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jennifer ann Jul 2014
me and you,
we're sisters,
in more ways than one,
though, no one would would ever know.
when all is said and done.

maybe it was all of the damage,
that made everything so hard to manage.
& made it so easy for me to run.

sorry, it's not easy for me to forgive you,
and to have a better relationship with you,
but i love you deep down inside,
andwe've both made alot of mistakes through the years,
but i know that you tried.

maybe someday,
we'l be, just like the sisters on tv,
and you'l call me just to see how i am,
and we'l be closser you and me,
just like jackie and roseanne.
jennifer ann Jan 2015
ok i started this short story called paranoid? in october, i didnt like the turn i made it take and i decided to rewrite some of it. it's about this girl who can see the paranormal, but everyone thinks that she is insane including herself. her twin brother died at a young age and they were very closs, he needs to move on to the other side but in order to do this he needs her to move on and find herself so he visits her frequently and she thinks that it is all an illusion. i know that this is not ever going to be a best seller or anything but i decided that i want to keep writing it because i reall enjoy writing stories. so if you want to read any of my stories i'm going to put them in the collections. Any feedback would be very apreciated, thank you.
im also going to keep writing cinderella, a twisted sort of events.
jennifer ann Jan 2015
i dont want to cry anymore. i dont want to scream.
im tired of  living in doubt & fear, im so sick of being here.
i lay awake in bed until i slip into a bad dream.

thunder & lightning striking as i cry out your name,
but your nowhere to be found, all i can see is rain.
weak and weiry in a world so cold and dreary,
i will never be the same. broken by all of this pain.




i search for you, but only find more questions, pain and confusion.
stranded, abandoned, on this miserable plain that i have landed
tell me is this real? or just another illusion???
inspired by a nightmare i had a few nights ago
jennifer ann Jan 2015
whatever happened to the days of hope, and laughter?
im haunted by the memories that happened slowly after, im a disaster,
all of those days have gone away, just memories of yesterday.
and you cant hug memories or call them on the phone,
i guess that you dont  miss me, and thats why im all alone.
i'm not going to lie, sometimes i really need a friend,
sometimes this nightmare of mine, feels like it will never end.
i guess nobody cares, when all is said and done. sometimes i fear
my ending will not be a happy one.
jennifer ann Sep 2014
"moving on & moving in"

Charlotte sighed as she looked around her bedroom in the attict. there had been nothing left for her in the small town anymore. nothing but haunting memories, dark and blurry. reminders of her losses. & all of the things that could have been, should have been, and now never would be. memories that she used to treasure, now almost non-existant. & she hadn't been sure if it had been from all of the partying, or if it had been her minds way of trying to protect her from them. charlotte sealed up another box with tape which read "posters". so far charlotte had packed 8 boxes, 6 of which read posters aswell. all four walls had been covered with them, posters of beautiful places, song lyrics, and all of the rockstars that she adored. shaun morgan, kurt cobain, aaron lewis. joey ramone, alice cooper. she had basically spent all of her time there since Charlies death. listening to music, getting lost in the words of her favorite artists and authors. or poems and stories that she would write herself. when charlie died, charlotte checked out. almost as if she had died right along with him.
jennifer ann Aug 2014
my scarred and broken heart, is surrounded by barbed wire.
tell me that you love me, and ill swear that you're a liar.
ive been wounded so many times, that my trust has been destroyed.
along with my sanity. so cynical, and paranoid. 
 
i walk through this cold and crooked world, with anger in my tired eyes,
my hand clinched in a fist, i live a sad and lonely life, in your eyes i barely even exist, i feel like a shell-shocked soldier, just waiting, and praying for the battle to be over, but it all just feels so hopeless. constantly weighed down by this chip on my shoulder.
always keeping you at bay, please dont blame me, it's society, that has tragicly taught me to be this way, please stay.
jennifer ann Oct 2014
paranoid chapter 1


Charlottes p.o.v

i cry until im sick, coughing and short of breath. i cry hysterically. i feel like i have been hit in the chest with a stray bullet. and i dont look up until i can't feel him there anymore. eventhough i know deep inside that the illousion of charlie will come back, it always comes back... nomatter where i am. busses, street corners, asylums. mom and dad think that if we move far away that everything will change. that i'll stop seeing charlie. that i'll be 'miraculously cured'. that they'l finaly have there daughter back. and that they will finaly be able to move on, and stop grieving the loss of their only son. i don't blame them, everything in the old house reminds me of charlie, too. but i know that when we move that nothing will change, that theres no hope for me, that i'm just as dead as he is. but thats not what hurts the most. what hurts the most is knowing that i'm going to let them down, and destroy any little bit of hope that they might have had for me. i am nothing but a burden. and there is nothing that i can do about it. i cry until im tired, and i slip into a deep sleep.
jennifer ann Oct 2014
chapter one. moving on and moving in.

Charlottes long crimson red hair hung over her face as she wrote in her journal. sitting on her queen sized bed infront of her bedroom window. a cold gust of wind blew through her long locks, sending chills up and down her spine. then she saw him.. sitting in an old apple tree infront of the house. the same apple tree that they had played in together as children, with the old tire swing hanging from it. charlie sitting there, and staring at her sympatheticly, with a dull wave. like nothing ever happened. like he hadn't been dead for 2 years. as she stared out of the window, her heart pounding, her hands trembling , to paralysed with fear to even scream, or run. she watched him mouth the words "i'm sorry." as he hung his head in shame, nervously kicking his feet back and fourth. Charlotte gasped and quickly slambed the window shut. her big green eyes swelling up with tears she placed her head in her trembling hands and began to sob uncontrollably. suddenly she felt a presence in the room and a cold finger tapping her shoulder. too terrified to look up, she closed her crying eyes and burried her head in her hands as she felt a cold hand pat her on the shoulder. and then she heard a very faint voice cry out  "i'm sorry."
i know this is kind of lame i was just bored & felt like writing lol
jennifer ann Oct 2014
i am in a steele cage, the bars are cold and rusty. the cage is surrounded by barbed wire. i can hear a man hysterically laughing in the distance. but i cant see him,it's dark and i am surrounded by fog. where am i?   the laughter is sadistic and malicious. i grab the bars and pull them as hard as i can the barbed wire digging into my palms, i begin to bleed. i try to scream but nothing comes out. my eyes widden with fear. and the laughter gets louder. like it's taunting me. i begin to cry and i open my mouth to scream but nothing comes out and i begin to cough up blood. blood spills from my mouth like a horrifying flood and i stare down at my ******, trembling hands in terror. suddenly i see a face make it's way out of the fog. it is a man with dark shoulder length hair and a beard. he wears an army jacket, old tattered blue jeans and black work boots. his stare is cold and blank. and i feel like his souless black eyes are slowly ******* the life out of me. he laughs in my face and i cover my eyes in terror.

i awake in shock. my heart races, my hands shake. i still feel like i'm in the nightmare. i take a deep breath and close my eyes. letting out a deep sigh.
jennifer ann Oct 2014
i sit in the passenger side of my dads old beat up chevy. it's early october and the rain is pooring down hard, i will be 18 soon. my fathers eyes widen and he stretches out his neck as we stumble upon a burning building. "looks like there must have been some kind of accident." he says sympatheticly. there are fire trucks and ambulances. people surround the building in tears, some wrapped up in blankets, and some hugging one another. but there is one woman who looks very lost, and out of place. she stares up at the building in confusion. her hair is very long and itlooks as if she hasnt brushed it in weeks. her skin is very pail and she wears a pink nightgown, covered in flowers. she looks very feeble and fragile, and as if she might be in her laight 80s. "she didnt make it" someone in the crowd crys out.  the woman stands out, like she's in a fog. and the crowd doesnt even notice her presence as they console one another. the woman turns and looks at me and my father as we slowly drive by. her stare is eerie and unsettling. something about her presence makes my heart feel heavy. and i can't seem to shake the feeling even after she is nolonger in sight. i look back at her, and she's still watching me.  i raise an eyebrow and turn my head back around and sigh. "how terrible."
jennifer ann Oct 2014
my father sighs "it is terrible, all of those people have lost their homes now... we should be thankful that we have a roof over our heads and clothes to put on our backs, im sure that all of rheir belongins were damaged in that fire." i nod sadly. he has a devistated look in his eyes, my father cares deeply for others. hes very sensitive and things effect him alot more than others. i guess thats where me and charlie got it from, because now i have the same devistated look in my eyes. "did you see the little old woman with the pink nightgown on?" i question. "she looked so lost."
"no, i didn't see an old woman." my father replys with a look of confusion, devistation, and concern. "how could you not see her? she stuck out like a sore thumb." i sadly reply. "she kept watching us..."
"charlotte." my father turns and looks into my eyes, his voice is calm but very serious and stern and he looks shocked and bewildered "there was no little old woman."
jennifer ann Oct 2014
i roll my eyes, shake my head and let out a deep sigh. "no dad... she was there. just because you didn't see her there doesnt mean that i'm just 'crazy and making it all up in my head'" i snickered.   but does it? "im so tired of being judged and treated like some kind of fragile phsychopath. thats all you see when you look at me, you dont even know me anymore.. you don't even try. you leave that up to all of my councelors, and ****** therapists" i shake my head in frustration "i'm not crazy" i say, almost as if i'm trying to reasure myself. "charlotte... i, i dont know what to say." my father is lost for words and completly and utterly broken. "i've always just wanted what was best for you and your brother but somewhere along the line i must have failed you" i stare into space, nearly bursting into tears. i've never felt this guilty in my entire life.
jennifer ann Nov 2014
Charlotte sat in her queen sized canopy bed in her attict bedroom, her crimson red hair hanging over her face as she scribbled in her journal. her hands trembling. her pulse racing, overwhelmed with sadness, and anxiety.

dear journal,

i feel like an ant in the ocean, being tossed every which way by multiple tides and ruthlessly ripped apart. i feel useless and hopeless and confused. nothing ever gets better, only worse. and i feel so tired and beaten down by life. i just want to give up, because i dont have any fight in me, not anymore. im too damaged. i'm 18 years old and i feel like i've had enough of life. & that it's too laight for me. i dont want to live this life anymore .


charlottes p.o.v
i walk down the stairs and into the kitchen to get a glass of water. only to walk in on my mother and father watching the 10 oclock news, i see the apartment building on fire and all of the people standing around it hugging talking and crying. and then i a reporter comes on. "sophia ryan, 87 year old resident passed away in this fire. not only did the residents of this apartment building  lose all of there belongings but a closs friend as well." a picture of the old woman is now on the screen. it's her. my eyes widen and my hands begin to shake. i drop the glass that i was holding and it shatters all over the kitchen floor. my father jumps and looks back at me with fear and confusion in his eyes.
jennifer ann Dec 2014
"charlotte, are you ok?" my father questions. i'm looking up at the television, still stunned. it cant be. she was found dead on the scene, she had a severe lung infection, and inhaled far too much of the smoke from the fire. she didn't make it out of that apartment building alive, but i saw her... "um..i'm fine, just rediculously clumsy thats all." i nervously lie, quickly grabbing a broom and sweeping up the glass. and my father looks at me like i'm some kind of alien from outer space that he can no longer reach anymore. and somes i wonder if there is anything to reach for. maybe i'm just a mouse going through a maze that never ends, always hoping my piece of cheese will be around the corner but only finding another berrier or a path way that is going to lead me absolutely nowhere.
jennifer ann Jan 2015
suddenly i begin to feel very cold. the hairs on my arms stand up and i feel someone standing behind me. i ignore it and keep sweeping up the glass until i feel an ice cold breath upon my neck. my eyes widen and i turn around very cautiously, it's her. she is very pail and has the sadest blue eyes i've ever seen. she looks so fragile and lost. i back away quickly as she slowly walks toarge me. "where am i?" she asks tilting her head in confusion. i am completly and utterly terrified. "i want to go home... i'm very afraid" she continues. my stomache starts to turn and my eyes fill up with tears, i can feel her sadness and it is overwhelming. i slamb the broom down and run as fast as i can. "charlotte, whats wrong?" my mother jumps. "where are you going?" i don't anwser her i just keep running. i don't think that she would understand if i told her that there was a dead woman in our kitchen asking me where she was. that's highly unlikely. our dog ottis begins to bark and wimper, the sound of his barking and my mother and fathers questions dround out all of the thoughts in my head as i run out of the door. i gasp for air and look back at the house, and the little old woman is standing there with my parents looking at me curiously. i blink and there is charlie sitting up in the old oak tree, looking down at me sadly. i run down the street, my father and mother calling after me. this is a nightmare. all of the neighbors watch me from there porches and windows. some look sympatheticly, others with disguist. i shake it off and keep running, unfortunantly, i've become used to this.
jennifer ann Jan 2015
i like nintendo, and i like bud,
i like music, and paul rudd.
jennifer ann Oct 2014
ambulance sirens wail.
as i stagger to the door.
dried up tears stain my cheeks.
pills scattered on the floor.

bruises cover my body,
and i can barely breathe.
remembering your final words,
as i begged you not to leave.

my head is pounding,
my stomache turns,
all of my insides ache and burn.

they rush me to the hospital.
where i sit on a hard cot, with nothing
but a thin blanket,
no i've never felt more alone.
im treated like a prisoner here.
you'd think that i'd feel more at home.
jennifer ann Aug 2015
i was far too kind,
i was far too blind,
insignificant in your eyes,
and it didn't register at all
in my mind.

you're so pretentious and cold,
you think that you're so deep.
you say that i sold you out,
& that i'm just a brainwashed
sheep.

you're only compassionate
when it's convenient for you,
if anyone knows that, it's me.
just a selfish *****, a low life ****,
with a **** personality,
no integrity, or originality.


you will never be kurt cobain,
or layne staley..., sorry to crush your dreams....
but you're just another clone,
in a flannel jacket,  and ripped jeans...

you rant on and on
about what's right and wrong,
please give me a break,
and no, you're not edgar allen poe...
you're just a ******, with an over inflated ego...
you're so low, and fake.
jennifer ann Dec 2014
i promised you i'd go to the end of the world and back for you, but you drove me to the edge of a cliff. i held onto you, struggling as you pushed me harder and harder and closser and closser, you're my world but you make almost everyday feel like the apocalypse. i'm not strong enough anymore. and i'm terrified of what i might find at the bottom . you should be too. because when i fall off, i'm taking you with me.
jennifer ann Nov 2014
i cant fill the void, i cant pick up the pieces
they have been destroyed.
the world is cruel, my glass is half full, of *****.
trying to dround out all of the worlds negativity.
the demons screaming inside of me.

i am cynical, and mental, i have been abused.
i think i'm paranoid, i am so
damaged, restless, reckless and confused.

i have become completly mad,
i live alone, broken i rant and roam,
this darkness is the only light i've ever really had.
jennifer ann Jul 2014
if i speak about the way i sometimes feel,
then everything becomes too real.

they say i have to deal,
if i ever want to heal,
but i know that it doesnt matter,
i never really will.

its the guilt,
the pain,
and the shame,
that make me want to run

its the aching
the breaking down, and the blame, i may never overcome
jennifer ann Nov 2014
i can barely breathe
as i scream and cry,
fall to my kneese and ask god why?

it isnt fair, and its far too hard to bare,
wish that i could just lay down and die.

i tremble and i break, from how badly this
all aches.

i just need someone to hold me, i just need a friend, right now i just feel so beaten down, feels like this pain will never end.
jennifer ann Aug 2014
apreciate the world for all of its beauty,
& please dont dwell on all of the negativity,
eventhough society is cruel and ugly,
please remember my love, that you are lovely.

you're too young, to be so broken down and sad.
dont let bad people, make you feel so bad.

& i know, you have a million scars on your broken
heart, but its time to let it go, dont let toxic people tair you apart, its time to move on, be strong and let yourself grow.

lifes too short and too precious,
time flys by far too fast, dont destroy your
future, dwelling on your troublesome past.
hug more, fight less.
relax, and dont stress.
live every day like its going to be your last.

if i had a time machiene.
these are the things that i would tell myself.
at the age of seventeen.
jennifer ann Aug 2014
i tremble in fear, as i slowly dissapear, always waiting for something to go wrong, maybe im just crazy, because i've been here for far too long.

because living with her, only one thing is for sure, there will always be a problem, even if its only in her mind. her mind a dark and twisted blur, and there seems to be no cure. hope.
or anwser.

my mind has been shattered, and my heart has been toarn, for depression stole my mother away, long before i was even born. & its tragic to say, that i'd be better off without her around, because all of her madness & constant sadness, has taken its toll on my heart & soul, always wearing me down.

sometimes when she speaks,
i swear that i can hear demons taunt & shriek,
something evil taking over her,
leaving her sick, cold blind and weak.


and i resent her, for being selfish, and leaving me hurt and helpless, i resent her because as the world grew colder, she had been nothing but a weight on my shoulders, and never a shoulder to lean on.

and i still love her,
but i feel like she doesnt.

still i resent her for everything she is,
& because of everything that she wasn't.
jennifer ann Jan 2015
you make me sick, you selfish ****, you ******* *****.
just hit the bricks, you hypocrite, you *******, you idiot.
u mindless monster, u fill my heart with sorrow. spewing garbage like
theres no tomorrow. i dont need any negative vibes, im just trying to live
my life, i dont need any judgements, struggle or strife.  i dont need your arrogance.
or your put downs, always standing in my way, pulling me down with you with every
awful thing you say, what have i done, to anyone? im just searching for a better day.
im just trying to get by, im tired of crying, just want to feel safe and okay.
jennifer ann Jul 2015
i light up the fire to drape the black cloud that constantly hangs over my head with beautiful color.  my black hole becomes a caleidascope, i have beautiful day dreams and visions of hope. i have found serenity in smoke,
jennifer ann Oct 2014
i hate you for the scars you've left,
steeling my piece of mind,
i hate your ignorance, and your
weakness.
you're so selfish, cruel and blind.

i hate your judgements,
and your ego.
your so predictable, shallow and hollow.

and you hate me because im nothing like you,
but u cant steel my light,
because i figure that if you hate me,
i' must be doing something right
i was just bored writing
jennifer ann Apr 2015
demons screamin, in my head,
alone and broken, left for dead.
i scream for help, with a silent stare.
i waste away, not really here, still there,
shellshocked, and i'm going nowhere.

maybe if i smoke a cigarette,
it will help me forget, all of  my pain and regret,
maybe if i get high, i wont feel so broken inside.
maybe it will get better, and its just the weather.
maybe im just waiting for the sun to shine,

for this light that i cant find,
barely living a life that isnt mine,
because of the dark whirl wind that is my mind.


my head is  always in the clouds,
and the clouds are dark and gray,
im burried underneath them, they never go away,
theyre in my thoughts, they wear me down,
even on a sunny day, sometimes i wonder if
the rain and thunder is keeping you at bay.

sometimes i cry, and want to die,
and wonder why you stay.
jennifer ann Aug 2014
Bailey sat at the kitchen table. stiring her coffee and staring out of a ***** bay window at an old apple tree covered in snow. "i guess that all of the birds have flown south for the winter." she sighed, hugging herself as the cold wind blew through her. "who cares about those disgusting rats with wings anways?" jacob rolled his eyes and guzzled his coffee down, finishing it all with one big gulp. "i do, they're beautiful." bailey argued. "you used to love birds." she continued. "i used to love birds... before you started feeding them all of the bread." jacob complained with a playful smile. "besides i love voltures and falcons." he smiled. "i feed the birds old bread that nobody wants... and of course you do." B ailey shook her head, grinning from ear to ear.
im going to start writing a short horror story in my free time. i hope u like it.
jennifer ann Jul 2015
i don't need your judgements,
i can't stand this place,
& the next person that rubs me the wrong way,
is gonna get punched in the face,
oh you''re just a waste of time and space,
same person, different face, sometimes i think
i hate the human race.

i don't need your ego,
i don't need your lies,
and i don't need your approval,
see, it's you that i despise.

shallow and hollow, ignorant and weak,,
i'd rather live in silence then listen to you speak,
arguing with you is like screaming at a brick wall,
you look at us like we're freaks, you don't understand
us at all...

so closed minded and cruel, just a bunch of brainwashed clones,
i will not follow the herd, mark my words, i would rather walk alone.
i just felt like writing a song, i hope you guys like it, thanks for reading :)
jennifer ann Aug 2015
she searched for him in crowded cafes,
a man who would love her for the rest of her days.
he would be a poet, honest and wise.
she thought that she had found him, behind sad
brown eyes, but all of this guys, poetry and promises,
they were nothing but awful lies...,

she went through hell, searching for him.
so many imposters standing in the way,
they told her that she was the one, but none,
had seemed to stay. and when she finally found
him. she was sure that he would leave.
and when he told her that he loved her,
she did not believe,
at first. she didn't think that they would stay
together, she was so sure that he would find
someone to replace her, someone that he liked
much better,
because she was always second best.
because nothing ever lasts forever...

but summer turned to fall, and he broke down all her walls.
he wasn't a poet, but he was brave and beautiful.
his big brown eyes  they weren't sad at all.., they gleamed
like moon beams. they were the two most beautiful eyes that
she had ever saw...
and those eyes put the light back in hers,
he never filled them with sorrow, he helped her grow.
he didn't weigh her down with negativity, you see, he loved her
and he always let her know

finally finding a heart to call home,
she would no longer suffer,
because she didn;t just find him,
the two had found one another.
ummm this might ****. im really tired and kind of buzzed.
jennifer ann Aug 2014
i love the freckles on your back,
the way you smile and just stare,
making me feel like i'm walking on air,
i love that goofy way you laugh.

driving around with you and acting stupid,
losing track of time, the amazing feeling that i get,
when your lips touch mine.

lying next to you,
feeling safe in your embrace,
i feel like my heart has finaly found a home,
blissfuly lost in time and space.

you, are the sid to my nancy.
the glen to my maggie.
you're the david to my darlene.
the ***** in my soda
the peanut butter to my jelly.
you came into my life like a beautiful sunset
after a tornado, and you never cease to amaze me.

& you're better than anything i've ever ever dreamed of my love,
it's our 2 year aniversary, and i've never felt so passionate, safe,
beautiful or happy. then i do, dancing & laughing with you. bullshitting and being lazy, smiling from ear to ear, shouting at random peole,
acting dumb having fun and being crazy, ane i pray that it's this way for an eternity, because nothing is better than when you and i are together,
or the way those big brown eyes light up when you look at me. i'm so happy that you're my baby.
i dunno
jennifer ann Mar 2015
filled with so much  pain and regret,
All of the long nights i cant forget, always
waiting for a beautiful sunset, they say that
one things will get better, that i'll be able to put
all the piece together, but it hasnt happened yet.
this hurricane this rain is all i seem to know, but
i cant seem to let you go, i'll stay and wait for the sun
to come if you tell me so. sing me lulabies that send me to
sleep, so i wont feel these wounds so hauntingly deep.
if you tell me that the scars on my heart will fade then i'll
believe your cheraide, just as long as you tell me i have yours babe.
i';; do anything. i'll seek comfort in the mess you made.
jennifer ann Jul 2015
I'M PRETTY HIGH YOU GUYS,
I'M NOT TELLING LIES, OR
CRACKING WISE.
I'M STARTING TO GET STARS IN
MY DIALATED EYES.

I'M GOING TO TAKE A WALK OUTSIDE
BUT I COULDN'T WALK A STRAIGHT LINE,
HOPE NO ONE NOTICES I SMELL LIKE ****,
INDEED, I'M FEELING PRETTY FINE.
AND IF YOU WANT TO BRING ME DOWN,
I'LL SAY 'NICE TRY TO SWINE.'
BECAUSE YOU CAN FALL IN LINE,
I'M FLOATING ON CLOUD NINE.
jennifer ann Apr 2015
im sorry that i hurt you,
you know that i would do anything to make those brown eyes shine.
if only i could rewind and turn back time, i was so wrong and out of line,
i have never been a friend of mine.

im sorry that i whine, and get jealous
that im too clingy and dont give u enough space,
but when your gone sometimes its hard to carry on,
i know its wrong, but i miss seeing your face.

i love you more than life itself,
i hate it when we fight, i just want to cry,
and nothing feels at all right,
i feel like ive been swollowed by darkness,
praying and crying for light.
jennifer ann Jul 2015
can you hear me screaming from beneath the surface?
can you help me find my way?
i am lost in the darkness,  i feel worthless.
my hope has gone astray.
jennifer ann Jun 2015
you caused me to lose my balance & then you blamed me when i began to bounce off of the walls.
jennifer ann Aug 2015
you make me feel feelings, i have never felt.
just a smile from you and i completely melt.
i could stare at you for days, i could hold
you for years, when i'm lost in your gaze,
this whole world just dissapears.

you hold my heart in your hands,
i hope you understand,
i'll always stand by you
and do for you whatever i can.

my love for you runs deeply
deeper than the deepest sea,
i could never put into words,
just what it is that you do to me.
happy three year aniversary.
jennifer ann Jan 2015
this is heart breaking, the toll that this is all taking,
on me, lost in all of my negativity and insecurity.
i just want to be happy and free.

i paint my face, so i look like a doll.
i feel about 2 feet tall,
i starve until my hearts content.
i am weak and dizzy, from my minds
torment.

smoke another ciggarette, as i try to fill the void,
now theres a monster around every corner,
im so miserable, and paranoid.

i dont want to give up, i dont want to die.
i know you don't believe me when i tell you that i try.
but now there is just so much pain and rage in my eyes.
there is nolonger a spark, because you've left me here to cry,
alone here in the dark.
jennifer ann Nov 2015
demons, ghosts, and ghouls,
bring down there wrath, and sadistically
they laugh, while sitting upon pedastools,

you road in on your high horse,
spreading lies and confusion, faking
feelings of remorse, lost in your illusions

demons, ghosts and ghouls,
sitting upon pedastools,and i feel like a fool,
i never imagined that this would happen.
jennifer ann Feb 2015
he is my adiction.
he makes me feel so high.
i feel like im on morphine,
when i look into his eyes.

just to feel his embrace, and
touch his face, makes me feel
like i, can touch the sky.
he has changed my life,
and ill love him until the day i die.

he is the light in the darkness.
with all of the love and wisdom that he shares.
he is the reason why i keep on breathing, and
believing, hes the anwser to my prayers.

hes the twinkle in my eyes.
my shelter, from the rain,
he is the love of my life,
and that will never change.
jennifer ann May 2015
i dont want to be a detective,
i dont want to feel like a spy,
i dont want to wonder, if everything
youre telling me is a lie.
i dont want to break down, i dont want to cry.
i just want to silence all of the screaming inside.

ive been betrayed,
im so dismayed, from all of the carelesness and rage
that you so selfishly display,
and all of the games that you play.
i am not the monster, not the vilan that you portray, me as.
youre not the victem, its just the price you have to pay,
for breaking me into pieces and asking me to stay.
its not my fault that i cant believe a single word you say.
our fairytale has become a living hell, it's your fault that we've become this way.
depression betrayal lies love
you
jennifer ann Jul 2014
you
you're aching, and tragicly breaking.
living your life in dispair.
your praying, and you're waiting,
for someone who doesnt care,
he was never really there.

you're burning, and you're yearning,
for him to come through,
stop wasting all your time on him,
and just start loving you.
ty all so much for likeing my poem im very flattered! :D
jennifer ann Jan 2015
you are beautiful, creative and original.
so don't ever settle for being plain or simple.
you are an incredible unique indavidual.
please don't ever settle for being plain or 'normal',
you're unforgettable, and dear it would be criminal.
don't ever change, or become tamed. you're better off
insane, than just another mindless animal.
jennifer ann Jan 2015
.
we were meant to be soldiers in a dark army,
we were meant to write poetry and get lost in sad melodies,
we were meant to start contraversy, you and me. we were
meant to be wild and free you see.

we were meant to think,       when other minds go blank.
we were meant to have strong opinions and beautiful visions.
we were meant to be empathetic, crazy, chaotic, and poetic.
and maybe they dont understand you,
but wherever you may roam, just know that you are beautiful,
and you are not alone.
jennifer ann Aug 2014
oh my dear,
it's been too years,
since the two of us became one,
you've made me feel passion, greater than i've ever imagined.
you are my moon, my stars, my son.

you're my protector, and my partner in crime.
you're the reason i go on breathing, this love so
powerful, incredible,indescribable, sublime,you are the only one, you are my moon, my stars my son, and oh how brightly you shine.

— The End —