"stubbornness" poems
the hardest thing i do as a disabled person
is not
"fight my disability"
we were never at war with one another
like me, it just wants to exist
and so i let it
to some extent
i’ll never “become my disability”
yet i don’t believe it’s a bad thing either
i’ve come to realise that he’s become a part of me
as he’s helped shape my thinking
and maybe even my personality a little bit
i owe all my stubbornness to him
nah
i don’t fight my disability
we’re bffs
the hardest thing i do as a disabled person
is not
"get up every day"
though for a while, i thought it was
getting up is easy
facing the world?
getting easier
i used to blush at the thought of getting a wheelchair
i’d bury my face in my knees and cover my ears with my hands, thinking that if i couldn’t see it or hear it, i wouldn’t need it
i cared too much of what society would see me as
not “normal teenage girl”
"sad confined possibly a teenage girl?"
normal is overrated
and to be honest?
so is society
the hardest thing i do as a disabled person
is not
pretending i’m okay with mainstreaming
dear teachers, “mainstreaming” was never in my vocabulary
pretending?
pfft dear teachers, this is 100% real contentment
IEPs got some getting used to but after 16 years of endless doctors appointments, people in white sterile coats, plastic latex gloves poking, prodding demanding things of me
"mainstreaming"
won’t ever exist in my vocabulary
i know i’m smart
and i know i can do it
so don’t you DARE cry at my graduation
it’d be pretty pathetic if i believed in myself more than you do
the hardest thing i do as a disabled person
is
accepting the realities
i don’t know when i’ll take my last step
i don’t know when my muscles will give out for good
i know that every day i won’t know what’s right in front of me
i know that i’ll never be able to run another mile in my life
and i know that i won’t ever stop dreaming about the things i wish i could do
would love to do
won’t ever do
might do
one day
Dec 28, 2014
Dec 28, 2014 at 10:50 PM UTC
I thought I could trust you
With my hopes
My dreams
Secrets
But no
You turned them against me
Told the words I whispered
Cried and shouted
Spoken in
Confidence
With one single note
You have betrayed me
Hurt me
Wounded
Cutting
Deeper than any flesh wound
Now because of your childish pride
And your stubbornness
It is I who is being punished
Who has to live with your mistakes
You have cost me
More than you know
You’ve been banished from my parent’s lives
Not that I really blame them
For all the harm you’ve brought
them
Now that damage
Has carried on to me
And I have to live with it
You can go on your merry way
Having nothing to do with them
But I do
Because of you I can never
Have a celebration
A party
All of that is now gone
My graduation
Forget it
You’re no longer invited
My parent’s don’t want you in their home
Remember I said that
I wanted you to be my maid of
honor
Forget that too
Because of your selflessness
I have to live with the consequences
Even when I have done nothing
Wrong
Now because of you
my trust is
Lost
Dec 27, 2012
Dec 27, 2012 at 2:38 AM UTC
In the rectory garden on his evening walk
Paced brisk Father Shawn. A cold day, a sodden one it was
In black November. After a sliding rain
Dew stood in chill sweat on each stalk,
Each thorn; spiring from wet earth, a blue haze
Hung caught in dark-webbed branches like a fabulous heron.
Hauled sudden from solitude,
Hair prickling on his head,
Father Shawn perceived a ghost
Shaping itself from that mist.
'How now,' Father Shawn crisply addressed the ghost
Wavering there, gauze-edged, smelling of woodsmoke,
'What manner of business are you on?
From your blue pallor, I'd say you inhabited the frozen waste
Of hell, and not the fiery part. Yet to judge by that dazzled look,
That noble mien, perhaps you've late quitted heaven?'
In voice furred with frost,
Ghost said to priest:
'Neither of those countries do I frequent:
Earth is my haunt.'
'Come, come,' Father Shawn gave an impatient shrug,
'I don't ask you to spin some ridiculous fable
Of gilded harps or gnawing fire: simply tell
After your life's end, what just epilogue
God ordained to follow up your days. Is it such trouble
To satisfy the questions of a curious old fool?'
'In life, love gnawed my skin
To this white bone;
What love did then, love does now:
Gnaws me through.'
'What love,' asked Father Shawn, 'but too great love
Of flawed earth-flesh could cause this sorry pass?
Some ****** condition you are in:
Thinking never to have left the world, you grieve
As though alive, shriveling in torment thus
To atone as shade for sin that lured blind man.'
'The day of doom
Is not yest come.
Until that time
A crock of dust is my dear hom.'
'Fond phantom,' cried shocked Father Shawn,
'Can there be such stubbornness--
A soul grown feverish, clutching its dead body-tree
Like a last storm-crossed leaf? Best get you gone
To judgment in a higher court of grace.
Repent, depart, before God's trump-crack splits the sky.'
From that pale mist
Ghost swore to priest:
'There sits no higher court
Than man's red heart.'
7.7k
a goat encounters a lion. normally the lion sees the goat as food. instead The Lion offers shelter warmth theo goat offered protection awkward that a four-legged hooved animal could protect the queen of the jungle protection together they stood both natural leaders both immature in the ways at the time neither wanted to back down from the other but that's what made it work despite the goats dexterity and natural stubbornness in his ways the lion SAT and ate with the goat. years and years they feast upon the golden ducks they collected at the rivers which they traveled odd as combination is professionals know that that is not even a combination amongst the food chain but fore a while they dined peacefully. the lion roared bloodthirsty the goat while being the loner the leader willfully back down from the lion scenario has a goat beat a lion. The goat couldn't bear the lion parting ways the goat be that as it may just wanted his own way but the goat has to learn sometimes the best win is to back off not every wall is meant to be broken especially that of a lion and her pride so the lion beautiful as ever smirked as if we were the prey and the goat knowingly put his head inside her mouth I'll let you tell it
Mar 18, 2015
Mar 18, 2015 at 1:16 PM UTC
the friction of my selfish stubbornness
colliding with your personality
is nothing compared
to
the speed at which you always
send my heart slamming into my
fractured ribs.
just enough to remind me
of the laws of attraction and
how my mind accelerates
and crashes
and how you always have enough
force to save me from the edge of the map
Nov 21, 2013
Nov 21, 2013 at 1:14 PM UTC
You, my love, are amazing.
Your laugh is like a sweet candy for the ears.
Your smile melts my heart.
When you look at me, i can only stare at what i want to be.
What i have always dreamed of having.
When you call me "Boo" or "Babygirl" all i can think of is how you have chosen me
me
to be your lover,
your partner
the one to show your love to.
im amazed at your beauty
by your stubbornness.
And i love every piece of it.
I love you baby
May 15, 2015
May 15, 2015 at 5:49 PM UTC
How many are there
That can quietly put up with death
Stoically going through the pain
A stubbornness to make death envious
Of life and the living!
How many are there
That can count up to end
Breathes where others see death
Holds on when there seems nothing to hold onto
As if to tell, ‘life is no pity, it’s dignity’!
Jul 16, 2013
Jul 16, 2013 at 6:11 AM UTC
All she wanted was to
cry her heart out
but her stubbornness
never allowed her
to shed a single tear
so she changed
her eyes turned into
deep blue oceans
holding their stroms with in
appearing so calm and smooth
her saltish smile
sweeter than honey
never reached her eyes
anymore
her laughter was like
waves smashing
against a glass wall
she reeked sadness
intoxicating millions hearts
who dared to inhale her scent
she was a broken witch
yet they were all under her
everlasting spell !!
Aug 25, 2015
Aug 25, 2015 at 1:39 AM UTC
Bouncing down the tall stairs
Hazel eyes and short blonde hair
Daughter, the first of two
She looked up to you
Mama’s girl was so small
Not like her dad at all
Daddy liked to fish, hunt and hike
Kayak, canoe and mountain bike
She liked all the little girl things
Barbies, crayons and trampolines
Today I sit in your old kayak and gear
And think about us as if you were still here
I wish we could do all these things together
Now we’re the same, but you never got better
In and out of hospitals all the time
Still we all thought that you would be just fine
No answers, no cure and little treatment
But you had hope in the discouragement
Time has passed and you’ve been missed greatly
I realize now just how much you gave me
Your stubbornness, determination and drive
Your deep love and passion of all things outside
Dad, so many things we could do
I want to be back there with you
On the water with that kayak
But nothing will bring those days back
So many things you’ll miss
Stories of my first kiss
Frightening my prom date
Seeing me graduate
Walking me down the aisle
Tearing up all the while
Dad, you are loved and you are missed.
Jul 23, 2014
Jul 23, 2014 at 4:28 PM UTC
I was taught that being stubborn
is a virtue that every young boy should have,
that to decide how you govern
your life and your path.
I was taught that being stubborn
is simply a way to be,
that wanting and yearning
provided my journey's fee.
I was taught that being stubborn
was a sign of respect, of pride.
Unlearn all that'd been thought
and learn all from inside.
I was taught that being stubborn
would create a wall around me,
a nocturne of darkness
for which only i could see.
Now i am alone, all stubborn and virtuous
wishing for a chance.
but this disease is cure-less
Through no other circumstance.
Jun 5, 2016
Jun 5, 2016 at 5:29 AM UTC
Bear with me, Smile.
Let me cling to this denial.
Nov 4, 2015
Nov 4, 2015 at 2:03 AM UTC
And you left me like a baby flower choking
On dust, and loss of future blooming,
And tremors like Eos's tears
On the stillest vernal pool -
It was as if you stole my life and simply
Went - or put me on my little sailboat
That sang of youth and an hourglass, a
Duet composed in the ***** crystal of purgatory,
Between my insatiably wild stronghold and
The rosy maiden, blushing, full, yet
Dumb, willingly deaf to red flags,
Praying for a partner to make a golden
Lady of the wood and water
And light, so warm and shimmering under
The forest's pine-down cover - what a
Big, hasty mistake, to keep yourself
Hollow and blind to the day's good things, to remain a
Man alone, wistfully misplacing a love
Who showed the loyalty of a crimson kindness, and who
Was always singing bliss and beauty and glowing into your ears,
So stuffed with lies, bitterness, ideals, and
Full like drunken leeches - all this, and the coldness, the stubbornness
Of the oldest mule, to stay isolated from my
Loving eyes, to make time with our sorrowful
Echoes, yours and mine.
*vertical quote from Kurt Vonnegut's Slaughterhouse-Five
Jul 2, 2013
Jul 2, 2013 at 10:26 AM UTC
I am stubborn.
I will admit that.
I hate being stubborn.
You know why?
Because once I realize that being stubborn has gotten me nowhere-
I break down....
I am have pride-
Not much
But it's there.
And when I lose that pride.
Either someone breaks it
Or I realize that I was wrong.
And I cry.
I cry.......
May 6, 2014
May 6, 2014 at 5:03 PM UTC
Our love was and will always be my favorite story cause he loved with a love that was more than love. Far greater and deeper than any man could ever love a woman such as herself. She was wild and unruly and quite stubborn. Although his young spirit and stubbornness matched hers, she couldn't help, but be pleased at the way he just understood her. Even when she wore her masks for the world, he knew the real one, the one she took off for only him to see. He knew what she was and still loved her, even when she doubted herself. Yet there were moments where she came alive and had such a confidence that could handle any and all situations. The way she could talk to anyone who crossed her path with such charm and flair. His way of life encouraged her to be equal as him and respected as so. Their love was unlike any other, they respected one another and it showed. He was and she was the best they ever had. They didn't need the world to see their moments of chaos they were private in that sense. They never talked bad about one another those discussions were behind closed doors. You could only get a glimpse into what true love looked like. What made them? Them? How he loved and tamed her at times? He proved over and over to her that he only loved her. He only looked for her, he only ever thought about her. The way she kept him always wanting and needing more of her. It was a love shared on common ground. Not full of misery and destruction that's never fully able to recover, no their love was better than that. Far greater than that. They had this bond that they shared and both understood their places when together and around others. Almost like this unbreakable force that held them tightly together by their unspoken love.
Yes! This was why it would always be my favorite love story because it was theirs.
Jul 28, 2015
Jul 28, 2015 at 5:47 PM UTC
You my friend
Mistake stubbornness
For Strength
Dec 15, 2014
Dec 15, 2014 at 2:38 PM UTC
I was the architect of my own fall.
It had been easier to open my hands helplessly
than to clench fists against bullet-scarred walls.
Transgression: naivety in passivity.
Penance: the loss of trust
that I could shine with my own pure light.
I withdrew, leaving behind the space I had carved.
I hid, healing myself in silence,
for in that place, dreams were safer.
Hunger remained hunger,
longing remained longing.
I chose to carry guilt myself
rather than admit that I had been broken:
the stubbornness of a frayed razor
that could not cut through the page.
I was the builder of my suffering
by my own will, seeing the glow in others.
I was warm water,
shimmering in a thousand drops.
The world didn’t end.
The sun stayed, the wind still blew,
and the trees stretched out their arms to me.
Everything that came after was easier,
no longer hurting so much.
I am sitting on a bench in the gold-red park,
watching the leaves, watching this life,
which, in my mind, was different months ago.
But this time I take my face in my hands,
with tenderness to myself,
rebuilding my home, my place.
I know I always deserved it.
Sep 27, 2025
Sep 27, 2025 at 3:29 PM UTC
Softly and steadily we munch
A roller motion action
As we gently pass over
Living in a contented silence
Randomly we each call
Hollow pipes we are played
By the holy organist
As life plays its tune
Understood be very few
As we submit to the herd
And spiral around a oneness
Mooing and mooing
With a great gusto
We send out O's
circles spiraling
Softly blowing bubbles
With an oily shine
We are carried forward
In these bulbs of light
Air filled with vibration
Caressing and holding
Our community with
An invisible film
As we all feel this
Light headed embrace
And the golden ring of community
Is placed on our finger
We say "YES YES YES "
For we love her very much
Living free of hierarchy
As everyone is equal
Servant and master
Divorced from the conflicting
Ties of politics
We are as level and free as
The planes from which we graze
Living a freedom faraway from
Rank and power
And enjoy the vast out stretching
Places where our hearts unburdened
By mountains unfold into unlimited spaces
Collapsing within each breath
We spread our Love with the ease
Of melting butter in the African sun
Far and wide
In the mating season
We may bumble around
Like bumper cars
As you can not underestimate
The force of each individual
As we bang and bang our way
Through life until opportunity knocks
Until life says yes
As our our stubbornness
Is not just the perfect No
But the perfect Yes to
And mothers reward our newborns
With her loving milk
The perfect colostrum
A silky bliss
In the expansive community
Of wildebeest and cattle
Where endless love
Can spread like water
We can learn so very much
Dec 14, 2014
Dec 14, 2014 at 7:09 AM UTC
i want to eat you
let no one else have you
tie you to my bedpost
and leave the house for the whole day
uneventful day graces
what might one say when all
the cookies are gone
make merry with marrow narrowness
the slave’s in my bedroom with
window blinds open for all to see
in shocking stark gestures
and through showering trees
my dear, where has all the poetry gone
i might answer, where the cookies
and love went, the stubbornness
of push and shove, you speak when i say you can
beg when i want you to
Apr 19, 2018
Apr 19, 2018 at 2:40 AM UTC
oh the unholy chores of my withered lord
of my remorseless discord
must stop the hordes as though an indian from the cupboard
smothered
in the rugged stubbornness of my hellacious mischief and deviance
sounding out the ingredients of my grievances and disobedience
patient expediance.
Jul 5, 2012
Jul 5, 2012 at 6:49 PM UTC
i might be turning into my mother.
after all,
i have her straight nose
and her broad bones
her stubbornness to
*hold on to the truths you know
and the lies you don't.*
i might be turning into my father.
after all,
i have his brown eyes
and his quick mind
his readiness to
leave things behind and *let the road
unfold like twine.*
Apr 14, 2013
Apr 14, 2013 at 7:27 PM UTC
I am strong. I am not resilient. Whatever i do, whatever i endure and suffer, chips away at me little by little,
I never come out of an experience the same way i went in.
In the love, hate, lust, hurt, worry, helplessness, hopelessness and pain,
I feel weak,
I am never the same, it all takes a piece of me.
People think i am weak, because i let them take me away,
I let the experience eat me away.
But they are wrong.
In all of it, I am still alive, I keep fighting, I go under and up, in and out,
No matter what happens and where it takes me, I never give up.
I guess that's where my strength lies: in my stubbornness.
I may not be the same person I was
yesterday,
And today I am in pain,
I won't let up on the dreams of tomorrow.
May 10, 2014
May 10, 2014 at 1:45 PM UTC
I'm lost at the
red light of confusion
in between my life,
my mind, the world and me
determined stubbornness
holds anxiety in my heart
right now I'm wondering
of all the secrets I've never told
there are so many secrets
forgotten secrets that whispers
the tales of the chilled soul
that others can not see
Apr 17, 2015
Apr 17, 2015 at 2:21 PM UTC
Its another sleepless night, and i'm trying to figure out what i'm doing with my life, again. I'm often short of breath, lost in my thoughts. In a sea of darkness. I'm running through this maze of pain, I've been told that I would never get out by myself. My stubbornness has taken me further in this maze than I have ever gone, I’ve usually blacked out by now, screamed by now, cried by now. Ive been lost for too long and I will not give up today. Its getting hard to breathe even when i'm outside, Its getting hard to see, even if the sun might be shinning, theres always a cloud right above me. I'm tired and by myself. I feel like these walls have started to cave in on me, these last couple months the cloud above me has been pouring, and this maze is filling up with water, its getting hard to breathe again, and ive forgotten how to swim. Every turn gets darker and looking back holds nothing for me. I wish someone was trying to find me, I keep hearing screams, but none hold my name. I use to be woken up every morning by the sun, but this cloud doesn't leave. I keep running through this maze and still have not found an exit. I keep running through these paths filled with pictures of familiar faces, dont be angry when I scream that I'm trying to leave them before they leave me. I stumble into a room of mirrors, the only good thing about this cloud is that it makes it hard to see my reflections, but I need to face me, see me. Try and understand that i'm not crazy when I say how much I hate me! Maybe its a lack in faith, but in all honesty its a lack in me. I keep running into my grandfather’s empty house in this disgusting maze. Its been left abandon and collapsing. That once beautiful house, has been broken into, robbed of all its joy. How could this amazing place that was filled with great memories for me be here. But the door was broken down from the inside, the glass from the windows lay outside his house. That house is now behind him, it no longer holds anything for him, I’m sorry if one day you pass by and see my house collapsing, but it’s because I finally found the exit to this maze.
4/25/15
Apr 26, 2015
Apr 26, 2015 at 12:33 AM UTC
Generations pass as autonomy eludes us denying us the opportunity
to reach for liberality.
Indifference, being a predecessor, digs shallow graves in so many ways,
Watching heritage that once was become something uncanny,
Unrecognizably lingering; lifeless.
Racial force fields, forces fields of incarcerated thoughts to take root,
Keeping us from seeing beyond ourselves,
and
The barriers built to keep those out,
only keep us,
from letting us, to allow others in,
and trust is placed on trial,
looking at a life sentence of death, unaware of its opportunity
to freely avail or elude it’s predicament.
If only it would appeal to the counsel of the majority.
Stubbornness sometimes refuses to embrace what we know needs to
be confronted in order to bring about change,
unifying an outside world
where life is not always fair and those around us calculate thoughts to hinder our progression.
We live in a place of democracy and disdain where street corner pharmaceuticals
****** the weary,
where adolescent girls are forced to become
teenage mothers or prostitutes,
where empty baseball diamonds and dugouts
are replaced by thick scaling barb wired walls and gray barred cells,
where young men and women trade their age multiplied for the number they will where in a system for life, and
where the sound of a crying disappointed child is exchanged for anger and abuse,
in the absence of a father or mother figure,
figuratively disfigured and lost in translation;
an abandonment of generations past.
Who will lead and guide us?
Who will plead and advocate on our behalf?
Who will stand in the gap?
Who will lead us past the captive mind to captivate hearts?
Who will provide the keys to unlock and break us free?
Free from the broken barriers that divide us?
~
Aug 18, 2013
Aug 18, 2013 at 7:55 PM UTC