Photograph*
In my mobile phone, I
have your picture
from long ago
which sometimes I watch
again and again
again and again
I zoom in and zoom out
The hair which were always messy
like my room, and you complained
The nose that was red once
because you cried hard
for you heard
the world is failing and we are to blame
I did not care about world
this world or that.
Your nose is not red in the photograph on my mobile phone,
Its just
cute
And I watch your photos
every details of your face
to breast
eyes to thighs
all in just right place and right size
that mufler you wore in every winter day
Does it keep you warm
from the cold feeling
I left the last time we met?
,I wonder.
that bag lying on your side
which sometime I carried for you
I do not know anything about you now,
and I only carry some bags of memory
And I watch the only photograph
left on my mobile phone
Just to remember how much I have
forgotten you
and how much is left to forget
May be, I will never forget the smiles turning to tears.

एक दुई घर हुदैँ
टोल टोल छिर्दैँ छ
बिस्तारै कोलाहल मच्चिएको छ चारैतर्फ
सन्त्रास छाएको छ, सारा गाउँमा

बुख्याँचा त पहिले नै भन्थ्यो –
"गाँउमा आज सर्प पसेको देखेँ!"
तर त्यातिबेला न अरु कसैले देख्यो
न बुख्याँचाको कसैले सुन्यो।

गाउँमा आज हिड्ने बाटो छैन
न त कतै बस्ने चौतारा बाकी छ
लुसुक्क पसेको सर्पको आज
जताततै गुड देखिन थालेको छ

देख्दैछ बुख्याँचा, सक्नेहरु झोला बोकीँ हिडेको
कोही गाई निचोर्दै सर्पलाई दुध दिरहेको
बुख्याँचा भन्छ "सारा गुडमा आगो झोस्देऊ!"
तर आफ्नै घरमुनि मान्दैन कोही आगो लगाउन

सर्पदंशले आजित हरेक जन
घायल बन्दैछ बिस्तारै सारा गाउँ
कैयन त मरिसके, अनि वेवारिसे सढिसके
ओखतीको पर्खाईमा आत्तिदैछन् बाँकी सबै

जेठा वैद्द चिन्तित छन्, नसकिने हो की भनी सबलाई
बचाउन ,पालैपालो घाईते बोक्दै आउदैछ  बुख्याँचा
अन्तमा वैद्दकै लाश दोबाटो भेटियो
त्राहीमाम गाउँलेबीच अन्योल चुलियो

वीण बजाउँदै झुल्किन्छ गाउँमा नौलो अनुहार
सगँसगैँ देखियो सर्पदशंको ओखतीको विज्ञापन
वाचा गरियो सबैलाई ओखतीको
अनि भगाईने भईयो सबै सर्प

चिच्यायो बुख्याँचा - " यो सब यसैको काम हो, केवल नाटक हो।"
घाईतेको आहत अगाडी उस्को चिच्याहतले पारेको देखिन्न
केही फरक सशँकित गाउँलेको
लामै लाईन लाग्छ, अब बाचिने भईयो सायद

त्यसपछि बिते कैयन रात र दिन
सारा सर्प गुडबाट महलको कोठीमा सरे
अनि अझै हरेक दिन कोही न कोही
घाईते बन्छ सर्पदंशबाट, लाईन अझै लामै छ,

एकदिन, बुख्याँचा
तेही लाइनमा देखिन्छ, हारेको मुहारमा

तर हार्न पनि कहाँ सजिलो छ र!

A crow in sorrow
drenched in monsoon
The song of new season
that flooded the village
And the once green cornfields
now enzymed so minutely
A crow sings today
for his wife is waiting
and his children are waiting
drenched in monsoon

A vulture soaring upright his zenith
A happy season to follow
drenched in monsoon
And less he cares the thunders
or the bolts of lightening
the angry droplets eating up the village
A vulture drenched in monsoon
waits for the last crow
A feast to be ready

Some die in despair
Some in excitement
In season to change

It was not memory but
mere imagination
A heavenly bud
Enticed by the beauty of earth
left its throne up above
In mountains it desired to grow
In hills it wanted to flower
In plains and pleatues
of everywhere in earth it needed to reach
dancing with sandstorms
swirling in hurricanes
floating along streams and rivers
meeting the waves of ocean
it was not dream
a mere imagination
a heavenly flower
encapsuled in golden vase
in world of dreams

I cumber into invisible *****
at the corner of my solitude
When I see my path ahead
so full of crowds
waiting for me to bring them
the flower of heaven
they seem so happy
and I can hardly smile looking
at their eyes
There is a wild mushroom
inside my head
everything seems so beautifully frightening
I feel why Plath couldn't ask for more
Courage feels so heavy
that comes naturally with spines of belongings
and there is so much darkness ahead
if only I had a light of in my dreams
a desire that outshines my fear
Can't just forget this warmth
blowing out the clouds from mouth

Dreams cone as one
under the lights of city
of city hustling inside mind
Rustling breezes of letters
seeking stairs on your service
under the night of city
of city bewildered so high
here, dreams cone as one

the beauty gasp under the bridge
praised under suffocation
On sale for shillings
while truth flowing out of town
seek solace beyond moutains
and shines under moonlight
we hold hands with smile
with dream of our own
there, a star falls for each dream

Who was searching for whom
Still shivering
in certain madness
An agony burning but in ice
when was it that eyes met but
never did dreams

Who were you when
we crossed our way
In quivering desperation
Still falling under the feet of fate
we crossed and only I noticed
I noticed and never did you

Under the dustless sky
Stars fall under your eyes
and only I noticed, never did you

It was you so strange
A stranger blowing hollow horns
and only I noticed, never did you

And what was it that got crushed
and only I noticed, never did you

who is who and who needs what
what was it when everything turned to dust
noone noticed, breaking right in two

जसरी तिमी मेरा पहिलो
किरणहरूसँग सम्मोहनमा रमाएको देख्दैछु
यो केवल सुरूवात हो
ना कि कुनै सुखद् क्लाईम्येक्स
बिस्तारै म तिम्रा आँखा
तिर्मिराउने गरि उचाई छुनेछु
तिम्रो शिरमा तापको फोहरा खस्नेछन्
अनि जुन किरणसँग तिमी मितेरी गास्यौ
मेरो उचाइ सगैँ त्यो साइनोले घोच्नेछ,
चिड्चिडाउने छौ तिमी
परिवर्तन नै यात्राहो जीवनको।
र
सोचौँउला तिमी यो कथा किन?
जे पनि हुनसक्छ
यहाँ छैन केही सदा सर्वदा हराभरा
म पनि सधै उचाइमा रहन्छु कहाँ
जुन वादलले तिम्रो प्यारो घाम छेक्यो
तिमी तेही खोज्नेछौ फेरि शीघ्र
जुन वर्षाले तिमीलाई हिलो छाप्यो
तिमी कुर्नेछौ उसैलाई म देखि पर
कुनै छहारीमा बसी
र यो सब
मैले बुझेकु छु
किनकी धेरै पहिलो घामहरू
अधेरीले निलेका छन्
र चिर्दै औँशी झुल्केकाछन्
हरेक बिहान नयाँ घाम
भोलि कसले देखेको छ र?

बिहान उठेदेखि नै टोलाईरहेका
एक जोडी नयन
पर कुनै क्षितिजमा, यो दुनियाँबाट अलग
धमिलिएको आकाश पारी

गौठलीको गुँड भन्दा पर
धुपीको सिरान माथी
साँझसम्म तोलाईरहेको, नथाकी
बिना झिम्मिक्क , ती एक जोडी नयन

ओइलिएर झरेको फूलको
वासना खोज्दैछन्
हिडेर बिर्सेका पदका
निसानी खोज्दैछन्
भग्नावशेष भित्रको
ईतिहास खोज्दैछन्
डुब्दै गरेको घाममा नयाँ
बिहानी खोज्दैछ्

अनि भेटिएका छन्
धुलाम्य स्मृति बीच सधाझै
बादलको सिरक ओढेको
त्यो सफा दाग, जून उदाएसगैँ

मैले लेखेको गीत

तिमीले कुनै दिन
मलाई भनेका कुरा अझै याद
नआउने हैनन्।

गोरेटोमा सगैँ चालेका
कदमहरू
दोबाटोमा अल्मलिएर छुट्टिसके
तर तिम्रो निम्ति, तिम्रो नाममा
मैले गीत अझै कोर्न सकिन

तर अवश्य गाउनेछु
तिमीले भुन भुनाउने धुनमा मिलाएर
एकदिन, कुनै एकदिन
म मनबाट गीत

सायद त्यो गीत जुनमा अल्झिएर
तारामा पिल्पीलाएर, चम्किरहेछ
र म खोज्दैछु तिनका
समुन्द्र भित्रको अस्पष्ट छायाँमा

सायद कुनै सखाप हुँदै गरेको
वन पाखामा मैनाको आवाजमा
लुकेको छ त्यो गीत
र म शहरको कोलाहलमा हराएकोछु

सायद कुनै मादलको खरीमा
सायद  साउने झरीमा
लुकेको छ त्यो गीत
र म हराएको छु माघे एकान्तमा

अनि सम्झिन्छु त्यो मैले
आफ्नो सिरानीमुनि राखेको तिम्रो तस्बिर
जसको पछाडी मैले तिम्रो नाम कोरेको थिए

तिमीले गुन गुनाउने धुनसँगै
त्यो शब्द कति मीठो सुनिन्छ।

के शब्द कोरू तिम्रो यादमा छाडी गएपछि
सगैँ पाईला चाल्दाचाल्दै टाढि गएपछि

हिजोका ती मिठापनि तितो लाग्छ आज
बोल्दा बोल्दै मौनताले घेरी दिएपछि

पुर्णिमाकै जुन पनि कालो देख्छु म त
मायाले नै यी आखाँमा छारो हानेपछि

अझै म त दोबाटोमै आशा गरि बस्छु
आशा पनि मारू कसरी माया लाएपछी

Desperated soul rising low in crude hours
In dance with tunes of discarded symphonies
I know its time with parasitic inception
Time which can never change again
You may think this was all meant to be
I may smile and walk the other way
But the interwined souls are never on release
None has seen the solitude that watches both
Lonely hours in parks, I spend today
The giant of giants setting its sail
Innocent breeze filling me with malaise
The benches broken and the weeds uncut
Old couples reliving their prime in solace
New sailors of the sky with splashing eyes
How everything points back to time together
Clueless how everything relates
All the curls and turns ending right at you
I may say, this was all meant to be
You may smile and walk miles away
Do onto others what they do to you

Sometimes when we cross
each other these days,
I almost forget
we are no more the same 'us'
But still we smile
talk, drink coffees
chating, mumbling, teasing
you talk about your ex
I also talk about you
And I wonder what is so funny
But in persuit of Living the Moment
I laugh with you
And nothing ever changed
We just lost each other
Must be the beauty of 'us'
With you at the opposite corner
All my memories of tragic aftermath
I hardly remember the frustrations
Its been so long.
Just so, we are nomore chained
and as we part, .............................
(Please let's spend all day together)

के छ र भनी बाकीँ, मेरो सामु आई उभिन्छौ
मेरो मन रेटेर, भएभरको माया निचोरेर
थोपा थोपा सबै चुहाईकन
मेरो दिल तोड्ने अनुहार बोकेर
किन फेरि के खोज्न आईपुग्यौ?
तिमी मन पर्न छाडेको जुग भईसक्यो।

ती दिन सब भुलिसके
जब तिमी मलाई अप्सरा लाग्ने गर्दथ्यो
तिम्रो आवाज मात्र सुनेनी मेरो पेट भर्दथ्यो
डाईटिङ् साईटिङ पनि गर्न छोड्यौ कि कसो
बोली नि के भा' हो कोरेको चक्का जस्तो
तिमी मन पर्न छाडेको जुग भईसक्यो।

नाम तिम्रो रिता कि गीता नि बिर्सिसके
खासमा त तिमीलाई म चिन्दैचिन्दिन
अब जति बाटो छेके नि छेक
नेपाल बन्द चक्काजाम जे गरे नि गर
अनसन बसे नि तिमीलाई बाल दिन्न
तिमी मनपर्न छोडेको जुग भईसक्यो।

उदेकलाग्दो कोलाहलबीच हराएको अस्तित्व
चिच्याउछ मन, अदृश्य श्वर गुन्जाइकन
फेरि प्रश्न तेर्सिन्छन हरेक कोणमा
कता हराइस् यति बेर, कता खोजिस् र आफुलाई
म अवाक् नै हुन्छु, केही बोल्न खोज्दाखोज्दै बिलाउछु
एकपल उदाएको अस्तित्व पनि,
म सक्दिन अमर बनाउन
सायद सिकीसके अदृश्य भई रमाउन

अर्को मन सम्झाउन खोज्छ र भन्छ
कल्पलोक तेरै हो, तेही लोकको राजा होस्
यता शून्य अस्तित्व उता महलमा रमाउदो छ
संवेदनाको जगमा ठडिएको कल्पकृति
फुरुंग भई आकाश तिर हुत्तिन्छ
अनि म यता नराम्ररी पछारिन्छ
यो चोटको पिडा विशम छ सहन
सायद सिक्दैछु बिस्तारै आफुसंगै हराउन

तिम्रा शब्दहरु मग्न भई सुनिदिंदा
तिम्रो प्रशंसा अरुले गरिदिंदा
लजाउदै तिमी मुस्कुराउँदा
अनि मैले हो मा हो थपिदिंदा
तिमीलाई सुमित बढि भएको हैन?

खाजा खाई नखाई रिजार्ज गर्थे
तिमीसगँ कुरा गर्न मरिमेट्थे
बाहाना बनाई तिमीले फोन काट्दा
चित्त दुखेनी तिम्रैलागी सहिदिन्थे
तिमीलाई सुमित बढि भएको हैन त?

च्यातेको गन्जी लगाएर भएनी
तिम्रो फेभरेत किताब किनी किनी पढे
तिमीलाई भनी थुप्रै गिफ्ट पनि किने
तिम्रो बसस्टपमा तिमीलाई मात्रै कुरे
अनि तिमीलाई सुमित बढि भएको हैन?

उज्यालोमा तिम्रो वरिपरी घुम्नेहरू
भमरा बनी तिमीलाई चुम्न खोज्नेहरु
अधेरीमा एक्लै छोडी जाँदा
म आउथे, तिम्रो निम्ति भनी
त्येतिबेला तिमीलाई सुमित बढि भएको हैन?

दुई जिब्रे समाजले जिब्रो फेरिदिदा
तिम्रो नाममा कालो छ्याप्ने प्रयास गर्दा
म आई तिम्रो सामु उभिदिन्थे
तिमी सबै रिस म माथि पोखिदिन्थ्यौ
तिमीलाई सुमित बढी भएको हैन त?

मलाई लगेर हिलोमा जोतिदिन्थ्यौ
कहिले चिच्याएर त कहिले नबोली मुटु रेतीदिन्थ्यौ
तिमीलाई मेरो माया बढि भा'को हैन त?
तिमीलाई सुमित अति भा'को हैन त?

The strings of soft dusk breeze
connects your thoughts to me
And I vanish from the life

Shiny moon smiles low
Pretty stars fail to show
I am marching with my lies

You fly above the clouds
oh wind, fly me there above
The lights are all gone

The quilt of eiderdown
Covers my sorrow but mind
quickly dreams your face

I see wings on your arms
you call my name and
Lovely things of my eyes

My love by my side
Pleasant sights
walking down the lane

Candle blows, rooster crows
Sun rises over the realm
No more wings, no more you
the dream falls soft like snow

Hold my hand
Softly let us walk to place
where noone has ever been
just you and me, noone more
where lights are none
where darkness is gone
where we will shine with love
where our eyes gesture the roit in our soul
where our fingers tickle our emotions
where our lips won't find words
and our silence turns to poetry

कुन्ठित छ जगत् ,आ-आफ्नै दु:ख भुमरी
यो अज्ञानताबाट , हे वुद्ध, पार पाउ कसरी

यहाँ भेटिन्न रे सुख समृद्धि नभई व्यभिचारी
यो मायाबाट, हे वुद्ध, म आफुलाई बचाउ कसरी

म सुन्छु कतै पाइन्न शान्ति, युद्ध नगरी
यो युद्ध, हे वुद्ध, अन्त्य होला के गरी

रोग, मृत्यु, अाशक्ति, शोकले छन् सब व्याकुल
म खोज्छु , हे वुद्ध, तिम्रै शरणमा ज्ञानको मूल

(वुद्धमऽ सरनम् ऽ गक्षामीऽ
धम्ममऽ सरनम्ऽ गक्षामीऽ
संगमऽ सरनम्ऽ गक्षामीऽ)
http://www.buddhanet.net

There is something incredible about
the moon tonight
Its bright , beautiful and all
But today its not that
As the moon drift hiding and showing through the clouds
My heart is gradually tiptoed by sadness
an incredible sadness
and I know its you again
It makes me sad how the moon still shines with such luminosity
But we failed ourselves and our promises
Was it the same moon we sworn at
Was it the same sun that reflects through that moon
I do not understand why then we enjoyed our lies
danced at tunes that faded so abruptly
Floated around blue mimosas that fell with rain
why now the truth seems not right
why those mimosas blooms as ghost at night

But I tell you again, and for ages more
I still love you like certain dark things
liks breezes calmly gluing your memories to my mind
like the stars alinging with great art
to write your name in my heart
and the incredible sadness the moon brings
Because its you
You bring the best out of me
even the sadness.

I hate you
because I cannot love you anymore
From now, you are not my star eyed girl
Nomore I will see your image on moon
I am burning all the love I bought for you
Its cold like your heart which I broke
Or vice versa
I will not love you anymore
The season has changed
It hardly rains
But only you will lack my love
The dog in my neighbourhood
still wags his tail at me
The girl with braces smiles
at me, everyday, every morning
I smile back and I wait for her to
remove those braces
Now I hate you, I can kiss her too
I do not write love letters
which you said classic affection
I hate classics like I hate you
I am back to myself
only without half of me
But I do not miss you
Because the parrot in my home
still calls your name
My mother still thinks you will come
to see her
after you return to town
She still loves you, not knowing
you never left the town
Not me, I hate you

I like writing about only love,
almost love and beyond love
No love is greater than my love
No love is harder than my love
Because my love, I have always failed you
Am I asking much when I say
I am working on the plan to **** you
or if I say
I loved you once when your eyes
were blue
You came quietly to my surrounding
But you brought earthquakes and volcanoes together
when you entered my house
I failed you once and twice
But you failed me everytime
my love is hardest
because I never loved the idea of love.
of love, more than once
But I loved everyone except you
And not loving you killed me
and I am so fond of eyes on blue

We could have been together
for one more day
for one more night
We could talk
how sad it would be
How sad we all are
for things we lose
for people we care
for days that were sunny
You were gentle when you left
I wish you were gentle all the time
But you amaze me
with your blunt ways n sharp words
how could I fall in love with that
I will miss noone more
not your gentleness

१
म एक पुत्र
एक पति
र एक पिता हुँ
२
एक न्वारान
एक विवाह
र एक चिता हुँ
३
म एक होटल
एक बोतल
र एक प्याला हुँ
४
म एक श्रम
एक उत्पादन
र एक ज्याला हुँ
५
म एक इन्टरभ्यु
एक लामो क्यु
र एक क्यान्डिडेट् हुँ
६
म एक खाली बिल
एक खाली विभाग
र एक खाली पेट हुँ
७
म एक सभा
एक श्रोता
एक वाह
र एक ताली हुँ
८
म नेताजीको एक गीत
एक भाषण
र एक गाली हुँ
९
म एक जुलूस
ए उफ्र्याइँ
एक नारा
र एक झण्डा ह

I keep biting my nails
And I know I am sick
I like biting at myself
Cos' I keep pondering at things
I had been saving myself for you
But when I finally found you
I sold myself, I sold myself
I thought to buy some love for you
From love, I could not hide away
Sometimes I wish
You were little less precious
I keep biting my nails
I am broke from every way

After remembering you
for all these time
I have just forgotten you
I am happy for nothing
and I am sad for nothing

I try to remember
the eyes that swallowed me whole
with awe and ardor
and I remember eyes with tornados
where I lose myself in despair
I try to feel your lips
that tasted something like
soft cotton candies slowly melting on my mouth filling me with all the sweetness
and leaving marks on me, red and raw
and I feel my lips dehydrated n dry
like ancient ponds at the end of our locality
I feel my hands which feels like
it has at some point felt something
and I donot remember that touch

I have forgotten how you look
and every next lady walking down the street resemble you
Everyone smiles at me for nothing
I sit around the corner of the old broken bus stand
waiting for nothing
Just trying to remember if
we had ever shared any love here
My shoulders waiting for someone
to rest their head on it
My fingers trying to tiptoe over
arms n thighs, I suppose
I have forgotten you nice and well
May be this was the place where
you kissed me last time
before I started to forget you
But I do not remember who you are
I forgot you hard and bad

Rules:
1.You have to write a poem on the given prompt for each day [in the given order] and then share it with fellow challenge takers (optional but recommended) by posting what you wrote in your blog or on Facebook or wherever. To make sharing and tracking easier, you can use this hashtag: ‪#‎eleven11poetrychallenge‬
2. The poem can be of any length and the prompt can be interpreted anyway you want. Poems can be written in English or Nepali.
3. The whole idea is to write, share, grow and have fun! So if you are cool with it, check this space for daily prompt.
Prompts:
Day one: A poem from the perspective of an inanimate object
Day two: A poem in the format of a conversation
Day three: Write a poem that tells a story (with a beginning, middle, end..but not necessarily in that order), which is completely imaginary or is not based on a reality that YOU know of.
Day four: A wishlist, with 11 of your wishes.
Day five: Write a Haiku. Or two.
Day six: Let's talk about ***, baby! [Write a poem about *** (not *** and gender, '***' if we are unclear.]
Day seven: Only sixteen--a poem about the person you were when you were sixteen [or about the person you want to be, if you are not yet 16]
Day eight: A poem describing a photograph or painting.
Day nine: Write a letter to your murderer.
Day ten: A poem about your worst nightmare.
Day Eleven: Write a poem about yourself, in Nepali. IF you already write in Nepali, that is great. If you don't, then this prompt s your chance

What do you reflect in here, oh boy
with gentle spirits flying over your eye
What mysteries in here do you find
your eyes goggling confusing your mind
Scan it slow, peruse it mild
Regard it kindly, without going blind

Is it a desire waiting for chance?
The fire rising high with every glance
Do you see a person glaring at you
A graceful smile to reduce anger to few
If you see a mister gaping at wonder
Enjoy the questions surrounding in ponder
Fixate your stare, mine harder with glimpse
rubberneck your blinks, fly over realms

If that you must be ogling with greed
Let the bell ring to control your need
Be honest if you are leering at space
Contemplate your reflection, do not outface
Is it right, I think, you trying for peep
But there are mysteries shining deeper than deep
You can't just dip, You shan't just skim
Let mysteries glow real befo' you gloat in whim

म हांगो समाति उड्न खोज्छु
अनि पातसगैं झरेर सुक्छु
म बादल सगैं उडिहिड्छु
अनि झरीसगैं वर्षेर बिलाउछुँ

म सुकेको पात हुदांपनि
हावासगैं बहन सक्छु
म झरीसगैं वर्षेपनि
नदीसगैं बहन सक्छु

किनकी मलाई था'छ
म उड्न बनेको हुं
म एकदिन आँधि बन्नेछु
म बग्न बनेको हुं
म कुनैदिन बाढी बन्नेछु

म छुँ
वायु,माटो,जल,तेज,अग्नी
सबमा
म हुँ
एक अन्नत यात्रा

मेरो अस्तित्व शुन्य
म घुमिरहन्छु
न छ मेरो कुनै शुरूवात
न छ कही अन्त मेरो
मेरो जन्म यहीँ
मेरो अन्त यहीँ

म छु यहीँ
म छैन कतै

"I"-
my
own
worst
nightmare.

Walking alone
with some music
breeze whispering to trees
stars winking ceaselessly
alone with nothing but you
I have always thought
Why is mind so fond
of nights at dawn
of moon behind clouds
of clouds that has fallen
of face behind veil
of things we lose
of feelings untrue
What is so precious
about stones that shine-
only on light.

Future is uncertain, even the nearest
but in this uncertainty you are certain
to **** me
with your silent tortures
Dear Murderer,
Kiss me cold as I start boiling warm in your love
As my mind start thawing with anxiety
And as the fumes of my soul rises
above the silent hills
of those sealed lips
With rain falling of tears belonging
to crime undesired
Take me to the cave twisted with intentions
I shall follow your silence to eternity
Till my breath learns the silence
that hides what a mortal can never understand
And it was true
when I said
I will hold onto you even if it means following you to grave

I have some secret feelings
Which only I can feel
Which only I have known
And no matter how much something
relates, they won't ever be same
But I cannot write saddest lines like Neruda
nor can I get drunk like Bukowski
with these feelings of mine
They know no words
But they are master of silent dark tortures
Which only I know
When the night engulfs me whole
I shine with inhibitions
They dance over my skins like cataract
And I drown with condemn for myself
I get burnt under water and buried above clouds
And only I can feel it
No matter how deep I hide, these will never leave me
And I know this because I have tried
I sit beside window
My secret feeling glancing at me from moon
from stars, from clouds
and bullies me sometimes with gush of wind, sound of dogs
and engines tht rolls
late at night
The building with a light turned on
in one of the rooms
puppets my feelings with shadows
There lies two beings biting hard at my wounds
And I just sit at my window feeding them
With smokes of metaphors and alcohol of rhymes
Beacause only I can save me
which I fail everytime.
or only she can save me
And I am sure to die of this.

Barren like the salty dead sea
I crawled protecting myself
Stirring my path with just dust to collect
Among the crowd of Snow clad mountains-
mystical, magical, magneficient, cool-
I played symphonies of sorrow
with dead poetry salty to swallow
You came along to swim in my salty
ambience
my passion flowing down the gutter
started fluttering above moon
Girl, you became the metaphor
My poetry found solace in salt
With your mention all the dust I collected
turned to gold
of heaven made,Thy, prudent with smiles,
Be my angel
So sick of crawling beneath, you can
Make me rain over mountains

कुन्ठित वेग्रताको लगाम फुकाउदै
सल्केको चित्तमा वरफ जमाउदै
थोपा थोपा पानी पानी
तप्प तप्प जानी नजानी
सारा सृष्ति चुहिदैछ
उन्मादको घैटो रित्तीदैछ

न यो माया न कुनै संकल्प
न भूतको कोलाहल
न भविष्यको तत्परता
परिचय केवल क्षणभर निमित्त
उम्लेको पशूत्व पोख्ने आतुरता
प्रतिबिम्बित एक झलक शुन्यता

अनि फेरि मोलका कुर
अनमोल क्षणमा वेमेलका कुरा
संसारिकतामा फर्केको विकेकको सुरमा
समाजिक संस्कार र भगवानका कुरा.

Face to face,
Across the table with some complementary drinks
Anxiety clearly dancing at our legs
It been hour or so
talking about our favorite writers
the music that gives us solace
the taste of today's morning tea
how I ended up having boring day at office
how you had nothing much to say
the preparation for careers
our ex
our parents
our siblings
and the world in middle east
and some gossips from west
How we both hate Korean flicks
and Indian TV serials
but...
all these are delightful distractions
seems to work weak today
because the temperature have risen
the level of mercury beyond limits
and with my mouth talking whatever
finger tapping to hide some unknown violation
my eyes is glued at the tiny peek from
your low cut tops
My mind plays violin synchronizing
with the movement of your tight jeans which
gracefully captures the swaying hips
Why does your lips appear extra luscious today?
and why do I think I am someone else today?
Gasping at the breath I finally mutter
"let's talk about *** baby;
lets find some place, may be"
The question mark on your eyes gives a stare
Which was all needed to pull out the animal in me
I wink at you with the unique expression of lust
You know what I mean.
The desire fires the way it deems.

मायामा रमाउने हरेक मन हुन्छ
संवेदनाले त उन्मादपनि जन्माउछ
इच्छा तृष्णा सपना हुन्छ जोसुकैसगं
स्वतन्त्रता बुझ्न यी त्यागेर उड्न सिक्नुपर्छ

चैतको वेगसगैँ उडेका चाहना
मनसुनको बाढी सगैँ बहेर तुहिन्छ
यात्रामा लगाएको पिरती
गन्तव्य नजिक आइपुग्दा अल्मलिन्छ

हतारहतार नै त रित्याउने हो गलती
सुस्ततामा योवनले बैँस त्याग्नसक्छ
भोलीको भलाईको कसलाई के खसखस
आजको रात रगाउदैं जीवन सके नि सकिन्छ।

1.
Cluster of night light
Season of dark renaissance
Cloudy autumn spree

2.
Weeping Memories
Attuned Melancholic Scream
Dead and lost Spring

3.
Flutters of Dust Speck
Round around Nothingness
Milky Way Express

१.
ग्रीष्म शहर
धुलाम्य प्रतिक्षा-
अनवरत आशा

२.
टुक्रो कलम
निसास्सिएको मन
आधा कबिता

३.
उठेको काल
भरपेट आकांक्षा
चैते चाहाना

I wish today to write a poem
with eleven wishes in it
And before I do that I wish some coffee
to prevent my psyche from split

Such poor handwriting, should then
I wish for better calligraphy
And with all messy impromptu,
I wish to get a new copy

Sipping down the bitter taste,
I always wished to feel better
A wishlist without her mention,
It will just be a fiddle

There are whole lot of wishes,
I wish around and with her
Fitting them together with skip
Other wishes shan't be in hamper

Getting high inhaling nature
my wish further for solitude
How I wish to reach every creation
and fill them with gratitude

The poem just began
if I could wish more
Stupid ending happens
when my coffee is over

More coffee!!!!

As the clamor in the room grew more intense with high pitched curses and defenses against it, I could see my reflections lying shattered into pieces.

The first day it was brought in,I had felt some very unnatural anxiety circulating with every flicker of my light. It shone with me and inside it showed me. Had I ever thought that my reflections would be so clear to me? Not until I saw it for myself. And in it, I could see the whole world shining under my light.

She would get ready under my light asking her lucid image if she looked any better with the ear-rings he gifted her today. I could just stare at the sharp beauty that shone. Next day, she was extra joyous and had some pretty dresses for outing.

Days passed and may be years, Me with the mirror, we shared all the happy moments growing inside the room once filled with dilemma of solitude. Noises have started turning to moans and kisses flowered over the mirror. I was always available to ease things up. Under my light, love started to turn their emotions to actions and we grew fond of new member of the room who showed up every night and then who was there all the time.

I shared all these changes with mirror and in utter silence, we grew fond of each other. When you start reflecting yourself in someone else you, that grows into you as your own part. Every reflection is a turn back at the memories that string you life. We shared rushes and pushes, bends and highs, jokes and promises, smiles and fondling ; all as a silent audience but I was now more into mirror than myself and I chose things left to right than it actually appeared. Love makes you do silly things with utmost care.

But love gets infected with what should have never got into room of love. She was lying in total mess that day. Not that we hadn't noticed once lovely caress turning to curses but such things generally ended with some fondling and moonbeams that washed them away.

When he entered inside with a thud, we just shook with vibrations that traveled through wall. As the clamor slowly ceased down, the story began with my reflections shattered to pieces. I was searching in every pieces for one complete me and the story ends with me trying to collect my own pieces.

We were always made of same thing. Something is never realized until we are broken.

In me, In my heart
Gentle whispers of solitude
slips from the blue gaze slowing
turning black as you step by step
start to cease to exist.
My beats going awry,
My tongues slipped as I tried to speak
" was this all? "
Eternity changed its seasons.
The warmth in you began to freeze
And ice age was once again here
We spoke many things in silence
Things only we knew
And exchanged feelings
that would never actually become sounds
We could tear apart the world and
stitch it back exactly the way it was
But today was one of such day
when I didn't care to tear me apart for world
to bring you back
The endless gaze gradually fading
Were you even listening?
Were tears supposed to roll?
Numbness crept into me
when you whispered
"We have always drifted together"

I stare at the only way I see.
We shall always drift together.

यदि पाउने भए म माया गर्नेथे
मायाको अर्थमा मै कविता कोर्नेथे
ममा लेखिए शब्दहरू धेरै
प्रेमी देखि प्रियासम्म म पुगे घेरै
मेरोसाथ हिड्न फुल चुडिए धेरै
यदि हुने भए म आफै फुल्नेथे
यदि पाउने भए म माया गर्नेथे

जब मेरो निर्जिवतामा उनी सजिवता कोर्थे
म माया रैछु भनी म सोच्ने गर्थे
म बुझ्थे म भित्र दुई- एक बन्थे
लाग्थो मायाको मोल म बढाउँथे
यदि पाउने भए म माया गर्नेथे
लेखिएका हरेक वाचा म पूरा गर्नेथे
हरेक जुनी म उन्लाई नै पाउथे

तर, मन हुनेकै माया बिक्दो रैछ
अनि हरेक प्रहर सगैं यहाँ माया सुक्दो रैछ
हिजोको हासोँले आज पोल्दो हो क्यारे
कोहि माया सुकाउन नसकेर मसगैँ जल्दो रैछ
माया गर्न बरू मैले नै पो जाने,
म हरेस नखाई माया हरपल गर्थे
यदि पाउने भए मै माया गर्नेथे

माया मात्र कागजमा हुन्छ भनी लेखियो कतै
तर साच्ची , यदि पाउने भए म माया गर्थे
मुटु टुक्रिदा म आफू च्यातिन्नथे
बरू टुटेका हर मुटु म जोड्नेथे
रड्डि कागजबाट पुनः सदाबहार प्रम पत्र बन्थे
यदि पाउने भए म माया गर्थे
वियोग हैन, सम्योगान्त हुन्थ

Happy Tantra Diwash

सभ्यता र विकासको सदकमा आज
विस्मृतिका गाडीहरू हुकिएका देख्छु
सपनामा देखाईएका सुन्दर बगैँचा आज
कालो धुंवाले घेरिएको पाउछु
ठल्ठुला श्वरमा जोड जोडले चिच्याइएका
टोल टोल वस्ति वस्तिमा गुन्जाइएका
कहिले लोकतन्त्र कहिले प्रजातन्त्र
कहिले जनतन्त्र  कहिले गणतन्त्र
नामका अमृत वचनहरू आज सम्झिन्छु
सम्झनाको हरेक प्रहारसगं आत्तिन्छु
आत्तिन्छु म सोच्दै "के मैलेभाषाको अर्थ नबुझेकै हुँ त?"
"कुनै तिर्सनामा मैले गलत व्याख्या पो गरेको छुँ त?"

यदि हैन भने
किन स्वतन्त्रताको जन्जालमा अल्झिएको पाउछु?
किन सुक्दै छन् तिर्खाहरु
किन डबिन्दैछन् पाइलाहरु
किन म आफै देखि भाग्न बाध्य छु?
किन यति धेरै प्रश्ण छन् वरिपरि?
तन्त्रै तन्त्रको मन्त्र उच्चारहणले गुन्जायमान
भड्रगोल भई फात्तिएको छ किन यो सडक

यदि हो भने
धिक्कार छ सबलाई
यत्र तत्र छरिएका सपनाहरु
अझै तन्त्रैतन्त्रमा रुमलिएका आशाहरु
मलाई अनि तिमीलाई जसले तन्त्रहरु
कैयौँ जन्माए
तर मृत जन्माए।

म युद्ध लड्न चहान्छु
संसार एकातिर राखेर म सारा जगत
थर्काउन चहान्छु
राम्राको अनुहार कोपरेर
बोल्नेको मुख च्यातेर
चल्नेको हात खुट्टा भाचेर
सारा जगत मास्न चहान्छु
आइज सिङ्गल सिंगल॥

कुकुर होस् कि होस् बिरालो
सागरको मुनि होस् कि सगरको उकालो
मोटो, पातलो, होचो होस् कि अग्लो
चट्टान जस्तो साह्रो होस् या फुल जस्तो कमलो
केही, कसैलाई राख्दिन म बाकी ं
अाज, अहिले नै म युद्धको शंकघोष गर्न चहान्छु
चहान्छु हैन गर्छु। आइज सिंगल सिंगल।।

काचै खाइदिन्छु सबलाई
मलाई अघाए बाग्मतिमा ढलसँगै बगाईदिन्छु
तर कसैलाई आज बाकीँ राख्ने छैन
आज दया नि छैन माया नि छैन
कि म छैन कि तँ छैन
लाटो रिस उठेको छ
यो रिस खेर जाने छैन।
आइज सिंगल सिंगल॥

को हो अगाडी आइज!!!
मेरो पेट्रोल चोर्ने को हो?

Friedrich Nietzsche had once told
"Let us beware of saying that Death is the opposite of life.
The living being is only a species of death and a very rare species"

And I know exactly what it means.

I live with the generation
Not wanting to live
Our television shooting guns from Middle East
Our screens begging help from Africa
when America enjoys the Oscar and
Britain and Australia rambles about Ashes
I live with the generation
who think football is not a game but passion
who think war is not crime but just another compuer game
They are dead
They have been fairly killed

I live with the generation
whose dreams are Made in China
Advertised with British Accent
Available on Sale during one of the Christmas
And sometimes they fall from sky
I live with the generation
who have forgotten apple is actually a fruit
But they unfold apple for birthday twice a year
Who grows food on binary
Cannot separate beef from buff
And eat dust coated with sugar
They are dead
They have been fairly killed

I live with the genration
who are better aliens
My generation wants to find vampire for soulmate
They plant to fight against zombies
Our ninja cuts fruit
We are so anxious instead of praying
we run around temples
Even the birds are so angry because
George R.R. Martin kills all our favorite charaters
and Sheldon cooper can't be helped
Everyone thinks they are Sherlock Homes
But can't find socks for school
They are dead
They have been fairly killed

We hate mathematics because
they are not pop songs
We prefer walking almost ****
Maybe because we dont have AC on clothes
We extremely love our parents - in our wall
But we forget where they work
We make happy faces in window pane when sad
We kick street dogs when mad
And if they bite back, we **** them all.
**** dogs! We dont need them.
Cats rule the world.

We regret too much.
Earth is our burden.
We wait endlessly for apocalypse
We are dead.
We have been fairly killed
Drugged and Polished
Addicted to dying
And Saved everytime by our
- American Superheroes

About Me
I sell peace for money
I advertise hunger for donations
I live in a haunted house
Ghosts have stopped crossing my way
They cook in my kitchen and
are naked on my bedroom
I am not interested in blood
I need coffee to keep me alive
I inhale smoke to pump my lungs
I live near Mount Everest
Enthralled by Nuclear Bombs of North Korea
Not able to see Smokes from America
eating our Snow

And my greatest tragedy
I am in a country where
we need to be in queue
wanting to live
waiting to die

We have been fairly killed.
We still think the sky is blue.

For love in memory


Memories are sweet embrace on a good day
And the same shatter you down once she's away
Time is a memory that you string together
Good or bad, love once loved is remembered forever

Everywhere you go, you carry what's not your
Easy iffy shall **** you everyday in life here
Set your roots good below before you fly in love
For if you fall, let not you dry like thirsty dove

Love shall grow wild and healthy in its youth
And the same love,once old, be a sweet ripen fruit
Make a wish, oh good love, a wish for every lover
Let love once loved be lighted forever
Let memories be as sweet as once it was and even more
Let love once love be lighted forever

crow and crow

What is so fun about crowing?
Every morning the moon dissapears
Her trial still fresh
encircling the sky.
Not even sun can evaporate.
And with every new hour
I play a game-
Finder's Keeper.
Fun it seems.
One time I found a ring of fire.
A diamond engraved to its depth.
I kept it-
I tried to keep it.
I was left among ashes.
Treasure hunt, fun it seems.
But what is fun about crowing?
Every sound is fun,
when in silence,
you are haunted.

With my head
still on my bed
I try to peek out for new lights
for new inspiration
for new myself
among the crowds of desolate.
Everyone is excited about some new year.
Me too.
and I look back at the old year
and the older one
more older one.
I remember my friends
the members of my family
the rags on the street
the kings of the doomed
Try to look at their old year and new year
everyone is happy.
much smile and happiness.
But they fear tomorrow they have to forfeit
what today they are celebrating.
even the newspaper.

I never celebrated the name.

Sleep paralysis


The pages of book fluttered
Shouldn't I be turning the pages?
(I must have thought.)
My hands paralysed and
my eyes pierced through pages
In the background someone screamed

The scream was getting louder
Slowly overshadowing all other noises
Shouldn't I look out if someone needed help?
(I must have thought)
I was running so fast and not a inch did I move
And suddenly someone was choking me to death

I must scream for help.
(I must have thought)

I was screaming.
I was running.
I was choking.


Thank you mom. right on time. phew!