i do not know
it is me being too much
or
it is he being so careless

all i know was
it is hard to forgive
but i keep repeating
the same thing

forgive
hurted
forgive
hurted
forgive
hurted
hurted
hurted
hurted

why love can be so painful?

“She couldn’t help for feeling a little sad,
for the wolf she had hurted so bad.”

- Staun

I  hurted you
I lied to you
and that's something that I will forever regret
and I will have to live with it
I loved you
you was good to me
you opened up to me
you trusted me
and I made you regret it
I still love you
and love stays and fights
so that's what im doing
im fighting for you whom I love
Im not asking for you to forget what ive done to you
but I am asking for a Second chance
because IM SO SORRY
I don't know how many times I can say it
but its the truth

It's like a jungle sometimes it make me wonder 
It's like a Forrest sometimes it help me flourish 
It's like a desert sometimes I find myself exerted 
I don't know how to word it, so I gather up a excerpt 
My momma always used to blurt it but since I always heard it , Things didn't make sense until it hurted 
Unjust situations did a service , I can't remember the last time when I was nervous
I tried my hardest not to become heartless 
In poverty stricken and drug infested apartments 
They raised us in the slums 
So we raisins in the sun 
Get to the league then our fathers come and try to bake us when we're done 
Already came from out the oven 
Already clubbing and already loving
Been making mistakes 
Got seasoned without his marinade
He never made us a plate 
Forced to be a renegade 
He never made us feel safe 
We're out running from everything 
Then don't know what to do when we make it on base 
Flour for the chicken
Flowers in the vase 
Gun powder in the smith &
Baking soda for the base 
I can't stand the rain coming through my window and we never had drapes 
Slim fast was our ******* so fiends never got in shape
Rent was only $50
So we never had space 
Halloween we had the mask but we Couldn't afford the cape 
So it was only fly if you sold super weight 
God's gate or cell 5 gate
Was our only escape
No DNA 
But we had to share a sub sandwich 
Waterfall a club soda
That's why we relate 
Dozens of "cousins" 
Saw each other everyday so that's why we debate 
It's like a ocean sometimes it makes me hopeless 
Marco Polo never get played, it's real
We dying by waves of violence 
It's like a battle field sometimes it keeps us crying 
Retaliation celebration 
10 years of frequent, but temporary triumph 
It's like a jungle that's why today I'm humbled 
Try to stay away from trouble 
Lost a lot of brothers, so the ones thats left I muffle 
It's like a jungle with tigers, apes, and snakes 
We pray everyday not to become prey 
It's like a jungle 
Only enlightened by thunder 
The trees help us breathe 
The trees bring a breeze 
But the trees is like a tease 
Disable us to follow our dreams 
We can't see the nearest sea 
So we just hunch by the tree stomp 
It's like a jungle 
At times it keep me thinking how do I keep from sinking 
It's like a jungle sometimes it makes us a believer that we gotta have fever just to meet our diva 
It's like a jungle sometimes it make me crumble because the crumbs feed the hunger 
It's like a agglomerate sometimes I forget when the last time I ate 
It's like a collage eventually I can't picture if I have a future 
It's like a jungle where
Lumberjacks never stumble 
Allow our dense vegetation 
To cloud our inspirations 
We come from jungles 
Get older and just want a happy huddle 
And a warm cuddle 
And finances to bundle 
When we make it through our rubble 
From a jungle 
We wonder 
That's all we can do is wander 
That's all we can do is juggle
That's all we can do; is hustle?

Today is the day, I realize that I'm so right.
Right, to don't believe if there is somebody who said "I love you until I die" or "if you die, I will die too".
Or I will smile like a doll and look like a fool.
I can write those sentences to be some stupid love songs.
What I know as well as I always do, a person who really loving you will never ever hurts you or leaves you and never break their promises.
Nobody wrong in this situation, there is only who is the stronger and better. I believe the universe wants me to feel and learn how to get the strength.
I'm not the kind of a person who give up on someone. I don't hate people. I don't leave people and I'm not lost.
Leaved, it doesn't mean weak.
Yes, there will be times, I get mad, upset and sad.
I'm not the kind of a person who break the promises.
I keep it as well as I always do.
That is one of my best.
I don't escape from the memories, it grows me up.
In the end, I'm the winner of these feelings.
I'm forgiving myself, everybody in this story and everything.
God wants me to be patient, strong and happy, so I am. :)

Crossing this path for the third time. God, I hope it's the last.
Sometimes I wish I knew what was in your mind.
Other times I just laugh.

Bethany, we have such a hard history. Childhood was a brawl.
I wish I had more compassion for you.
We were both so small.

Now here we are for the third time; oh what a shameful act.
Is it that we have too much pride?
Or perhaps it's a lack.

Oh, the horrors of family relations.
Oh, the binds that wound our salvation.
Oh, the lack of any sense.
Oh, the death of innocence.

Back at church camp, we did not know. We were caught unawares.
I ****** his **** (I had never before).
He kissed you on your nose.

I hear now he's engaged to a girl. I guess you won in the end.
But we both lost so much dignity.
He's still my Facebook friend.

Oh, we were so gullible.
Oh, it felt so horrible.
Oh, the lack of any sense.
Oh, the death of innocence.

Score number two was my fault, I guess. I loved him very well.
In middle school he called you his girl.
Now we're all going to Hell.

But in my defense, he was my first kiss.
He might have been yours as well.
I'm sorry, my sister, for liking his hair, and all the lies I tell.

Oh, now I've gone and hurted myself.
Oh, I can never ask for your help.
Oh, the lack of any sense.
Oh, the death of innocence.

Three days ago I discovered the third, which you confirmed in a text.
Did it have to be with my Paris love?
It was the first time I had ***.

Still, I win. If anyone can.
You'll date him in Ohio. It's mean to say, but it's the truth.
You're just his beard and a smile.

I want to say this, little sis. I wish that we could be friends.
But secrets breed secrets, which breed some more.
And we all die in the end.

You are not scared of dark,
You r scared of what's in it.

You r not not afraid of heights,
You r afraid of falling.

You r not afraid of people around you,
You r just afraid of rejection.

You r not afraid to love,
You r just afraid of not being loved back.

You r not afraid to let go,
You r afraid to accept reality.

You r not afraid of try again,
You r just afraid of getting hurted for same reason!!!
                                                          --Madonna

It´s difficult to love when we are down,
It´s like having nowhere to sleep,
We just pretend that we have an option.
Under the bridge or on the garden bench.

Like dust, we rise a couple seconds
At the passage of the unknown
Anxiously aiming to be oxygen
In someone´s lungs
But we fall painfully slow on the ground.

Like smoke of a fire
Or fog we have an effect
A principle of being
But we just can't feel it

A cause
Or a mere colatteral accident in life?
A real pain
Or nature´s oblivion...?

When I was yong I'd hurted everyone
                        Even my self
Knowing that there was nothing I could of  done
i wish i could of said sorry of how we had fun
When I hurted you in dougeball
When I hurted you in every thing over all

Pale
And not just skin
My soul is drained
My passion sin

Weak
And not just bone
Glass feelings break
Here on my 'lone

Sick
But not just cold
Life so young
How'd mine get old?

Gone
I don't mean for good
You need some time
I really wish I could

Rustle in the leaves,
tussle with the vines,
afoot in the tree of life,
the gutsy snake coiling,
Raddled and rattled with mans sin,
Divulgence to the loner who cherished the fruit,
in the dusky orange red skies which brought in the adhen
and from the tolling bells in the distant church ,
While the snake lolloped in the stark blue skies,
Manipulating this oppo for the abyss.
The wandering seam of the night,moon,
With flickering light forbade the seance on the seemlessly never ending night,
Pity the snake for another morn would rise
For it will have to go to the *** ,no the pit.
The ***** and cuckoo within cooee , chanted and coerced another morn out !
Following the sun like the grail, the people lounged in to the waters of the ganges.
While broods of hurted children huddled in hate,
hurling stones at the traitor.
Hauling the renegade into the throngs,
Hunnish hands assaulted him until he swooned in to the motherlands lap,
Hue and cry of the avengers brought in the tripper,
Heavy loads hugged on to his shoulders,
In poise words he spoke,
''for every creation has its flaws,
And when we batter on the withered soul,
It leaves the barren man dry again,
To ward off evil is like blowing into the forges of Vulcan,
And only when tests and temptations are burnt in the bonfires of joy,
will man be moulded into a joyous being''
Hissing whisphers from the crowd spoke,
Heresy of the tripper is the hold,
Hasten yourself and bring our brother medication,
Hunt down the snake will we,
For this vagabond has spoken in verses,
Only to be filed in the trippers travelogue.
Hushed up as the snake in the pit.

Year 1 - June 30th was the day I fell in love with you. It was rough at first, you were always stealing me away silently like no one knew I exsisted. No one cared about me at the time, you knew that I was bound to be all alone in my life of how I was. I just wished it wasn't you but **** you stole my heart this beatiful  year.
Year 2 - It was young love for the both of us, I taken it rough cause I was so in love with you I loved spending my time with you, even when we drank, you treated me like your girlfriend. But I had those dark days where it bugged me that I loved you most and I spent most of my days with you which I could've did way much better with schooling and all that other stuff but I managed then people really started to care about me but I didn't care about their care about me cause I know I was bound to be alone, after they starting really looking for me and realized that I was with you but they couldn't do anything about it, was too late for that now.
Year 3 - I'm sure it was in the winter, you got into trouble with playing with guns, and jailed for a week, and you couldn't be around the community due to danger to the community for a year. I decided to move to the city where you were staying, I didn't mind the city but at the time I started seeing someone from the community, I missed you but I also missed the community and I couldn't do this anymore babysitting and not being able to get my freedom. you had to go get into more trouble in the city when I left and got more jail time you were gone for a long while.
Year 4 - Things weren't working out for you and me. I know that you really wanted me back. But I was with someone else and he didn't want to let me go, he kept me silent like he was ashamed to have me or just didn't want to show me off. I was starting to become his joke or whatever I can call it. I loved him, he's kept in the dark from his family but accepted by my family. Could say I was with him for like a year, till he really started to see someone from the city. I left him I'm angry cause he was a keeper but man he is dark so I kind of didn't like that, hiding on me whenever he wanted like I was never apart of his life. I got fed up of this and left it hurted but it didn't hurt as much as losing my first love.
Year 5 - We aparted. My second love I left him or we just wanted to apart. I wanted my true lover back I did whatever I wanted to do. All adult and what not and no one can stop me now and no one can do anything too. I pray that I haven't chosed the wrong path. with this guy I'm hoping to be his partners in crime. I'm back with you my love, I did tell you that I love you cause you wanted to hear it and I never said it to you ever till that night. Our birthdays are coming up, I'm looking forward to spending it with you.

I stalked you again .
Don't ask me why i did that .
It's just that i wanted to know how you were doing .
Because im right here ,
Still not doing very well .
And im sorry for reading every posts ,
And have my own thoughts to it .
Your life is no longer a dedication for me ,
I get that . Alot .
Your smile is not mine anymore ,
I know .
It belong to her now .
And i heard that ,
She's hurting you .
I know im supossed to be happy ,
Because you finally felt what i used to felt .
But i don't ,

Maybe because i love you too much and too deep ,
So much that it's hurting to see you hurted .
It's like the pain is back-stabbing me .

I know i should be laughing or tell my friends ,
Then laught at you .
But i just don't feel like to ,
Maybe because you're too perfect to me.

Undeniably too perfect to be hurted .
Im sorry .
So much , because i couldn't save you from her .

It's not that i didn't try ,
You're the one who gave up .
If you don't , you won't be hurting dear .
Maybe Never .

Im sorry .
I wonder ,
Why do i say sorry so much
For something that i didn't do ?
And for something that you deserve .

i know a place where there is no independence,
Opinions are controlled,well as your "character reference".
It is the place where structures are aero dynamic,
Members Believing that it would fly at the time of panic

The Social-Controller, political-hemophilia,
Millions have joined, expanding the mafia.
Polluted the minds of pioneers, --the low iQ'D,
Wise Child inherit your thy truth have been sued

The thoughts of your childhood was buried deep,
Teachings of the interracial grows in this creed.
It was emphasized, first time in my life,
Discrimination was a wound stabbed by a Knife.

I dont' believe, i can boldly state --
Man-made Cult hurted, roam from day to date.
Creed merged State, Politics, and inner feelings,
Was trespassed, influenced with imposed billings.

How come, you tell me that you can't --
Soul search, and start what you want.
It cuts my skin, when worse comes worst,
I'll go for the love, not with the CURSE!

If I ever forgot to apolgize to anyone that I have hurted.
My fault.
I owe you more.

If I never succeed at my dreams and aspiration.
I'm personally the blame.
Call it, my failure.

We can have the best of ideas and fail to live up to them.
All because we didn't try.
Call it, my fault.
Plus, my failure.

For anything to ever succeed.
It requires, a willing particpant.
Who have a clue to what success means?

So, while we might lose things we should have fought for.
We must address, why we never done more to hold on?
Especially when you realize it's your fault for your failure.

Lonliness, is a sad feeling.
When the one you love has moved on.

I'm a nice person to talk to. I respect everyone and everything. May don't like being in a room with three or more people, makes me feel trapped. Got no enemies, just friends, or I don't know if you can even call them friends, their people I know but don't talk to.

I will try tell you people a bit about me and area. I live in Canada, Saskatchewan. In a reserve called James Smith, this is home in this village. Not much to do here. I got both my parents, but my dad wants to run away from us, he's stuck in a old folks home for the old and disabled, my dad aint that old. He needs one of his daughters with him, I'm the only one that's still young and free, the other two sisters of mine they're struggling for a home for their little families. I  love my dad for who he is, don't get to see him much though. My mum, i ran away from her once or more. I'm mum's babygirl, I dont think I will leave her again cause it hurted the both of us. Theres just something different between my mum and I. She knows I love her though, she's just as bored as I am.

My two sisters, they both live in this village, Genevieve is having a rough time with her boyfriend, at least she won't ever leave her two kids, Dante and Danica. Not much to say about Gen, she is the oldest, she's a good sister. She bites sometimes, nibbles on my nerves. Ha!

Cassandra, my sister she has two sons, Jathan and Nickolas, she's going to school. She's trying to move away from our village and get a life, I might seem funny saying it that way" get a life" but foreal people here don't do anything cause most of them quit school and got no carreer, just cheap jobs that's something though.

My little brother Joey, I try look out for him, only bro I got. There's two ways to say Moostoos, there's Moostoos and mostos. Moostoos is my dad's last name, and mostos stands for cow in Cree. I'm 100% Cree, full blooded First Nations Cree Indian. Being native is like we can live on welfare and get a lot free. I'm only living on welfare cause I'm stuck till I graduate so if I want to get out of here I got to finish school, nother two and a half years till then.

My past bothers me a whole lot, but I am managing it, people thought I lost my mind when I went suicidal a few times. I will be ok. I tell everybody to be ok. My family knows I'm shy, I'm not afraid, I'm just not use to being around loud people. I love to laugh and smile a lot, it hides my sadness, depression and all that. I nearly forgot what its like to laugh hard, I got no one to laugh with and be weird, just my sister Gen, but I rarely see her.

My goal is to be around people more often, made that up as I am thinking of random stuff I like about this place. Pp.s I really really have a big heart for animals. I try my hardest to sound like I care about other people, I must seem very nice.

Got to love art, books, and poetry. Only if I was as good as you's at poetry and stuff. So have yourself a good day or night. Take Care out their. Ta ta!

Do you know how beautifully you get all of me?
Every feeling and the pain you get them too obviously,
As much obvious like the universal truth of sun rises from the East,
Many times it gets harder to know how I feel,
But you already know what is going on in this deep sea,
Deep sea made of billions of thoughts in it,
I know your situations your endless beautiful deeds of too,
I know am a fool everyday either directly or indirectly I've hurted you,
If you hurted me ever I don't think so you did,
Then it couldn't be you it could have be me,
I can't even say sorry for most of them you know ?
Because you just forgivie me before releasing what I did though,
I know I should have known of  my limits and revised them ,
But it gets harder to do it when I see your deep dark pupils; Every strength for denial that I feel something I lost strength,
And I know you care for me so much and adore too,
You do many things I am not able to thank you,
I used to say it's just time am trying to be humble ,
But you do all of kindness without even thinking how bad or good it can end or situations can stumble,
It shows the purity of heart ,
This is the one of the most aprreicable thing I noticed from start,
Words won't end that easily so I have to made them,
Don't worry I won't waste them,
Stacking up all your expectations,
Just relax am alright I'll deal with this hurricane with  all possible cautions.

That love so feels ,
So reel ,
showed real .
That ****
made onto me
I that kneel to .
The fear
Comes near
Holding me dear
All so clear
and pale
Those shadows of
past  
That shall sail
Deep down the crevices
of my heart
where
The tracks are unfinished
for the rails
Bleeding nails so amaze
Abandoned and deserted
All taken by my soul ; hurted
Could pen you into
thousands of verses
As there's still a little while
For me
to get used to this curse yet ......

u hurted my heart
gave me little boo boos
in disguise for kisses
had me beggin for mama
u hurted my heart
and I pretended like it was fine

Bring in me
firetruck
what you could not
in a dumpster baby
child
born
on
a
wednesday

in the sun

it hurted the mummsy,
she cryed

I once saw a whale
eating a preying mantis
whole
as it chewed
I swooned
clearing my throte
and loosing a mating call
to the wind

it blew away
just like your sweet rememberance

In autumn water becomes fire
created from the endless love of stars,
and feelings fall like old leaves
navigated by the nap of lake.
When world gets drunk from every sunset...
I know!You will come...where?
I know!You will be everywhere!
Everything will stop,I will wait until
the moment I wont remember...
I enjoy waiting,searching for you
to arrive at the understanding of love,
of that destructive love with tears,
with memories which hurted my soul,
because love destroy more when
it calms,it ends,it stops...
I saw you dancing in the lake.
Love is reflected in the sky,
stars will dance tonight...

I'll be with you
When people around you
become your enemies
Hurt you alot and
hunt you like zombies
When your shadow prefers
to leave you
When the evil chooses
to call you
I'll be with you
When you need someone to
share your sadness
When you are hurted
by loneliness
When you need a shoulder
to cry on
When you make up your mind
to be alone
I'll be with you
When the happiness knocks
your door
When your heart begins
to soar
When you get a smile on
your lips
When you get a dimple in
your cheeks
I'll be with you
When you want to share your kiss
When you want to share your bliss!
----de3pak

They say I'm strong willed person, relaxed, or composed and happy most of the time
And when I lie- "I'm fine" they'll believed without a doubt
Yes it may seem so, but because its all about mastering
The delicacy of the craftsmanship of my outer being
Then pretending and masking is the result of my handmade effort;

All of it was and all of it will, is a product of my lachrymose heart
To let people believe what I want them to believe of me
Even if molding myself into someone I do not wish to become

But was it worth it? But will it be worth it?

Regret may sometimes be inevitable and cunning
As it kills my sleep and peace of mind to an oblivion
With over thinking of the possible reasons to destroy this best mask I wear
And put to an end to this lachrymose heart that controls my whole being;

Though I want to be honest, be the hurted person I truly am;
Though I want this pain in my heart be manifested through tears;
But even if it do fall down, no one notices, no one see my pleas

All the time I'm just here pretending to be fine
Never letting a single tear from my lachrymose heart cry.

I blew
The heart shaped balloon

I filled it with
Every breath
I could take

I blew
Until I was empty,
My lungs hurted
And my lips were bruised

I tied a knot
So my air
Couldn't escape
From the heart
And that way
Keep our love alive

So,
I blew
I blew
I blew
And I took my last breath
For you

You have done some things you are not proud of.
What'd happen If I told them?
What'd happen if they knew?
You were young, you were angry,
you were horrible, you were everything you hate now.

You hurted so many people
and disappeared.
Why did you do it?
Why would you take your pain
and put it on someone else?

It was not her fault she didn't love you.
It wasn't his fault. He couldn't know.

Yes, you were a mess,
but that's no excuse.
No, you can't change the past.
I don't even know If "I'm sorry" would be enough.

You couldn't love
cause you didn't know how to love yourself.
You thought hate
was your only weapon against the world.

Will she accept your apologies
or will she act is if she doesn't know you
the way that you did?

Will he forgive you
or forget
just like you?

You were full of poison and you killed many flowers
on your way here.
What are we gonna do, Jude?

I'll light a candle for us
and I'll try to be a better man.
It's all I can do
that'll bring a change.

I love you,
no, she did
and the saddest thing is,
that you will never now
how perfect you were to her

You stepped in as an iridescent being
One impossible to compare
the one to whom she would have gave it all
even the things you're not supposed to give

because you touched parts of her
that didn't belong to her body
and she loved you
and she did it with madness
and she wanted to be happy
even though she knew you weren't completely real

because you wanted her
even more that how she wanted you
and these days
even when you do not speak anymore
she wonders how you are
and where you are

Because she remembers clearly
the last time you both spoke
it all was as flawless
as the golden number

and she didn't understand
until now
the reason why
when she told you "goodnight"
you repplied "goodbye"

and she looked for the photographs
of the old you
and she wept while she saw them
and since she still loved you
she was paralyzed by your memories

later she recalled
in the midst of her laugh
that she wanted to tell you all of these
and she was sad again

and even when the sun was up for you
she hoped you would remember her
she hoped that you would remember that you once wanted to stay
that you learned how to love her
and that you desired her

and she used to miss you so bad
so bad it hurted her

but she never felt that you missed her back
and after a while
she stopped missing you too

But I sincerely loved you
Sorry, she did.

You were always high
 but never off my mind
  Still I wanted you with all my heart maybe I was too blind to see that I was too kind to your addiction
and baby I wish it was all just fiction, but oh you were my affliction.

I'm always missing what we had,
  I loved you with all my heart

  You said you loved me like you've    never loved before
you said I was the best thing that  ever happened to you, you swore.
You said the thought of me was your favorite kind of high
You said that no pill, ***** or ***
couldn't even begin to create
the high my presence delivered
That I was the only drug you needed.

Well, you said a lot of things.

You were always high but I did not mind,
your eyes and the way you smiled were too distracting to notice you were just acting to love me the same way I loved you

You hurted me like no one ever had
You had all my heart
but I didn't have yours
I've given up hope
You'll always love me less
than you love your dope

"The Doors were spinning, as well as lamps and small items. Everything was in motion , the total dispersion in the room. And me in the middle, sitting on the floor with my eyes closed. The inner world was penetrating the world outside, it could seem that the power of my mind was growing. Anything was possible. Everything was unreal.
I glanced around me, everything was in perfect order. It's  just the arrogance of human senses, an omission of visible signs of the consciousness' power. And all of that was irrelevant anyway.
- When was the last time you saw him ?- She asked.
-53 Days ago.
-It must be hard for You?
- It is not so bad
It was . Terribly hard, the weight of longing seemed to overwhelm me to the floor on which I sat still . Although You can get used to the constant suffer.
I saw her suffering, but I remained silent. Undoubtedly in addition to counting days she was also counting hours. Sometimes the time passes mercilessly slow. The time does not flow at all when You have no one for whom You could count it. It hurted me more. She's known and tasted the happiness of which I had no idea. In her eyes, the two blue glimmers full of love, I saw the memory of life. And Hope, thanks to her she was still alive. In my eyes You could see merely a destruction. Maybe I have experienced more carnal pleasures, but no one ever looked at me in such a manner as he looked at her. In that look You could see everything. I knew I was missing something, I felt empty inside. "

M not so strong,
not so tough,
i can never b a wall 2 protect both of us,
from d misunderstandings,
nd d hurting things,
m flamable as fuel nd soft as a cotton,
but these features r nt gud for u cuz u r d princes of a poem which has been written,
many times in diff ways,
as like d variation in the ocean waves,
u r lyk a god for me,
but m a unorthodox for the,
god who loves me so much but,
i always misunderstanded it nd get stuck,
in problems which makes me cry d whole day,
nd behind all of these m d reason,
of the hapenings which hurted u also in d way,
of our relation,
pls pardon me dear i never have any bad intention....
@ akash mazumdar