once upon a time you looked at this boy
as though his eyes led you to another universe
you would savor the taste of his rose lips against your own
you laid in the park
motionless
both of you were afraid to make the first move
and eventually, he did
and that changed everything
you spent all your spare time with him
cuddling and watching movies
and playing soccer in the park
like nothing else in the world mattered
that boy
and that summer

but eventually
the temperature began to fall
along with the leaves on the trees
and he went off to college
but he came back on a cool fall night
and you sat by the fire in his sweatpants
while he held you and pressed his cold nose against yours
and that night you cried yourself to sleep
because you knew it was the end
of that boy
and that summer

I linger past my family, only glancing at me,
It’s one  thing to  look, And  another
to see, With tear  stained eyes,
Sunk in  cheeks, I float to
my  bedroom,  Too
b r o k e n to
speak,

I lock my door, Close my shades, Dark and masked
I want it all to fade, Something I’ve learned is
monsters  don’t  sleep under  your
bed, For all of the demons,
Hide  in  your
head

Eyes of ebony, Heart and gold, Honey dripped
smiles, All  past  and  old,  Sweet  crimson
blood used to  fill  my  veins,  crystal
clear    *****,   Now   flows    to
lessen   the   pain.   My   lips
a   pale   blue,  My   eyes
dark and stern, “Just
one more  drink,”
“Baby  let  it
burn”

They all call me  perfect, Inside  and out, The  problem with
perfect, Is that I go without, It started at pound one,
And  led  to two, Now  boney and  frail,  I still
feel  size twenty-two, Tattered gray
bow,  Tied  tightly  around  my
wrist, Hugging the wound,
From blade it has
kissed,

“Drink just one more liter, Graze one more spot,”
“Lose one  more  pound,  You’re too close  to
stop,” These pills so vibrant, They begin to
taunt  me,  I  hear  more whispers, “Take
them,   there’s   only   twenty    three,”
Growing  the  courage,  I  take them
with the  last of  my  drink,   Pull
out    some   paper,   write  a
final note  in  ink. You  see
these   demons,   They
took  over  me,  I’m
sorry  I have  to
go,  But  I just
need to be
free

*B.K