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"repainted" poems
He wore a purple knitted cap. He had a carrot nose This snowman figurine wore skates with black buttons on his clothes. His cheeks were daubed a cherry red His bootless feet looked cold. His smiling was perpetual His was a hopeful soul. Yet now he lay out near the curb He was destined for the trash His mistress found a figurine that had a bit more flash. He looked back sadly at the house. The only home he'd known His colleagues, perched on windowsills looked out at him alone. The trash-men came and grabbed the bags hydraulics crushed and smashed One trash man took the figurine and put it with his stash The trash man and his little girl since Spring had lived alone. It was hard since Emma's mother died but he tried to make a home. With no insurance and one salary his house this year looked bare Where once they'd had a festive Spruce now a pitiful fake stood there. Such decorations as they had were pilfered from the trash of folks with little sentiment and too much spending cash. In his workshop in the basement He made the snowman shine His silver skates were polished He repainted every line. Little Emma loved the snowman When she saw him near the tree He is no longer called unwanted since he found a new family.
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Dec 2, 2011
Dec 2, 2011 at 10:19 PM UTC
The Unwanted Snowman
I've repainted the wall and dusted the shelf as very soon I will become myself. I've given back the cow and I've returned the lamb in preparation for becoming who I am. I've made an alliance with the fleeing refugee hoping I find peace as I turn into me. So im putting many ghosts to bed before leaving this body, escaping this head. Kaydee.
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Sep 29, 2018
Sep 29, 2018 at 11:37 PM UTC
Spirit
What was known yet unseen was a king and a dying queen holding their last kiss good bye That day the kiss died He then ordered all his men to bind all lovers in his den   Every embrace ever lied The day the kiss died The Judge and the Law all came to find flaw In any poet or guide The day the kiss died Finding two lovers, that spoke of how his and her lips broke Evidence, they could not hide The day the kiss died They cried, *“We hold and we touch yet it’s not enough in as much a kiss can’t be denied”* The day the kiss died With a kiss hid in their heart They tore them apart and took them aside The day the kiss died Children chanted, *“the kiss of death will draw your last breath. Don’t or dare to no longer abide”* The day the kiss died And all the people they wept and the sweepers that swept the sad streets, they sighed The day the kiss died In lace they all dressed in hope to lay the last kiss to rest In a coffin to confide The day the kiss died That night, Artists repainted the sky Lanterns hung high In the black rain they cried The day the kiss died While white doves bled red It was heard and it was said even the angels cried The day the kiss died The clowns in all places Painted a frown on their faces for all grooms and the brides The day the kiss died Old widows slept as it seems waiting for their dreams nuns by their side The day the kiss died The romantics broke doors of bottle shops and liquor stores yet the wine had all dried The day the kiss died Yet, still up north and down south lovers, for love, open their mouth welcoming death near and wide The day the kiss died
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May 14, 2023
May 14, 2023 at 3:44 AM UTC
The Day the Kiss Died
What was known yet unseen was a king and a dying queen holding their last kiss good bye That day the kiss died He then ordered all his men to bind all lovers in his den   Every embrace ever lied The day the kiss died The Judge and the Law all came to find flaw In any poet or guide The day the kiss died Finding two lovers, that spoke of how his and her lips broke Evidence, they could not hide The day the kiss died They cried, *“We hold and we touch yet it’s not enough in as much a kiss can’t be denied”* The day the kiss died With a kiss hid in their heart They tore them apart and took them aside The day the kiss died Children chanted, *“the kiss of death will draw your last breath. Don’t or dare to no longer abide”* The day the kiss died And all the people they wept and the sweepers that swept the sad streets, they sighed The day the kiss died In lace they all dressed in hope to lay the last kiss to rest In a coffin to confide The day the kiss died That night, Artists repainted the sky Lanterns hung high In the black rain they cried The day the kiss died While white doves bled red It was heard and it was said even the angels cried The day the kiss died The clowns in all places Painted a frown on their faces for all grooms and the brides The day the kiss died Old widows slept as it seems waiting for their dreams nuns by their side The day the kiss died The romantics broke doors of bottle shops and liquor stores yet the wine had all dried The day the kiss died Yet, still up north and down south lovers, for love, open their mouth welcoming death near and wide The day the kiss died
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62
(on a Black Saturday) Sun beams touch the lustrous shells of the capiz chime, dazzling the eyes and mind, the walls on both sides of the big window are newly painted, immaculately white, so bright, ....the pink blooms of the bougainvillea, humbly bowed for almost two weeks now, have turned to a faded brown.......wilting... the strange nest had fallen, and gone the young of the yellow green-breasted birds have grown, flown away...all have found ............other trees to perch on the sweet sop tree quivers from its heavy fruits and birds on branches enjoying their meal of fruits...ripe and juicy, leaving some for the bats at night a striped yellow cat rests on a shaded part of the roof...i patiently wait for daddy long legs to come out from the gutter...but in vain... ...paint still wet?...scent too strong, maybe? maybe, the gravel and pebbles on the ground weigh too much...did i unknowingly bury them? i am missing the spectacle of an earthworm, ..........emerging from under the soil big ants are restless...driven out...roaming, the bricked wall's natural tan-beige shade has surfaced...concrete wall is too hot... these bricks, must be repainted white, as well the ants, the spiders, the earthworms, the bats, make their own preparations, why can't we human beings do the same? we prefer to suffer the consequences, and deal with the results of unpreparedness: el nino, earthquakes, unwanted people, la nina, unexpected decisions, unwanted changes...and all sorts of crazy "uns," townhouses have risen on my street strange faces of new neighbors ......pass me by... ......as i write... the worst heat of summer is yet to come... Sally Copyright April 15, 2017 Rosalia Rosario A. Bayan
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Apr 16, 2017
Apr 16, 2017 at 3:06 AM UTC
MORNING OBSERVATIONS
(on a Black Saturday) Sun beams touch the lustrous shells of the capiz chime, dazzling the eyes and mind, the walls on both sides of the big window are newly painted, immaculately white, so bright, ....the pink blooms of the bougainvillea, humbly bowed for almost two weeks now, have turned to a faded brown.......wilting... the strange nest had fallen, and gone the young of the yellow green-breasted birds have grown, flown away...all have found ............other trees to perch on the sweet sop tree quivers from its heavy fruits and birds on branches enjoying their meal of fruits...ripe and juicy, leaving some for the bats at night a striped yellow cat rests on a shaded part of the roof...i patiently wait for daddy long legs to come out from the gutter...but in vain... ...paint still wet?...scent too strong, maybe? maybe, the gravel and pebbles on the ground weigh too much...did i unknowingly bury them? i am missing the spectacle of an earthworm, ..........emerging from under the soil big ants are restless...driven out...roaming, the bricked wall's natural tan-beige shade has surfaced...concrete wall is too hot... these bricks, must be repainted white, as well the ants, the spiders, the earthworms, the bats, make their own preparations, why can't we human beings do the same? we prefer to suffer the consequences, and deal with the results of unpreparedness: el nino, earthquakes, unwanted people, la nina, unexpected decisions, unwanted changes...and all sorts of crazy "uns," townhouses have risen on my street strange faces of new neighbors ......pass me by... ......as i write... the worst heat of summer is yet to come... Sally Copyright April 15, 2017 Rosalia Rosario A. Bayan
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44
Because of you I'm all here Buried all the pains Dug a new chapter Imported new feelings Seeded hope Exported all the grievances Took hold of the promises Watered the heart Cementing the broken pieces together Laminated the smile And on the wall I nailed it Began a tireless journey Wishing for the best Trusting the eyes Enjoying the sweet melody A lullaby I need for a lifetime Remember those days? Acting silly and stupid The ignorance we entertained The confusion we embraced Embroidering the hatred An the mist of pain we got lost Turning our backs on each other Anger reddening our eyes Silence that became a graveyard Silence that almost murdered our hearts Intoxicating our feelings Destroying the taproots of our future I remember that days Buried now Now I smile For we hold it In our hands we are molding it Together moistening the clay That long ago cracked With no hope of being a palp again We have it We repainted the wall A new dawn of hope A beginning of a new chapter The chills of winter all gone Summer says hello With its rain we will puddle In the mud together Yes the mud of love we will ***** ourselves For we buried the past
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Oct 8, 2021
Oct 8, 2021 at 5:32 AM UTC
BECAUSE OF YOU
I felt like I cried too much just then, with my head in your lap and my cheeks stinging with salty tears. I want to die today, but I can't bring you with me. I can't bring you with me in the bleak narrow curvings of my soul absent doubt. I hate hating myself so much. When I look in the mirror I judge from predisposed and painted self doubt. I trim my frame with unrealistic absurdities that make matters worse by setting them self up for failure to begin with. I do not think one should continue to prevent them self from cutting off their own airflow to preserve another being's feelings. Though the act of suicide is selfish, and abstaining from the act to keep others from blaming themselves is in fact selfless; however perpetual self loathing is almost as demanding a lifetime of guilt that comes out of wishing you could have done something to help. I sit on the inside looking out. And more of the time I am perched in there, I am looking around, from within. Disolving the interior and remembering the good old walls. What happened to those willful walls and forgiving storage areas? Nothing is ever good enough; like a mingy white room-once coated twice, but over time has been repainted in folding colors, creating a texture that was not meant to gain, nor pleases as a result. I want all of the excuses and laziness and hastiness to melt away and the chaos that sits with darkness at the corners of everything, to fall away as toxic as they are, and I want to sit outside of myself and watch in praise and humble patience.
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Jan 18, 2010
Jan 18, 2010 at 1:21 AM UTC
samantha loust
I felt like I cried too much just then, with my head in your lap and my cheeks stinging with salty tears. I want to die today, but I can't bring you with me. I can't bring you with me in the bleak narrow curvings of my soul absent doubt. I hate hating myself so much. When I look in the mirror I judge from predisposed and painted self doubt. I trim my frame with unrealistic absurdities that make matters worse by setting them self up for failure to begin with. I do not think one should continue to prevent them self from cutting off their own airflow to preserve another being's feelings. Though the act of suicide is selfish, and abstaining from the act to keep others from blaming themselves is in fact selfless; however perpetual self loathing is almost as demanding a lifetime of guilt that comes out of wishing you could have done something to help. I sit on the inside looking out. And more of the time I am perched in there, I am looking around, from within. Disolving the interior and remembering the good old walls. What happened to those willful walls and forgiving storage areas? Nothing is ever good enough; like a mingy white room-once coated twice, but over time has been repainted in folding colors, creating a texture that was not meant to gain, nor pleases as a result. I want all of the excuses and laziness and hastiness to melt away and the chaos that sits with darkness at the corners of everything, to fall away as toxic as they are, and I want to sit outside of myself and watch in praise and humble patience.
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12
"I'm sorry, forgive me" "I'll never raise my hand at you I swear" "I love you" These bruises on my face that I tried to conceal are finally Wearing me Not all the make-up in the World can beautify the tallies Of your anger that adorn my Skin Your heart beats anger And it courses through your veins Pulps of blood I tried To hide with layers of clothes Have finally stained And I can't lie anymore You call this love? Is love the purple bruises Plastered across my pale skin That have been left behind By the velvety hands I used To yearn for? You love me It's okay I should not be afraid You were just blowing Off steam You love me I've been swimming in this Pool of denial long enough To know that I can't really Swim, I'm drowning And my feet are firmly Fixed on the ground I am afraid of The monsters lurking Behind the iris of your pupil The demons that lurk Behind your shadows I haven't seen my mother In a few months I'm scared she'll see behind The facade I put on She'll tell me "Baby, you need to leave" And I don't want to leave He doesn't want me to leave My head has been banged Across the kitchen walls More than it has been raised These walls have been repainted Repainted, and repainted My scalp has been snatched More times that I've cared to Admit I'm ashamed to say I've traded parts of me For shambles of trust, A lot of bruises, Rough *** Infatuation, And called it love
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Mar 3, 2014
Mar 3, 2014 at 1:53 PM UTC
Love Hurts
There were no last words between us- but you whispered "I love you." Not acknowledging- instead feigning prior pains (acute metaphysical backache or similar; poignantly posed silence construing that I'd been wounded), I told you goodbye. Of course, it was a train and a girl scenario- her off-white handkerchief trailing out the window, itself saying an extra goodbye (saying surrender). I punched the dirt after, because love felt false- especially coming from me, an unkempt young actor. You're a newly colored kaleidoscopic green, an old film repainted (it was still relevant; strong cast- a beautiful female lead needing submission, to be tamed). I am solipsistic graphite smudges forming a halo around the ordinary providence of bold characters erased from an inelegant diner napkin- I wrote I love you I wrote I love you I wrote I love you.
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Jan 2, 2014
Jan 2, 2014 at 5:07 PM UTC
33
Don’t worry, I turned off my heart. I disconnected its valves and tapped my foot to its last beat. I repainted the walls of its chambers a nice neutral color that would really brighten up the space. No trace of love. No trail of grief. You wouldn’t even be able to tell that it belonged to someone else. I spackled the holes left behind, plastered its cracks, sanded its nicks. Refinished the worn floors where too many games have been played. With any luck, interested buyers won’t look too closely. “This one’s got some good bones,” they’ll say, and marvel at its potential. I marvel at its potential. For now though, I’ll turn it off. I’ll turn it off, if only for me.
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Sep 22, 2025
Sep 22, 2025 at 7:00 PM UTC
for sale, as is
As a kid, my best days had a trip to the park in summer, when Mother had time after work and it didn't get dark so fast we rode bikes on the paths between broken glass, watched for stray dogs (and avoided the grass) once we saw two men strolling, holding hands and Mother said not to stare, "They must  be  Europeans - they do things like that" her best friend was Mrs. Cohen-Around-The-Corner they could cluck across our rough fence out back or toss apples to one another were there an apple tree nearby (but there wasn't) so they used the telephone instead the woman, she once told me, "would just die" if her only son ever brought home "a shiksa" I laughed at the word, because it sounded sounded funny and ethnic (Mrs. Cohen taught English) she let her boy back-talk, even express profanity in graffiti on a bedroom door with black permanent marker (it could always be repainted later, she explained) mine met reason with quick backhands or glowering looks; once even washed my mouth out with soap so I nodded in agreement I revisited the old neighborhood, to the teacher long retired; showed wallet photos and discussed our health (hers mostly), hearing accounts of the son away years at kibbutz, too busy to call regularly or make any grandchildren yet I didn't mention the trip to the park which was neater than I remember the kids played tag (on the grass!) until a skinned knee needed a kiss; where I'm certain I'd seen him, now balding, the kid from around the corner, holding hands with a European
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Feb 4, 2012
Feb 4, 2012 at 2:37 PM UTC
A Funny Thing Happened Today at the Park
As a kid, my best days had a trip to the park in summer, when Mother had time after work and it didn't get dark so fast we rode bikes on the paths between broken glass, watched for stray dogs (and avoided the grass) once we saw two men strolling, holding hands and Mother said not to stare, "They must  be  Europeans - they do things like that" her best friend was Mrs. Cohen-Around-The-Corner they could cluck across our rough fence out back or toss apples to one another were there an apple tree nearby (but there wasn't) so they used the telephone instead the woman, she once told me, "would just die" if her only son ever brought home "a shiksa" I laughed at the word, because it sounded sounded funny and ethnic (Mrs. Cohen taught English) she let her boy back-talk, even express profanity in graffiti on a bedroom door with black permanent marker (it could always be repainted later, she explained) mine met reason with quick backhands or glowering looks; once even washed my mouth out with soap so I nodded in agreement I revisited the old neighborhood, to the teacher long retired; showed wallet photos and discussed our health (hers mostly), hearing accounts of the son away years at kibbutz, too busy to call regularly or make any grandchildren yet I didn't mention the trip to the park which was neater than I remember the kids played tag (on the grass!) until a skinned knee needed a kiss; where I'm certain I'd seen him, now balding, the kid from around the corner, holding hands with a European
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50
*Pastel aqua waves of fate thrash upon a calm shore. Silhouettes of rocky shadows stand above the horizon. Within a sunset: anemic clouds gently prepare to soar, As grains of sand glow like starlight from a tired sun... A wondrous glimpse of hope sparks loudly within a thought: Through ugly, grim days on earth, beauty still fights to stay. A mystery sight to eyes seems to loosen up cruel knots, And lift greatness to the earth with each brave waves sway. Perhaps someone mirrors me on the other side of this ocean. Inspiration fills my soul. I am a warrior prepared for life, Yet when I awake from myself, I suddenly fear the motion, With realization of this dream, my world is repainted strife.*
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Jun 15, 2013
Jun 15, 2013 at 1:56 AM UTC
Dream Waves
eyeshadow ground into a finely powdered bath rug feet stained gold and as straight as sink ringed coffee *(it's a perfect day to run away from all the crew neck collars choking you)* fall face down into a cornfield and climb dead pine trees clear up to the blackbirds *(i think you were once upon a time the one who never spent weekends home and hurting)* i am not your past not your mistakes i am not who you used to be but won't say it didn't shape me *(clattering red and white checks skittering across the floor as hydrogenated oils)* i know you're disappointed sometimes in who i've turned out to be but i am also disappointed sometimes in who i've turned out to be *(only ever thinking about ceiling fans and my latest mistakes or an odd assortment of unspoken disagreements)* i can't breathe under highway overpasses in parking garages or when my hands are made of leather. *(suburbia is just a repainted mid-century modern way of covering up dysfunctional families)* here and there then and again i remember that you probably don't love me anymore i understand that neglect destroyed you but you don't understand that involvement destroyed me.
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Sep 6, 2016
Sep 6, 2016 at 2:34 PM UTC
disappointed
Time stood still that day, for me it never really caught back up again . I can still see that black smudge mark on the pristine white wall, it was what I focused on thoughout the pain, You entered my world and within seconds you left again, I'll never forget that eerie silence,with just the ticking of the clock to be heard, and the nurse's face, how quickly the colour drained. I knew at that moment but I still waited, hoping to hear the cry that never happened.Now I'm left with an emptiness no one can fill, The worst thing was the waiting, hearing cries from all other room except this one... but wait there were cries here, mine. How can they tell me to move on? How can they make out you never exsisted? I still have the swollen ******* that have harden where you're not there to suckle the milk from them, I still see mum's with their newborns in the street, yet I come home and your room is empty where they packed your things away and repainted it a dull yellow. I want to scream, but I don't, I just give a small smile, what's the point of saying anything they think I need help anyway. You were a part of me, everytime you moved I felt it, I knew when you had hiccups cause it felt like a bouncing ball in my stomach,and at night you reminded me you were still there with your kicks to my ribs I'd already fallen in love with you, maybe that's why time can't move on, for I pray to go back to the seconds before that final push, when you and I were still connected, maybe than I could change the outcome, but that's not going to happen is it? What I can't understand is why, why let the whole nine months go by so fantastically, I was glowing now my world is dark, just darkness with no light at the end of the tunnel. I pray you saw that light and it took you to that better place, where one day we'll meet again. Until that day my life will be stuck reliving those seconds you were still there inside of me, I'll still feel your heart beating next to mine, and you will not have died.
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Apr 10, 2015
Apr 10, 2015 at 8:54 AM UTC
Time stood still
Time stood still that day, for me it never really caught back up again . I can still see that black smudge mark on the pristine white wall, it was what I focused on thoughout the pain, You entered my world and within seconds you left again, I'll never forget that eerie silence,with just the ticking of the clock to be heard, and the nurse's face, how quickly the colour drained. I knew at that moment but I still waited, hoping to hear the cry that never happened.Now I'm left with an emptiness no one can fill, The worst thing was the waiting, hearing cries from all other room except this one... but wait there were cries here, mine. How can they tell me to move on? How can they make out you never exsisted? I still have the swollen ******* that have harden where you're not there to suckle the milk from them, I still see mum's with their newborns in the street, yet I come home and your room is empty where they packed your things away and repainted it a dull yellow. I want to scream, but I don't, I just give a small smile, what's the point of saying anything they think I need help anyway. You were a part of me, everytime you moved I felt it, I knew when you had hiccups cause it felt like a bouncing ball in my stomach,and at night you reminded me you were still there with your kicks to my ribs I'd already fallen in love with you, maybe that's why time can't move on, for I pray to go back to the seconds before that final push, when you and I were still connected, maybe than I could change the outcome, but that's not going to happen is it? What I can't understand is why, why let the whole nine months go by so fantastically, I was glowing now my world is dark, just darkness with no light at the end of the tunnel. I pray you saw that light and it took you to that better place, where one day we'll meet again. Until that day my life will be stuck reliving those seconds you were still there inside of me, I'll still feel your heart beating next to mine, and you will not have died.
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10
I met someone we had some fun then we were done he made me so happy I couldn’t write he made me so happy I didn’t bite he made me so hopeful I thought we might... I met this man whose daddy hand could burn my sand we stole each other’s shirts kissed each other where it hurts planted flowers in these dirts repainted stained and tainted glass gave each other words to pass decided not to pay for class alas... sand falls through spaces between fingers’ interlaces wind blows it in our faces we shared some time body soul and mind there is no rewind I said things I didn’t mean Across the darkness like a screen Pages burned and turned the scene
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Feb 11, 2018
Feb 11, 2018 at 12:58 PM UTC
glass love
I still remember the night that you repainted yourself And used only a monochrome shade of my blood I had been awakened by the tender ache in your voice The weakest hands have the strongest hearts hidden away You have drained all of my pain and left me incomplete You plucked the thorns and left me lying to let me bleed With a halved heart I wanted to beg for your voice Instead I choked on my own words and waited for darkness Let the moon drip its tears for one night Bring the stars to my sleep in my last dream Still your sweet laughter echoes like an angel-song
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Mar 11, 2014
Mar 11, 2014 at 5:42 PM UTC
Rosebud
The light fades behind the moon My heart is once again tainted It is as if the darkness assumes My soul is to be repainted It's claws thick and stained by blood Like a werewolf it howls sadly at the sky I thought then it understood, but I plea, I beg, dear god tell me why I become this monster in my flesh When the sun descends and retires I become overwhelmed by death And give myself over to haunted desires I am asleep inside my own mind These acts are not my own I wake horrified to find That inside I'm not alone
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Nov 4, 2014
Nov 4, 2014 at 11:14 PM UTC
The Sleeper
*my dreams walk the blurred lines between sub-conscious hopes and fears never predictable, ever straying tiptoeing further than i dare think in waking moments, extracting from some sleeping recess the dusty musings of experiences forgotten, it uncloaks a painting masterful hidden long and then defiles its canvas with the random spatterings of fearful colors, running down fluid feardrops from frame to easel and onward to the floor until it pools at my feet... where it wakes me from my restless sleep leaving me to wonder just how many more hidden passageways and rooms are waiting to be unlocked... revealed... and then... repainted.*
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Dec 4, 2013
Dec 4, 2013 at 10:18 AM UTC
repainted canvas
I don't find limiting myself with a title, There are no boxes left for me to fit in, Or burst out of.... I find it's excitingly horrifying to be, This lost. There's a similar difference between identity and persona, I am what I am, am I? What am I? Do you think the men I have only half loved, But stroked their meek egos of, And the woman I have cowered at, As they screamed my name, Know what I am, Is not who I am? There is a solace to be found in being wanted; Are you the one they fall to on a late night, When they are alone and drunk? What about when their beds are cold? When they cannot see you because, they are blinded, By their quest to find themselves more, and you, And you, My dear, Oh my sweet you, Who is no one in this world, Are a literally stepping stone in under their feet, As you wish to be a moon in their stars. What they don't tell you, About surviving trauma when your brain is developing, Is that your world turns to opposites, Chaos is home Drugs are home Hate is home Fear, is home; Here secreted beneath my pallid skin, I try to find them all a home, Knowing I'll never find mine. If self care and therapy was literal exercise, I could bench press all of you, and more, And save you all; My motivation to not be broken is stronger than my will to die, And they'll never know that, As they try to break me, Over and over, and over, And over again. Everyone's broken. No sorry, everyone has cracked edges, Worn Rusty Mishandled a few times Repainted Cracked Not broken, slightly damaged. We, the ones filled with gilded light, and songbirds, We know the ******* difference between depression, And eternal internal sadness, From not understanding love, to Loving EVERYONE From seeking solace in the extreme, To running away from arms that seek to confine. Where for art ******* thou? We are not here for your pleasure. But we are. How could we be, but anything else? I tired. Sorry... I tried. Men. Women. Whisky. ******* Driving too fast. Telling them. Saving them. Being everything. Hating. Fighting. Drowning. Breathing. Exalting. Crying. Pain. Pleasure. Writing This isn't a shopping list. It's. Not a bucket list. It's what we do to survive, When you're born without love.
0
Apr 21, 2018
Apr 21, 2018 at 7:57 AM UTC
Broken Sunglasses
I don't find limiting myself with a title, There are no boxes left for me to fit in, Or burst out of.... I find it's excitingly horrifying to be, This lost. There's a similar difference between identity and persona, I am what I am, am I? What am I? Do you think the men I have only half loved, But stroked their meek egos of, And the woman I have cowered at, As they screamed my name, Know what I am, Is not who I am? There is a solace to be found in being wanted; Are you the one they fall to on a late night, When they are alone and drunk? What about when their beds are cold? When they cannot see you because, they are blinded, By their quest to find themselves more, and you, And you, My dear, Oh my sweet you, Who is no one in this world, Are a literally stepping stone in under their feet, As you wish to be a moon in their stars. What they don't tell you, About surviving trauma when your brain is developing, Is that your world turns to opposites, Chaos is home Drugs are home Hate is home Fear, is home; Here secreted beneath my pallid skin, I try to find them all a home, Knowing I'll never find mine. If self care and therapy was literal exercise, I could bench press all of you, and more, And save you all; My motivation to not be broken is stronger than my will to die, And they'll never know that, As they try to break me, Over and over, and over, And over again. Everyone's broken. No sorry, everyone has cracked edges, Worn Rusty Mishandled a few times Repainted Cracked Not broken, slightly damaged. We, the ones filled with gilded light, and songbirds, We know the ******* difference between depression, And eternal internal sadness, From not understanding love, to Loving EVERYONE From seeking solace in the extreme, To running away from arms that seek to confine. Where for art ******* thou? We are not here for your pleasure. But we are. How could we be, but anything else? I tired. Sorry... I tried. Men. Women. Whisky. ******* Driving too fast. Telling them. Saving them. Being everything. Hating. Fighting. Drowning. Breathing. Exalting. Crying. Pain. Pleasure. Writing This isn't a shopping list. It's. Not a bucket list. It's what we do to survive, When you're born without love.
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87
Yesterday’s sketching repainted tomorrow’s fruit. Madly, Love plunging through compressed artistic desire, Found poetry on a piece of Old scratch paper laughing with glee As it avoided life’s garbage pail…again.
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Aug 23, 2013
Aug 23, 2013 at 6:15 AM UTC
A Picture of Tomorrow
Sometimes you can forget where you came from, but that somewhere will never forget you. Memories triggered by glimpses of familiar faces. Smiles I once knew and eyes I once recognized repainted a portrait of childhood over twenty years aged, but never faded on the canvas of yesterday’s past. They were reminders of who I used to be, just a child exploring the playground of life, unafraid; filled with laughter, much to be taught and together we all learned how to grow and how to fear, how to fail and how to care on the street’s of yesterday’s past. Together, we were the reunion of innocence as I looked into each eye. I was reminded of how we each wanted to reach the sky, some of us never left the ground, while others fly high. But we will always be connected, each of us a product of a place that will never forget our name, a place where each of us is a vision of yesterday’s past. © 2010 Tarringo T. Vaughan http://www.tarringovaughan.net http://www.flexwriterscreativenetwork.net
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Jan 21, 2012
Jan 21, 2012 at 2:21 PM UTC
Yesterday’s past
My loves a battered box with odd shapes of wood oak yew and pine carved with hearts from time to time. A mis matched assortment of broken pieces glued and repainted though with age the pictures tainted. Theirs no picture on the lid that's long since faded by the water damage tears from eyes past players jaded. I hope you understand this is more than just a toy this is the very essence of a very lonely boy. Close the box if you can't help me leave it there upon the shelf and let the pieces feel untouched as I do within my self.
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May 29, 2012
May 29, 2012 at 10:52 PM UTC
Jigsaw Heart
My soul is in surgery. Tattered pieces are currently being sewn together. Needles, of diamonds. Stitched, with Ivory. Repainted. With shades of ichor. None but the gods have the power to save what little of it remains. Their hands, claw deep into my being and it pains, Once they are through, It will be as good as new. My soul needs beautifying. Lavished with Koi ponds, To replace the craters. Polished with Orchids, To replace the dead roses. I somehow trust that someday It will regain its glory. And that the world will see it smile again. It no longer wants to be in ruins.
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Sep 15, 2014
Sep 15, 2014 at 1:09 AM UTC
Soul in ruins
Have you ever feel like you're terrified without truly knowing why? That stimulus is right in front of you, no matter how beautiful it is. You are so scared because of the uncertainties it brings . Then later on you find yourself insecure. You are too afraid of falling and you found yourself on the floor as when you were staring, you found the paintings on the wall uneven. Told yourself, "The wall needs to be repainted."
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Oct 15, 2015
Oct 15, 2015 at 3:48 AM UTC
Diverted emotions.
He sprinkles this sugar on the world Trying to make it a little bit sweeter. Our response suggests he succeeds. Each grain spinning like a hurricane, Frozen droplets floating towards the earth Until they kiss the frozen ground. Confusion, as they aimlessly drift through the air. Billions build up and coat the world In a blanket of peace, hope and wild dreams. Hugged plants are squeezed a new colour, Rooftops too, are repainted white. The bitter cold troubles no one. This frozen sweetness engulfs the land, And perfection is amongst a youthful world. Perfection that thrives in the luminous dark. But, nightfall slowly realises our fears, And when weary eyes awaken to the morning sun, All of Earths hopes and dreams Have started to melt away.
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Feb 14, 2011
Feb 14, 2011 at 12:16 PM UTC
A Childhood Delight