so much wasted time
chasing temporary feelings
only to tear ourselves apart
for those who aren’t listening.
A million thought out words
only to be lost in translation-
we pray for companionship
but end up with damnation.

I was in love with a wasteland
because it was once home to sunflowers.
My memories had become locusts
and left nothing to grow in their wake.
Little did I know that the sunflowers
did not stand a chance.

I felt like I was in love
with a wasteland because it
once birthed a bed of flowers.
I was in love with memories
that had long since passed-
my mind became my enemy.
Little did I know that those flowers
were poisonous little things.

All this time
we have been given,
I will not waste it.
I will not give up
on us.
I will keep on
trying.

I let myself go like water
flowing through the Earth.
I want to fill every corner
of this world.

Like water,
love cycles through you and I,
and every corner of this world.
It's always flowing,
always adapting,
always transforming-
where would we be without it?

You’re in the colours
I see everyday and you’re
in the rainbows I see
on special days.
Even though I don't see you anymore,
you still make up the spectrum
that gives my life beauty.
I don't see how I could forget you
when you're still painting
the colours in my life.

I am forever
longing for the moment
where you and I
become
'we'

Ugly thoughts
and ugly habits
on a Wednesday night.
I’m out of *** and
have an early start tomorrow.
It's just me, my pen and
these thoughts now.  
****...

I think back
to when we first met and
compare it to where we are now...
what happened?

What if the flowers of spring won't blossom?
What if I never run through the fields again?
What if I can't make it through the winter?
What if I may never see you again?
What if you won't wait for me anymore?
What if we won't find a way?

What if a dream
of someone is bought on
by that person thinking
about you?

Sometimes
I miss the sensations,
the thrill, the palpitations,
the titillations, the adventure.
But nothing more, just that,
or so I tell myself.

It hurts me so much
to see what I see,
what hurts me more is
that no one else sees it.

I would fly to Mars
Just to see your smile
a smile brighter than the stars
It makes my heart leap a mile
I would swim an ocean
Just to kiss your lips
I’d feel as happy as a dolphin
That does all sorts of flips

For a few months,
you’ll think you’re making progress;
don’t fool yourself,
You haven’t even started.
Everything will smell like him.
Your pillow,
your clothes,
even the air.
You'll even still have their cards and photos
lined upon your bedside table.
You'll get drunk,
and you'll send them poems you wrote,
and songs that remind you of them.  
They'll tell you you’re a good writer,
and this will be the last real thing
they ever say to you.
You'll find you won't be able to write
if it's not about them,
they still plague your mind,
your thoughts,
and your dreams.
The first poem you write that’s not about them
will feel like victory at last.
It won’t be.
They'll always find a way
to slither back into your words.
Your friends will keep listening to you weep,
as they weep over the one that got away too.
They come and go in the middle of your favorite songs,
between each beat you see their smile,
and their beauty in every piece of art;
their beauty in every stroke.
Whenever someone asks you what your favorite color is,
you just want to say 'their eyes'.
They light up like a lake in twilight,
like the moon you shared your first kiss below.
You'll want to go back there for closure.
You still haven’t done it yet.
You aren’t ready to let go.
If you do go you know it'll only make it worse.
And for the rest of your life,
you will be hoping to meet someone
as magical as them.
Every soul that catches your eye,
you won’t really be looking at them.
You’ll be searching for them.
You’ll never find them again.

what would I do
in between kissing
and drinking with you?
I would be so lost
and alone

When do these thoughts stop?
When will be the day when
I stop thinking about you?
When will be the day when
I stop asking
"what can I do?"

Summer has
only just begun,
yet it feels like winter
now that you are here.
Hell will freeze over
by the time all is
said and done.

Where do we go from here?
How do we move,
when there is no more ground
beneath us?
How do we fly
without our wings?
I don't know where
we are going
anymore.

There is a park bench
where lovers sit -
where we could have sat;
I pass it every day.
There is a hotel
in Monaco
where lovers go -
where we could go,
I dream it every night.
There is a beach in town
with sun and joy abound,
where lovers lie -
where we could lie.
There is a bed
In a room, in a home
where lovers live,
where we could have lived
happily ever after.

Hey, how are you?
How’s your family?
Where have you been lately?
There are so many things  
I have been meaning to ask you.
Can’t believe it’s been so long
since I last heard your voice.
It's true, I still miss you sometimes
but I now see you're probably
better off without me.
Just looking back on us
never fails to put a smile
upon my face,
but it also brings a tear
to know I can't make you
smile
anymore.

Who are you
when the doors close and
you're left with your
shadow and silence?
Who are you
when no one is looking-
no eyes or judgement on
the way you conduct yourself
for everyday life?
Who are you
when there are no likes,
no comments and no audience?
Who are you really?

Sometimes I get the feeling
that my demons love me more
than my angels.
Maybe the fallen are the ones
who know how to lift you up
and maybe the empty ones
are the ones to make you feel whole.

Why do we write?
Is it to fill the bottomless hole
in our hearts
dug by those who
come and go,
who defile and destroy,
and those who do
not understand
your heart?

We are all just wicks
clinging to the light as we burn
through time,
yet no candle
can burn forever.

I have nothing
left to say to you
anymore.
I now know what you have done
and who you really are.
You have shown your
true colours and now
I'm wide awake.

I wonder if you know
how to love me when I’m down.
Not only through affection, but  
to be a shining light in these
tunnels of darkness.
I constantly battle my demons-
will you be the angel by my side?
Are you able to fill the void
when a piece of me is
missing from my soul?  
I want you to be here through
the dark days, not only the bright.

Perhaps I am
just a window
for everyone to see through,
to lift me up for their own vanity
only to put me down when
the world grows dark.

I find myself peeking through
a window I had closed long ago.
All that remains is shadow and silence
of a life long left behind.
That place builds up dust now,
an empty room that I
once called home.

In your eyes
A fascinating insight
A window
For a soul of glass
A fragile heart
A delicate mind
Torn apart
One too many times

Winter is hard
when you have so
much love and you are not
here to receive it.
Nothing illuminates the darkness,
nothing warms the coldness and
nothing thaws the ice from
this heart when you are
not here as my sun.

I find myself
in the same winter grave
year after year.
Lucky for me,
it's not too cold
for me to claw my way
back into the warm arms
of summer.

How solitary
and sublime these
winter nights have been.
I have always preferred
the shadows and silence
to the endless crowds
and commotion of
everyday life.

Two souls finding each other
in this perfect little corner of the world-
a Christmas miracle unto itself but
we both know that this
Winter Wonderland
can't last forever.

I will wait for this to pass,
sometimes, that's all you can do.
I will pray it to go away,
this is what desperation does.
I will wish for it to never return,
I wish this every time.

Are you hoping they will
come back or say they miss you?
Are you hoping they will
wipe away all those tears and scars
they left upon you?
Are you sure you are not wishful thinking?
That they have not thought about you since
and have gone the farthest
they could from you?

If you
ask the stars,
they will tell you
that I won't shut up.
Indeed,
I wish upon them
every night,
wishing for you.

I remember when
you were still a sunflower-
back when you planned to reach the sun,
back before they had trimmed your leaves
and left you to wither.

Like a sunflower,
you pour so much
love and light into something
only for the forces of nature
to wither it away.
The odds are always
stacked against
life.

You are the beauty of
a thousand sunflowers
and your smile makes the
sunrise in my chest.  
Your roots caress this soul
and intertwine your name
with every petal.

I carry you with me
wherever I go
between heart and soul,
in the extraordinary and
the ordinary moments in life.
I keep you in these eyes
that dream of a future
of you and I,
in my lips
that tell the tale of this hardship,
in my hands
that write of our wonderland,
in the mind
that never left you behind.

We may not be in love
anymore,
but that doesn't mean I
don't want you to be happy
without me.

I have written you,
and I will write you again,
for the words can not stop flowing.
They have long since forgotten
the way back to you,
now they are just trying to
fill up the void that exists
in my heart.

To kiss your lips
again
is a broken heart
worth repeating.

I love you sober
I love you high-
you have a kiss
that money can't buy.

The skies ache for the sun,
the seas thirst for the moon.
The stars kiss their planets,
and I yearn for you.

Yesterday I
stared at the sunflowers
and lost myself in
the thought of you.

This poem
is for you
because I simply
don't know any other way
to keep you close at bay-
to stop you from fading away.

Sometimes
you just have to
let the anger, the darkness,
the sadness and chaos go.
Sometimes
all you can do is
yield these feelings
to the past and try
to not look back.