walk the sand
Love all day and night
We fall again by the light
Each day loving more
All the way to our core
I need you so much
For breathing, living, and such
You do it all for me
I believe you are the key
We unlock the Earth
And keep lit the hearth

I found it, I finally found it!
It was hidden deep down,
Covered in layers by a mighty frown.
Freedom from your control and your anger
Has made me a better stranger!
Dancing in the streets
Loving in the sheets!
What bliss it is
To find this!

I was drowning for so long,
Grasping at any emotional song.
Just to feel something,
To know happiness or pain, anything!
I tell you know, I sing with joy,
I am free to kiss a girl or boy.
Does it really matter which?
Now that I have escaped your grasp, *****!

I found it!, I searched so long for it!
My SOUL if free
My very inner-core is happy!

I lost my soul somewhere along the road
But now I do not allow a touch by hands so cold.
I know better, and I learned.
For so long I had yearned,
To bring to life the adventurous me.
Now here I dance, and sing,
Here I raise my glass to the happy and free!

I could scream at you
I could punch you
But no good would it do
For neither me or you

Although my anger is still hot
I'm cooling it down with the breath I've caught