I **** the blunt
I never cough
Can’t feel the smoke
Consumed in my thoughts

I lie to you like you lie to me
Only each you is someone new

I want so bad to be with you
You say you want the same
But every time we’re together
You cause me so much pain

I want so bad for things to work
Despite what people say
I love you more than ever
But all you cause is hate

Too tired to get out of bed
The bathroom is too far
Let me lay
Let me day dream
Let me sleep
Concentration at lowest bar
Untouched pile of work
Looser fit in my jeans
Thoughts consume my head
Get me out of this scene

I want to be
Like the stars
So far away

Frightened by my own actions
Why am I this way?
I sleep with you
I sleep with him
To keep the worries away
And while I know
The feeling won’t last
I beg for it to stay
Because I’d rather be
With you
Or with him
Than in my own dismay

entwined in the altogether
he calls me baby

we soul kiss as he caresses my complexion
he embraces me, I discern I am his
during the passion, he is mine

sundered, endearment is bygone
our romance is maybe
disoriented and forsaken, my days are now rainy

Roses are red
Violets are blue
I’m late to this thread
I was getting some head

Into a deep abyss I sink
Struggling to cope
Consuming alcohol, I need to drink
I dream to float

I ponder on the fictional love
that splatters on the television
as my tears spill because I will never
experience that love
I am not in a movie

Oh, I used to love you
to lay in your arms
how you held me so tight
soon fell apart
how leaves fall from a tree
love needs to restart
leaves are stepped on and they crumble
the way they disintegrate, is like my heart

Everything stays inside
The people don’t need to see the darkness
What is the point of showing it when no one will be able to brighten it?
There will never be a door
Or a window for light to come in
The darkness will always defeat the little light there is
I have to stay true to myself and pick myself up
Because my darkness will never
Meet the sunlight
No matter where it’s from.

You kissed me so tenderly
You held my face
Your lips so soft
Your saliva leaving a trace

On my lips that trembled
As a result of emotion
My heart beat fast
My hands began to sweat

When I opened my eyes
Yours were not closed
You kissed me so tenderly
In such a pose

Despair maintains
To linger through daily life
Tears roll down
Life is
beautiful
Yet I am miserable
Will I escape the reality
That has become true
Or am I soon due?

when his uncle died
a piece of him died too
he faded away with his soul
I pray he will be whole
I pray he finds a new guide
unfortunately, this is the result of a homicide

When you lay at night, I know you think of me. I know this because I think of you too
Or am I delusional?
Is the way you look at me fraud?
Do your eyes lie?
U know my truth, but yours is so hard to know
Your mask is frightening but natural and real-looking that I’m starting to believe I only thought it was in fact a mask
Is this a ball? Since we both know I wear a mask too
I explain mine to you though, why I wear it
but you stay silent and I stay confused
If you don’t truly love me, I should go
If it really is just a party, and this is not just a mask, I’ll remove mine  
If you don’t think of me at night or in the morning, if the way you look at me is fraud, if your eyes lie, then I’ll stop my front
But if you do, I’ll glue my mask on until we can finally reveal our faces and dance.

It’s over
I can no longer be a poser

No words left
how to feel
what to do
I am everything normal
but
the thoughts in my head
and
the empty feeling in my stomach
consume who I am

To dance the night away
is my new favorite thing
the flashing lights, the whisky in my breath  
and the man attempting to dance
all excite me
I escape into the night
and I forget the truth
I never want to leave
You will find me at the club, now every single week

spin the barrel
this is not a Christmas carol
I think that's one, let me shoot
let me take his life
he has nothing to lose, he has no wife
he's just a foe, that I must execute

I lay in the dark
Face is numb, tears still manage
Soon is a new day

Once on high grounds
not caring about a thing
now, I crave to be found
and care too much about everything

Once young and blind
now, I want to shine
but, I'm lost in my thoughts
I'm trying to escape
I can hear them calling
so I keep falling

As the midnight snows
my desire to be
another's grows
to be as beautiful
as a rose
seems to be my new pose
I'll sit here waiting
for my love, at last, to show
that true love is not just something that I suppose

It’s Friday night
My friends are at a club
Yet here I am

Are we living to be sad?
all ive ever felt lately, was mad
im losing touch
and I don't have much
I have enough money
yet I am still poor
I can't do this anymore