I'm certain
That your rib cage is hollow,
And your heart
Is misplaced on your tongue.
I know that the light
That shines in your eyes
Isn't the same
As the one in the sky,
And I can't decide
Which is brighter.

You make it impossible to fall asleep
And agonizing to stay awake.
Every miserable moment that passes
Helps me to understand
That I'm no closer to finding out
Where you've gone
Than I am to finding my voice.

Gin-fueled hunger struck
I stumbled to the kitchen
Fumbling for satisfaction
Yet found myself
******* utensils instead
Peripheral glimmer seized me
I separated chef knife
From stone block
With righteous appetite
Like King Arthur
Oh, how I pictured
What it might be like
To plunge steel beast
Through hollow stomach
Tempt it to twist and saunter
Through tired spine
Would I feel pain
Succeeding shock?
Or would my skin sigh relief
Delighted to release
Pressure seething beneath?

I am still hungry

Do you remember December?
How the cold made my hands tremor?
Or how it made your scent linger?
We used lips to warm fingers.
Or the whining of the wind?
With every light dimmed?
I yearned for your skin.
Our smiles felt endless
And I was left breathless.

I succumbed to the plea
In those lovely brown eyes
Not because I'm lonely
Or afraid of goodbyes
But because I've known valleys
And with you, I'm so high
Once concealed by the shadows
Now embraced by the sky

You wear your pain on your arm
Like a hideous scar
There's something about the way
It shines under the stars
Beckoning to me
To please grab hold
To tear open the skin
And leave it exposed

The time I wasted on you
Never felt wasted
At the time.
And if courage
Is what makes a man
You are a child
And I am not ready
To be a mother.
My arms are too weak
To lift you up
When you're already
So high.
And I'm afraid
I'll have to leave you
With your games
Because I am too old
To play.

You kissed my eyes shut
And laid me to sleep,
Now this landfill of hope
Is a wasteland of dreams.

Listen, I'm drunk
So disregard what I'm saying
But after the night you said goodbye
The sun hasn't risen since.

If only pain were tangible
So I could grab it by the throat
As it has done to me
Time and time again