Have you ever read a book,
So sad it made you cry?
Have you ever read a book,
So much that you felt high?
Have you ever read a book,
So real you felt in sync?
Have you ever read a book,
So sensual you turned pink?

Have you ever watched a movie,
So dynamic you wish you could fly?
Have you ever watched a movie,
So convincing you'd comply?
Have you ever watched a movie,
So awesome you couldn't blink?
Have you ever watched a movie,
So perplexing it made you think?

Have you ever imagined these stories,
And really wished them to be true?
Have you ever sat and realized,
That these stories helped shape you?

Have you ever seen someone in passing,
and thought nothing of it?
Until one day they put a spell on you,
as they stared deep into your soul.
So deep down that your thoughts always go back to that moment,
And how to recreate it so you can feel that moment of ecstasy again.
Because I'm here to tell you it's happened to me,
and I really must warn you,
Don't fall into the darkness,
all it'll ever be is a dream.

I often times imagine, as I
kiss him, what it would feel like,
to be pressing my lips tightly
against yours.

When I lay down at night
and close my eyes, I picture you,
laying next to me, and what your,
warm embrace might feel like.

I dream often about you,
sometimes we are in love,
other times I see you with her,
and I wake up heartbroken.

But then I realize, I am the
real heart-breaker here, and maybe,
it is just all exciting and new, and that is why,
it feels so good to feel this way.

I'll be patiently waiting for you,
enveloped in the flames,
that you set to keep me warm.
Trapped in the darkness,
where the only thing I can see,
is your eyes staring back at me.
I'll keep trying to reach out to you,
only to choke on the thickened smoke,
unable to produce a sound.
I'll burn alive here waiting for you,
since you're the only thing I have left,
your dark perfection I have only ever dreamt.

As I lay here and think,
I realize it is not you that I want so badly,
It is the feeling I think you might give me,
That I truly crave.

It is that ecstatic feeling
That I can only ever imagine.
The one that lovers get when they meet,
after being separated for a long period of time.

The feeling of passion,
That I have only ever dreamt about.
The one that burns deep inside,
as lovers lay with each other.

To say I love you would be crazy,
But I am in love with this insane idea,
That you might just be the one,
Who could give me the feelings I crave.

Two weeks ago I left you,
Because I had fallen in love with the idea of a man.
It took so much courage,
And last night wasn't part of my plan.

You see the day after I left you,
I found out she was already in your bed,
Making me angry,
The darkness filling my head.

And then to my dismay I found out,
It hasn't been just the past two weeks,
But throughout our relationship,
Making me weak.

I snapped last night,
and you saw the side I didn't want you to see,
After three amazing years,
I was the person I never wanted to be.

I smashed your phone to the ground,
As I punched you in the head,
Threw your laundry into the street,
Mostly just the stuff from your bed.

What I've done to you is nothing compared to this,
Not even thinking of the man in my head,
For all he really is,  is a dark thought you see,
But you're already too busy with her in your bed.

The darkness of a black hole,
consuming me alive,
leaves me stripped of my senses.

Enveloping me slowly,
as I fall into the abyss,
I am nothing more than a conscious.

Even though I can't see him,
I know he's standing in the darkness,
watching me as I fall.

Among the nothingness,
I feel him deep inside,
As he moves closer to me.

As I open my eyes,
the moon shines brightly,
through my open bedroom window.

Hundreds of miles away,
he sleeps peacefully,
unaware that he is creating galaxies.

In my dreams I picture us,
Laying together,
But never sleeping through the night.
My fingers run through your long curly hair,
As you stare deeply into my soul.
You claw at my back,
As my body arches in pleasure,
You let a faint groan slip out.
I feel a faint breeze coming from the open window,
As we bathe together in the moonlight,
We hear the city that never sleeps below us.
You grab my neck and choke me,
As waves of pure ecstasy surge through me,
I bite my lip to prevent myself from making a sound.
I feel your love in the darkest parts of my soul,
And then I wake and realize it's only a dream.
The one thing that doesn't change is what I crave,
Just You and Me.

Today you said something that,
Finally put me over the edge,
That finally made me make up this,
Sick twisted mind of mine.

One simple text was enough,
To flip the switch from on,
Straight to off,
Without a second thought.

Now all day I have been
Thinking, of how I feel,
How I feel free but yet,
Lonely.

You see I think we were made,
To be friends, and we took it too far,
I did not mean to break your heart,
If it helps, I broke my own heart too.

All the others who have caught my eye,
Are no longer on my mind,
It really was the thrill of it all,
That ultimately had me.

Now I am left with this new feeling,
You see I have always been alone,
But this is the first time in my life,
That I have ever felt lonely.

I thought dreamcatchers were supposed to catch your bad dreams,
and send them flying out your window.
But the only nightmares I have are once I wake up,
and realize that you were all just a dream.

I used to be a night person, until I knew
I would see you every morning. You are better
than my caffeine kick, to get me through the day.
The other day, I told you that I
loved night time. Puzzled,
you asked me why. Little did you know,
It is because in my dreams, I am
always with you. You called the day,
gorgeous, which made me jealous. For I
will never be as beautiful as the morning sun,
that you love so much.

Yesterday I saw you,
For the first time in a year,
And almost instantly,
I regained all my feelings for you.

When I was with you,
I forgot everyone else that,
I had spent long hours thinking of,
And instead you took their place.

I dreamt of you all night,
And I kept waking up,
But every time I returned to sleep,
There you were again.

I will be seeing you a lot,
For the next couple months,
It just ***** that you already,
Love somebody else.

I repeat myself over
To read your expression
Not to hear you say it back.

I watch as your eyes
Never fully meet mine
And I repeat until they do.

Sometimes it takes 10 times
Others it takes 2.

You whisper it in my ear
As we make sweet love
You send shivers down my spine.

Sometimes I question
Not if you don't mean it
But how you mean it.

Golden sun kissed skin
With a pair of ocean blue eyes
Plum colored lips
Perfect hourglass shape

But she hates herself
Covered in bruises
Mascara running down her face
Cracked and scared

Not just the outside
But on the inside too
The body she sees now
Was never her own

Lies hidden behind brown eyes
A boy as twisted as her
Beaten and tormented
Always living in the past

Together they're tragic
A combination for disaster
With her malevolence
And his sensitivity

But he's put a spell on her
Unable to control herself
She means no harm
But there'll be no happy ending

And he'll fall in love
With the girl who fixed him
Just to have his heart ripped out again
No longer wanting to live

And she'll go crazy
This has happened before
Life's repeating itself
When will it end

As one doorway in life opens
It seems that another door has to be closed,
I tried for a while to balance it out
But I know all too well how this part goes.

I will spend more time at work
Less and less time at home,
Days without talking to you
I am now all on my own.

The hardest part is leaving you
But I have to do this alone,
I need to do something good for myself
No more talks on the phone.

But they say home is where your heart is
And I can not picture you anywhere else,
But here next to me
Helping me out.

I love you to pieces
You were where my mind went,
Until my promotion
Now my time is spent.

I am so lost on what to do
To stay or to leave,
All I know is one thing
I need to focus on me.

Do you think of her
When you close your eyes at night
Do you think of her
When you're holding me so tight
Do you think of her
When you lean in for that kiss
Do you think of her
When you say I'm the one you miss

You say you think you love me
Or is it just a lie
You say you think you love me
Or am I just her in your eyes
You say you think you love me
Yet all you do is play games
You say you think you love me
Yet you call me by her name

Tell me how you really feel
I am sick of all these lies
You told me you were different
When you looked into my eyes

So tell me do you think of her
When you're sitting next to me
You say you think you love me
But that's really hard to see.

I was watching you that night devil boy,
And I think you knew that even though you wouldn't look at me.
You went off script and decided to be a show off,
And the comment you made proved that you knew I was there watching.
You looked so ****** perfect as you softly sang along to your music,
Making me curious if you were listening to some lovesick song in the same tune as mine.
Your hair peeking out from under your hat was razor straight,
and it invited me to reach out and touch it.
The moonlight reflected off the buckles on your jacket as you moved around,
Catching my eye time and time again.
Your skinny jeans hugged you tightly,
Leaving little to my imagination.
You walked around with so much pride in your step that you almost had me fooled.
It wasn't until I looked into your eyes that I realized you weren't a cocky *******,
It was all just part of the act.
Deep down I saw all of your misery and the moment our eyes connected,
I felt all of your pain.
I wondered how something so beautiful could be so tragic,
As my mind begged me to find out more than just your name.
As I sit here in the moonlight thinking of you I realize I finally figured it out,
Your darkness and perfection all make sense,
Because the devil was an angel once too

Waterlogged pages litter the floor,
Her teeth,
Coffee stained.
All from the many jittery and sleepless nights,
Crying onto the ink filled pages,
Trying to write the perfect poem for you.

Her car smells of mind altering substance,
A still burning cigarette in the ash tray,
In hopes that her mind may wander onto something other than you.

She spends hours perfecting her makeup,
Not a single overprocessed hair out of place.
Wearing her tightest and darkest clothes,
She hopes she might get a second glance from you today.

But she won't see you today or tomorrow,
So she'll post a picture and hope you're watching.
Trying so hard to be something that'll catch your eye,
Your dark angel in the night.

Blues, Greens, Neon Pinks
Swirling all around
Jumping Around, Upside Down
Hanging from the sink

Hiding in the cupboard
Collapsing on the bed
You are not here with me
You think I'd get it in my head

But although I think I see you
I should really get the clue
This world is a crazy world
And maybe I'm just crazy too

I'll write you a letter
Full of beautifully twisted words
You'll think it's with love
But really it's just hurt

I'll leave no word unspoken
Not a single pain to spare
Because really I'm quite broken
Not like you'd care

I hope my words hurt you
Like tiny sharp knives
Leaving you empty
Consuming you live

Maybe then you'll see
All the pain you've caused
I'll write you a letter
And **** you with words

There are no more cute early morning texts
Or late nights over coffee
There is no more cuddling for hours
Or kissing as the sun rises

For the first time in a long time
You grabbed me and held me tight
You showered me with kisses
It is like you finally paid attention to me

Maybe you just know how I am feeling
That could of been it too
But I think you already lost me
It is time for something new

As the days go by
And the year comes to a close
I look back and realize
Just how much has changed.
A year ago I stood with you
Shattered and ruined
Here I am finally ready
To leave you in this year.
Not only did I lose you
But I lost a dear friend
She'll also stay behind
Keep each other company.
I've been through different jobs
Emergency room twice
Permanent scars
To remind me of this year.

But lets talk about the positives
I figured myself out
I took the year to change
And it's finally working out.
I finally feel happy
At peace with myself
I met someone new
I learned what love really is.
I got closer to a friend
Who showed me what friendship is
Stopped drinking my feelings
Stopped eating them too.

The things that I lost
Don't bother me much
Because the things that I gained
Are much better, trust.

Sometimes I leave in a rush
I fly down the highway
Always in a hurry to go somewhere
Do something, Be something
I stay out all night
Don't ever go home
No time for sleep
Always have to keep going

Sometimes I wake up and cry
I struggle to leave
I drive slowly
Tears down my face
Afraid that I'll return to nothing

How could I be so stupid
How could I not see
I've been too busy
Caught up in lifes' endeavours that
I forgot about who matters most to me

My days without you are often long.
Hours spent thinking of something, anything,
an excuse, just to talk to you.
I crave your presence, almost as if
you were a drug that I am addicted to.
The other day you stopped by.
I wondered if you noticed how I shook,
every time you even breathed in my direction.
I could not help but to try to avoid your gaze.
When I looked up, you were staring deeply,
into my eyes, and I could not look away.
A smile broke out, and a strong urge to,
get closer to you overcame me.
But next thing you know, you were gone.
And the next day I heard talks of the,
skinnier, prettier girl whom you like.
And I was heartbroken all over again.

The other morning,
I found myself worried,
About what I was going to wear
And how I was going to look.

The next day,
I found myself renewed,
Doing things I would never do
Hoping you were watching quietly.

The day after that,
I found myself anxious,
Wondering when I would hear from you again
Hoping it was you every time my phone rang.

All day yesterday,
I found myself daydreaming,
About the next time we meet
And how I want so much more.

Now we reach today,
I found myself desperate,
Needing to know how you are feeling
Because you have me feeling crazy.

Deep breaths of autumn air
Sting my lungs but feel so good
I feel relaxed, at peace
Not a care in the world

Police sirens sound in the distance
Cold wind gusts howl
Leaves fall from the tree
A runner jogs by

The neighbors laugh with their children
A truck honks as it drives by
Flags sway in the breeze
A plane overhead waits to land

The sky is a brilliant blue
Clouds as white as ghosts
The smell of barbecue on the grill
Carved pumpkins everywhere

Birds sing in the distance
Dogs down the street bark
The runner jogs by again
As he smiles and waves hello

A caregiver brings the elderly lunch
Motorcyclists race by
Someone leaves for work
The mailman stops by

The sun shines brightly
There's warmth in the light
A nearby tree bares cherries
A squirrel digs for its treasure

I wish I could take a picture
Of all the beauty around me
But a pictures not big enough
So I have put it in words

Your eyes are most unique
I want to stare into them
Like how I stare at the ocean
Waves washing in

Your laughter makes me smile
And laugh like I never knew
Like I am a little girl
Talking to her first crush

The way your face gets red
When you are really shy
Like the color of my roses
That I love so much

You make me forget things
That I do not want to feel
And just for those moments
It all seems so clear

I had a dream about you the other night
We were laughing and drinking
Sitting next to each other when
You grabbed me and kissed me

I wish I was not just dreaming
But I feel like we are both too shy
I have to find a way to somehow
Be in your life

I wanted to tell you
But I think you already know
That what I really feel
Is starting to grow

The feelings I have for you
Are unlike any other I have had
We are two different people
Just wandering through

We live seperate lives
But I know we could make it work
Somewhere, somehow
I know we could be great

I do not know if you feel it
But I am hoping you do
I have never wanted to help someone
As much as I do with you

I can see you breaking
And I am in no place to help
I can only offer my time
And someone to talk too

I hope we meet again
Maybe next time it will be easy
It can be the right time
Whenever we choose

I have thought about you,
And what we could ever be,
Yesterday, today,
And I will probably still think of you
Tomorrow too

Today I learned that you
Like someone else
Too insecure to say anything
While I sit here suffering
Too afraid to talk to you

You texted me this morning
And I could not help but smile
I am going to hope what I heard
Was just a rumor

I do not want to give up on these dreams
But I guess if that is what I have to do
Then I will leave it alone
I will try to forget about you

I always wanted to see the other coast,
That was the dream to me.
I had it all planned out,
The places I'd go, the people I'd see.
When the chance came,
I took it and ran.
I never stopped to think,
You'd be part of this plan.

Now here I sit,
Miles and miles away.
Thinking of your smile,
Wondering where you lay.
Do you even notice me,
Is it too good to be true?
You're part of my dream now,
I want it to be just me and you.

California is beautiful but it doesn't compare,
To the beauty in your eyes,
All those curls in your hair.
That big gorgeous smile,
I dream about in my sleep.
The way you rock that jacket,
The one I want to keep.

When I get back home,
You'll only be there for a week.
And then you'll move on in life,
Leaving me at your feet.
I'll see you again next year,
Until then my heart will weep.
I can't believe I've fallen,
For the guy I can not keep.

Perfect my makeup
Get all dressed up
Turn up the music
Shut the lights off

Scream the words to the song
Dance with the door
Make out with the wall
Get down to the floor

Jump on the bed
Pretend you're a flirt
Take a shot of some whiskey
Down a few more

Act out a scene
Pace around the room
Talk to your posters
The clock strikes two

Put on a good love song
Throw your clothes to the floor
Now it's past bedtime
Go to sleep wanting more

Get up and go to work
Have a thrilling day
When is it over
I just want to play

Drive home with a smile
The day's nearly done
Stop at the liquor store
It's time for some fun

Throw off your clothes
As you get through the door
Dance the night away again
Always wanting more

Where autumn leaves kiss the ground
That is where you will find me
Staring up into life
Watching this great cycle

The branches are like earth
And the leaves like the people
Who knows when it will end
But at least it is beautiful

The leaves need the branches
To grow up and feed
They overcome the obstacles
That life has to offer

But then it becomes their time
They turn old and brittle
Changing colors along the way
Getting ready for once last dance

And then they let go
Swirling around in the air
Finally settling down
On the cold autumn ground

Then the branches are bare
But spring soon comes
Bringing blooming flowers
And a whole new set of leaves

The repitition is endless
What a beautiful cycle of life
As I sit here and ponder
When will it be my time

Blood turned cold and blackened
Is all that flows through these veins
An empty space where my heart used to be
A long scar where it was ripped out

These once sparkling eyes
Are now turned dark and dull
My brief happiness replaced by misery
I just want to be alone