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Shadow Paradox Sep 2014
~
As I walk in to the public
Stares reform, deform me
Part of me care, the other doesn’t
I can’t help who I am


My world is psychedelic
Twisted
Not right side up
But up side not right


Although my thoughts
Is like a grid
My mind crafted by genius
I don’t talk much


But I can draw
A masterpiece in seconds
My mind is photogenic
I remember everything


Gifted
Yet different
Misunderstood
Yet understood


I don’t understand the world
Like it’s supposed to be
My way is better [to me]
I have to be organized


I do things differently
It may be strange
But it helps me


Wielded . . .


I live in my own mind
My learning is slower
But sharper
I’m not cursed . . .


I may not be perfect
But I am who I am
Love me for that
And I shall love you back


Emotionally fragile
Yet agile
Autistic . . .
I’m still human
~
Shadow Paradox Mar 2015
Aero
Postal
Apostolic
Apotheosis
Parallel farewell
Synthesis
Synesthesia
Synergy
Energy flowing
Chemicals penetrating
Betraying atoms
Exploiting cells
Bending hormones
Syllable silicone

Parasite insight
Paralysis
Paralyze
Emphasize the size of lies
Hidden in an apple
Incapable
Enable her
Sleeping beauty
Frozen in insecurity

Where poison conflicts
Inflicts
Tricks
The brain clock tics
Seconds pass
Teaser
Seizure

No kiss can awaken
A body already broken
Shaken

Cocoon catalyst
Butterfly analyst

What list is there to share?
Crossing off days gone by
Stalked by a spy
Those emerald hazy eyes
Will open and realize
That one bite was a lifetime savor
Where no savior came
None to blame
But ones self

Inner wings will now take flight
The sickness tamed
Oh mirror, mirror who is fairer?

My dear it’s not the snow, the rain, the wind
Nor thy ego within
But it’s the darkness in you, which became light
Shining bright
Like diamond stars at night
The poison has bloomed beauty within you my dear Blood White
Your strength is the fairest of them all
Your fall
That made you rise and wise

A tough climb

No not once upon a time
But many times before you have learned

Yearned

Then earned the knowledge of strife
Where hidden is the secret definition of life
Sample poem for a book.
Shadow Paradox Apr 2015
Her smile is gluten free
Her coco skin smooth
Her blood is chocolate, sweet and silky
Metal roses flowing thru golden veins
Sugary smells evaporates from pores
Tight charcoal coiled hair is entwined, braided, twisted
Like iridescent scaly snakes

Her ivory spine splits as dreams open into wings
Her tree body pushing through the ground
As leaves sprouts from fingers
The roots of her heart is buried deep
She is fertilized with love and hope
Chemical free she grows
Never wilting only flourishing
She is a structure of strength
An element of hope and peace
Healthy is her seeds
As they drip from her tears

Organic Girl with juicy fruits rich with substance
As humans eat off her and fill themselves with her goodness
Flowers blossom and burst around her
Birds sing lullabies in her branches
She sways with the winds dance

But a storm raged one day when the air in society changed
Humans bled themselves in their mind
Their hearts morphed into a harmful substance
Their fingers tipped with poison
Everything they touched turned to ashes

They poured that horrid substance into a viral
Then the masquerade began
The substance turned into a chemical virus
It spread throughout the Emerald Forest
Many trees were slashed and chopped
Flowers crushed

But one tree still stood
Thick and unmoving
Towering; glaring

Humans snarled; waving silver axes

Organic girl whistled through her leaves
A robin fluttered towards the humans
They cursed and buried little darts into his chest
But the robin was filled with elemental magic and morphed into a human
His emerald ruby eyes flashing

The humans growled and begin to attack

Robin ****** his hands forward and grabbed all the humans except one
He opened his razor mouth and gobbled them up
His spine stretched as he bent toward the remaining human

"Evaporate from our land and spread awareness for we are this land.
We inherited it before you humans were braided with bones.
Tell them Robin is back and this is his hood."

Years flew by yet there stood Organic girl holding strong to her rights
Robin had become ashes
But his ashes mingled with the dirt and roots of Organic Girls heart and soul
For true love never parts from the departed
Shadow Paradox Oct 2015
~
~
~
~
There is a beautiful glow
Shining deep inside your core
Take it
Light the wick
             - *of another soul's heart
"There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it"-Edith Wharton
Shadow Paradox Jun 2015
Your love is like...

Helium

It changed the

Voice

Of my heart
Shadow Paradox Mar 2015
-Elements of the soul
pulsing with magnetic pain
hearts enlightening symmetry
but strength is connected
to the silver white threads
frozen inside a blue crystal
calm and collected-
Working on something new
Shadow Paradox Feb 2015
Jet black were his words
Dripping from his mouth

Poison

Discoloring my hearts canvas
Shadow Paradox Mar 2015
Before dead pale fingers reached through the graves



They used to be a blushing pink



Fresh with life



Pulsing with care and love



Caressing my face



Like the whispers of many flowers



And songs of many birds







Those fingers were connected to a special soul



One who birthed me



Sheltered me



Loved me







The fingers who wove together diamonds and pearls



Like an artist and his colors



On a blank canvas



Creating a delicate gem



A meaningful symbol



For me







Those smooth beautiful fingers



Placed it around my once tiny wrist



Clasping



Adjusting



Admiring



Smiling







Then like a cherry on top



A single diamond encrusted crayon charm



Joined the tangles of jeweled hooks and links







The beautiful loving fingers grasped my waist



And held onto me dearly



From there words from dying lips



Dripped their dew into my heart







“My Silhouette, my precious shadow



No matter where I go, no matter what happens



Remember always remember



You are unique like this diamond crayon



You have colored my life with every little thing you have done



When I look back at those colors made by my little shadow



I see the many beautiful sparkles you placed in my life



It makes me smile it makes me warm



Keep being you my shadow



Keep coloring the world with your love. . .”







The fingers weakened and loosened



Death came and took away the beautiful loving soul from those fingers



No more do they blush



Only pale white and frail







Scratching through the dirt in my heart



Tugging at my tears



Every time I wipe them away



With the edges of this rose







The diamond crayon clings against its metal chains



Echoing a haunting ring



Like the voice and touch of my dead mother



~
Shadow Paradox Aug 2015
~
I found myself more alive
When I drank the rainbows from the wishing well

As I wrap dark tales around the moonlight
The wolf inside me howls
Redemption is tied to a metallic dream

I begin to bloom from the ink of a black rose
Gold diamonds leaking from my pores
Pulsing from poisonous riches
I swallowed eleven silver wishes
Laced with nightmares

Half of me laid out like a board game
Chess pieces sticking out of me like fancy tombstones
My heart, queen, beats a checkered lullaby
The darkness grabs for me
With hands made out of dusty shadows
But I slipped thru them like a ghost

I armored myself with broken mirrors
I slip thru a chromatic hole filled with indigo ink
Which licks at my canvas skin

I fall
Endlessly

In a portal made out of my tears
The darkness of my past tumbles after me
But I found a rip in my tears
I walk into it and step out of my dreams

I'm calloused in crystals
As my metal back splits
Two iron, crimson wings unravel from my broken skin

The gold diamonds shoots back into my pores
Traveling to my eyes core
My golden blood is replaced with tears
My skin now cries
My eyes, pure gold
My vision, karat

Worlds dance beneath my veins
My tongue has stretched and thinned
Vibrating with hisses of colors
I speak untold languages
Which wilts and blooms

I flex my iron wings
Symbols threading themselves thru my skin
I smile
Fangs made of poetry

Transformation complete
* Synthesis Hybrid*

I found myself more alive
When I drank the rainbows from the wishing well...
~
Shadow Paradox Jul 2015
The moon spoke to me tonight
As did the equinox inside the raindrops
I see tales of wonder
Hidden in silver noonlight
Frozen between my retina and glass tears

I taste the poison inside the electricity of a heartbeat
I braided a prayer to my dreamcatcher
Breathing a night wish that tilts on the edge of stars

Blooming myths onto my black cherry lips

I shall paint my emotion onto a valentine
Fold it into a dove
Letting it sail like a flying ship
Like an angel with feathered wings

I will dip inside this paradigm shadow
Absorbing the colors from its paradox lullaby

Sky Roses are falling

Evanescent  scent melting ashe petals Creating a storm of iridescent ink dripping onto the heart of my canvas

Where dreams are frozen in the ice of my fears
Shadow Paradox Apr 2015
Lullabies, lullabies drifts around
Musical anthems explodes in sounds
Twinkle, twinkle little rhymes
Heartbeat diamonds strikes on time
-
Mary, Mary where is black sheep
For dreamscape eyelids wants to sleep
Sirens, sirens please shut-up
You’ve spilled teardrops from emotions cup
-
Scary imagination, ghostly hallucinations go away
Hour glass is running out, it’s about to be a new day
Jaded fairytales, sapphire visions settle down
Tension eyebrows want to get out of these frowns
-
Gentle caresses, soft muse kisses comes to keep
Finally dreamscape eyelids can go to sleep
Shadow Paradox Sep 2014
Thoughts form in my head

Perfected

Neat

Unscathed


Until . . .

My mouth opens

My tongue flip-flops

Words reform


Tilting inside each other

Melting

Into a demented figure

Then a volcano erupts


From my inner

I scream

I cry

I shout


But the pen touches my fingertips

Quieting the beast in me

“Bleed me”

It whispers


I did

The pen bled my pain

It bled my deepest thoughts

Seemingly only ink cures


My dyslexia
~
Shadow Paradox Sep 2015
"Mysterious reflections of a buzzing mind"
~

Musical notes unfold the edges of days
Colors stitched together
Collapsing in symmetrical branches
Tilting on sunlit leaves
Copper and crimson leaking from the crisp pleats

The world is dancing inside distance
Lost between the dusk of life
Yesterdays linked to endings
Swirling in chocolate cinnamon latte
Stripped in honey dreams

Shall I breath in sky fragments
Steaming from diamond blood
Stained on the fabric of enchantment

You can see dimensional forests
Reflecting from Indigo pupils

Curved inside the spiral of a pixilated soul
Carved in silver ribs
Spinning in fractal clavicles

There is a myth
Waiting . . .

Trimmed with tasty figments
Pressing itself into a prism

Go on

Touch the pulsing linear of this hive
Its alive like breathing braille
A tapestry of delicious language
Shadow Paradox Apr 2015
~Changing who I am and thinking more about others~

I almost gave Poetry up
Until my mind open itself to humanity details
Imprinting jewels on the side of my head
Infusing with swan wing thoughts
Dancing inside my laws

I refuse to be light as a feather with soft needles
Poking the imprudent Prince and Princesses
Who swag their way into reality with dust mops

I rather strip away from myself
Settling my being inside a cold sun
To find the lost cries of thorn tipped children
Cradling their bruises between my wings

Kissing away the torment and trauma disorders
Until they dissolve like ashes

I will be the fire burning within their souls
Protecting them from harmful appreciation
Shadow Paradox Sep 2014
Ink wounds sketched on her wrist
Prophetess unfurled her diamond proboscis
Hungrily ******* the pollen muse from the lyrist flower
She bounces her piety on the edge of her eyelids

Her azoic eyes flashing
Like a chrome apochromatic
Phonetic voice spinning a tune
Stylus fingertips dancing on a spinel canvas
Outlined on her metal stomach

Though eccentric
She is sterilized with intelligence
Tilting diagonally on insanities thin line
She is straitlaced
Self absorbed
Cryogenic

With upside down crosses imprinted on her throat
While her proselytes unthread dreams
From her coliseum heart
Bowing down to the collage God
Sacrificing sacrifices

“Pull more, pull more!”
Proselytes cried
Sunbeams painting their ash faces
As they pulled more dreams
From between the Prophetess lashes

Her hips becoming a petal chakra
Her vertebrae evaporating into bone butterflies
Fragments of every churchy elements
Pinning themselves to her skin

Her leather wings flapping a nursery rhyme
She spins out of control
Her musical clavicles creating a glassy chemical

Which shimmer and shake
Tattooing her pearl bones
Infusing her thoughts

She grafts herself on the minds
Of her Proselytes

They worshipped her life
They worshipped her body
They fed on her lies

Until one day

Error religion snatched her out her skin
Turned her into sacral fiber
Planted her whispers deep in a field of shredded dreams
And stretched her moon soul
Across the sun stained sky

For all to see
Her star spangled faith
Misshapen into unbelief

She had become her own religion
Her own personal god
But without any meaning
Shadow Paradox Sep 2015
~
I swept thru the hours

Like a magic broom
Dusting the insides of my jeweled ribs

Quenching thirst
From my outer layer
Of disjointed thoughts

Pulsing golden blood in threaded wings
Tiger like eyes piercing many hearts

Unwinding the clock of cupids arrow
While poisoned diamonds
Sparkle on lips

The story begins and ends
With a romantic haunting
~
Shadow Paradox Jun 2015
The water inside those indigo pools, are frozen glitter
Silver clouds filled with metallic raindrops

The
plink,
plink tunes
From metal rain freezes into a song

Stuck between sky and earth
Like alloy stars turning into diamonds
Shall we freeze like stone statues fused with sparkling crystals

Or

be liquid sunshine bursting with a golden edge
Melting the beauty with warmness
Which heals and brightens a crooked smile

That holds droplets of laughter
Medicine for heart and soul
Shadow Paradox Aug 2015
~
I've traveled many lands
Had great many fortune
Until I met Assyria

The love was metal in stone
A magnetic gravity
Stuck was I
Lost in him
Branded to his being

But his love was a wilted blossom with poisoned rotting thorns
He cast me out of his bones
Fused my leftovers to the third and second vertebra, like damaged wings
Threaded to the veins of cities inside a marble statue

When the sun drifted away from the moon
He burned incense in my indigo blood
I shimmered in the gold of his mind
Broken to pieces like a smashed crystal
He dug his hands in my womb
Found the lost puzzles of yesterdays
He hooked it to the pearl on his neck

Am I his trophy?

To be worn like frost on his skin
As he braids Israel in my hair and stitch wars in my heart
I'm forced into his heritage yet I inherited nothing
That's why my blade found itself against his throat

I imagined his skin like desert sand
Gritty yet soft
I decided I will carve myself out of him
I will be the desert wind and I will blow away the sand
I will make him thirst then I will turn into a mirage

I will take my ink child,
Open my rib cage and
Place him there against my heart
We will leave this horrid place
Where memories are open wounds
We will walk into a different story
My ink child will evoke on a new journey
As he bleeds himself inside his pages

I will read him and smile

Assyria will never find us
Because he will never look
He's chained to the ground
His soul is attached in a storm cloud

When it pours
It rains

But only on his grave
~
Shadow Paradox Sep 2015
"Escaping the sickness"
~
Monsters blooming in black pearls
Beaded neatly on bended spine
Darkness entwining themselves
Between the branches of copper wings

A story is bursting
Ripe with blood tipped tales

Memories buried in a jar of apocryphal dreams

Human is set in poisoned jewels
Sparkling on Pandora's box

Stymphalian birds emerge from metallic ink
Plucking the monsters off spine
Their metal wings clashing against conscious
Silk beaks opening and closing
Shedding layers of nightmares into onyx ribbons

Human is dipped in a rising sun
Soaked with light

A gold aorta butterfly buries itself in honey blood
Skeletal bones bent

Connecting

Electric pulses bloom
Between tangled veins
Where an orbit heartbeat throbs magic
Into curved muscles

Hybrids are the new fashion

Human smile is tucked in a moon drip
Glazed with a thin strip of happiness

The woods are hollow
The path of thorns melting

The scent of healing is strong

Human takes a deep sniff
Then morphs into a lullaby
Shadow Paradox Jan 2015
Never mind the world behind my eyes.
Or the earth within my skin.
Neither the diamonds swimming in teal blood.
For these are unfairly fairy tales.

Stale stories plucked from a withered imagination.
Tilting on the edge of a translucent dream.
The region which surrounds my form is lucid.
A prism reflecting the many colors of my pieces.

They who dwells in the internal galaxy knows me well.
For I am the matter which you breath in and blow out.

I am Human Dusk.

The sunset and sunrise of old endings and new beginnings.
Shadow Paradox Aug 2015
-Flip thru my pages...-


-

{Reach into my bones}

-

Feel my unborn world of humanity

The golden pansophy

Holding together the marrow

Nerves sending signals to a brain

That constantly feed on meaty morals

Rainbow veins pulsing gifted murals

Bounded in a book made out of human skin

Teardrops glued to each page

Tells a story of manic glories

Paragraphed with an insane biography

-

{Touch my soul}

-

Feel your fingertips

Vibrate

From the sorrow within

The urgency

The depression

The hidden plea

-

{Look into my mermaid eyes}

-

Drown in my dreams

Which the fairytale people

Help me create

Those goals I want to complete

But were forgotten

Like buried photographs

In a dusty attic

-

{Now flip thru my hearts folio}

-

Flip

Until you’ve reached the end

Have you guessed it?

Have you?

That I am

The beginning and the end

A forbidden book

Made out of human skin

-
Shadow Paradox Mar 2015
"Painting is silent poetry"-[Simonides]
-
On a gold parapet
Hung the hypnoidal painting
of a panegyric artist; goddess
Each thread of her colors
Spun carefully
with dainty fingers
Thus,
Her thin petal story
Fragily unfolds...

She was a aeorial pictorial
Outlined with fairy dust
She spoke silent poetry
Her pen whispering across the pages
Shaping music to words

Though horror embraced her harp-like body
Inflicting the thoughts of pain,
Floating on black sands of time
Thru a movie flick

Conscious spins off its web
tickling a guilty heart
Traumatized and painted with a butterfly effect
She played God
Tilting on her parallel fairytale
Trying to balance
Yet falling all the time

The darkness comforts her burning skin
Though leaving scars on shadows
The Queen of Complexity

Riddle me three
While popping bubble poetry

Her unique mind of madness...

No one will truly know...

The genius jewel
Pretty moon white
Tucked secretly
in colorful silk veins
-
-Struggle with self
Shadow Paradox May 2015
She was on top of the world

But when asked how it felt

There was no answer

Because she was hanging

On the noose of the misunderstood
Shadow Paradox Sep 2014
Sweet
Tangy
Tantalizing
Orange

Juicy
Delicious
Dri­pping goodness
Mango

Teardrop
Juicy juiciest
Yellow
Green
Pear

Bittersweet
Acid
Tongue­ biting
Kiwi

Color of rich blood
Fruity
Sour
Ripe
Cherry

Picasso's sky inside a bowl
Rich
Sunset
Sugar
Flowering ornamentals
Plums, Peaches
Almonds, Apricots

The sun shining at the edge of your tongue
Tasty
Bright
Smooth
Soft
Banana

Sunrise
S­unset
Island
Ballet
Citrus
Lemony
Lemon

Colorful paint on an artist canvas
Bitter
Pungent
Sweetness
Translucent
Oval
Ber­ry
Grapes

Gold at the end of a rainbow
Amber
Sticky
Sweet
Organic
Healing
Honey

­
The fruits of your heart
The flavors of your soul
The unfolding of a liquid sky. . .

*Shall we indulge?
Shadow Paradox Oct 2015
<<>>
-There are cobwebs
in her mouth
as she tries to speak
yet she fails to realize
she’s the spider-
<<>>
New work ~
Shadow Paradox May 2015
~
Tell me a story

One threaded in moss dreams
Dangling from a teardrop
Let the words drip like dew
Healing and soothing the cracks
within my stone heart

The tales told from the soul
tilts on the eyelash
A blink away
Those tales fall inside the iris galaxy
Where sleep becomes a lullaby

For the restless
~
Shadow Paradox Feb 2015
-

Inked sketches of . . .

( Mental Princess )

¤

I'm different

So...

I'm crucified

In Lucifer's eyes

¤

( I A M )

¤

Terrified

Cursed with lies

By

Hypocrites

Cryptic fits

¤

( D O N ' T )

¤

Verify my figure

Inside my veins

Is blood filled vigor

Insanity Vanity

Unsanitary Sanitarium

Skeleton screams volume

Snip snap Mary's creepy hum

¤

( J U D G E )

¤

Not thy poet

Unless her pen

Gives permission

For you to hold it

Ink bled

But not red

Dead words

Slaves heard

Voices in head

¤

Rhythm you give them

A musical freedom prism

Castles

Made with silk tassels

Stale kisses, abusive switches

I have no riches

I'm not free

For "mental princess"

They labeled

¤

( M E )

-
An old piece~
Shadow Paradox Feb 2015
Forgive me when I say we are like a candlestick

Frozen in a tapestry of waxen wars
Tilted diagonal on lilted syntax of fears

But we are
Aren't we?

Born with skin of bullets
Metal guns stained with blood
In our little innocent hands
Rumor of war is it?

There is no rumor

For the war already begun in our hearts
Shall we walk the red  bloodied carpet of this government
World leaders wearing human bones as a crown

We are walking it

Heads held high and heads in our hands
We will walk it with no shame
No regrets

We have none
For our beliefs is the deceitful armor we wear
We gladly wear it for all to see
No, not the clothes we wear that covers our faces

Letting only our blacken eyes see

No

Not those
Its the deceit I mentioned

We are at war my fr-- nemesis
We are
But I'm not
I don't want to be
I'm trapped you see
Trapped like this candlestick
Stuck in the pain of my tears
I am only a child but they gave me no hope


They killed my family
Replacing love with a metal machine in my hands
I have something to live for now
I am doing what I need to do

Though I feel a tug at night
When all is dark
When it’s my thoughts and I

Memories of real love
Hope
Joy
Peace

But it is dried now
Dried up in this desert sand
Where my boots stained with blood
Leave prints of death
My favorite color is no longer red

Its black

The monochromic  war of life stole all beauty from my eyes
So be thankful for your life
Be thankful please
For my heart are pieces of shells from my bullets

Hello I'm six years old
I've lived through more experiences
Then you have in twenty years
What can I say ?

Life IS
What it IS

It just IS, ISn't it?
Saw the most disturbing picture, I've ever seen. Decided to write something in a child's point of view who has been forced into war.
Shadow Paradox May 2015
~
Floating in a nacre, cream pool
Splattered with ink, dreams, and azoic butterflies
A monolithic love dance begin
Shifting one personality into another

Creating
Defaulting

As three stone bodies

Swirl
and twirl
With a rocky rhythm

Their papery skin
Peel back in finery consumptions
As their minds become one
~
Shadow Paradox Oct 2015
~
~
~
It flutters around me
                           connected to my liquid shadow
Attracted to the light
    
*within my heart
"It is during our darkest moments that we must focus to see the light."-Aristotle Onassis
Shadow Paradox Sep 2015
~
My heart takes wing
Flying into the ebony sky
Imagination entwines itself
In the depths of my mind
As I drift into a dreamy high

Troubles seems so faraway now
As I drink up happiness wine
Glancing at silky hilltops and-
Lonely valleys with greenery fine

A smile tugs my lips
While laughter teases my voice
I made the right choice
For I'm in a glorious haven
I've kissed the dove and-
Shoved away the black raven

I am free from all guilt and bitterness
I've burned my tragic papers
I've turned my hated words to vapors
For I cannot delve in darkness
Because I am surrounded by goodness

Light I can perceive
I've enlightened the dark
Hope, I now conceive
Painting a silver sun on my heart
I close my eyes
Dreaming about the sunset's art

I am happy
I am free

I can loudly and openly sing
For my soul has angel wings
~
An old piece-
Shadow Paradox Apr 2015
I got an hourglass stuck between my ribcage
Feel like I just swallowed the sun-rays
Twisted in a game phase
****** against a needle vortex phrase
Save me from myself
From my poisoned wealth
All I want now is good health
~
Pain painted
Canvas constructed
Color dance with dreams
Sleeper awaken and I will un-stitch your haunted seams
As you swallow monolithic butterflies
Their wings become yours and off you fly
To the kingdom of freedom
Shadow Paradox Sep 2014
~Be You, Don't Change For No One~**

Smoking butterflies

Lilted with jade poison

Swirling into my jeweled lungs

I smile; high on madness

..

No one can defeat me now

The drug monster

Pulsing thru my veins

I feel I can rule this land

..

Though in reality

There is no such thing

..

Metaphors spill from my lips . . .

. . . my blood

..

Eyelids fluttering

Like the wings of a dove

Everything is blurry

White walls; nothing

..

I scream

Confused

Shattered

Lost

..

In pain; lungs bursting

Mind racing

Heart beat beating---

..

I'm slowly dying

My paper body

Inflamed

Essence of butterflies

..

Floating around me

The ones I smoked

The ones I inhaled

They are killing me; whispered I

..

Though I am nothing but a page

Filled with Inkblots

Smudged . . .

My pen comes to save me; yet again

..

It rewrites me

Stitching new stories

Over my old scars

Creating a new me

..

Ink kisses my lips

Her chemicals seeping into my papery skin

Bleeding into me

I'm becoming a scroll

..

Decorated with so many rules

..

As I sigh

My pen stabs into me

Becoming me

I then scream ashes; everything fades black

..

Awakening . . .

I've become a notebook

Staring up at myself

I watch my own face

..

Intense

Dreamy

Thoughtful

. . . Disturbed

..

Pen in my hand

I open myself

Taking the pen

The one, which stabbed me

..

Ink bleeds

Onto my pages

I feel my pain,

My obsessions, my happiness . . .

..

I watch as the spirit of writing

Leaves my body

Folding itself between my pages

Like a bookmark

..

The pen falls from my hand

Landing on me

I watch mystified

As the pen whispers

..

"No one can defeat you now

This is your land,

Your rules, your soul

Welcome to the notebook life'

..

"You wanted something better

So I remade you"

..

-B-but this is not what I want-

I plead; trying to cry

But notebooks don't cry

Only the ink can cry for me; the ink from my pen

..

The pen chuckled

"Then my friend . . .

Be careful what you wish for

You didn't want to be human"

..

"So I made you

Into something better

You are useful now

You are popular"

..

I tried to scream

But I saw myself get up, snatching the smiling pen

I closed myself

Only to be open again when needed . . .
-Be You- Don't change for anyone only for yourself- [The poem is a bit strange but its about not changing for anyone, just be you, because you are beautiful, Sometimes I don't like who I am but I have to remind myself that I'm different . . . you get the idea]
Shadow Paradox Apr 2015
~
I'm embedded in a honeycomb dream
Where golden bees with shiny onyx stripes,
buzz and vibrate

“Take me away”

I cry
But their TV eyes only reflect my sorrows
I'm burning in a flaming photosynthesis
****** into the ashes of unknowing

A metal proboscis stabs thru my head
They are killing the old me
Injecting new languages into my being
As carbon butterflies the color of life,
drink hope from my flower heart

I'm dressed in a pollen wedding dress
While sea green wings flap around me
My life is dedicated to nurture those that need me

I am an insect hive

I bloom in spring to swallow summer
Winter can't touch me
My palace is the Indigo Forest

You dare not pluck me
For my stem is a stinger
I belong here in the honey dirt
Blossoming and stretching my sheer webbed petals
Diamond sugar drips from my tip

Thick and sweet

No human tongue can taste
For its poison
You can look but you can't touch

The rare kiss of an Autumn bird with fiery wings
Will change me into a beautiful human
But the honey inside my skin will be toxin
My presents will sting like smoke

The rain shall transform me back
Where I belong

* -For false skin is like makeup
that can be easily washed off.-
*
~
This was very difficult to write, the message is: Be comfortable in your skin, no one can be you.  Hope you enjoy.
Shadow Paradox Jun 2015
I took a walk today
With my fluffy friend
My heart filled with blooms
Sunset painting itself across the sky

Down the hill I go
A person passes then stops

"Your dog is ugly"

I turn
Smiling so brightly

"Thank you" I reply

Person stares in disbelief
His friends laugh
I turn back and smile again
I continue walking; shaking my head

Yep, I had a good day today
Just me and my beautiful fluffy pal
My heart is too happy and filled with love

*I have no room for negativity. . .
Shadow Paradox Jan 2015
:

The wounds are bigger now

Blood turning into ink

Dripping onto a blank page

I sit crying

:

Darkness stitches herself to me

Her sickness contagious

Blinding me from the light

And yet I see a glimmer . . .

:

Demons climb into my hair

Clawing at my clavicles

Snatching every bit of sanity

Tearing me apart

:

They stole my pens

Ripped my notebooks

Screamed and cursed at me

Told me I was hopeless

:

But somehow I am able to laugh

Though I write these words

With my ink blood

Dripping from its wounds

:

Staggering in pain

Yet satisfied, complete

My soul; untouched

Unbroken, but hurting still

:

The remains of my mind

Forming into poisonous butterflies

Flying off into a psychedelic world

. . . the one I created

:

Unsettled; though peaceful

This thing moves in me . . .

:

Impregnated by Anger

Pregnant with madness

Shall I abort this abomination?

Or let it live?

:

Shall I conceive to deceive?

How . . . how can I birth a monster

Who is the root of insanity?

:

But I did birth Madness

Didn’t I . . .?

:

Or maybe I had a miscarriage

And now here lies Madness

Dead in between the lines

Of this poem

:

Can you guess?

But wait . . .

Maybe you already know

:

Maybe you can even hear

My ink blood dripping its lullaby

On the edge of your mind

Maybe you are the one who is mad and not I

:

Maybe . . .

:

Although Madness could be alive now

Her essence

Flowing thru my veins

Writing this poem

For you

:
An old piece when I was in deep darkness. I will try not to dig up too much of my dark past. Hope you enjoyed otherwise.
Shadow Paradox Apr 2015
-
She grew into leaves
As she wrote into her bleeding notebook
Collecting diamonds from every drip
Balancing on a crystal dream
Erasing reality
Swallowing fantasy
-
Faraway, a letter grew wings
And printed itself to the girls skin
-
Invited to Depression’s Party
She swept away her notebook
And dressed herself in poetry pearls
Ink slippers stained her feet
-
As she twirled backwards to her demise
Silver cobblestones and golden chariots
Greeted with royalty
She entered the Razorblade Ballroom
Which kissed her graciously
-
She was given porcelain razors
Covered with colorful gems
“Go ahead my lovely and dance with them”
Evil whispers filled her little head
“Suicide will be proud”
-
She began to dance with those beautiful razors
But then she saw those delicate butterflies
Fluttering gently on her wrists
She then remembered her vow
-
To never ever harm those creatures
Because if she harmed herself
Those butterflies will die
The razors fell and shattered
-
The Razorblade Ballroom
She promise to never visit again
She realizes her bad decisions
Can affect many
-
She lives her life today
Being a world wide example
To those who are hurting
Yes I remember those dark days when I spent hours in the "razorblade ballroom" struggling with depression and suicidal thoughts. These were my darkest times. I never danced in that ballroom ever since. Although I do get invitations from time to time.
Shadow Paradox May 2015
-

Earth felt the rumble from beneath her mind

The sun swept its beams away from her edge

The clouds replaced the suns image

Then they danced

-

The beat of their fog like bodies collided in a rhythm

Earth felt it deep inside

She began to quake but just enough so the ground wouldn’t break

The singing birds flew away to the shelter of trees

While the leaves blew this way and that way kissing the autumn air

-

The clouds became thick with happiness

Filling up with nature’s dew

Until static was released

The sky caught it and stretched it until lighting colored her darkness

The clouds laughed which turned into thunder

Then Earth felt it

-

The cool liquid rain

Falling and splashing against her

Moving smoothly through the groves and crevices of her dry skin

She drank it up until she created a flood

The ocean waved its delight

The scorched animals were relieved

The storm dance finally settled

-

The sun took her beams

Opened the veil of clouds

She shone her likeness upon Earth

Then vanished

Moon glowed and kissed earth goodnight

Earth smiled . . .

Happy and refreshed

~~~~
Shadow Paradox Sep 2014
~
Sitting on my rhinestone lotus pond floating around in my oceanic bedroom
The haunting begins its sinister buzzing with a silent ‘vroom’
Wooden door opening by itself
My jeweled heartbeat falls from a bone frame shelf

Demons hanging like poisoned vines from the painted ceiling sky
Gods then pours their breath inside my empty soul, drowning all insinuated lies
Butterfly piano keys fluttering their enchanted melodies
The notes dripping pearls of discarded lullabies into my hidden pleas

Lost dreams entangled in my seashell hair
As I sit cradling broken memories in my emerald iris, the ones I’ve forgotten to share
Dead skin peeling from my fingertips as I turn a dusty page in my notebook
Loose frays of secrets coming apart, falling away in my Underland outlook

I remember the day I recreated my being, as I drew Self into a mermaid rose
Piercing my revolving face with a jagged pen,
**** fairytales bleeding from my lips, a new world I chose
My dress of ivory seaweed has caught onto a sharp end
I sink into the onyx murky depths of my rhinestone lotus pond, wishing for a friend

Discarded
Bombarded

Licking death, seeing the dead
My attire drifts in the sulphide air, swirling with the essence of dread
I now leave my surreal sanctuary
As rhinestones melt, the pond drains, the lotus folds its metal origami

I’m back from the world I created
Back to reality where a sententious poet is constantly hated
Back to a butterfly wallpapered bedroom where hallucination spend
Yea I’m back, but not for long, not until inspiration comes and I swallow my pen
And into my notebook realm I will be back in my own world again…
~
This is an oldie when in yesteryears I was tangled in a nightmare of a fairytale~
Shadow Paradox Oct 2015
~•~
My truth memory
Is scattered
Like diamond roses
Wilted inside-
Crystallized fairy tales
Red riding hood kisses
Skullish smiles
Come to whistle
Their dead lullabies and
Musical cherry tops
White witches
Pen corpses
Mutilated whispers
Hyena cackles
Stir the magic batter
Of dying hopes
Sip on lonely dreams
Eat life with the
Honey bee
~•~
A little something for the beginning of October ~
Shadow Paradox Jan 2015
She shed her scales by each drop of rain
her eyes; poison in blood
the desert her veins
as she travels across silk concrete
towards the edge of her mind
the bloom of yesterday billowing its monster
side glances perceive venom

Israel is tangled in her hair
she is drowning in harlots blood
frozen against an eclipse
continuing her journey curled up in chaos
each trail a fragment of forgotten memories

Delusions are alive in her

A perfect flaw of raven fields
razed with withered crops

The dream is curved around her tail
liquid and edged with bone roses

She peels from herself

Iridescent
Venomous
Bleeding

Watercolors evaporating from forked tongue
Canvassed

Painted to slither off the cliff
landing beside her arrow fangs
her brand new scales
melting

Like sugar inside my peppermint tea
~
Shadow Paradox Sep 2015
~
If I speak loudly-
Will you listen quietly?
If I speak quietly-
Will you listen loudly?

Does this make a difference?

Think loudly
Or
Think Quietly

Answer carefully

I challenge you
~
Thinking...
Shadow Paradox Apr 2015
~Modesty & Respect has been lost and now the tears are too hot to turn into frost~

◄►◄►◄►◄►
Sickness in the mind is revised
As the eyes are revealed to a non-existing surprise
Pretending that the colorful pills are sweet tasting skittles
While tears forms into a spiraled riddle
Generations are messed up because good-teachings are slack
So in the young minds rightfulness lack
There is peace even if chaos may seem to consume
In dark tunnels a dim light will soon loom
But if you perceive
To conceive
Not to believe
Then tell me how will you ever achieve?
Life is not a game, but a vivid reality
So save every special moment of sensuality
Remember that you are an instrument
Play your life story, sing your mind, and bleed your words out loud with contentment
You’re not useless
Humanities truths…believe every single bit of it, release your stress
Strength lies within your heart
You’re such a beautiful sculpted art
Do the opposite of what depression tells you, you won’t lose
Your fate lies in each choice you make, carefully choose
Your future is the next moment
Make each obstacle your stepping stone and then you can easily avoid torment
Then spectral corruption
Will never be able to destroy your inner emotion
◄►◄►◄►◄►
Another oldie with the same style.
Shadow Paradox Dec 2014
~
Ivory-teal ruffled his parochial feathers
His tongue dipped in languages
He wanted to learn the pronunciation of life
As he folded himself in Egyptian ink

He opened his mind against the dioramic surface of syllables
Painted in alloy; dripping from a papery canvas
He brushed his ivory creme feathers
in crimson and lavender hieroglyphics
Bleeding their pictorial valor inside a golden sepia lantern

"Go on, light the world with your suspense and mystery"

Ivory-teal twittered to himself
Wrapping the bijoux night around his little body
he disappeared into the stars
The teal birthmark on his forehead; glowing

He took the lantern in his gold beak
fluttering away into spirals of smoke
Toward Mythology mountain
Where a storm of butterflies
were winging their seasonal weather

Ivory-teal sometimes wished he could be a candle flame
Flickering in the darkest of moments
Letting the sunshine bleed through his beautiful feathers and soft skin

But his destiny was a bit different
He was folded in cultural prophetic proverbs and
sewed neatly in parabolic traditions
Where nationality is mixed into colorful pixels inside skin
Accents are curved in throats and lilted on the edge of tongues

Ivory-teal was carved in diamond flex dreams
In a temple of mythical patterns
Imprinted in mercury cocoons laminated with knowledge
The Angel Apostles printed him in their book of Dreamtales
Where he became a bilingual silhouette

He was birthed right here on this mountain
As he balanced himself on thoughts
He had learned to love himself to this point of his life
He wanted to be the change he wanted in the world
He gently lifted the little lantern

It rose up toward the sun and exploded into rainbow fireworks
The contexts that were inside split sideways
Tilting and pressing themselves into the air particles

If birds could smile then that would've been Ivory-teal
As he laughed quietly

"Now breathe in earthlings, breath in the wonders and knowledge of life"

He then spread his gorgeous ivory creme wings
tattooed with all the languages of the world and life itself
He twirled into the sunset and bled himself in a cloud

A mountaineer had been watching and wondered to himself
As he unknowingly breathed in the context from Ivory-teal's lantern

"If flying is a language I would love to learn and speak it with my wings"

But shouldn't he know that language already
For it is the language of freedom
Ivory-teal is one of many symbolic accents
Of that beautiful language
~
Shadow Paradox Apr 2015
~Depression plants suicidal seeds, don’t copy hate, instead do good deeds~

◄►◄►◄►◄►
Rhythm and rhyme beats in the heart
Forming musical inspiration in a creative art
Beauty from pain
It lies within, as rainbows bleed a colorful stain
Razor marks tattooed on the skin
Is this a sign or a committed sin?
Learn from past, live the present
Don’t be a suicidal mocking bird who always laments
Copying others, with suicide entwined in imagination
Bleed the pen, and brightly color in your blank emotion
Represent a leader
You were born a survivor
Revolutionary options are provided for you to excel
Grow wings, spread them, and fly beyond this living hell
Skidding across icy obstacles
Wishing for miracles
Live your dream
Let the dying razor scream
No more suicidal mockingbird
Let hopefulness be today’s most used word
◄►◄►◄►◄►
This is such an old poem but I thought I'd share.
Shadow Paradox Apr 2015
{Remember the pen is the blade. You may say that no one cares for you but they do. You just have to believe that you are strong, {you will fight to live or die trying}. Contemplating suicide, cutting for relief, playing around with death isn’t the right way to handle deep depression, it only make’s it worse. You are worth it, not worthless. You were born for a reason, don’t take your life, someone out there is lost and it may be you that they need to find cause you can save them. Determination is the key to success. We all have a pessimistic side but we also have the ability to defeat it}

{Stacie Orrico- Strong Enough}

~You are strong, believe in yourself, pursue your dreams, be you, you’re beautiful and don’t ever forget it~


Negative thoughts filled the mind
Emotions darkening, making the eyes blind
The voices are talking
Telling you to regret your life, while your soul they are stalking
-
Just say to your self ‘I am strong’
You can defeat the wrong
You are worth something because if you wasn’t, you wouldn’t be living
Your dreams, keep believing
-
Turn your obstacles into stepping stones
There are others who are fighting too, so you aren’t alone
Yea, suicide speaks
But so can you, the right path you should seek
-
Tears of sadness you may cry
Just sing your happy lullaby
You will win this depression battle my friend
There’s no need to make a fatal end

This poem brings back bittersweet moments.
Shadow Paradox Sep 2014
~
Symbols danced in InkGirls eyes

As she twirled herself

Onto the stage

Pen in mouth, her skin the page

-

Rhythmic sensuality

Bouncing inside her veins

Her enunciation popping sounds

In the eardrums, of those listening

-

She dances

Her heartbeat prances

Her ink is like France; beauty

Her statement like the Eiffel Tower

-

Poésie Je t’aime

She cries

As she bled herself

Into the diamond around her neck

-

Poetry becomes a worded butterfly

Fluttering toward InkGirl

But when he lands on her

He began to melt into her

-

The words on Poetry’s wings

Became apart of InkGirl

The audience ooh’d and ahh’d

As the swirly word magic robed the girl’s body

-

She became a poem

While she pirouetted

Her body a poetic language

Speaking to the eyes only

-

She is a ballerina Poetess

As she swallows her diamond pen

Her eyes blue pearls

Her lips; poetry

-

Je suis devenu un poème

She whispers

She loved Poetry so much

She became it

-

[Although she is stuck to the stage

She is performed; over and over

The theatre is her birth and her grave

She is chained forever, because of love]
Shadow Paradox Aug 2015
~
Creatively I died inside a butterfly’s wing
Buried in the womb of a bird’s song

Sing…

Elevation
Planted deep in a spiders imagination
Twisted, converted
Underneath a pyramid
Midriff monsoon
Against the red noon of the Moon’s
Lunar tunes

Nightmares growing from daydreams
Like weeds
Reflecting the soul as darkness gleams
Broken seeds

The eyes of the Owl see
As wisdom he reads
Turn green with greed
No longer wise as pride
Glides and rides
Across the deceit of his landslide

Crashing like a crystal avalanche
Crushing lives and habitats
See one choice can lead back to the beginning
Of the first inning of a sliver lining
That has become dull

Losing its shine and luster
Like a haunted hall
In a old mansion cobwebbed with fluster
Skeletons and ghost threaded in walls
Shredded inside papery calls
Peeling from the owners fall

I’ve died inside the butterfly’s wing
The wing carved on a wedding ring
Its circle symbolizes my cycle
A tilted infinity inside the curve of clarity

Of my fall
That became a papery call
While threaded in a skeleton wall
Cobwebbed with fluster
Like a haunted hall
That has lost its shine and luster
Which became dull

Like the first inning of the silver lining
This choice has led back to the beginning
Crushing lives and habitats
Like a crystal avalanche
Crashing across the deceit of this landslide

Which glides and rides
No longer wise as pride
Turns green with greed
As wisdom he reads
The eyes of the Owl see
Broken seeds
Reflecting the soul as darkness gleams
Like nightmare and weeds
Growing from daydreams

Lunar tunes of the Moon
Glowing against red noon midriff monsoon
Underneath a pyramid
Twisted, converted
Planted deep in a spiders imagination
Elevation
Buried in the womb of a bird’s song

Sing…

For I’ve creatively died inside the ink of a butterfly’s wing
Dripping from an alien’s pen-well
Melting like clear gel
Faded and blurred
Secretly grew in between each verb
Hid myself in sentences
Like parables in genesis

With glee…

I impregnated the meaning inside me
Then birthed surrealism
In a chaotic schism
Between the fifth and second chord
Of a poetic discord
~
Shadow Paradox Oct 2015
Beautiful blue berries

Blood red cherries…

Swirling in the night

Chocolate chip covered thief appearing with fright

The beat of the candy heart vibrates with weak deliciousness

While the frozen dessert screams its loyal wickedness

There was a flaw in the meal

For the law wasn’t happy and signed the seal

A perfect good journey turns into a nightmare

The monstrous ice cream still screaming its snare

And now the story rises

As the peanut butter footsteps arrives and surprises

A strawberry invitation is handed to the achiever

Icy tears hangs like icicles from the law breaker

The peanut butter melts away and now the story reaches its ******

The salty eyes are now side tracked

Beautiful blue berries

Blood red cherries…

They suddenly disappear

The candy heart beat slows and is replaced with cold fear

Ice cream drips into silence cutting off its screams

Chocolate chip covered thief fades, leaving a ghost of its beams

The flashing thief in the night

Is finally gone, but the emptiness leaves a fright

Yea I was hungry and extremely frightened

So when the police stopped me, my imagination became deliciously enlightened
I remember being so little when I wrote this lol
Shadow Paradox Apr 2015
~
~
~
~
~
"What do you want to be
when you grow up
my dearest Indigo?"

Indigo looked up at Mother Ivy
With eyes of emerald
the size of mini globes

She closed her eyes a moment
Thinking
Brushing away the curly tendrils of
hair from her creased brows

Mother Ivy bent
whispering butterflies
into the child's ear

"Don't be afraid my doll
Speak
Never hold your peace"

As Indigo open her eyes
Her thick lashes
Made a breeze
Which swept the worries
From Mother Ivy

"When I grow up
I want to be poetry"

Mother Ivy gathered her close
kissing the lovely child with sweet dreams
While poppies bled scents into their clothes

"Why do you say that my dear?"

Indigo twirled in her mothers arms
Her eyes flashed with golden specks
As the sun smiled light into her soul

"Because poetry is sign-language
that speaks to the deaf heart"
Inspired by a review for a perfume lol~ Hope you enjoy :)
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