You ask me
To snap out if it
Like it's a choice
Like I'm hurting
By desire
And not a compulsion
Fate has
Bound me with

You cry
For all these materialistic things
Your teeth have gaps
And you had to get it fixed
I cry
Because I have seen a mother
Trying to get through
Her son's epileptic brain
And let him know
She loves him.

You say you know
The pain I must feel
But can you
Can you really?
I remember all the times you were there
But I also remember the majority of nights
When you were not

I had to battle alone
All those days
Darker than most of the nights
You were busy
Getting laid

my issues
Were downplayed
And I was blamed
To be the one
Eclipsing your happiness
And I apologised
Who needs razor blades
Your words
Make deeper cuts
And no one can even see the harm

I was fine before
Always Maintaining my distance
As if the plague inside me
Will create havoc
The moment I
Get near a happy soul
I'll infect them
With the misery
That I am

But you were different
You gave me hope
You showed me there was another way
And just like that
I thought I was saved
But I was not
The flood came
When I was fully assured
You were the life boat
And you were gone.


You were an illusion
I mistook for pure magic
You were the toxicant
I hoped would cure me
You gave me hope
Only to ****** it
Away from me
And the walk back home
All alone
Has never felt this lonely

Why did you hold my hand
Only to let me go
Why did you give me shelter
Only to kick me out
When I get used to the warmth
Why did you assure me
You'll be here
When that was never the part of your plan

And now I look at the mother of epileptic kid
Whose pain lasted longer
Than she ever will
Her eyes have lost their light
She is oblivious to my hands
Holding hers
Don't you dare tell me
It gets better
Cause it never does