For me it never had a starting point or an ending point

I just knew it had to be given
You were the chosen

I showed it by never forgetting where we were going

Goals set, in midnight conversations, early morning calls, late night walks

Never asked you to be loyal
Always talked about keeping it real
It’s like the scene never ended and you kept the reel
Never needed lights to show the actions
No amount of cameras could capture the excellence of your presence
You never left even when you were given the evidence

To you my loyalty has no expiration
Your heart is it’s intended destination

Of the many ways to deal with pain
you chose ******
Numb you became
Sitting in a corner
while conversing to your inner demons  
Asking them why they exist
They reply, you created us out of fear
Now we are here
You summoned us, with every hit
To activate them you inject chemicals in your veins
Chasing highs while waking up to lows
Taking hits
Ending up with a face full of blows
Nose full of blow
Glass table full of credit cards
used to cut the dope, emotions in a noose tide in a rope

An addict at best
at worst dead and buried alive

Me and you are addicts of the same emotions
Hoping to find a fix to chase this high
which hopefully ends in eternity
if God grants It
I pray he blesses our holy matrimony,
As he joins our souls in unity
Bound by our vows
We become one as Adam was with Eve
This holy union a foundation created in Love
Our journey endless, our battles unpredictable
But with the help of God we will conquer all
Be my anchor when I fall
Protect me with prayers
Love me with grace
Forgive me with time
Understand all of my flaws
Don’t fix me, love me for me
If we invite hope and faith in our marriage
I believe we can conquer anything
Hardships, pain, tragedy, and loss all don’t stand a chance when God is the creator of our love
So let’s embrace him
in all of our thoughts and actions
Let’s pray we don’t lose this fire that burns within

Stuck in Marvins Room
Wondering who is loving you the way I used to
Wished I knew the pain of losing you
While I still had you
Regret hits deeper than Cupid’s arrows
Now I sit back and drink my own sorrow
Darkness looms on my head “No halo“
Wake up in the morning with no hello’s
Missing your voice like an over thrown pass
I wish I could of been the last to last
Took you for granted thinking your love was always gon be granted
Missing pieces of me
cause I left them inside of you
This broken heart
can’t even be fixed with a million pounds of glue
I tried therapy, but no words
can take back what I did to you
Locked in Marvins room and only time can unlock me

She wore a mask to hide her personality
It took her lovers heart to unlock her true beauty
Behind the mask, she was who she thought she wanted to be
Running away from her reality
Just so she could feel free
Behind the mask she cropped and edited herself
Only to end up losing her true self
Her value laid in the mouths of insecure men
Calling her names with no substance
Social pages full of likes and compliments
They desired the image she painted of herself  
Never acknowledging that she had a personality  
But He loved her so much
that he took away her mask
Now she smiles a smile so beautiful it can make pain leave the broken heart
She is her and she is you when you found you

She wears mascara to hide her flaws
While her flaws find comfort in her empty soul
They fester inside and cut deep
She faces internal insecurity
Hating who she is supposed to be
Her inner beauty ugly as her attitude
Lacking the ability to show gratitude
Angry because it has never been appreciated
It's only been abused by men who left her feeling devestated
Heart broken and alone she found beauty in her mascara as it hid her ****** errors
At least it covered her deepest fears
Wiped her heaviest tears
Her mascara became a mask full of errors

Only true love would get her to take it off...

Cold winter breeze
Please don’t make my heart freeze
Numb you leave me
Confused and dazed
Fazed for days
Twisted in your ambiguity
Do you love me or just want to use me
Please don’t rush me
But feel the need to need me
Because I have a heart beat
that beats to your melody

I am just a broken glass full of mistakes
If you drink from me I hope you get no cuts
here comes a heart full of pain
needing your therapy
Your words got the best of me
I am left feeling empty
But full of an emotion I know not how to explain
But feel it from within

Me and my poetry make love
And birth metaphors
We flirt with words and make new alphabets
Gambling on emotional expressions
While reaching written aspirations
we share sensation, desperation, dedication
While searching for deep emotional satisfaction  
sometimes we cry together
Other times we smile together
when it's all said and done we know we will die together
just me and my poetry....

Midnight and poetry
Go together like
Peanut butter and jelly

Chances are priceless
missed takes are limitless
avoidance is countless
Like stop reading this and count less Opportunities you missed due to being scared of mistakes
more lines in this poetry than the ones you seen on a glass table
finger nails full of *******
brain seduced to love highs and avoid lows
running from life's heavy blows
took chances now drown in your consequence
white face, black lips, short tips, long dreams soon to be nightmares
mistakes will never know their true potential if you never make them
chances are hidden in mistakes so go ahead and embrace them
opportunities are golden but you are comfortable with rubies
scared to mess up so you look down and never face up
sleeping with nightmares afraid to wake up

"I had a moment and it passed," she said

even though that moment was that she found herself missing him
she found herself needing him
praying that she was close to him

he knew the tempo of her heartbeat
it beat to the sound of his voice

she would do anything to live in that moment for eternity

January was never in a hurry, relationships seemed a bit too scary  
February always left me feeling lonely
March left scars and forced me to act needy
April lied and tricked me to fall in love with fools like you
No I actually liked you  
I started Idolizing fantasies
blind to see that it was us who were never meant to be  
May came around and exposed what we pretended to be
June made us lay under covers, and lie that we were lovers
July made you lie that you found another lover
It was me you wanted but couldn't find me
So you looked for me in others
All you found was broken hearts full of scars
Bleeding for your attention, while lacking complete satisfaction  
August had you feeling uncomfortable, heat in your veins
Pain in your seduced membrane, just smile and stay in the main frame
Pretend like you feel no pain
September had you missing me, dancing with your memories
I was love and you acted like you never needed me
October had you feeling lonely, while your soul became empty  
November left your heart feeling colder, while your ego got smaller
In December I was all that you could remember

Razor cuts deep
Blood pours slow
Leaking to fill up spaces
Inside his body it stayed in empty places
In so much pain
looking for something within to replace it

Taking deep breaths as he inhales
The devil smiles
As he welcomes him to hell
More cuts more pain
No substance within
Mind goes insane

As he feeds his body more pain
Cuts on his arm leaving history
Marking himself just to feel alive
While inside his soul is slowly dying

Oh mother land
How I miss you
You gave me life
And blessed me with culture
Baptized me in tradition
Nurtured me in love
Sweet Africa, sweet Africa
How I love you

He cried for her to stay
She left with his heart in her hands
Drowning it in her tears
He slept with his fears
heartless he was
A savage seeking his next victim
Insecure growing up with no father
And an addict for a mother
Motherless Brooklyn
your city lights never sleep
Your heart sold for attention to the next buyer
Left alone on an island called Coney
Summer nights become cold as the heart of winter
Creating a cold killer
Oh Motherless Brooklyn she hopes you heal
But in the meantime she hopes
you spend time in hell
As you in hell
For the pain you caused her
Weak men fall victim to their insecurities
While blaming it on their passionless passion
aggressive nature, leaving prints on past lovers
While tucking Their souls under covers
Motherless Brooklyn you have not seen your sin
A fool to love you are
As you fiddle with old scars
You are a victim of a perfect crime

My name is _____
I’m addicted to poetry
One word changes me
I’ve been an addict for the last 20 years
When I met poetry
I was lonely
afraid to live life because it was scary
I hid in my misery and found comfort in my insecurity
I cried tears faced fears,
cuddled with nightmares, opened old scars
Then I met poetry
Words so deep it touched my soul
Peace it brought to me
In love I now fall
My past poetry helped me forget it all

Admitting my addiction
gives validation to my feelings
I seek no rehabilitation
For this addiction gives me complete satisfaction

You are the drug of my choice
the strength in my voice
a thief in the night
you stole my heart on sight
robbed me of sight so I can only love you with my soul
I gave you my all and more  
I sacrificed my imagination and filled it with your sensation
Addicted to you I am
like a an addict is to their needle of joy
I get a great high when I am around you
a depressive low when I am not with you
I am addicted to your flaws
in love with your insecurities
you bring out the best in me
every kiss is as powerful as every breath I take
I need your touch like the veins that connect to my heart
without that I am like an empty vessel with no purpose
You are simply my addiction and I will never seek treatment
In you I find therapy, you have taken the best of me

She scared him when she told him to unplug his heart from hers
She touched and played with her open scars
Bleeding, while she visited her past
He tried to repair her
But she was not willing to let him touch her scars
So her heart went far
He ran after her
Only to find her hiding behind her insecurity
Changing her character
seeking a different identity  
It was easier to run away from love
than face her reality
She overdosed on fantasy
And died to the sound of misery

Her love was nothing but a mystery

I’m not good at saying (good)bye

So let me just start by saying (hello)

If tomorrow never comes
I hope to die with your shadow
For today you made me feel wanted and loved
Your heart I will now follow  

Yesterday and everyday before yesterday was a struggle
because for many years I lived without you

Many years of pain and passionless desires

Now that I found you
I’m not good at saying (good)bye

Nothing hurts more than rejection
A mother throws away her new born baby

Nothing hurts more than rejection
A wife abused and beaten daily

Nothing hurts more than rejection
A father told he is not allowed
to see his child
Paying child support, while his role as a father is deported, any mistakes he is reported

Nothing hurts more than rejection
A girl told she is not pretty enough to be loved
Comforted by insecurity, abused physically and mentally, wounded emotionally

Nothing hurts more than rejection
A boyfriend proposes to his girlfriend while she walks away leaving him on one knee
Left to face his pain and agony

Nothing hurts more than rejection
A lover sees his lover fall in love with another lover, when he knows that should of been his lover, heart broken as he knows it’s all over  

Nothing hurts more than rejection
A mother told she will never be a mother
Because her womb won’t let her
All she wanted was one son and one daughter

I am black like the lack of light
but shine bright like the lack of darkness
I am your worst fear
wealth to a darker shade
I illuminate your misconception
Full of transparency I don't believe in deception
I was told never to seek validation
because I was born superior
no matter why others express fear
and shade oceans full of tears
Now you see me

Why Do I have to be aggressive for you to hear me!!!
I rule like King Tut
young wild and untaught
I learned that man only lives two days
one day he is born
the next he dies
so why should I lie inside my own lies
tell lies to my own eyes
who am I deceiving?
Now you see me

It took George Floyd's Life for you to hear me
still wake up to sounds of you telling me you hate me
Its never been about one's occupation
Its always been about that dream Dr. King dreamt
I hope my children, children experience it
Because I missed it, never felt it, just hatred, and unjust court cases
if not now then when will you see me  
would you rather I disappear, or return to my motherland
Or would you rather I sacrifice my neck to gain justice
Now you see me

I wanted to write you this piece
But thought that these words
would rob you of your peace

This paper would ran out of space
As it flows with emotional ink

Numb emotions hug me like a mother hugs her young child
These thoughts run wild
Like the tracks on a black queens head
Outside I smile but inside I’m dead
Feeding on false hope
That one day you will return back to me like an addict relapsing back to their deadly drug
Hoping you inhale my presence
And remember the love as you forget the mistakes

We walked on clouds just to fall asleep in loveless coffins

Emotions lay at the end of empty liquor bottles
While Pain sits in the middle of his ****** filled syringe
The struggle of leaving love left a feeling so strenge

She drunk her way out of love
As he drugged his way out of love

Getting over love is painful
don't overdose while getting over something that wasn't meant to be
Forcing you to be who you not supposed to be

Remember that addicts were once lovers looking for a drug more powerful than love

Owls only talk at night
Fearing lights
But falling in love with the moon and the stars
They speak of the past as they feast on old scars

Paralyzed with insecurity
she develops a deep sense of mystery
Hidden in a dark world she finds a purpose
To **** reality while trying to overdose on fantasy

She is a hidden pleasure
To a world that has tasted her bitter soul
Numb she is to anything that pushes her to grow
Paralyzed her are eyes
only seeing what pleases her flaws

She burned with passion as I sacrificed my heart for her to use as a canvas
She drew art only my soul appreciated
It thirsted for her existence
Holding on to hope
While giving my all she loved with grace
The universe was never enough space
For her beauty, was far beyond royalty
Love and loyalty was what kept me addicted
To her presence

The greatest thing my past has ever done for me is let me experience it

With out it

I would never know what it feels like to

Cry, smile, laugh, leave, hide, stay, walk, run, ignore, grow, hurt, be hurt, overreact, comeback for more

Because to not want more
leads to a sad note left at the edge of your bed

Titled suicide note

So for life sake I thank my past for everything

I long for tranquility
while forging a reality
as my mind flirts with fantasy
I become blind to see that peace is just a dream
a dream which was never meant to be
captured in my nest of emotions
I occupy my mind with senseless motion
running away from my burdens towards peace
as peace runs away from me while it sees my burdens follow me
even peace has abandoned me

She popped pills
To catch thrills
Chasing dreams
While searching for something real
Addict is her identity
Chasing highs but end up catching lows
Empty was her heart
She fell in love With something that
tore her apart
Popping pills to feed her ego
This addiction she didnt want let go
Now to the grave she goes

Poets know anxiety better than they know themselves

Words inspired by pain while trying to learn how to love themselves again

Since they sometimes can’t feel love
They write about it
Read about it and make others feel it

That way they can still experience it
Through those going through it

Poets know anxiety better than they know love

Black is power
Power is black
400 years of pain and torture
Bodies Confined in ghettos
Government planted drugs
Drug stores on every ghetto corner
owned by white owners
Guns and violence labeled communities
Living in fixed income homes
Kings and Queens with no thrown
Facing poverty, while chasing a fantasy
Crime becomes vital as it is part of reality
Malcolm tried to save them, so they had to take him
Martin was also taken by an assassin
Society labels blacks as superior athletes
but fails to applaud our superior mindsets
Education in our bloodlines
Look at what the Egyptians accomplished
Voices of the numb taken to regret-filled coffins
Rosa Parks sat down so we could stand up for civil justice
What is justice?
Freedom or is it just a word for acceptance
These are words for young Kings and Queens
You are more than a statistic
your skin shade doesn't determine your worth  
your mindset controls the narrative
so don't let society control it
For the racist, I pray you learn to resist
The urge to hurt us, label us, or control us
Because our black minds will never be boxed

Pride dug a hole in their relationship
Deeper and deeper they dug
Silence was the casket they fell in
No echos of love
Endorsing anger as their new form of emotion
Blaming each other like old fools
Manipulated souls
Feeling destroyed
as pride became their voice of reason
Leaving no choice
Obeying it as they both chose to be (right) no love (left)
Promises ignored
Both robbed of happiness
Pride introduced them to emptiness
Both stressed and depressed
Seeking validation for their emotions
Turning to negativity to find satisfaction
The devil between them
Comfortably cuddling with their souls
Creating a divided union lacking a destination
pride left them Lost with no direction
Pride destroyed their beautiful connection
It destroyed their promises and hopes for a bright future
Suffering to see the sunlight while living in darkness

Dear love  
Pray for this love of ours to grow
When it comes to you
I want nothing more than all of you
I want your love
I want your passion
I want your desire
I want your secrets and confessions
I want your ice and I want your fire
I want your tears and your fears
I want your scars and your perfection

I will love your imperfections
as if they were my own
I will love and cherish them  
I will love your insecurities
because you appointed me
as the head of your hearts security
to protect and honor with loyalty

I’m not afraid of dying
I’m afraid of not living while I am alive
Because to me that’s worse than death
That’s a slow suicide
As death welcomes me into its cold arms
Comforting me with doubt, while forcing me to reject faith, ignore hope, and embrace fear
Shed a million tears
open old scars and feast on regret  

I’m not afraid of dying
I am afraid of giving up on my future  
Because to me that’s worse than death
That’s emotional torture,
as I watch my heart get eaten by vultures
Serenading my past and giving it meaning like I don’t have a future, it abuses me by feeding me stress, anxiety and depression like my past needs me to impress it
I’m just trying to move past it
It has a hold on me, it’s taking control of me

I’m not afraid of dying
I am afraid of ignoring love while it shoots me with Cupid’s arrow
As I feast on my ego and drown in my sorrow  
Lover after lover I reject like I don’t know
Searching for that idol
while I worship my insecurities
The closer they get the further I ran
Because I can’t let them see the worst of me
I never loved me
how can I let a stranger in
When I am not comfortable within

I’m not afraid of dying
I’m just afraid on living without a purpose
Loving without a purpose
Caring without a purpose
Trying without a purpose

I just want to live a life with a purpose!!!!

Goodbyes hurt
Hellos heal
Love burns
Pain kills
Your touch
gives me thrills

I touch you
to make sure this love is real
And my Fingers go numb

let me touch your soul

Read between these lines
To know that you are forever mine

She was drown to superstars
Shiny cars
Fast lives Slow hearts, materialistic worshippers
Loud mouths, voice yelling hand clappers
Just to get a point a across

Attitude filled reality stars
She idolized, visualized and internalized
Their lifestyles

Just to end up losing her own identity

Consumed by what she idolized she forgot to open her eyes

Blinded by perception, while dying to gain acception

Got you all me give
I will give you all of me
Me love
I will always love you
Reciprocal be always should love

(read that backward)

Silence overcomes your mind as you sit in tranquility
Breathing every breath as if it is your first and last
flashbacks of memories pasts
History's ghosts come to comfort your broken heart
Every voice in your mind racing to be heard
As your heartbeat fights to be felt
numb you become
feeling as if life is just an illusion    
to your problems you find no solution
but rest easy, this day will pass too
somewhere light is shinning waiting for your long-awaited arrival
stories you will tell of your survival
a pain you feel today will be a love you give tomorrow
so rest easy because at the end of the tunnel rest becomes easy

She opened my left rib cage
and Made herself comfortable
It was her I was missing
With her here
I feel like we can now build a home
This body she now owns
She loved me
because she knew
I was her one and only True love,
pure like a dove sent from above
With love we dove in an ocean
Deep into our emotions
While our heart continued floating
I am glad that she is the one God let in my bruised left ribs