I took care to leave my heart home
I came over to your place
Stuffed with naive harmless thoughts
Were soon to be replaced

Your mind focused on one thing
You didn't let it show
You were a perfect gentleman
Letting tension grow

I bit lip with nervous teeth
You let me play song after song
Waited hours to make a move
Wondered what took you so long

I took care to leave emotions behind
Set on resisting temptation
Soon as we found ourselves alone together
Couldn't stop at just flirtation

You said
"No harm in cuddling"
I cannot put the blame on you
I am the one who nodded in agreement
Put arms around your body too

My poor senses never stood a chance
Never saw our collision coming
Forgot to release frustration prior
To seduction ended up succumbing

My mouth missed texture of flesh
Salty taste of skin
Had no idea how sweet the rush would be
Intoxicating adrenaline

It has been several months with no pleasure
Physical or otherwise
Out of the blue you appear
Was not ready for that surprise

Now you keep entering my skull
Throughout the day
Took care to leave my feelings at my house
Lust refused to stay

How do you do this to me?
All these years
Ditched me in my weakest hour
To face greatest fears

Let me make simple
Easy to understand
Swear this is the last time
I will allow you to have the upper hand

Me and damaged self-esteem
Fare just fine on my own
Better off without you
Even if staying forever alone

Never did I expect treason
Betrayal comes as a surprise
Stupidity is to blame for that
Consistently fed me lies

Fall apart in absence
Your touch is just as bad
Although it heals me
Behavior drives me mad

Think you come back around
Waste your time on me
Finally caught on to your ****** up games
It took so long to see

You say you are truly different now
Like a hundred times before
For some reason reality's clicked
I don't believe you anymore

Something you never admit
Could change if you wanted to
Sadly you enjoy the circus you live
Growing up is the one thing you'll never do

If you want
Go separate ways
Reach goals on your own
All you must do is say
I'll leave you alone

Greatness you are looking for
Now will be yours to pursue
Obviously you don't care anymore
Stop pretending you do

I feel arms around me in my dreams

Rippling beneath spotted fuchsia skies

The complexity
The composition of our chemical connection

Mind blown
The sheer splendor shown in each precise part of your precious presence
Magnetic matter mobilizing my concentration
Coaxing it your direction

Hands softening
They brush against your supple skin

Around shadow sparks dance
Visible in this impossible location

How your voice bounces off distant cliffs surrounding idyllic scene and returns to our ears like a boomerang navigating life's course home

On page are words captivating your attention you wouldn't bother to read in reality

Each breath inhaled for you

In silent regard
Sense this

You come closer
Turn your view to my body instead

To discover freely without intervention is all I truly desire

The pallete of colors world is painted in was chosen from the richest pigments fiction could manifest

Constructed in cranium with magical building materials

Touch the highlights of physical being

Fantasy far away as fairytales
Nearer than my own name

Every thought of you I doze is a seed that blooms into paradise

Why did you toss me out the back door like yesterday's trash?

Sweet moments swiftly kicked far from your life without a second look or thought

Something innocent at first grew to be such a ****** excuse for a relationship

You cannot ever undo your mistake

I will never let anybody else throw my love away ever again

Just seconds until end of mankind
Heart beats even faster
Millions of thoughts race through my mind
No signs of slowing down disaster

Give an explanation for the lies that you tell
Drinking in the ******* cause you do it too well
And I find a way to get to the point I need to reach
I want to learn the lesson pain is trying to teach
And I will not give up on all the time I was with you
Many songs I wrote for us without intending to
I wish I was inspired
A new muse instead
These words paint your face cause it's stuck in my head
I have attempted to take your picture down but can't seem to make it move
Sinking into inky sea of love I can't remove
In tears I drown my pain and flood this whole **** place
Can't produce enough liquid to fill this empty space

Do not look back at where you've been when you can gaze at sights located where you're at
Right here
The present

Look forward to transformation

History happening every single day

Happy New Year's
It is yours for the taking

Someone asked what YOU do for me
The answer was something they'd never see
You never ask me questions like that
Just to start
Love how you aren't determined to drive me and my family apart
Looked downward and replied
"You would not understand"
Mentally counted reasons silently on my hand
I used to stick up for you and argue
Now I realize they'll never see my point of view
If trying they just mock me while I turn bright red
I no longer bother
Reminding myself instead

Accepting me the way that I am
Work your hardest to see me smile however you can
Remembering things I have said in passing long ago
Talk because you listen
Even when info you already know
Repeating same story you have heard a hundred times
You see it makes me happy
Don't even mind
The person who makes me feel comfortable in my own skin
Believing I'm beautiful no matter how fat or thin
Who sees me at my best and has been there for me at my worst
Despite having your own problems
Put mine first
You encourage to be the very best that I can be
Show me things you love when none of them I see
You look at me with the same warmth as the day we met
As if I'm not completely ruined yet
You have more faith in me than I have in myself most of the time
Regardless of everything
Are proud I call you mine

Though I have made so many mistakes in the past
Around you seems like the suffering won't last

If only this was guaranteed,
And everyone would get a happy ending,
Then maybe everything could be easier.
But I don't know what will happen,
Or if it will work out between anyone.
So I'm taking it day by day,
And thinking about you night after night.

Breaking one piece at a time
Use them to build a wall too tall to climb
Again build defenses surrounding my heart
You ******* a kiss and armor falls apart
I will get extra locks to secure the front door
Never enough
Always need more
No security measure too extreme or strong
Around you they don't seem to last long
The protection effect you somehow render obsolete
Most advanced shield useless at your feet
Making steel and iron look like fences of paper cards
You waltz right through the entrance to the center of what it guards
No material immune to your touch
What that means for me is that I care way too much
You have wrapped around your finger from the moment you stroll in
An air of confidence that yells
"Do not even try. You'll never win!"
As you flash an easy smile
Wink one baby blue
Left with the realization there is nothing I can do
You sweep me off my feet faster than a witches broom can fly
Makes no difference if I look away or directly in your eye
You know to disarm any weapon I produce
Has taken half a lifetime to figure out there is no use
But maybe the trick is not to defend love at all
I'll attempt to embrace emotion and fall
And be on offense for the first time since I was broken
No more hiding a veil of words unspoken
I will make you see why I have been so afraid to connect
I was hesitant to let down high walls mistakes *****
Everything that is safe
Completely free from risk of danger
Also lacking luster

Sorry took so much time to open up and let you see
It turns out you not only understand
You are a part of me