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Jul 2020 · 309
falling stars.
nishta Jul 2020
there are just some moments in your life,
so irrelevant
yet so vivid in your mind.

a different person,
a different sofa.
singing while sobbing;
tears raining over skin like falling stars.

clueless about everything,
an empty ache lingered.

still.
why do i always start bawling when at home and singing songs of old? ahhHH
Jul 2020 · 248
2-D.
nishta Jul 2020
with her two dimesional spectacles
and security blanket hair,
she embodies the saying -
'there is a thin line between love and hate.'
and now i'm teetering off the edge,
blind to where i fall.
the feeling,
the same both ways.
she views the world in a narrow way but.
Jun 2020 · 204
authenticity?
nishta Jun 2020
the past,
a whirlwind of perspectives
coalesce into a tale
some hidden
some warped
some unknown.
humans
so multifacted, akin to history.
i wonder
will i ever know all the sides there are to me?
or shall parts of me too
remain in the dust of what's beyond reach.
an untold, undiscovered self.
Like how history has a dominant perspective to an event i wonder what is my side that most people perceive.
And another fear of my list of many fears is of course the fear of not knowing myself.
Jun 2020 · 649
a guitar riff.
nishta Jun 2020
the guitar riff
strums my heartstrings ,
plucking and letting go
with the soft unmarred hands of a child.
time turns one last time
before this memory too,
fades
as half of my essence had before.
leaving my marred hand
with no story.
the child is a past self.
I am so scared of growing up and forgetting all these tiny miniscule details of the whole picture which is my life. I seem to be forgettinng everything, every story and i don't want to grow old with a hazy memory of what i  used to be before.
May 2020 · 138
brimstone
nishta May 2020
him,
with his hard set mouth
and his innocuous horns.
those deep dark eyes
juxtaposing the soft planes of his form.
unreadable,
yet open to the touch.
he treads on clear water with a vindictive strut
to reach no destination;
aimless.
an inner self personified.
Apr 2020 · 397
kites.
nishta Apr 2020
tethered to a string
it flies,
ever free
into the early hours of dusk.
the blue and purple triangles
merging as one.  

the times of what has passed,
stolen sweets and mirthful eyes
crinkle in the sunlight.
mindless chatter fills the abyss
as the torrent sea laps at the feet
of the storyteller and the lamb.

little boy, alight with glee
turns to his father
but there,
encompassing the boundless expanse
on the empty field,
not a flower sways.

the sea once turbulent, whispers in his wake.
a story, a tradition between two individuals.
Apr 2020 · 435
sol
nishta Apr 2020
sol
a feeling of mustard
sweeps through me
it's esoteric strokes
cradling my essence,
pooling at my feet,
downing in drowsiness.

   -if sunny was a feeling.
the sun as a painting and a feeling. (trying to get back into writing and being more consistent.
Jan 2020 · 291
hubli
nishta Jan 2020
coasting through the withering terrain
sun follows as i hum against the winds,
shadowed by the roof of a desolate dusty pink sky
a feeling of insignificance washes over me.

that i am just another cog in the machine
mediocrity, ambrosial on my tongue
essence that i crave.
its been a long time. as i was ona road trip driving through a desolate field witha beautiful pink sky enveloping us i had a sudden wave of this emotion that i cannot explain but it was the closest to feeling peace in my opinion.
Jul 2019 · 357
lost.
nishta Jul 2019
i etched the shape of an eye
on the sidewalk
but the chalk was washed away
the dust running in rivulets
down the street.
lost it's way,
lost it's reason.
been feeling quite lost for quite sometime.
what am i even doing with my life?
Jul 2019 · 1.0k
chai.
nishta Jul 2019
she was chai
exotic and thrilling.
i was addicted
drowning in her spices
her taste overwhelming me
engulfing me
but while i craved her
wanted her
she could never fulfil
the thirst in me.

i am parched
and i have no water.
chai=tea
Jul 2019 · 272
ignorance.
nishta Jul 2019
when i was younger
i never understood the saying
'ignorance is bliss.'
how can one not want to know more about the world?
now that i've matured,
now that i've experienced the horrors of this world,
the fear has entrapped me.
disgusted, i fled.
i fled to my safe place
but when i reached,
i found it to be tainted.
no longer did it bring me comfort.
my mind has become paranoid.
every single movement
every single moment
has brought me to my edge.
i now understand.
i just wish to be naïve again
to forget the terrors,
to live in my cocoon,
i sometimes wish i'd stayed inside
my mother's womb,
never to come out.
Jul 2019 · 598
mundane life.
nishta Jul 2019
grab your bags
let go of your inhibitions
and let's leave.
leave this town
leave this city
and break free from our shackles, our chains.

we'll run by fields of gold
bask in the warmth of dusk
wade through the weeks of cold
and reach the crossroad of life.

together,
all the way.
i've always wanted to run away from city life and just explore nature and be with nature and just live.
Jul 2019 · 936
where did it all go?
nishta Jul 2019
i'm standing at the sidelines
worn down and tired
watching my life blur past me.
life is such a fleeting thing.
Jun 2019 · 302
big sister.
nishta Jun 2019
i can't imagine
a life without you.
without your beautiful smile
filling me with warmth.

you are what i look for in every person.
you are what i hope i can be someday.
your whole embodiment is the only thing i wish to see,
when all else is dark.

being so far away from you
it strips me.
it tires me.
i am feverish without you.

everyday i think about us.
i just want to be with you
do mundane things with you,
not worry about if you were ever to die.

i'd be nothing if it weren't for you
i love you.
i just want to see my sister. i want to grow old with her. Everyday apart and my heart just bleeds for her. i miss her so much.
just something i wrote when i was very emotional.
Jun 2019 · 294
entr'acte
nishta Jun 2019
my head is going to burst.
the thoughts are too crowded in my head.

the storm brews,
it shifts and turns,
rearing it's ugly head.
but i'm the only one who sees it.

my mouth is so bitter
the dryness of my throat slowly engulfing me.

the storm quietens,
slowly sinking to the floor,
not moving.
a corpse of what once lived.

my reprieve comes in intervals
the paranoia entrapping me till change makes it's way.
i sometimes wish i could be a naïve and oblivious girl once again, if it were to save me from my vice ,which is overthinking.
Nov 2018 · 585
bloom
nishta Nov 2018
meet me there.
over the horizon,
where the line between the sky and mountains
ceases to exist.
where my canvas remains bare
and blindingly white.
yearning
yearning
to be painted.

splatter me with hues of colours,
then leave me
leave me unfinished.

so i dissolve
my very essence
pooling at my feet.
now a murky shade of brown
i seep to the ground
and lay there.

but a tiny flower blooms in my wake.
nothing but a fragment of what once thrived.
ive been gone for quite a while.
physically and mentally
Sep 2018 · 303
nostalgia.
nishta Sep 2018
i watched the clouds
the endless sky.
nostalgia,
has now become a part of me.
oh the feeling of nostalgia is so overpowering.
Sep 2018 · 376
hurt.
nishta Sep 2018
who do you think you are?
do you think it's you and only you?
alas dear friend, you are but a mere speck
in the grand scheme of the universe.
ruining what's left
just for the sake of it.
taking everything as a joke
maybe it reflects something within.
there will be repercussions.
i see them gushing towards you
like a tidal wave.
and when dust settles
and darkness swallows you whole
who will be there?
for once, it would have been me.
what goes around comes around. life is an endless karmic cycle.
Sep 2018 · 589
bitter
nishta Sep 2018
drifting apart
like two sheets of ice
my love.
isn't it lovely?
what once was mine
is now not.
is it me?
am i the problem?
am i ever going to not be
alone?
i'm drowning.
i'm drowning and i can't see the light
that once was so bright.
i'm blinded by darkness
yet my eyes are open wide.
when did i become so bitter?
so jaded?
facing problems i've never faced before
has made me weary.
she is forgetting
me, our memories, everything.
i want to flee.
from this town, from this world
from life.
isn't it lovely?
what once was mine
is now not.
i've been struggling. i've never had a friend problem where i actually want to hold on to it. but its just not working out. this growing dislike towards her just keeps growing each day. i'm not depressed though this feeling of betrayal from friends, this feeling of drifting apart from someone i once thought was dear... it's..hard. and the worst part is she doesn't care. And now i don't too.
Sep 2018 · 1.2k
firefly
nishta Sep 2018
how time flies
in the blink of an eye
you were gone.
my firefly.
sufjan stevens is my muse.
Sep 2018 · 632
whole.
nishta Sep 2018
i'll tell you my woes
peel the corners of my skin
and though the whispers turn into silence,
i am whole.

i found the missing piece
heard the echo of your words
and though i know it is a little too late,
i am whole.

i fall apart
fragment by fragment
and you are finally here just as i close my eyes,
i am whole.
Hi! My attempt at explaining this feeling i can't really identify except for in maybe one word- 'saudade'.

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