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lost in a dark place
trapped in a crawl space
in my mind I get lost in
I wake up in a coffin
they tell me they care they’re just in love with the idea of me
so they’ll never know about the pain I go through
It’s like a chain of reaction
all the demons attack from all the drugs that I’m taking
It’s like I’m losing my traction
kiss death on the lips I have a fatal attraction
this is my heart
watch as my problems inspire me
tear me apart
won’t let the demons take over me
they took it too far I don’t wanna fall apart
It's like I'm lost in the motions
use this rhyme as a rope
to wrap around the commotion
tie the knot at my throat
I look at death as a notion
I don't want it no more
but it's too late to reverse it
as I fall on the floor
A loaded gun behind the perfect shot,
infiltrates my mind with memories I forgot.
Pills and potions couldn't help ease the pain,
the man with the mask I can no longer keep sane.

And in the bleeding sky I saw,
scars I've encountered once before.
The depth is scary, but I can't look away,
I dive and drown in this red ocean every day.

I close my eyes and hum a song,
trying to outshout the things I've done wrong.
It's a suicide mission to try and win this fight,
so I'll just get lost with the strangers of the night.

On the gleaming tracks I run with no goal,
it's just an endless journey within a distant black hole.
I'm just a fraction of something that could've been great,
but, I know it's too late to change my bulletproof fate.
To trip away in a cloud so grey
To not feel the same
Bro I cry everyday
Things I can not change
Life is very strange
I know you feel this way
Can't carry the weigh
So I'll die someday
But for now please stay
I watch days go by
Fly away
feel sanity decay
I’m floating
In my mind
I don’t seem to know why
Then I crash into the ground
Hearing my thoughts pass
Thinking I might drown
Deep in depression
I can’t catch my breath
I’m not in the room
Yet with mania I feel like I bloom
Insane eyes
Racing mind
Sanity dies
Yet I find beauty on it
I think I’m having a heart attack
I can’t feels my legs
I’m not here
I’m not real
Nothing’s real
I can’t feel a thing
Making me feel terrified
Am I dying?
I’m afraid I might hurt myself
Why my hands seem like they’re not there?
Days are long
And of the nights I never get enough
About to get ****** up
I pour my cup
I’m getting drunk
I smoke
I want to ****
Wanna trip up
To feel awake
And not feel the same
To feel alive
Will I survive?
Hyperactive
Will I thrive?
Depression is consuming me
Like the joints
I fly away with
Through smoke
Mania’s back
Ready for attack
Anxiety has my back
No matter how high I fly
I fall back
It’s a panic attack
Make it stop
I flop
I take my pills
And they put me to sleep
Then I dream
Vividly dream
I’m not scared
Is this a dream?
Why does it feel like it’s real?
I don’t feel real awake
When I think of death
I’m not scared
Will I go?
I'm drifting
through my dreams,
occasionally colliding
with a hint of certainty.
I'm higher than I seem,
fighting the concept
of reality as a means.
I'm lost in the sky.
I can't remember why,
but life is just easier
when I get a little high.
these lakes hold nothing more than the emptiness of my own two hands;
      than the silent fall of my breath.
because the birds are awake and the sky is still an empty canvas
              that I didn’t finish, that I chose not to because these fingers would not keep still, because they were too focused on tracing you,
    and trying to twine you back together again,

and the sun does not speak to us, not like we speak to it,
    It does not open its sad, dull mouth to try and herd together our aching, empty words,
It does not speak in tune, it does not speak at all.
and the moon does not look at us, not like we look at it,
It does not try to study the placing of our bones, or our wide open arms and how they got that way,
It does not wonder why we sing to it, why we sing to it with our hoarse throats and heavy eyes.

these lakes write in cursive. These lakes write in ripples
from our lips, whistling over them, delicate, trying not to disturb.
these lakes know us. These lakes do not forget -
can’t forget, because we have fixed our naked backs into their stomachs, floating,
trying to write our way into the sonnet,
trying to be a part of something other than our own selves.

But the birds cry from grief, and all the water tries to do, is drown us.

So we both walk home alone, bare feet parading over torn ground, shoes grasped between our bleeding hands.
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