Failed so hard in poetry
I became a lover of her words!!

My number is blocked
I am restless
helpless
sleepless
I am already sober
Nothing worked
14 whatever
**** this ****
I can't even seem to make any sense
I can't write when I need it most
jdfkydymhfdkh

"I"-
my
own
worst
nightmare.

Rules:
1.You have to write a poem on the given prompt for each day [in the given order] and then share it with fellow challenge takers (optional but recommended) by posting what you wrote in your blog or on Facebook or wherever. To make sharing and tracking easier, you can use this hashtag: ‪#‎eleven11poetrychallenge‬
2. The poem can be of any length and the prompt can be interpreted anyway you want. Poems can be written in English or Nepali.
3. The whole idea is to write, share, grow and have fun! So if you are cool with it, check this space for daily prompt.
Prompts:
Day one: A poem from the perspective of an inanimate object
Day two: A poem in the format of a conversation
Day three: Write a poem that tells a story (with a beginning, middle, end..but not necessarily in that order), which is completely imaginary or is not based on a reality that YOU know of.
Day four: A wishlist, with 11 of your wishes.
Day five: Write a Haiku. Or two.
Day six: Let's talk about ***, baby! [Write a poem about *** (not *** and gender, '***' if we are unclear.]
Day seven: Only sixteen--a poem about the person you were when you were sixteen [or about the person you want to be, if you are not yet 16]
Day eight: A poem describing a photograph or painting.
Day nine: Write a letter to your murderer.
Day ten: A poem about your worst nightmare.
Day Eleven: Write a poem about yourself, in Nepali. IF you already write in Nepali, that is great. If you don't, then this prompt s your chance

Lack of sound is not silence
I have felt silence of kinds

I remember those days,
everytime I close my eyes-
We forced the voice out of lungs
We pretended to talk over things
We pretended to care the words;
words that promised us the future that would glitter among stars;
words that caressed the wounds that was infected by same;
words that just dropped and shattered with silence;
a dreadful silence-
A silence that just pierced our soul
filling us with more void.
Silence screeching and screaming breaking us apart inch by inch
until we finally lost all words fueling the void,
the dreadful silence

Today, I sit by the bank of the river
which drowned me with dreadful silence.
I wonder was there ever a boat that carried us both
or was it just a pieces of logs we held onto
the logs we believed so hard, so blindly
that someday they will turn into our boat of love
safely carrying us ,together, to our home.
I see you are here, as well.
Safer than ever.
Our hands don't hold together anymore.
Our voice has nothing more to say.
Even as we walk past each other
Our eyes hardly blink at each other.
I have known silence of kinds
This one is of better kind
I can calmly look at my open palms
without fearing to lose you...

I just gaze intently and sigh!

Amidst the flying colors , I absorb some red, yellow and blue
I mix them to create new art form on the walls surrounding me
I create happiness, I paint brightness
Its dark but I can still feel the light
You may say I am blind, but I still have memories
I circle around, I jump with joy
I hit my head and break my bones
Walls. Walls. Walls. I try to break them.
and finally when I finally crack them
I am all red and the yellow peeks inside
There I see now, all blue around
I forget them all as the times run
So consumed with the colors of the world
And then the memories slowing creeps
as the light dims
And brings dark to me again.

Her absence is my poetry

It was not memory but
mere imagination
A heavenly bud
Enticed by the beauty of earth
left its throne up above
In mountains it desired to grow
In hills it wanted to flower
In plains and pleatues
of everywhere in earth it needed to reach
dancing with sandstorms
swirling in hurricanes
floating along streams and rivers
meeting the waves of ocean
it was not dream
a mere imagination
a heavenly flower
encapsuled in golden vase
in world of dreams

What do you reflect in here, oh boy
with gentle spirits flying over your eye
What mysteries in here do you find
your eyes goggling confusing your mind
Scan it slow, peruse it mild
Regard it kindly, without going blind

Is it a desire waiting for chance?
The fire rising high with every glance
Do you see a person glaring at you
A graceful smile to reduce anger to few
If you see a mister gaping at wonder
Enjoy the questions surrounding in ponder
Fixate your stare, mine harder with glimpse
rubberneck your blinks, fly over realms

If that you must be ogling with greed
Let the bell ring to control your need
Be honest if you are leering at space
Contemplate your reflection, do not outface
Is it right, I think, you trying for peep
But there are mysteries shining deeper than deep
You can't just dip, You shan't just skim
Let mysteries glow real befo' you gloat in whim

All those love cliches feels like some new enlightenment
And those love quotes seems like written just for me
I am searching again for that long-deleted love song
Absolute Alexithymia which I feel now...
I wish to borrow those cliches one more time
just for you and make it last forever more! <3 :)

I am always asked to
Stop it. Let go.
People are kind and open
at asking to do things
impossible, undesired
without leaving other options
I am asked to stop
Love, I wish I could
Love, I wish, I really do
I should have never
loved the one who would
try to block my fountain of joy
Love, I wish I could
After all, I owe you
You made my heart
do the best it could
feeling the worst it ever should
You made my heart jump in flames
You made my heart shrink in melancholy
You make my heart desire more of your denial
Love, I wish I could really
Stop loving you
I wish to let go
Love, once love was all I needed
now love is most uneasy conversation I have
Everytime they talk love
You make me realize
How bad
I am in it
love, if only I could
I think I should
erase all that carries you

the dust bloomed amidst the green
the shadow rose and parted from me
and me, i stared inside
i was hallow all in between..
i was not me for what I mean
i was only puppet to be..
...-"no turning back" was the decree
a gush of suction from my queen
with love and affection
set me free . OM!

Subtle beast within thy beauty sleeps
Your gentle smile hides the smirk beneath
Tenderly your movement blocks my wind pipe
The poison of your kiss gives me desire to live

Around Mayadevi Temple (Circa)
Surrounded by pillars of our age
Cultivated with reminiscence of a
graceful child and his mother
Smiling ruins reflecting the history
A child of destiny who stepped in
with his seven birth steps over lotus
A tribute from Ashoka,
Cylindrical pillar inscribing his regards,
To the one who chose world enlightenment
over easy royal luxury,
To the one who turned him knight of peace
from emperor of wars.
No Shoes Allowed Inside
Leave your turbulence and rush out the gate
The chanting of mantras will cool down your hot head
The cameras of tourist will bring smiles to face
And at reflection on sacred pool,
Where Mother Mayadevi shed down her motherly sorrows
Over the transformation of Beloved Prince to Holy Buddha,
Let you find the lost purpose in ripples of calmness
The place where Sidhhartha played as child
and grew up to be Light of Asia
Nurture again the true purpose as for being Human
For Peace , For harmony, For Love
As you nap under revitalizing shades of Peepal trees
Inhale today, the air that whistles your resolves
Inside garden of peace, Around Mayadevi Temple

I wanted to get drenched
as you were evaporating
I wanted to roll over moss,
as you gathered seeds of clouds
There, watching up
I was all this time waiting for you
to fall as rain
I was all this time waiting for you
To drench me in your raindrops
of love, shining like vinyl of rash
To fill my eyes - dry with desires,
of sparkles, twinkling with sun after rain

But you made me realize,
after seeing you today,

I was only a grain of sand,
gliding recklessly over mountains,
desperate to catch you
feel you
touch you
hold you
reach inside you
and then just falling down to the sea
with no moss, just salt, all salt
sinking down, gradually

We were never made for each other
May be.


Deeper and down,
In dark, there I find you
I am inside you.
you are all around me.


(A stone can't set the sail, but it can reach the depth)

The raindrops fall over me as the flowers calls for spring
I watch at the tip of my nose; since how long
Since how long have I been staring, I know not
And I carry with my thoughts - your thoughts
I carry in my heart- your heart
You, Your tiny bits of memories
You, your heavy bits of silence
You, your sparse bits of words trying painfully to pull yourself away from me
And as I move backward
I get to see hollow sentiments
You see selfishness
How strange can love feel
How regretfully can these hearts fall apart
If only someone would give me anything
that could put my heart at ease
That would be the only thing you deny
Won't you love me too?
In this cold autumn rain, won't you take me home?
Will there ever be my heart that won't carry you

I cumber into invisible *****
at the corner of my solitude
When I see my path ahead
so full of crowds
waiting for me to bring them
the flower of heaven
they seem so happy
and I can hardly smile looking
at their eyes
There is a wild mushroom
inside my head
everything seems so beautifully frightening
I feel why Plath couldn't ask for more
Courage feels so heavy
that comes naturally with spines of belongings
and there is so much darkness ahead
if only I had a light of in my dreams
a desire that outshines my fear
Can't just forget this warmth
blowing out the clouds from mouth

You don't like people only when they are nice to you. Sometimes nice is not enough. Sometimes, you need someone who can bring out the wildfire in you and in that wildfire is where you get to burn your self-deceit and reveal your true colour. That keeps your heart in calm at times and That's more nicer than nice.

Barren like the salty dead sea
I crawled protecting myself
Stirring my path with just dust to collect
Among the crowd of Snow clad mountains-
mystical, magical, magneficient, cool-
I played symphonies of sorrow
with dead poetry salty to swallow
You came along to swim in my salty
ambience
my passion flowing down the gutter
started fluttering above moon
Girl, you became the metaphor
My poetry found solace in salt
With your mention all the dust I collected
turned to gold
of heaven made,Thy, prudent with smiles,
Be my angel
So sick of crawling beneath, you can
Make me rain over mountains

I do not remember my dream from last night
or nights before
I do not even remember if ---
I have been dreaming
Since days and past, i have been sleeping late and waking early
****-a-doodle-doo then
I try to remember unconscious or
semiconscious activities happening around when i was deep with sleep
...My memories do not agree for me

What happened to the dreams
of my childhood--- what was my childhood dream
or those dreams of achieving something-- something
I wanted to buy,  something very bad
something I do not quite remember now
Where was the place I was destined for
My brain is losing its nerves
What was it I wanted to become!

Pinch me!
Pinch me--- Oh, reality!
I turn my pages of my private dream journal
Someone seemed to have robbed my letters off the pages
I panic and I slap myself
I panic and I bang my head
I panic and I scream out my lungs
I panic and I call for help
I panic and I ask
"Why are you all laughing at me?"
I panic for now they are declaring my mad
I panic trying to run around and hide
I look at the mirror to find no one inside

Why me? .............................!
Is it me who forgot my dreams?
oh me!
or my dreams who abandoned me?
****!
Or were they just snatched away?

Who was searching for whom
Still shivering
in certain madness
An agony burning but in ice
when was it that eyes met but
never did dreams

Who were you when
we crossed our way
In quivering desperation
Still falling under the feet of fate
we crossed and only I noticed
I noticed and never did you

Under the dustless sky
Stars fall under your eyes
and only I noticed, never did you

It was you so strange
A stranger blowing hollow horns
and only I noticed, never did you

And what was it that got crushed
and only I noticed, never did you

who is who and who needs what
what was it when everything turned to dust
noone noticed, breaking right in two

I am null lost in chaos
chaos of motions and emotions
I am chaos lost in null
null in absence of idea and will
I am lost in between chaos and null
I have befriended nonsense
sense doesn't make me good boy anymore
I was good at maths
I wasnt good with words
I am not me anymore
I am a small area without dimension
I was happy with what I got
I don't have me anymore
I am sorry to myself
I want to blame everyone for me being me
for me not being me
I want to cry and swim in pool of my tears
I want to roll down the hill and hit my head
I was a tree
I was a baby
I was a something
I am just nullness of chaos
I am me and I can't be me.......

I keep biting my nails
And I know I am sick
I like biting at myself
Cos' I keep pondering at things
I had been saving myself for you
But when I finally found you
I sold myself, I sold myself
I thought to buy some love for you
From love, I could not hide away
Sometimes I wish
You were little less precious
I keep biting my nails
I am broke from every way

Nowhere to go
Sad and lost
Brown little fox

I have seen you wither
in the spring
When I was sweating
Or was it just me
drowning in my own feelings

I wanted the love we wanted
What did you want
Please tell me

Love waits to grow
And I wait to show
my heart bleeding

Will you just come back
and hold the pieces falling
apart
Should I fly to you
with the pieces falling
apart

Can love wait to grow
when the heart waits to stop
Can you wait some more
and hear me say good bye
But I will wait
sliding down the rainbows
Waiting for you to fall

Never get drenched in rain
when the sun is bright
behind clouds

I do not wish to complicate it with more words
I cannot put it properly in words
So, if you want to know or feel, then read my silence
feel my eyes which tries so hard to hide
and hold my hands to feel my heart.
When you feel , then you know;
The feeling is simple, ---------------- I miss you
More than the dry lake misses the drops of water
The mountains that took pride on crowns of snow
- Now which stand barren and brown
I miss you
like flooded desert misses the dust
like barren land longing once more for green
like blue sky waiting for stars
like dark night waiting for sun
Without you, no place is right and nothing is okay
Like the autumn season regretting for leaves it has shed
I miss you and you know the feeling is really simple
You are like spring and the summer of the west
I miss you for nobody shook me so hard with the touch
Nobody could stir my heart ever with so much love
if you can feel, the distance should not matter.
Interest will make no difference
I miss you and that is all.
I love you and that is why.
That is why I keep scratching the cuts you leave, every time you cross my mind.

Past is delusional
Futures are misleading
But we have dreams
We have hopes
Belief is there and I-
I believe in you

Carry me home
To the place where I am child
And you are my heart
I cannot say anything more
I have nothing -
except this hope
That someday
You will carry me home
Where I am present
And so is my heart!

Sometimes when we cross
each other these days,
I almost forget
we are no more the same 'us'
But still we smile
talk, drink coffees
chating, mumbling, teasing
you talk about your ex
I also talk about you
And I wonder what is so funny
But in persuit of Living the Moment
I laugh with you
And nothing ever changed
We just lost each other
Must be the beauty of 'us'
With you at the opposite corner
All my memories of tragic aftermath
I hardly remember the frustrations
Its been so long.
Just so, we are nomore chained
and as we part, .............................
(Please let's spend all day together)

I
am not feeling
creative
in my
comfort zone

You can be sure of one thing
I want to be in love with you.

But my love for you
shall not be ordinary
My love for you
might neither be extraordinary
somewhere in between
somewhere beyond both

My love for you is like my love for starry night.
I can't have it every night
But its all I want when I am looking at it.

Like rain that turns to snow for the love of mountains
Like snow that melts on the warmth of sun
I want to be in love with every inch of your existence
Even if it means losing my own

I want to love you the way I am in love with loneliness
Alone but fulfilling

I want to love you like the way I am in love with destiny
It keeps me moving forward forever

Have no doubt about my love for you
You are the sun I love ,
that shines the light out of my soul

Like moon can't have sun and  still dances on it light.
I want to be that moon with all my dark sides hidden by your light.

I want to be over mountains,
just to see you,
with no veil in between,
to have no clouds between us.

I will write your name over snow
knowing-- it will melt down as river
down the plains of valley
where flowers of your name will blossom

I want to love you the way bees are in love with flowers
Without one, both wouldn't exist.

I will close my eyes laying down on your thoughts.
And my love for you ,
I will let it blossom...

I want to be in love with you
like silence loves music
I want to vanish in you just like that.

Since the day we met, I am struck and stung
From that day, my inside is singing this song
All I want to do is see you and hold you
I want to tell you, I think I love you

When you come near my sight
My senses pop out and I lose my mind
I want to hold your hand and make you smile
I want to talk with you and walk a million mile

When you look at me and you touch me, I get butterflies
Your words fill the empty space where my heart lies
This heart has been crushed and cut with knife
Your voice, so sweet to me, bring it back to life

I was smashed; my feelings were burned down to ashes
Frustration gulped me and I got serious depression cases
I was lost for very long hours of years
Scared, taunted and hollowed with fears

Now I can see the spark in your eyes
I have fallen for you, and it’s no lies
My blur life has changed to a beautiful bokeh
I want to confess I love you......................

crow and crow

What is so fun about crowing?
Every morning the moon dissapears
Her trial still fresh
encircling the sky.
Not even sun can evaporate.
And with every new hour
I play a game-
Finder's Keeper.
Fun it seems.
One time I found a ring of fire.
A diamond engraved to its depth.
I kept it-
I tried to keep it.
I was left among ashes.
Treasure hunt, fun it seems.
But what is fun about crowing?
Every sound is fun,
when in silence,
you are haunted.

My love,

I heard people saying
Life is a roller coaster
with ups and downs
with turns and bumps

I believe, With you beside
Life is a merry go round
It rotates through everything
but centers the bliss!

Upon the winter melancholy
Shimmers effervescent sparkles
of blue dew drops edging on grass
the sun is here. so long again

my hazy eyes had a glow, subtle
A deep inrush of woeful air
polluting my blood reached my heart
The sun once shined, so long!

Feelings are easy thing to deal
Remember when the young sun shone
the luster which it possessed, bright charming gentleman
scramble your memory and open your eyes to mirror
gone. like speck of gold dust.
Feelings are easy thing to deal
hard is not to feel.
when the old guy sam asked
"when was the last time we kicked some *****."
scratch your head to find no blood to spill.

CLOSE YOUR EYES
Take a deep breath in.
HOOOLDD!
Breath out!
Declaration:feelings are dead.only memory lived!

Inter-wreath souls communicating in silence
Despairing distance just making it more intense
Slow dancing fumes of proximal hazy memory
Flashing lights of the destined future glimmery

Fateful rendezvous of unprepared agitation
Acquiesced drift along the preordained creation
Out of the blue we fell in love,now suffocatingly confined
And why love, the grey shade concealations so refined

With silence, we endowed recentful persuasion  
With lectures, we plundered for destined evasion
My love, we lived love for life sustained both
Now we travel opposites as we found loathe

So long, what we came together for
So long, to our ever enjoyed rapture

A tiny flame of desire burns you inside
No, Not friction due to lack of space
but space in-between full of violent turmoil
your dreams are high and you are weak
You want to walk alone
Be there on the top alone but crave for slaves
slaves to hold same desires and puppets to your mood-swings
You shout them words and You cry alone
You scratch your brains out, your visions blurs you blind
you cannot want but to want just little warmth
but desires inside burns your inside
its not them , but just you inside

Desperated soul rising low in crude hours
In dance with tunes of discarded symphonies
I know its time with parasitic inception
Time which can never change again
You may think this was all meant to be
I may smile and walk the other way
But the interwined souls are never on release
None has seen the solitude that watches both
Lonely hours in parks, I spend today
The giant of giants setting its sail
Innocent breeze filling me with malaise
The benches broken and the weeds uncut
Old couples reliving their prime in solace
New sailors of the sky with splashing eyes
How everything points back to time together
Clueless how everything relates
All the curls and turns ending right at you
I may say, this was all meant to be
You may smile and walk miles away
Do onto others what they do to you

Strange way how the life works
Or may be just I think a lot
Sometimes I just want to thank life
For all it has bestowed me with
And there are times like this
When I want to smother life
For one thing it didn't make happen

Chain reactions or desperations
Lots of wind has blown
Clouds dusted and cleared
Snow fell and flowed down the valley
And there is always one "you"
If only life was little kinder
....

Memories pinches like heart burns
Regrets are not the right thing now
I ruined my thoughts for someone else's
There is a shadow behind every laughter
There is fear under the blanket
There are thoughts that keeps me forgetting my present
Dragging me to the past
....
All I am writing this
Because only pen can relief me from all these

Baby,
May be you are the only one
I can dream of
or May be its you I choose.

In my dreams.
'I' am real
'You' are real. 'We' too, sometimes.

As you slowly dwindle
Reality ***** me. hardships.
I hear them saying
you. are my greatest mistake
if so, i say to myself,
i would repeat it till forever.

my destiny takes pride on you
my greatest mistake.
And I still go back to times
we made mistakes together.
to cherish forever. estranged.

Well!
Dreams are made in heaven, just saying.
So are far from reality.

I named you moon
And Stars , Also Flowers
I named you with everything I could
Touch, Hear, See and Feel

Night after Night
The moon is wanning out
Like the splendour you once had

Day after Day the snow is covers the green
Yellow,Red and colors of life
its cold in your absence

But it just gets warmer
the eternal flame you ignited
with every smiles crossing my mind

I exist
Do I need to prove it?
I exist
*Isn't that more than enough?

I like writing about only love,
almost love and beyond love
No love is greater than my love
No love is harder than my love
Because my love, I have always failed you
Am I asking much when I say
I am working on the plan to **** you
or if I say
I loved you once when your eyes
were blue
You came quietly to my surrounding
But you brought earthquakes and volcanoes together
when you entered my house
I failed you once and twice
But you failed me everytime
my love is hardest
because I never loved the idea of love.
of love, more than once
But I loved everyone except you
And not loving you killed me
and I am so fond of eyes on blue