So much hurt, so much pain
You'd never know it by just a glance
You'd never feel her timid fear of you
While you shake her hand

You'd never know she was touched and abused
By the smile she gives you
And you'd never think twice about her innocence
Because of the way she moves you.

You'd never know of her fear of men
Because she seems so bold
But appearances can be misleading
And her eyes do not tell the story of her soul.

Alone deep inside
She sits and she wonders
Where her heart and soul have ran off to
And why they left without her.

You stand in a field of dandelions and see weeds
But I stand there with you and see a field of dreams

In the middle of a dead field
Nowhere to be
Yellow mountains and narrow dirt roads
Surround me
Thoughts of you keep me moving
I'd follow you with bare feet
Across California until my hands find yours again
You are the half that completes me.
Free to make a choice
Free to give my heart away
No matter how far you go,
To you I will always find a way.

I don't know how much more of this I can take
You relentlessly push and you shove and you bend me until I break.
Darling, I'm about to snap. So if I do, I suggest you wave farewell
You better believe that I will drag you with me down to hell.
I've let you walk through this break up squeaky clean and vandalize my name
I've heard your lies about me that have circled back around and they all sound so insane.
I try to play nice with you and give you some kind of credit
I've felt so bad for you up until this point and I've really just had it!
Say whatever you want about me to everyone if that's how you sleep better at night
Because at the end of the day I'm still doing just fine.
I don't need to trash your name or embarrass you, like you've tried to do me
You make yourself look foolish enough, you don't need my help baby.

Every morning
I open my tender eyes and see you
I feel your soft skin against mine
It’s a dream all of its own
That I wish to exist in
For forever and a day

You make me want to sip white wine
In the dim light
Listening to Frank Sinatra

Graceful dancing
Fainted laughing
The old sound of the victrola

I'm humbled by the storm
It's a reminder that I am not in complete control,
That there are forces that shape my destiny
And outcomes in which I do not plan for.
I close my eyes listening to the pitter patter on my porch
And check in on the water flow that fills the trenches.
I surrender to Mother Nature and bend to her will,
I am grateful for this magnificent life I am blessed to live.

Am I safe to keep my heart in your hands?
Why do I feel like I've given it to a gremlin
Cloaked in disguise as someone I can trust..
All of the things that I thought to be true, crumbled to dust..
I'm trying to analyze an empty canvas figuring out how to make a masterpiece
When I have no paint and no brush, but yet I'm trying to make something out of nothing.
Trying to put these feelings into words to try and help you understand
But it all comes out so messy and the confusion has no end
I can't tell what you are anymore, just when I start to feel slightly sure
You do something that leaves me questioning, **what are we doing this for?

I saw her
In the dark, in that alley way
Leaned against the wall
One foot resting behind her
One slightly in front
She smoked her cigarette and looked at me like I didn't know about pain
She hardly saw me
But I saw her every night
I passed her and she always waited
For the next guest, for the next moment.
She was like chalk
Pale and stale. Diminishing and entertaining
I noted her dark red lipstick.
Compared against her white skin and black hair it was the closest thing to life that I could relate her to
Her eyes always followed my footsteps past her
I watched her contemplate her choices as I faded down the street
But still every night I continued to see her.

I still hear your voice in my ear late at night
I sometimes feel your lips against my lips
Your fingers gently massaging between my legs,
Your waist pressed against my hips

I'm half asleep feeling your presence
Drifting towards you through your whisper
Somewhere in between my reality and my dreams
You seem to always linger

I crumble in your lap
I fall to pieces within your sentences
Dropping every guard
Surrendering to you completely

But you have no idea
Because all of this is internal
And you can't see it
Because I won't let it show
And you can't feel it
Because I don't want you to know

I don't trust me with you
I would fall too hard
Too fast
And maybe never recover

So I silently go through the motion
I'm lifted, on cloud 9 with you
Silently drifting away to another place
While we lay here
Watching bar rescue
And you hold me like I'm never leaving you

Until I need to leave you
I say I'll see you again
But who knows,
Maybe I won't.

I always find the good in you
Even when I don't want to find you at all

Have a great day :)
I'm grateful for the friendships and connections that I've made here.

I think it's important to reflect on what you have and remember that we are blessed in this life. Even on your worst days.

I analyzed you. Sitting across from me at that coffee table. I knew your thoughts as your eyes were indulged in that morning paper. I know more than what those reports share with you. I watched you, but you didn't know that. I saw the fear in your eyes and watched your hands tremble. In that moment you let go of me, but I still had you. We had each other... And no matter what the world crumbles to, I've got you.

He was my light
In my world of haze
In this town I ran and ran, desperate for a way out
In this fancy house that echoes when I breathe  
In this life where I sold my soul searching for love
And then there was you

She was my light
In my world of midnight
In my city smothered by smoke
In this crack house barely standing on Grand Ave
In this life where I hustled because love is for fools
But then there was you

He splashed my brain with *******
She cracked through my barrier with her purity
He filled my days with something real, something I could touch
She stayed for laughter, she stayed for love
We collided and we became a dominate force.

I'm sure he's a great
But I don't need a great man

I need chaos and mayhem
I need destruction and ruin
I need defiance and uncertainty

I don't want a great man
Because great men don't want girls like me.

Baby I won't waste my time
Thinking that, I'm all you think about
When we both know I'm out
Of your mind..

And honey I won't waste my breath
Standing there, trying to look into those eyes
When all I hear are lies
From your mouth..

It's alright, I'm okay
It was nice to meet you babe.

I've got a moment to myself
And a clear mind for once when I write
All negativity aside
Wow, you know- for once I feel alive.
No more cloggy sentences
Filled with emotions I can't explain
No more cloudy rain clouds causing
Muddy puddles in my brain
I've had enough of "I can't take this"
No more depresso shots in my coffee
I woke up this morning and realized
I deserve to be happy.

I know that you want to know
Why I am the way I am
I brush it to the side playfully
And answer "because I can"
The most nonchalant answer I could give
You better believe that's what you'll hear
Because I'm not ready to confess the truth
I'm not ready for you to disappear.

Let me tell you how I see this now
If you make no changes and decide to stand your ground
If you never open up and believe that I will leave
One day I promise what you fear, it shall be.
You don't want to cut ties with women in your past,
For just in case we don't work, you have a backup plan..
But these past women will keep interfering with us even if you choose to ignore,
Because I can't overlook the fact that you have one foot in and the other out the door.
You said you've been here before and you don't see how this will last
So eager you are to say goodbye, I wish you'd slow down before we crash
I can't help you see what I see, you don't feel what I do
I didn't want to do this, but now I have to let go of you.

No you can't stay
Get the **** out
I called you to come over for a quick session
And now I'm done, so your time is out.

What do you mean you're feeling tired?
You have to go, you need to leave
Yes I'm serious, get the **** out
You've done all you can for me.

I don't want your company,
I don't want to cuddle
Thanks for being my midnight squeeze
You can leave your number on the table.

I doubt I'll call
Don't ask me personal questions
Don't walk away feeling more than
The bare essential intentions.

I told you what this was in the beginning
I have no room for your feelings
I don't know that you expected from this
But it really did have NO meaning

When I think of you I think of poetry
I think of my favorite words
Ever so carefully written
Methodically planned in rhythm
Like lyrics I can't forget
When they seep into my soul
And smear ink all over my mind

Somewhere in the shadows I found you.
I don't recall what I was searching for.
I don't remember how I got there.
But I recollect the overwhelming warmth of finally feeling complete when my eyes happened upon you.
When I close my eyes I still see your bright brown eyes find mine for the first time.
And in that moment we were one.
In that moment you were mine, and I yours.

Oh Cupid... Hello again
Have you come to send me, Yet another man
I said "Take him back, I do not want it"
He said "My dear, I promise you will love him"

"I loved the last, and he before...
And yet you do not cease to send me more..."

"This one is different, just take a glance,
He wants so desperately to hold your hand"

"As do they all, yet they leave me abandoned"

"This one I know will Not leave you saddened"

I turned to walk away,
Uninterested in what Cupid had to say

Until I bumped into the sweetest man
With eyes of gold and the strongest hands

He pulled me close and I was petrified
He asked me if I was alright

I did not speak, I could not think
I only felt his arms around me
So strong and demanding
He smiled so gently
I blushed and turned away
Before he could kiss me.

"Take him back"! I screamed at Cupid
For too many times men have left me deluded.

Most charming indeed, this man cannot stay
I looked back to him and said please go away ..

His eyes seemed to fade and his hands disappeared
He soon washed away and my mind was cleared

Cupid shook his head and flew away
But not before he got the chance to say...

"So sad my dear, that you cannot see
The result of these loves are up to thee,
You push them away and so they leave
I only bring another because you say you are lonely".

Hello? Yes, hello...
You must have built up so much courage,
But I'm inclined to say no.
Because although,
Many years have passed...
I'm still trying to rebuild the girl you destroyed and burned to ash

Hello, can you hear me?
Oh now you want to reconcile after all the pain you caused me...
So I've heard, you've been talking,
Going around telling everyone
How sorry you've been feeling...

There's such a difference, between us...
And a million miles.

Hello from the other side
It must have really hurt your pride
To have sat there, waiting.. for me to come around
After all the humiliating words you said to the crowd

Hello from the outside
I learned to walk away and smile
You have written letters and knocked on my door
Begging forgiveness but I must confess I feel nothing for you anymore....

Hello, I'll stop you there
Where's the girlfriend that you had back then
As you would run your fingers through my hair
I hope, she saw right through you
And that she left you just as broken as what you deserved coming to you

I'd tell you something, that I know now
But you're just not worth the time.

Hello from the other side
It must have really hurt your pride
To have sat there, waiting.. for me to come around
After all the humiliating words you said to the crowd

Hello from the outside
I learned to walk away and smile
You have written letters and knocked on my door
Begging forgiveness but I must confess I feel nothing for you anymore....

I wear her rose petal eau de parfum
So that you turn your head when I walk by
Just enough to trigger that brain of yours
Into a ***** thought when I catch your eye,
Trick your senses to believe I'm her
Spark a desire to grasp me tight
I just want my lips all over you
Not for forever, just for one night.

What is a hero. Who does he look like..
The father who makes time for his children and loves them with all his heart. Who never holds back to show them he cares and always supports their ideas and decisions..
The single mother who crawled out of a drug hole to better herself and become a woman after a lifetime of childhood and hiding behind closed doors and dark rooms, who now sees light and a path..
The warrior who knew his calling was greater than desks and lectures, who felt a passion in his heart for our country and therefore decided to protect us all while he endured the worst..

We can all be heroes.. We all need to be saved.. We all face life struggles in our different ways..

"Call me when you feel better"

I'll never feel well enough to call you again.

She was the heaven and the earth
She was beautiful
Everything strong that I could not be
But she left me

She was the ocean and the shore
She was security
Understanding in a way I didn't know how to be
Then she left me

She told me one day she would disappear
And she finally did
I wonder where she went and who she found now

Is she everything beautiful still
Is she still just as strong
I wonder if I ever cross her mind

You loved me once
But I buried that in the dirt
In the junk yard behind my fence
Where forgotten things commingle with hurt
It's a perfect image of us
All along, this has been our apparent fate
You'll forever be the junk in that yard
But I refuse to be another girl living with your pain.

You speak of Him
But who is he?
Is he a man of your past
Or a figure of your dreams
Did he really steal your heart
Or did you give it to him willingly
Tell me who is he

You speak of Him
And I wonder what he is
Was he some kind of savior
Or a dark abyss
Did he turn your walls inside you black
Or free you with every kiss
Please tell me dear sister who he is

He was the sky and the heavens
With a splash of hell
I wasn't expecting to fall so far so fast
With just an introduction to his world
He did steal my heart
But I suppose I consented
To be honest, I can't recall
I've been so disconnected
I'm not sure what he was anymore
Or if it all was even real
I wake up every morning
And can't determine how I feel
He may have been great
Or he may have been terrible
The more I think about him the more his memory
Fades from my cerebral
I am without memory and without feeling
My days have turned grim
So you decide for yourself about who he is
This is the after effect of Him

Why?  She asked
Why do you love me?
Because,  He said
Because you’re all I’ve ever known
You’re the sun on my skin in the winter morning
You’re breath is my hope, so I inhale you
You’re my smile in a nightmare
You speak love to me in your fingertips
Smother me with your silk hair in the morning
I destroy everything I touch
And you grow flowers from the ash
I don’t know how you do it
You’re contagious and I caught you
I don’t know how to do anything
Except love you

He said "Yea, you know you're right.
You cross my mind and I think of you
While I'm at work and when I'm on the road
And sometimes I dream of you too.

But you really need to relax with all of these poems you write of me
Get a grip, it wasn't that serious
You've even said it was mostly a physical attraction
And I honestly think you've become a little delirious.

You change your mind so much it's unbearable
You write about me every day
I only come on here to make sure you haven't completely lost it
And of course to see what you think of me today.

It really is flattering, you know
To read how torn apart you are from me
And how you feel like you can't move on sometimes
Because I really didn't do much of anything.

You want an apology and a confession
But you won't get it and that's what kills you
You want a dude to keep running back
Only because that's what you're used to.

But I have way too much pride for that ****
And you already know that I've moved on!
I moved on before we ended our little affair
And that's why I haven't called since you've been gone.

You don't feel ****, *****. Let's be honest
Well at least, I know it's not me you're feeling
Stop wasting your time with all of these sad rhymes
It's irritating that I read them and feel like I owe you my pitty".

He looked at me
But did not see me
He could not feel me
He only saw what he wanted to see.

An object, a female
As if blood did not run through my veins
As if I can not feel hurt or shame
Almost not worthy to have my own name.

My homeland is bleeding
Everywhere I turn, my brothers are fleeing
My sisters are kneeling
I stop and I stare, inside I am screaming
And my heart is racing
My palms are sweating
These sirens won't stop ringing
My homeland is bleeding

He resided in wonderland
where love was beautiful
passion was peaceful
and dreams were sweet -

But he took a flight
away, out of sight
and that’s where he met me .

Hello poetry,
Have you come to whisk me away into another fantasy
Float me down the river of another memory
Guide me into an abyss, searching for my sanity
Remove me from this place, drifting from gravity

I shut my eyes, let out my hand and let poetry do away with me.

I know you're strong.
A force to be embraced and not confined.
I can't grasp you,
You're too powerful.
But I can lay here with you and enjoy your fury.
I can wait for you to move me...

You are a hurricane
I feel your force and I know that you can cause damage.
I do not question your abilities, but I push your boundaries.
I want to hear you crash on my shore and pour down upon me.
Break me.
Don't hold back.
Show me what your made of.

Everybody seems to know what they want from me
and yet I don't know what I want for myself
People expect me to be able to deal with anything
They throw their problems upon my shelf.
I'm expected to forgive and let go
Get up and move forward
Endure the worst from others
And always have a helping hand to offer.
I think I just want to be left alone
I have nothing left to give to anyone
No compassion left in this body of mine
I don't want to be asked for a dime or an opinion.

YES* I'm territorial. And YES I want you all to myself..

Are you *really so mad at that?!