i'm white, my skin is just pale enough that if you squint just right you can't even see the brown lying underneath.
i'm white, and i feel my privilege like a vice around my wrists, holding me hostage in my fantasy that i just wasn't made for this activist ****.
but i'm not like those white oppressors, because i don't believe as they do; silence is a form of oppression, so guess what that makes you?
i am guilty of closing my eyes so often i may as well be blind, and holy ******* **** THIS HAS HAPPENED TOO MANY TIMES!
we all know at this point that justice isn't being served, and you've surely heard the terms, reactionary solidarity it means we as the privileged only care when the oppressed scream so loud we hear them across the seas, see their smoke signals above the trees, when mothers and sisters on crying on their knees

I'm sorry* I'm no fun to be around,
I just don't know where else to go,
Who else to bother with my company.
I love you, I do,
So please don't get fed up with me.
If you ever realized you were sick
Of my ever constant gloom,
That would be it, my last straw.
The illusion that life has meaning
Would shatter without you,
And I'm bound to cut myself
On the broken pieces
That should have been my heart.

Touch the parts of me I'm too scared to explore on my own

I'm waiting to get sick
so I can die without doing it myself
without a mess, lying in a bed
with the blankets tucked in around my head
I think I might be sick
or maybe I'm just being hopeful
that this will be over quick
maybe they could catch it early if I cared
but it's very hard to see myself anywhere
but lying down, somewhere dark and underground
or maybe in a jar on someone's shelf

-- who am I kidding, I'm a closet girl

God, help us all
                     *When we fall

If we fall, there's
                    No catching
                              
*Ourselves..

all my days spent
i'm at my wits end;
struggling to love
or to leave a friend

the burdens weigh heavy,
and women cry in the streets,
this is a world broken by many,
one where children don't eat.
the downtrodden are giving up,
men dream of war in their sleep,
the one percent are ******,
and it all weighs on me.

Give me the words to fuel the fire
burning in my gut
It's growing stronger with every addition,
every insult, every cut
It's catching my blood a ablaze,
I feel my body burning up
Give me the words to fuel the fire,
I haven't had enough

(Actual title)*
Blue jeans

Everything is as it should be
So why do I feel so blue?
There's hardly a moment I'm not happy,
But right now, I just don't know what to do.

Is it the way my jeans rub my legs raw?
Or perhaps it's nothing at all

I was wrong
love has conditions
one of them is to please
not tease
and
if
I

can breathe
I'm doing it wrong

I want to go camping
no I want to live in the woods

shh and allow me
to find the words

there aren't any;
just know I would
live through it all
again

I would write a thousand poems for you,
In fact, every one from here on out, is yours.
I don't know what you mean to me, not anymore,
But that doesn't matter now, only that once we were close,
Only that I once would have thrown it all away,
To make you whole.

don't know what I'm doing here,
came with high expectations
for my pretenses to fall through,
but the only one falling now is me;
I can't seem to understand,
how everyone else can do this so easily
live a life they never asked for,
as if they did and they're happy;
how could anyone be happy
in a world as cruel as ours,
where its cooler to not care
than to get angry and cry,
because there's nothing
that any of us can do to change it
anyway

anyway
what I'm saying is again,
I don't see a point to this *******
why fight, struggle, cry, and hurt
when the end game is the same;
dead and then forgotten, buried in the dirt
or burned and turned to ashes,
sitting pretty on a shelf or scattered to the wind
our bodies becoming nothing fast,
while our soul begins a new journey on its own
wherever that is, whatever it is
maybe I'm more ready than I thought
to taste that kind of freedom

i am flying free
from your suffocating grasp
finally free at last

To love is to be free
Free from the weights
That everday hate
Persures us with in
Life

To sleep is to be free
Free from all the stress
Caused by too much of this
****** up reality called
Life

I never use to have so much free time
I was always busy,
With the same people, doing the same things,
But I was busy all the same
Now that everyone has gone,
I have endless free time,
And nothing to do with it
I use to value the time I spent alone,
Reading to myself late at night
Largely because it didn't happen often,
I loved taking walks by myself,
With no real destination or purpose,
Because then it was quiet,
And I didn't have to fight for words
Now it's only quite because everyone has gone,
There's no longer anyone to talk to
I thought when I was busy all the time,
That if one day everyone left,
I would be fine, it wouldn't matter
How wrong I was then,
It's so depressing to be alone
Knowing that the people you use to spend
Every minute with, laughing at the same things
not because there wasn't anything else,
but because those were our jokes, our secrets,
and now its like they hold no meaning,
I could go over everything we've ever done together
And it wouldn't matter, just like I predicted
because you're already gone,
and you've probably forgotten
but I can't bring myself to forget,
Instead I linger in the past
where I was happy
I only feel sad now

you were a better friend to me in a few months
then some have been to me in years
yet now when we see each other in the halls
we act like we're total strangers
the fallout was all my fault
I didn't believe I deserved a friend
"it wasn't fair you got stuck with me"
and so to make it up to you, I left
now I see how mistaken I was
to think such a foolish thing
but I'm the insecure one of us
it's my job to keep my heart in a sling

You soothe the chaotic confusion that is my soul
I'm like a crazed chameleon, colors out of control
On my own I can't recall if I was truly black or white
But by your light I am calm, content with no fright

I see myself as I should be, beautiful, if I could be
You're the only one to trust to tell me the truth
And with your hand in mine, I strip all color from my skin
No need of pretenses when you know me from out and within

You intrigue me
With your ***** humor
And filthier mind
Look at the time
I should be in bed
But instead
I'm talking to you
With your *** soaked tongue
And your poems for fun
You intrigue me

maybe one day
I'll see you again
holding their hand
while their making you laugh
and I'll be forced to remember
when back in the day
that person was me
who put that smile on your face
but those days are gone
the memories erased

he said it was lust
that took over his brain
he said he was sorry
for causing me pain
he said that hes done
and it wont happen again
he said this all last time
its just part of a game

"Let me get to know you"

Well, if you'd like to know me
You'd have to know how to read me
Because if my past serves me right,
I'll try so very hard
But never really tell you anything.
Instead I'll tell strangers
All about how I feel,
About you,
About life,
About me.

Don't be jealous
Just open a link
Type a few words
Find me online
And read me
Then you'll know
Exactly who I am
Well, maybe not exactly..

I tend to lie to strangers*
But I'll never lie to you

I can't let my weakness show
I can't let these people know---
That I------------
             ()
I want to give up
up
up
up
oh-------
        (* x2* )

I'm so sick
                      Of all this ****---
I've grown tired
                     With all of it---
I've had enough
                     Of being--- perfect---

I'm done with being--- the girl
You want me to be---!
It's time to take over--- the world,
And finally be free---!
Don't try and stop me from rising,
You'll only be supplying my fire within,
There's nothing standing in my way now!
I. Wont. Back. Down-------------!

and as you trace my face
with the back of your hand,
the earth stands still
as if carved from glass

and only your warmth on my skin
in the dead of the night
is worth everything
that has come to pass

I use to write about her,
and how his hands
felt on my skin..

my past, I now spurn,
and I wear my scars
proudly; I win

"It was a long time ago.."

                           It still hurts!

"I don't like her anymore.."*

                          Are you sure?

"There were reflections everywhere.."

                          You could have shut your eyes!

"You made me lonely.."

                         Go ahead, blame me then..

Blame me for your unfaithful nature!
Blame me for all these little things you do!
Blame me because if you had to blamed yourself
You would have to admit to the facts,
Something you refuse to do!
You are a manwhore, a player, and you don't care
If you break the heart of the girl
Whom you so shamelessly claim you love,
Whom you say you would do anything for,
Whom you say you will never hurt!
I don't care if it's been five months or five days,
It all hurts me the same way!
You want me to forgive you for your mistakes
But you won't even admit that you're to blame!
You don't want me to hate them, so I wont.
I'll hate you instead; I'm learning something..
It's that love and hate are complimentary emotions
They move well together, dancing in a perfect harmony
I can love you with all my heart, give you everything, play your games
I can blind myself from the truth, to save myself some pain,
I can love you and care for you and cherish you with every part of me
But if you do not change the way you deal with our problems,
If you choose to stay the same, and hurt me again and again
Then I will hate you with all the passion in which I love you

You say I'm rude because I don't say hi
I don't remind you that I tried
I waved and smiled and called your name
Each time you ignored me all the same
It's all right though, I don't really mind
At least I know that I tried

she's done so many things she never thought she could do. she's loved herself more than ever before, and yet, the revulsion when she looks in the mirror has never felt so true.

the way he kisses me, sometimes..
it leaves my toes curling,
those butterflies churning,
and I'll tell you, I've never felt so alive.