The blue of your eyes
Not deeper than the blues I write about,
Yet much more mesmerizing
They could give hope
To a corpse

And when you are you
I could finally be me
No facade, no impostors,
Just one love
Transcending
Through both of us

The blue of your eyes
In them I drown my sorrow
Funny how sometimes you have to lose yourself
To be found
And all their will fall
Back to the pit where they belong

And when you are you
I could finally be me
You'll take my hand,
I'll break those walls
I built for years
and show you the way
to my heart

The blue of your eyes,
The cheesiest lines have been said for this shade
But has anyone told you,
The spark in them
Gives warmth to my bitterly cold heart

**And when you are you
I could finally be me
You would put arms around my waist
I could finally fall apart
Because yours are the hands I'll fall in.

If you could, would you
Trade all these words
For the peace of mind
That you never got

If you could, would you
Wipe off all your memories,
scars and lessons
And restart

if you could, would you
Let the heart give away its last beat
To some goodbye
You think should never exist

As to what I would do
I am not so sure
All I can do is sit and ponder
What might have happened

If I had chosen to let you go
When I still had it in me

One by one,
The words abandoned
But the pain never did.
One by one,
The days passed,
But the longings never diminished

Moments after moments
I died,
But my love for you lived
Rejections after rejections
Gave wings to my motivation
They landed some place afar from here

Nights after nights dawned
But the nightmares continued to last
Long after I had opened my eyes
Preacher after preachers
Gave their doctrines,
I was repulsed farther
From any religious entity

Pages after pages,
Were stained with my ink
But the mind never felt
Any relief
Words after words were said,
My heart still died thirsty

With an unfulfilled wish to seek
An understanding in someone's eyes

The red roses now lay
Dead on the ground
The violets have withered away
On the wings of wind,
The love that once was there
Will never be
The girl who I was,
Is lost to,
A ghost I never thought I'll see

The poetry pages
Now lay tattered
and torn on the floor,
The writer's pen is also gone
The ink running inside
his vein has dried,
Somewhere he is lost in his suffering and plight

There is a kind of lost
That is never found
A darkness so profound,
There is no scope for hope
A void so vast,
No sound can get through

The mirror now lays
Broken on the bed,
The broken reflections reflects the brokenness inside her heart
Being so young, she should not
But she already fell in love with the company
Melancholia brings

The dimly lit room,
Absorbs all the light the window lets in,
How much more breaths
Before he blends in,
And becomes one with the darkness
That surrounds him

He is not giving up,
but maybe he will give in,
It is so peaceful once
you hit the rock bottom
You can finally lay in peace
With no one calling out your name
No one calling out your name,
**With no care in the world
You can finally be

Maybe my kisses
Were too soft to be felt
Or not hard enough for you to memorize them,
Maybe that is why I have seen you
Looking down that alley,
But lemme tell you,
You are looking for love
At all the wrong places.

Maybe the words I said
Were not enough
But you forgot my love is composed
Of a million feelings I can't name
Now all of them have reshaped
To beg you,
Please don't go chasing those two headlights

Maybe I should not have closed the door,
Right at your face
And still stood there
With my hand on the door ****,
But I guess I knew
I won't get too far
Without letting you know,
Love almost never lives
Where you lost it

So please before I am lost,
In the arms of someone
Who is mesmerized by starlight
I would like you to know,
When the headlights move away too fast
For you to follow
When you lay defeated and in the cold,
Remember these words of mine
That asked you not to go chasing those headlights.
They shine brilliantly
But they are just light,
Gone away in the blink of an eye.

They say,
Girl all your poems are the same,
I took a closer look and realised
They are correct,
The words are different
But the contexts are usually the same
But what can I do
If I see this world
in shades of pain and heartbreak.

They say,
Girl, all you write about is love
A few seconds of introspection and I realised
They are correct
But what can I say
If the only emotions
I have felt
Is love and its absence

They say
Girl, all your wishes  are about
things so little and ordinary
A deeper look into my dreams
And I realised
They are right
But what can I say
If all I long is to go back
To those simpler, childhood days

They ask,
Girl, why do you feel so strongly
A look at my wounds and I see they are right
But what can I say?
If I was born
With an enormous need
To be loved
And give it away

They ask
Girl why do you fret over
The endings so much
On an encounter with my lover,
I felt they are correct
Well, what can I say
If the iti in my name means end
And that tells all the story by itself

Had I told the moon
What I felt for you
It would turn a shade darker out of envy
And leave the world in darkness
Only to be my personal guide

Had I shown the sky
What I would do for you
It would fall down
Willing to be the
land I walk on

Had I touched the flower
With the softness
I touched you,
It would shed its petals
So that I could pick them up
And put them in my favorite book

Had I looked at stars
With a gaze I've reserved only for you
They would gladly leave their home
And fall at my feet

Had I whispered the poems
I write for you
To the wind
It would gather all the breeze
And sit on my palm
Hoping to be held

It was so short,
I could not even tell
If it was really you,
Or a ray of light that showed me how love truly works,
Oh I wish it did not,
But would I still have these words
If I had not known what's it like to love and lose

It was ephemeral,
I could not even tell,
If it was really you,
Or the shower of my dreams,
I did not know I needed to be true
But I did
Oh I wish I did not,
But would I still wake up at night
Looking for warmth and security
You took with yourself.

The carousel stopped for a minute,
Right when we were at the top; lost In our world,
The story of our love
Lasted for moments,
And Now you have to go your way,
While my future keeps beckoning me to come

It was so surreal,
I could not even tell,
Were those your lips
Pressed against me
Or was it a new bloomed bud
A constant withering delight
Oh, I wish the wind did not carry it away
But would I ever taste
A longing so strong
If my path
Had not let me into yours

It was so mesmerizing
I could not even tell,
Was it really you
Or a trip to heaven
So absorbed in our little present then,
Now I live in that present, which is now my past,
Drowning my future in the moments we never got to make
I wish we did
But whose trance would I be submerged in
If it were not for you,
My ever lasting love.

The carousel stopped for a minute,
Right when we were at the top; lost In our world,
The story of our love
Lasted for moments,
And Now you have to go your way,
While my future keeps beckoning me to come

A person is not what
Others' opinions define him to be
A moon's beauty can not be judged on a night it is eclipsed by clouds
A tree is much more than the bare branches you see in autumn
There Is more to a poet than what he is willing to write about

There is more story behind a frown than a heartbreak,
There are the memories lurking
Invisible to their cold eyes
There is more to me and you than
These heartbreaks
There is more to us than what their cold eyes will ever find

There is more complexity to my character
Than the page of my story you decided to waltz in
There is a lot more to everyone of us
Than what our eyes see
And pain makes only sense If it still hurts,
But no one can ever truly get the extent
to which someone is grieving inside

There is more to my wound,
Than the faded scar you see
And I hope there is more to you
than the judgmental hypocrisy.
Because
I have seen you bleed too,
May be not the way I do.
But one thing you should know, never smother,
**As no pain is inferior to another.

Then the heart asked my mind a question,
Or, well the softer part of me, to the more reasonable one
For how long, do you think, this one wound can bleed
My mind, unsure, haughtily said
You held on it, way longer than he did
The pieces of my heart cringed under
The voice holding the ultimate truth
As the frozen memories of him
Came rushing back
I know it is so,
But these hands never learnt to let go
The hands looked flustered,
Their voices timid with the brewing anger
Replied "neither did you, heart. Neither did you."
And stop pretending
You're the only who holds grievance,
At least you don't stay up
Writing about the lines on his palm,
All these poems,
He never bothered to throw a short glance

Some people are like stars
You can only love them and look them from a far
You can't wish,
For them to be a bit closer,
They'll burn you whole,
You can't wish they disappear
The nightsky will be forlorn
All you can do
Is look at them,
And love them some more
A love composed of long sighs
And no fruitful result
And in the daylight
It is easy to pretend you forgot
But every night, the desire
Ignites your soul
And there they shine
Happy to be where they belong
And here you stand alone,
Never feeling quite at home

The kind of girl
Who remains awake till dawn
To write about the sun

The kind of boy
Who would follow her
To the end of world
To just watch the fire inside her burn

The kind of girl whose lips
never talk about love
All her love is written, and preserved

The kind of guy
Whose voice is a home away from the house she has always known

The kind of girl who writes about peace
Because her mind is always at war

The kind of guy who holds on to her jagged ends
While she finishes picking herself off the floor

The kind of girl who sees
color in every
shade of black

The kind of guy who looks for her broken smile in every strangers' face

The kind of girl to unassemble herself
And put the splits on the pages for display

The kind of guy who patiently reads through the lines
Just to get a glimpse of
How it's like inside her head

The kind of girl to decorate
her braids with stars

The kind of guy to put a hundred moons in her path

The kind of girl who is content with being in the background as life goes on

The kind of guy to treat her as if she is the main character to his novel plot

The kind of girl whose smile is like the first light after a long eclipse

The kind of guy to give her the highest place
Even when the darkness environs her

The kind of girl who can't stay in
A place for long

The kind of guy to know her heart won't let her go astray

The kind of girl who is not ashamed of her wings
In a world where everyone else's are clipped off

The kind of guy giving her the space to navigate
Believing she'll find her way to him
All over again

The kind of girl who will spread through you,
Like forest fire
And get you hooked up
Like some dark magic

The kind of guy who will let her do so,
Cause behind every pure magic
Are some dark stories
And everyone you love, takes a piece of you
And he wants it to be only her

These people are the ones you should fall for

Let this night
Bury in itself
All the evidences
Of what happened

Let the wind
Absorb in itself
The screams
No soul heard

Let this floor
Be cleared
Of the innocence
That was taken away

Let these walls
Be painted a new shade
To silence them
so they never tell the tale

Let the incidence
Be turned into twisted politics
A step sideways, and two backward
Never evolving

Let the world
Be dumb and deaf
To the injustice
Done

Let the candles
Be lit in her memoir
And watch them wax
As the news get old

Let the case be placed
Under a big pile of dusty, unsolved files and say*
We did our best

A touch of hand
Hardly a brush
But you felt enough
A word
he whispered
Not much
But you felt yourself
getting swept away

A smile
He brings when he comes,
Nothing strong,
But it won't ever falter
A new hope you found
Amidst all these doubts,
No way to know where it will lead
But you can't stop

You can feel it,
Everywhere you go,
The winds keep spreading
His aroma all around you

You can see it,
In the darkness
You are now dreaming of his face
With eyes wide open

The adrenaline rush
Giving you the highest high
you ever felt
A shrug, it can't be that
But you can't stop looking her way

A glimpse
Not long before she goes
But she continues to linger
In your thoughts

You can feel it
In your solitude
The ebbing pain cursing her name

You can hear
the fresh leaves saying
The weather will soon change

A growing blush on your cheeks
Not too prominent, you hope
But everyone with eyes
Has started to see a pattern

A stutter along with some whispers
Your heart floats some place far
With a buoyancy  
it has just acquired

You can hear it
Inside your chest
What once was hollow
Is now pounding with grace

You can feel it
By the flutters of the butterflies
That rose from the ashes

A strange euphoria wreathed around you
Not one reason you can confirm
But your friends say
It is cause of her

A late night revelation
Not a thing you planned
But here you are hoping hard
The cupid hit both of you and not just one.

You can see it now
clearer than the moon
on a cloudless night
It is love.
You know it now
Better than the childhood rhymes
You have learnt
*It must have been love all along

You don't know about
the no. Of times
I have sought you
In my dreams,
My face buried
Against the crook of your neck
Only to find
The place next to me empty
I guess this bed
was never meant for two


You don't know
about the no. Of times
I stop my legs
from steering in your direction
But there is little I can do
about my eyes
Which follow you through the crowd
So perfectly
I guess you are the only view
they enjoy to see

You don't know
about the no. Of times
I bite my tongue
To stop them from murmuring
I love you
When that is all my lips want to do
Other than to feel
the softness of yours
Pressed against mine
I guess some lips are meant to go dry

You don't know
about the no. Of times
My mind weaves these
Difference scenarios
With only one ending
Of me in your arms,
One day you'll just be
A fragment of my imagination
I guess some wishes intensify
If they  are kept unfulfilled

You don't know
about the no of times*
Half of my heart
reaches out for you
While the other half
holds on to its pride
Tearing me into two
I guess some hearts
never make up
their minds*

-
A.K

Her eyes
Were the shade of black
But a closer inspection
would tell you
*They were so much
more

Her eyes held chaos
Wrapped up in poetry,
Like constellations,
You could only read them
Once you get familiar
With the patterns

Her eyes are an endless night sky
With hope shimmering as stars,
All over,
A heavenly view to some,
For me the perfect place
to untangle my woes and live in

Her eyes are the kindest black hole
You'll ever see
Pulling you in and swallowing your insecurities and sadness up
Till only the real, unbroken you stand beside her

Her eyes are the tempest,
A door to another world,
And one part of your soul remains untouched
Unless you climb in her mind
And see the world through her eyes

Her eyes
Are the shade of black
But on closer look
You'll see
They are much more than that
They are the place I had to get lost first
To find my true self

"See you around"
Now, I have never been a fan of goodbyes
But that was far-stretched to a point
It could only be a lie.
Our song, whose words either
You have forgotten,
Or, no longer care to utter,
Has been long sung
And over.

And in an ideal world,
You would be exactly where I belong,
But the world always gets its way
I must admit,
It is hard to watch all your love
Getting drained out of your bone
With no face to blame

And I don't know if it's a choice,
I think not,
To have a control over
Who we choose to love
And maybe I should have kept
All these feelings bottled up
In some dark corner of my mind
But I had to try
Or how would have I known

And we tried,
Did not we?
Two souls against
This world's ways
But I guess it was just too much
For anyone to take
And we both were
Two little kids
Who increased in volume
But never really grew up

And writing is how I'll get to keep you
Yet give you the final closure you need
I loved you with every ounce of
What was mine
But it will be a suicide
If I choose to stand here
Hear your footsteps
Till they fade
Because your memories
A quicksand
I never learnt to escape

I have to leave,
Since you already have
So,
Goodbye to you,
My lover, my better half, my best friend.

Put your makeup on
Fix your hair
Don't let them know
You are hurting
But God, are you hurting!

Put a facade on
Make your voice sound softer
Walk with a zeal
Don't let your eyes betray you
But oh, they always betray you

Mirror, mirror on the wall
Can they tell
I have been wasting my self away
Curled up in a ball

Mirror mirror on the wall
Will they ever know
The face in the mirror
Masks more pain than they'll ever know

Fight the lump in your throat
Eat but never swallow
You need to fit into that dress
Your boyfriend bought
Oh, anything for him.

Pull your sleeves down
They must not see
The cracks through
Your impenetrable wall
But the voices are just too loud

Mirror, mirror on the wall
How long will he love me
If I continue to live
In this flawed skin I was born with

Mirror, mirror on the wall
Can I tell you a secret
Few more weeks
And I'll be the prettiest of them all

Ignore the stares
But does your hip look too flat
It can't be, you followed all the diet procedures perfectly
Or, did you

Give in
You can't do this anymore
Who would ever love
The ugly duckling you have
Become

Mirror,  mirror on the wall
Why do you have to be so shallow
Why don't you reflect
All the goodness inside a person

Mirror, mirror on the wall
Watch how I break you
And bleed my life dry
On the shattered piece of you

Dear little girl,
*You have hated your reflection
That I showed all this time
If you only knew
Only you have the acceptance
You sought in everyone's eyes

I like to think
I bury him a little bit
Every day
Under the pile of poems
He'll never get
To read

I like to think
That I have crossed a certain stage
Now that I refer to you
as "him" instead
And in this fact,
I find some solace

I like to think
About the sight Of you loving her
The way I wish you had loved me
And how that no longer
makes me cringe
I'm finally letting go

I like to think
That maybe,
Not all of us can find love
But If we try hard enough,
We will find something greater
Waiting just to happen to us

I like to think
We are more
And will always be
More than the bitter people
Who try to break us,
We are indestructible.

The blue of his eyes is
Mesmerizing enough
to keep me captivated
But kind enough to let me float
And not drown
He is infinitely dreamy
And he is infinitely
Mine

I am found
Behind the cavity of his eyes
Between the beats of his heart
The deviousness lurking
Around the corner of his lips
He is infinitely fine
And he is infinitely
Mine

The touch of his
Is velvety enough
To soothe the chasms after a long day
But wild enough to awake
The wolf in me On a new moon night
He is infinitely wild
He is infinitely
Mine

I am found
On the tip of his tongue
In between the words,
And in his eloquence
He is infinitely artistic
He is infinitely
Mine

The voice of his
Magical enough to put my restlessness Into ease
But playful enough to make my
Heartbeats Flutter
Whenever and however he wishes
He is infinitely magical
He is infinitely
Mine

I'm found
In his memories and dreams
In his longings and reality
I'm the music he breathes
With his missing heartbeats
He is infinitely passionate
He is **infinitely
Mine

You ask me
To snap out if it
Like it's a choice
Like I'm hurting
By desire
And not a compulsion
Fate has
Bound me with

You cry
For all these materialistic things
Your teeth have gaps
And you had to get it fixed
I cry
Because I have seen a mother
Trying to get through
Her son's epileptic brain
And let him know
She loves him.

You say you know
The pain I must feel
But can you
Can you really?
I remember all the times you were there
But I also remember the majority of nights
When you were not

I had to battle alone
All those days
Darker than most of the nights
You were busy
Getting laid

my issues
Were downplayed
And I was blamed
To be the one
Eclipsing your happiness
And I apologised
Who needs razor blades
Your words
Make deeper cuts
And no one can even see the harm

I was fine before
Always Maintaining my distance
As if the plague inside me
Will create havoc
The moment I
Get near a happy soul
I'll infect them
With the misery
That I am

But you were different
You gave me hope
You showed me there was another way
And just like that
I thought I was saved
But I was not
The flood came
When I was fully assured
You were the life boat
And you were gone.


You were an illusion
I mistook for pure magic
You were the toxicant
I hoped would cure me
You gave me hope
Only to ****** it
Away from me
And the walk back home
All alone
Has never felt this lonely

Why did you hold my hand
Only to let me go
Why did you give me shelter
Only to kick me out
When I get used to the warmth
Why did you assure me
You'll be here
When that was never the part of your plan

And now I look at the mother of epileptic kid
Whose pain lasted longer
Than she ever will
Her eyes have lost their light
She is oblivious to my hands
Holding hers
Don't you dare tell me
It gets better
Cause it never does

It is hard to see,
To tell myself,
You still are the guy
Who made my world better
Just by existing in it
One look at me, and
you would know
The exact words to say

I can tell it by your ways
That you find it hard to remember
The reasons why your
reasonings were swept away
And I became
The only exception,
The one to hold
The key to your heart

See,
Now I'm holding this white flag
I'm putting my weapons down
Can you see
The girl you used to be in love with?
Because I can see it clearly
You still are that guy
I would love to get lost with

Tell me,
How did things go so wrong
You won't even look at me
Without feeling a shame
I used to be your grace
What happened?

I'm sorry for all those times
I shoved you away
With those rude words
I put our relationship on a display
But I did not know any better way
To stop myself from loving you

So my mind had to do
Everything in its power
To keep a leash on my heart
Which kept crawling back to you

And in the process
I lost my best friend
I want it back
Will you let him
Come to me?
I miss him, so badly

I hope by now you have noticed
This world is far too cruel
Masks and treachery at every step
And I can't help but reminisce
about the good times
We were each other's safe haven

Our paths crossed,
Then we separated
And I was too bitter
Because you were the only thing
I wanted so badly to stay

I see it now,
So better and clearly
We still are the people
We fell in love with
Even though,
There is no romantic love here anymore
I hope,
For ever and more
We will be each other's best friend

The atmosphere is
too thick to breathe
Or maybe it is just
the unattainable expectations
keeping my wings still

The pen beckons at me
The paper looks at me
with this seductive appeal
The words in my head yell,
longing to be heard,
But I just can't get out my bed

I see the sun rise,
And watch it set
The next day I thought
Maybe it's getting a little wary
For I'm the flower that refuses to spread my petals
No matter if it comes or goes

When will they realise
I'm too reckless to be contained
Of what use is a bird
whose wings have been clipped off

The walls are all shades of wrong
I blink and I feel them one inch closer
Scared to close my eyes,
Lest I wake up gasping for air
My mind has forgotten how to sleep

And I wonder if anyone else
feels this way
If yes, why have not they found me yet
Is this the wrong world I was born in
How am I supposed to walk in
this skin that never fit me perfectly

I try to hide the chaos in my eyes
Because I'm the only assurance my people have
But I'm falling apart at a pace faster than I can hold on to this pretense
Can someone just
get me out of my bed

He is all
blooming sunflowers and rainbows
I'm all
darkness and reckless storm.

He is all
perfect moves and graceful steps
I am the
clumsiness tripping over myself.

He is all poetic verses and
how the sunshine tastes
I am the blot of ink scattered
all over the page

He is the name of the ache
my beating heart feels
I am the name of his forgetfulness
that is only confined to me

He Is the gentle summer rain, every creature appreciates
I am the extremity they warned you about in your books

He is the destination,
the only thing I have ever wanted
I am the blindfold, an illusion
Distracting him from his happy ending

He is the spotlight
of every party
I'm the 3am loneliness
the poets battle against

He exists a little bit
in all my poems and unfinished drafts*
I am the past he has long
buried
which no one knows a thing about

The kind of restlessness that does not bring you sleep
The kind of love that weighs your heart down, leave you to sink
The kind of tears that never dry, flowing abandoned and endlessly
The kind of hurt that spreads throughout your body, leaving you crippled
The kind of smile that always fails to touch your eyes
The kind of time you always keep running out of
The kind of life that kills you slowly

If this is a movie,
Let me tell you I want my money back

Cause last time you ever
wrote me into your story
I was the girl
who could not make it to the interval


If this is a book that you are reading
Lemme turn the page

Cause last time you ever
read me something
I had to wake up
to find you missing

If this is nothing but a game to you
Lemme tell you I don't want to play anymore

Cause last time we played hide-n-seek
You never started looking
And I had to yell
" I'm over here"

If this is a life that I'm living
Lemme tell you I Want to end it

Cause last time I heard
Life is only for the living
And I have already
started rotting

If this is an expectation, I'm supposed to stand up to
Lemme tell you I'm already slipping

Cause last time you
held me in your arms
I felt a noose tightening around,
Strangling and choking me

If it is death what you are scared of
Lemme tell you, death is the only privilege we all can afford

Cause last time I opened my eyes
I saw how biased life was,
Every one thinks they have a plan
But Life tricks us all

All I know
Since the moment
You decided to walk away
Is how many seconds
have passed
Before I lost track
Of them
As seconds turned to minutes
Minutes flowed into hours
And I still have not
seen your face

All I know
Since the moment
You decided to walk away
Is how you have been my shelter
From everything I loved
Which later on turned toxic,
How you have saved me
From drowning
In a flood that he
And his memories
Always bring

All I know
Since the moment
You decided to walk away
Is how I have been pouring
myself Out in you
And just when I thought I was empty
The momentary bliss would fade
And still
you would hold me
After the many times
I relapsed

All I know
Since the moment
you decided to walk away
Is everything has
gone less tender
Night comes with pangs
In the shape of my worst nightmare
But sleep never does
Days have gone monotonous
Meeting into each other
In a slurry blur

All I know
Since the moment you
Decided to walk away
Is that the symmetry of things
Around me
Does not look the same.
The lonely tree is crying
Dropping its jewel in
Early spring*
Please,
Come back

Beautiful, tragic and short
Who could have known
This is how it would end

Bittersweet memories
Fading and resurfacing
Simultaneously

A moment goes so fast;
A snowflake in a palm,
The evanescence of a kid's thrill

Exaggeration, some may say
But with every intake and exhale of breath
I still take your name

The midnight hours
Know all about
my muffled screams,
My bloodshot eyes and
swollen lips,
The sleep that chooses
To evade me.

The midnight hours
Know more about me
than you ever will.

The midnight hours
Know about
the heartaches and cravings
While I lay awake
My ears intent upon hearing
The silent song
the sky sings To the earth

Oh, yes, the midnight hours
know more about me
than you ever will

The midnight hours
Watch silently
As I take off my facade
And try to untangle
my woes Vainly,
The clock ticking
In the background


The midnight hours
know more about me
than you ever will

The midnight hours
Feel the invisible pile
Of failed attempts
weigh me down on my chest,
wondering how many more
Before I suffocate
To an early, unremarkable death

Oh yes, the midnight hours
know more about me
than you ever will.


The midnight hours,
Bid farewell,
Leaving so softly,
Their eyes foreseeing
The dark future of mine-
Darker than
any shade they bring

**The midnight hours
know more about me
Than you ever will

I have been walking around this road
All alone for so long
Unaffected by a friend's betrayal
Or the enemy's kindness
Whether it snows or the sun scorches
I have carried on
Into places unknown
Rendering formal greetings or,
Maybe some small talk
"How have you been"
The weather and the work
Mouth replies dryly
To personal questions
"It feels nice to be here"
While my mind secretly makes
Escape plans
You should not be in this vicinity
Too many people with heart beats
Every Eye filled with a hundred questions
Every mouth desperate to trade secrets
Solitude is the best company, I have learnt
The more silent you are, the more you can listen to God talk
Through the birds and the thousand twinkling stars
Solace can be found in the hardest of times
If only one knows how to dissolve
In the nature around himself
So I shall lay down on wet grass
And the thousand lighting suns will be the roof of my house
With the solitude wrapped around me as a blanket
And the fireflies buzzing in the background
I'll have the sweetest sleep

Why is it
That you only look
for stars
When there is no moon
And it is dark

Why is it
That you only know
what you had
When it is time
to say goodbye

Why is it
That the things we have
Always have to wait
While we seek the things
We might never get

Why is it
Among the greenery
of the spring
We forget about the autumn leaves that flew away

Why Is it
I have always grieved
for loss more strongly
than I ever
Felt the love

Why is it
That I always write about things
When it is a little too late
And they are already gone;
Their meanings belittled



Why is it
We are too busy wondering
why someone loves us
Instead of confessing
we feel the same


Why is it
We stare at a moment
till it slips
right out of  our hand
And blurs into a forlorn memory


Why Is it
That we wait
to be sure
Till a chance becomes
another what if

Why is it
That you only look
for stars
When there is no moon
And it is dark

Why is it
That you only know
what you had
When it is time
to say goodbye

Why is it
That the things we have
Always have to wait
While we seek the things
We might never get

Why is it
Among the greenery
of the spring
We forget about the autumn leaves that flew away

Why Is it
I have always grieved
for loss more strongly
than I ever
Felt the love

Why is it
That I always write about things
When it is a little too late
And they are already gone;
Their meanings belittled



Why is it
We are too busy wondering
why someone loves us
Instead of confessing
we feel the same


Why is it
We stare at a moment
till it slips
right out of  our hand
And blurs into a forlorn memory


Why Is it
That we wait
to be sure
Till a chance becomes
another what if

I have let you in
Every time you asked me to
I have held your hand
Every time you were about to fall
I think I had the right
To call you my safe haven
But today when my feet ran
out of the ground
Your arms were too occupied
to catch me

I wished I could give you the world
But I already gave you everything
that was mine
And all these words I say
Mean nothing to you
They melt and dissolve
I no longer want to look
Maybe they will find lips
Of someone new
Who might appreciate the love
You could never see in them

I have burnt myself
To give you warmth
I have fought the world
To get a minute with you alone
I have fallen from grace
Just because you asked me to
I probably would do it again
Without ever blinking twice
So why is it when I want the same
Your pace falters

Why you can't do with effort
What I did out of love;
So effortlessly
Where is your love
When I need you to show it
Why am I only sought
When you have got nobody
And even though I know we no longer
Are a thing officially
I wonder where did all your love get buried

And I have been losing sleep
Over that one dream
Where you come to me
And hold my hand
Your eyes, apologetic
And I say I'm sorry
But I have already let you go

And I have been losing my head
Over that one what if
Where you come knocking
At my doors
After years and
I still hold you In my embrace Saying I knew you would find me again

And you see
Holding you a captive
In my memories
Hurt just as bad
As the thought of
Having to let you go
To be finally healed

I have woven you so intricately
Into the fibres of my being
And what if one crazy day
I realise I can live without you
Like the stars are independent
And don't need a moon  
To make them glow

What if I realise
I shine better without you
Eclipsing my judgment?
Would that be the day
I shall finally be free
Or the day I lose a part of me
Never to have it back again

Cruel are the Ayats
that show us the way to be
And still take my love away from me
Hypocrites are the maulvis who think they know what God wants or who He is

Cruel are the gospels that claim to set
All of us free
If we only follow their version of religion
Hypocrites are the white-robed priests
With dark stained hearts

Pardon my boldness
I'm just curious
And have always been
My moral compass stands intact
Better than most preachers
I have met

Now, Religion has always been
a shaky ground for me
With their ever present contradictions
And the fight over superiority
Are you the only one who has a copyright over Him?

I have found
And I have realised
Religion is a wittering fool's
Favorite jewel
You can fight over whose path
is more right

But still there are people
Who cry themselves to sleep
Children who have got nothing
To eat
You go on,
It is time to preach

But how can you claim
To love God
When you have never fed
A starving child
When never has someone's tears
Made you burn

So you can go, Tell your God
How you loved him With all of you
I'll go tell mine:
Though my faith faltered
But I never stopped serving
His people

My mind never intends to write
Yet my heart bleeds poetry,
The naked dark secrets,
Spilled all over the blank page
For the world to judge and see
My mouth never speaks
But words on my tongue
Long for the day
They get to taste
The voice of your lips


My mind never intends to love
Yet my heart gives it to you
As if they are the left over pennies
The world no longer has anything
To give In exchange for.
My mouth never complains
But my love is getting wary
Of being the love who loves
But is never loved back.

My mind never intends to confess
My love so profusely
Yet my heart does it so often
If people could hear wind talk
The whole world would know about our story
A story never ends
It just gets abandoned
The author finds another muse
But you shall always be
My favorite unfinished draft

In between the rise and fall of your chest
I find a place to rest my head
I feel all the insecurities leave me
When you call me beautiful
In your semi-conscious state
I watch you seek me
In your dreams
And call out my name
And if it was possible to love you
More than i already do
In this moment i definitely would
I hold your hand
You pull me in
Without ever seeing me
I feel the irrelevance of the words
I have been molding
To fit the love i have for you
But love lies in these little things
How two lovers seek each other
After a long torturous separation
A couple of ily's and kisses are exchanged
Before your consciousness fades
I know I'll be there with you
Wherever it is your heart sails to
In your dreams
A place far from this world
Of bitterness and hypocrisy
The clock tick-tocks
Time never favored us,
I beg it to stand still
So that i can encapsulate every scar and wrinkle
On your skin
I'm in your bed again
It feels like it had been another life
When we held each other
And bid farewell
I guess
Without you to hold on to
I held on to your memories tighter than before
We decided
The river was too wide
And it was hard to swim
With all of the world clasping with chains at our feet
We finally accepted
The world always wins
But my heart,
though secretly and inaudibly,
Still chants your name
And my mind is too busy playing pretend
To bother itself
With the fuss
Produced by my wailing heart
But now when im laying
In such a close proximity with you
There is no place
I would rather be
But the clock strikes 6
I know it is too early to leave
But it will always be too early
Too soon
I think there is a love
You just can't survive
I know it
Because that love is ours
reluctantly i pull myself away from you
But my heart and soul
Refuses to leave
I threaten them
I say I'll never set my foot in this place again
They reply with a smirk
This is where all your path leads to
We will see you again

I assembled this ship
Bits by bits
Only to watch it get wrecked
By you

And then it hurt so bad that, after that moment, it never hurt at all

I let you in
Inch by inch
only to have you
leave me abandoned again

And maybe it was my fault to chase the light that burnt for someone else and to hope it would stay

I fell
Slowly, carefully
Then all at once; recklessly
And hit the ground so hard

And maybe it is never the fall that hurts but it's the landing that makes us writhe in pain

I wrote you poems
Word by word
Only to have them
Classified under "stupid clichés"

And maybe you were right, there is nothing I can write that has not been written before without making it a cliché

I gave you a place
In my thoughts
Day after day
You became my (only) muse

*And maybe if they knew, I'm just a poet who always wanted to be woven in words and be someone's poem.

I met you
When I was
At a very strange stage
Of my life
All the faces had lost their identity
And were nothing but a blur
Till they blended into the background
Gone unnoticed
The same way they had come
And you were just the same
Among the dead memories and the ashes left
You were just one of the many's
Till on a cold night
I saw the spark you were giving
You were reaching out for me
I wondered why
I was curious where this might lead
I was the cold leaf
That then remained wet on the ground
Because it is a nature's rule
What goes up
Must witness a  scary down
I was denying the law of gravities
Being caressed by the wind
Till a thunderstorm came
And shook the very root
Of my being
And it was during that descent I realised
The high is never worth
The fall that follows
But you reminded me of the smell of spring
I never thought I would live to feel
I decided to watch from a distance
While you kept closing in on me
Your eyes penetrating through
Layers I had made
Not quite sure if they were there for my benefit
Or to bury me alive
I probed and poked to make sure
You were not another trick
Of this devious vile
We call life
Your steps, never hesitating,
I warned you
Your sparks will have no effect
On a leaf soaked in depression
You picked me up
Wiped the traces of the rain
The rain
I thought will never end
And held me in your palm
Like I was not dirt..
But a flower you found
In a field of weeds
Like I was the most precious thing
You had come across
One's garbage, another's gold
But I don't want to go high
Oh no please not another fall
But i like
The gentle touch of yours
Treating me with care
When every thing else is just friction
I like the warmth you radiate
When all I have been doing
Is shiver alone in the cold
I wonder if you can see
I'm trying my best not to lean further
Just closest I can get
Without actually touching
Cause one fine day
You'll see
I'm not a flower
But a drenched leaf
I hope you don't drop me
When the realisation comes
Creeping in

And I was falling,
So fast
Reducing constantly
To become nothing

And I was barely breathing
A heart forced to beat
Eyes bloodshot
But you could not see

And you were blinded
From the self-despair and pity
A heart
Torn and stomped all over

And you were shaking
From the tremors
only You could feel
But I could not steady your hands

I was waiting for you to save me,
I forgot magic only happens when you least expect it
You were waiting for me to notice
You forgot I was too caught up fighting my own battles

You were bitter
Over the times I had let you go
You forgot
I loved you w every ounce of my being
I was broken
Over the times you did not care enough
I forgot
You are a human with your own limits

And so we fell apart
In the most common ways
We forgot what we had
Because we were too busy grieving what the other person lacked

And now that the end is near
I see where we went wrong
I loved you and you loved me
But love
is almost never enough

And I got my wish
With my last breath I took your name
The earth shook,the sky turned black,
This is my last farewell
I'll never see you again

I hope that
When she finally says yes
And the thrill of pursuing ends
You sigh
And twist and turn in your bed
Allowing yourself to accept
She will never love you
Like I can

I hope
When she finally holds your hand,
With a dull pain in your heart
That slowly transfers through your veins
And spreads to every joints, every cell
You realise
She'll never appreciate your warmth
Like I can

I hope
When she finally kisses you,
In that moment of heavenly bliss,
Your body pulls back alarmed
The love, the breathlessness you got used to
Is no longer there
She will never crave for you
Like I can

I hope
When she reads her favorite poetry to you
You wonder if it is Still you
Who I'm writing about
And with a reluctance your mind realises
She can not lure you into traps with her words
Not like I can

I hope
When you look into those eyes
Their color similar to yours
But not even a pale representation of the feelings mine held
Oh boy,
Maybe you'll carry this burden with you
In your grave
Cause she will never love you
Like I can

Would I still be me
If I did not have
These fancy words to bleed

I'm the pebbles in my pocket
That keeps me drowning
Farther into depth
I'm the frigging rescue boat too
And I'm yet learning
how to deal with that

I like to sit and watch
The world
Never bothering to participate
I like to live in my past
And wish on the stars
That are long dead


would I still be me
If I did not have
these fancy words to bleed

I'm the only cloud in my own sky
Blotting a perfect view.
I'm the blazing sun too.
And I'm trying to learn how
To take responsibility
If It rains down on me

I like to dodge away
All these sad incidences
I turn them into art, When they hit me
I like to use my words
To guide me out of my own head; It's the only time i make sense to myself


Would I still be me
If I did not have
these fancy words to bleed?

I'm the lonely dandelion
Having myself blown away
To the ten directions
I'm the wind too
Challenging everything that
Gets in my way

I like to look at the trees
I like to have the wind whisper my name
I would like to be you
I would like to be him
Without ever losing the essence
Of my true self


Would I still be me
If I did not have
these fancy words to bleed

Would it be a cliché
If I say
the element
Of my nightmares
Is mostly her in your arms

Would it be a cliche
If I tell
You made a house
In my thoughts,
A permanent occupant.

Would it be a cliche
If I admit
The first light of day
Seems so heavy on my brows,
Without having you to wake up to.

Would it be a cliché
If I confess
You are the only one I can write about,
My words have a way of evolving
Themselves around you

Would it be a cliche
If my heart aches
At the way you say her name
You voice so gentle, barely concealing
The longings you have.

Would it be a cliche
If I say
The main element
Of my nightmares
Is her in your arms

His eyes,
Blacker than the darkest
Midnight sky,
Might just save
My black heart.

His lips,
The gentle shade
Of a rose bud,
Is the reason why
I have "attention deficit" disorder

His smile
Just like the sun light
Breaking through the mist of
Doubts and lies
Guides me

His innocence
A glimpse of which
I find in every toddler's smile
Reminds me
To save mine

He is not
the guy I expected myself to be with
But he is the reason that keeps me
From flying too close
To the sun

His mind
Does not get most of my
metaphoric reference
But his hand holds mine
And steadies my shaky foundation

And maybe if you just hang in there
You'll see You did not get
what you want Cause
some greater  possiblilty out there is seeking you

2 am
Knows all about us-
The love that was once lost
And how we found it
Just to lose it all over again.

I wonder what people think
When they read my poems
Do they think I'm just another
Case of unrequited love?
Oh, I am definitely not.

I just read this story
Of a girl who loved a guy so much
She turned into a bird
And sang such sad songs
The guy's bride heart broke and she died

2am
Knows all about my conspirational plans
I make with the stars
How what should be mine, what I love
I mean to ****** away from this world

This is
Not a poem about unrequited love
But distance
And the society that smirks upon
The lovers sighing in solitude

I just read this story
About this girl
How she loved a guy
Who did not love her back and
how that killed her bit by bit every moment

2m knows
How I wish I was in her situation
I could have loved him
And loved him and loved him
until I did not

But the guy I love
Is right now crying himself to sleep
Because he finally found love
But not where he expected it to be
Miles away, away from his reach

His love is true, her love is ever growing
But like every star crossed lovers
They have an inevitable tragic ending
But there is so much art in
an ending like this

2am
knows how the empty side of my bed whispers his name
"Close your eyes darling, in your dreams
I'll always be yours, forever and more"

I say your name like it was the only reason I was given this ability to speak
I write about you as if the whole world is nothing but ashes and you are the burning passion I can't resist
I talk about you as if I was born with you as a language on my tongue
I search for you as if I am the feelings and you are the only one who can transform them into words
I long for you as if You are the first drop of rain after years and years of drought
I look at you as if you are the one star I need to complete my constellation

Tell them about the time you spent your day looking for a rock to live under, tell them how your soul seeks an understanding that is nowhere to be seen in his eyes.
Tell them about the time you stuttered while talking to the guests your mum invited
How you kept wanting to say sorry cause that Is the only emotion you ever feel these days
Tell them about the time you laid on your bed all alone
Seeing nightmares with open eyes
Tell them how everyone that left and everything you love
Comes back to haunt you every night
Tell me how you stopped talking to your friends
To avoid their snap out of its
Tell them about that one time your teacher asked you where do you see yourself in 10 years and
You imagined yourself rotting in an abandoned house
Tell them how you feel like an abandoned house; a graveyard where people come and bury their broken dreams and forget to re-visit
Tell them how you try to give everyone what they want and at the end of the day when you are alone
You just don't know who you are or who you want to be
Tell them how you can't remember how or why it went this bad
But only that no one helped you prevent it
Tell them how the only thing you can do from falling apart is
Write these gibberish talks
Tell them how you wonder if you are that good at putting a facade
Or the number of damns they give is dwindling
Tell them how you think it is the later
Tell them how you feel so hopeless when you hear your parents talk about what is wrong with you
Tell them how you think you doomed them by walking into their lives
Tell them how what once was can never be that way again
And how every time the wind blows you feel it tearing you apart at the very seams of your being
Tell them how you are more cracks than skin
And how
Everything they say
Or everything you had drained out
Now you are just a void.

The brown of your eyes
Became my favorite shade
A familiar place
But I'm no longer the one they behold
So goodbye to them

Those pink lips that you have got
Perfectly shaped
Complimenting your light skin so well
But I'm no longer the name they seek
So goodbye to them

The heart beats fluttering so fast
Sweet lullaby
Keeping the nightmares away
But I'm no longer the sight they dance at
So goodbye to them

The long fingers of your hand
Intertwined with mine
Made the strangers stares seem less hostile
But I'm no longer the person they reach out to
So goodbye to them

The warm smiles of yours
Imprinted on my mind
Spreading across my face
But I'm no longer the reason behind it
So good bye to them



I wish
We had met up in sky
Far from the boundaries of this world
I would be yours, you would be mine
Our shadows merging into one

But

Now I have learnt
There is a bridge too large,
A boundary too long
For either of us to bridge
So I'll love you from a far

With an intensity of
Million burning stars
Much more than she is ever capable of
But nothing can change the fact
I'll never be with you.

Kiss me
Cause I'm sure
The stars would taste better
Shine brighter
On the tip of my tongue
And baby, you are the whole galaxy

Hold me
Cause I'm sure
Only your touch has the fire
To keep me from freezing
And baby, our bodies are the only heating appliances I'll ever need

Breathe me
Cause I'm sure
I could be more addictive
Than any drug you'll ever inhale
And baby, let us give our touch receptors the sensation of their lives

You could not help but fall for her
Despite warnings from every cell of your brain
You could not contain
Your curiosity
How could someone be
Different shades of different emotions
At the same time
How could someone go
From being the blazing sun
To a violent storm
In the blink of an eye
And that was the trouble with her
You could not tell the next thing she does
And there were many with a prettier face than her
And a few with soul more tender
But none that could stir
A single emotion
While
One look from her
Caused ripples in your soul
The longing she developed
Became insatiable
Cause she was not the caresses and soft kisses sort
She would make sure you meant
Every compliment you uttered
Before she accepted them
She would ask why
You loved her
Instead of saying I love you too
She was never just simply pretty
You know the kind you put on your shelves
For a show
She was not just one element
but the whole package
Something you had never witnessed before
She had fire
Her  feelings weaved silent poetry
All around her
And everyone who saw her could see that
Everyone but herself
Her thoughts were too loud
-loud enough to make the deaf-toned world hear them
She was reckless personified
Descending towards nothing
And you would gladly go down with her
If it only gave you  few more moments to have her look into your eyes
Black eyes
Not seeing at you
But through you
Making you unravel yourself
She could not be bound to a place
She was the wind
that ruffles your hair
caresses your skin
and sweeps your tears off your cheeks
and fly away
just like that
leaving you fixated
on that spot
waiting for her to hit you again
but she is already gone
You never wanted to love her
Yet here you are
Loving her anyway.