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Mar 2020 · 357
Spring 🌻
lilhadi Mar 2020
It’s spring and it’s starting again,
the longing that begins and begins and begins.
Kim Addonizzio, from “Onset,” featured in “When She Named Fire: an Anthology of Contemporary Poetry by American Women.
Jan 2020 · 578
Lies | Anna Bell
lilhadi Jan 2020
“I lOve you”
Those words
                                      from her lips.
I believed her deceitful manner, her charisma; it was alluring.
I think most people take this as an s.o. but it could be anyone who stopped loving you a friend, a parent to just deceived you to get what they want from you. I also think of the devil to deceive you & feed you with lies to follow her.
Jul 2019 · 319
Oh! Pain Still Lives..
lilhadi Jul 2019
"Just let me die. I'm so tired of this. These tears won't stop. Why the pain still lives in my heart? I'm so ******* tired..." I understand...
- Ana
From 11 JUL_postcomment
Jul 2019 · 271
lilhadi Jul 2019
"When we think of “meant to be,” we automatically assume forever. But maybe it isn’t supposed to last forever. Maybe it’s just someone who is in your life to teach you something. Maybe forever is not the person, but what we gain from them."

- excerpt from a diary I don’t own. (Via southernsparkleandshine)
Source: southernsparkleandshine
Aug 2018 · 449
lilhadi Aug 2018
The difference between a boy and a girl in moving on.
When it's over for a girl, it's hard at first, but it gets easier later on for her. At first, she'll be devastated. There will be many days she'll text him and show him that she wants to get back together. There will be many nights where she'll lay in bed and send him paragraphs before she sleeps. There will be many occasions where she'll lurk on his social media and see if he's with another girl or around other girls. There will be many times where she'll get mad when she sees him doing things without considering her feelings because in her mind, they're still together. She'll isolate herself and not want to be around other people. She wouldn't be in the mood to do anything eventful. She'll lose motivation in life and feel like it'll never get better because she depended on loving him for so long that she doesn't know what to do without him. But then, after some time, she realizes that maybe things are better off this way, maybe it just wasn't meant to be as she had hoped, and maybe it's time for her to stop waiting for him to come back. Eventually, she remembers how to be on her own. Eventually, she realized how she was fine before him. Eventually, she recognizes that the only person who deserves her love more than ever is herself.
When it's over for a guy, it's easy at first, but it gets harder later. At first, he'll feel relieved. There will be many days where he'll ignore her text messages because he doesn't have to deal with her anymore. There will be many nights where he won't care enough to reply to her messages because he's too busy partying. There will be many occasions where his Snapchat will be full of girls and it wouldn't bother him that it bothers her. There will be many times where he'll argue with her and remind her that they aren't together anymore so she should stop being crazy. He'll enjoy being around his friends. He's be up for meeting new friends and having new experiences. He will so happy that he's finally free to do whatever he wants because being with her was so straining that he had started to love her less and less until he didn't love he hard enough to try anymore. But then, after some time, he realizes that maybe the single life isn't what he wants, maybe it was foolish of him to treat her the way he did, and maybe he should step up and be everything she needed. Eventually, he remembers how much he adored her crazy personality. Eventually, he realized how much he misses her when he stares at the other side of the bed where she used to lay. Eventually, he recognizes how he ****** up on the one person he didn't deserve and was so lucky to have.
words by: teddie nguyen
Jul 2018 · 299
lilhadi Jul 2018
I think I’m strong and I think I’m compassionate and I think I can make a difference in the world if I decide to but I hate you because you made me doubt that. Because out of all the things in this world to cry over, I cried over you. And after all the things that I’ve gotten through, I let you take me down. And out of all the better, more important things that I could have dedicated my time to, I spent hours thinking about you, talking myself out of calling you, wondering why you did what you did and what I did wrong. And you didn’t deserve that. Out of all the things that deserved my time, tears, effort, and passion, you were never one.
Jul 2018 · 488
lilhadi Jul 2018
Love.! Love feels different all over the world, love is shown different all over the world; that’s just start depending by the family small interactions until to the personal final growth among the so called friends.  Now, looking back I finally realised I was so blind and every tear in front of my distracted face was a ‘cry for help to let me know that I’m badly losing you; baby girl I want to let you know that I’m so-sorry for making you feel diffident and I’m glad that you were there helping and supporting me everytime, beside that fact.  Even if those late-thoughts maybe will never make you change your mind, I’m still writing this down for both of us. Harmfully and insidious all the way, I destroyed your beautiful innocence and because of your enormously love for me, you let this...ungrateful child at that time, change your smile for eternity. Then, for sure the distance between us in the past time opened me a door to a totally new mindset with you as a mandatory focus point. It’s not about a second chance, I just feel like you are the chosen one and i don’t want to lose you because of my mistakes. As you can see, this time I’m hyper-aware regarding you, stuck on this idea and I will go for it until I’ll be able to make you see that there is us, two independent people making a deal that they will help make other person the best and happiest version of themselves.
Jul 2018 · 347
remember ..
lilhadi Jul 2018
Remember! You will never have these days again ..
lilhadi Jun 2018
When you have an argument with your partner, keep it private and don't announce it for everyone to know, especially on social media. Be mature and handle the conflict internally by talking to each other, not talking about each other because not only will it leave a negative impression about you, but your relationship as well.
Talk about your problems and not about your partner. Too many people don't realize the damage it causes by letting their anger take control of them. Be mindful of your partner's emotions because they are hurting just as much as you are. Settle down, take a deep breath, clear your angry thoughts, and have an open discussion on how to solve the problem instead of pointing fingers and blaming who's at fault.
Remember, words can leave serious wounds so be careful with what you say when you're angry. Understand that your partner is also vulnerable when you're arguing so don't add fuel to the fire by lashing out and saying hurtful words.
When you begin to understand that communication is important, you will learn to respect your partner's feelings more and you will consider hearing their side of the story and listen to what they have to say instead of just forcing your own beliefs all the time.
It's not about who's right and who's wrong, it's about resolving the argument as peaceful as possible without hurting each other's feelings that could lead to resentment or even worse, break-ups. It's important to keep your relationship's privacy especially when you're both at your weakest during misunderstandings and fights.
Weather the storm together and keep your partner under the umbrella. Don't let them walk under the rain.
Jun 2018 · 282
Am I not enough?
lilhadi Jun 2018
You are more than enough. You have always been. Never feel worthless just because someone made you feel that way.
You are amazing with your scars and imperfections.
Remember this, you are worth fighting for.

written by: Jed Castro
Jun 2018 · 349
I will remember prnCz ..
lilhadi Jun 2018
I’ll remember the kisses, our lipx raw with love & how you gave me everything you had & how I offered you what was left of me ..
I’ll remember my small room, the feel of you, the light in the window, your attire, your odour, our morning hugs, our noons & our nights .. our bodies spilled together, & the sleeps ..
Your leg, my legs .. 
Your arm, my arms .. 
Your smile & the warmth of you who made me fall, deep in you ..
Jun 2018 · 222
Hold on
lilhadi Jun 2018
Never let anyone make you feel worthless. You are worth it more than you’ll ever know.

Never let someone make you feel that you are not enough. Never let someone treat you like you are just nothing.
Never let someone stop you from shining. Never lose the sparks in you eyes for someone who never valued your existence.

It hurts, but you have to trust the process.
Hold on, better days are surely coming!
Jun 2018 · 216
lilhadi Jun 2018
If it looks real and feels real, do you think it matters if it’s real?
- Daniel Nayeri
lilhadi Jun 2018
Aries– No matter how confident they appear, they constantly need reassurance that they’re doing okay. They want to know that their friends and family are proud of them. They thrive when those they love are proud.

Taurus– They are a lot deeper than they let on. They feel so much. They’re like the “parent” friend but they get tired of being so responsible all the time. Believe it or not, they love being taking care of.

Gemini– THEY’RE NOT THEIR STEREOTYPES!!!! Oh my god they absolutely are NOT their stereotypes. They care so much. They obsess over things very easily but it’s endearing. They’re the best communicators of the entire zodiac. Listen to them.

Cancer– Sometimes they can seem a bit selfish. They aren’t. Literally everything they do is for other people. Love is the most sacred thing in their lives. They’re at their happiest when they’re making their lovers and friends happy.

Leo– They’re waaaaay more emotional than they let on. They don’t like to express emotions for fear of seeming weak, but if they love you, you know it. They’re blunt as hell, and you may think it’s because they’re being mean but it isn’t. It’s because they want you to succeed.

Virgo– Similar to Leo, they are bluntly critical of their friends but only because they want you to be thriving. They are arguably the smartest sign. Listen to them. They also aren’t ALL neat freaks. Yes, some are. But not always. Their lives can best be described as “controlled chaos.” It works for them.

Libra– They’re so much more sensitive than they let on. They come off as the most confident of the signs though. They appear ditzy but they aren’t at all. They’re the signs that can be friends with anyone. If they ever appear “fake,” it isn’t because they are fake. It’s because they want peace, balance, and for everyone to be happy.

Scorpio– For goodness sake, they aren’t ALL dark and brooding and mean. They’re actually one of the most sensitive signs there is. They take things so incredibly personal. They’re made to laugh easily. Not nearly as intimidating as they appear to be BUT, that doesn’t mean they can’t become mean as HELL when they want to be.

Sagittarius– They don’t do well with emotions, only because they have so many inside of them. They don’t MEAN to come across as a victim, but they do sometimes. It’s only because they have a hard time with communication. They want someone who’s going to take care of them no matter how much they try to push you away.

Capricorn– They have such a guard up, but they’re so cute. God SO CUTE. They come across as the “class clowns” and it’s mostly because they are afraid of letting people get close to them. When they do get close to someone though, they’re incredibly smart.

Aquarius– They do want you to love them, no matter how distant they can seem at times. They’re the masters of making you think you know everything about them when you actually don’t. They give off a vibe that makes you feel comfortable enough to tell them everything about you. They’re great listeners, but they want someone to listen to them too.

Pisces– They can read your mind. Don’t even doubt it– they can. They tune in to your feelings, and they understand you more than you know. Take everything they say seriously, because every single one of them has immense wisdom beyond their years. But love is something they fear

Jun 2018 · 185
lilhadi Jun 2018
You will not be punished for your anger,
you will be punished by your anger.
lilhadi Jun 2018
“It’s okay to get tired sometimes. Don’t give up, everything will happen at the right time. All your wishes will come true.”
Jun 2018 · 123
Toy Story
lilhadi Jun 2018
“When somebody loved me everything was beautiful. Every hour we spent together lives within my heart.”
Jun 2018 · 221
lilhadi Jun 2018
"The best gift you are ever going to give someone — the permission to feel safe in their own skin. To feel worthy. To feel like they are enough."

- Hannah Brechner
Jun 2018 · 254
lilhadi Jun 2018
We feed each other
our saliva like honey
dripping with dawn’s
tender glow
as we open up
like baby birds,
begging to be nourished
at all costs
in this lingual forest
Your breath finds a home
on my tastebuds,
my tongue
in your cheek
Jun 2018 · 327
A Concept
lilhadi Jun 2018
Me, you, at an aquarium, holding hands & looking at sea turtles
Jun 2018 · 386
lilhadi Jun 2018
"I want to love you, really I do.
The connection we have is extraordinary, and we both prefer tea over coffee.
But I’ve felt the heartbreak. I’ve been witness to the shattering of friendships, loss of friends, loneliness of the aftermath. And I can’t go through it again.
So call me self-destructive. But I’m not the type to risk it all when I just taped my soul back together."

j. e. b --  ((About Being Afraid to Love))
Jun 2018 · 223
What are you afraid of?
lilhadi Jun 2018
A question that is often asked as a light question.

People expect an answer like snakes or heights, something simple, something unimportant actually. But the truth is I’m not afraid of spiders and I have absolutely no problem taking the elevator.

I’m afraid of time, how everything goes by way too soon, how I might run out of time before I even start living.

I’m afraid of making mistakes, being at the wrong place at the wrong time and completely messing up my happiness.

I’m afraid of choosing the wrong person to build a life with, not knowing what love really is, not knowing there is more.

But those are subjects far too heavy for small-talk and I’ll just get weird looks from the people who asked me. So I’ll be polite, I’ll say I’m afraid of sharks, ducks, or big dogs.

But our real fears, are those unspoken.
Jun 2018 · 97
lilhadi Jun 2018
Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn’t it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up.
Jun 2018 · 110
Cigarette Ash
lilhadi Jun 2018
She smelled like cigarette ash and sadness, and I found myself growing silent as I finally understood the distance between us, and what it means to give up on a person.
Jun 2018 · 93
lilhadi Jun 2018
I hope you find someone who likes falling asleep to the sound of your voice more than the sight of your text.
Jun 2018 · 114
two yEars
lilhadi Jun 2018
Two years & here I am, I’ve learned from my mistakes,
It’s hard to move on when the memory still aches ..
This time, I’ll bring a pillow to lift my head up slightly
& set aside the books so I may converse politely.
I promise to take in the world as well as write it out,
I’ll break beyond my boundaries, I will surpass your doubt.

- Second Chance
Jun 2018 · 108
Storms //
lilhadi Jun 2018
He was made of oceans and all she wanted was to drown in his storms.

— The End —