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sol Dec 2019
no means no
you asked if no really meant no
or if it meant yes i just was too scared indulge
no means no
but somewhere in this game
the translation got lost
i said no
you said no means yes in this game
confused i pondered if it had been my fault
if not knowing the rules was my fault
no means no
©sol /the poems i never wrote
M Solav Dec 2019
Sol vaste et immense de notre monde,
Contient et abreuve ceux que tu abrites;
Ces pensées sombres qui t'habitent,
Enterre-les à nouveau dans leurs tombes.

Lorsqu'apparaissent souvenirs et angoisses,
Lorsque démons d'hier refont surface,
Sache ne plus raidir, tel pierre, tel glace,
Sache enfin te démunir de fragiles carapaces.

Sol vaste et immense sous lequel gronde
De larges et longs couloirs couverts de stalagmites,
Ces désirs profonds qui jamais ne te quittent
Éclateront un jour comme des bombes.

Lorsque surgissent ces intimes miasmes, Lorsque tentation refait surface,
Sache ne plus raidir, tel pierre, tel glace,
Sache enfin te prévaloir de fragiles carapaces.

Ayant élevé ainsi nos corps au-dessus de ces ombres,
Que jaillisse à jamais les flammes par-delà les décombres.
Écrit en décembre 2016.
sol Jun 2018
Friday June 22, 2018

You turned my hair into flowers
A metaphoric bound you gave them
They became beautiful flowers that you enjoyed watching them bloom
But when I saw them as roses with thorns that cut me
You insisted they were soft daisies that brought protection
And when i brought out the scissors to cut them,set them loose,
Your anger came as a storm hissing on how I could do such a thing
On how I could **** something so beautiful
I howled for their beauty is exactly why I cut them
For I would like a bouquet to fence around me
These thorny roses shall do, keeping others out
But you insisted once again that they were daisies
You insisted that they gave a blanket of protection upon my shoulders,
That the river of hair down my spine was all I needed to be beautiful
©sol /the poems i never wrote
sol Jun 2018
8:25 am
Tuesday, April 24, 2018

His eyes spoke words that his mouth couldn't say
A warm breeze danced with his hair as I looked up
The sun stood on his shoulder giving him a peachy kiss
Chocolate caramel his eyes were but when he looked away they turned into glowing logs of wood
His hands tightly around my waist they stayed as he spoked soft words of poetry
Then a pause … our rib cages met and our hearts reached out for each other one last time
The stare between us was intense the type of intense you only see in movies, one last time our eyes locked
One last time, a goodbye kiss, gentle and sweet, taste of honey, the remaining color we had, spilled
One last time, a goodbye kiss

©sol /the poems i never wrote
sol Jul 2018
You’ve become my dopamine
Your touch runs through my blood, electrifying it
Your kiss, morphine
Stings my tongue
I took a pill to activate, you
To remember how it felt when you touched me
©sol /the poems i never wrote
sol Jun 2019
Wednesday, January 17, 2018

You were like snow
You looked so pure & clean
But when you touched me, you stung
You were ***** &  cold
Hard to breathe, hard to see
Black like coal
You were just like snow
©sol /the poems i never wrote
sol Oct 2019
My lungs filled with helium
Endearing trying to escape
Trying to fly
But the heavy lump of my body wouldn’t let them
They jsut banged against my chest trying to escape
Trying to feel free
But the anchor that was my body wouldn’t let them
©sol /the poems i never wrote
sol Nov 2019
Oct 22 19
10:34 PM

I figured it out
You were passionate and i was obsessive
Although they seemed similar they weren't
You, You could stop at any moment, at any time you desired, yes, it may seem hard & unfair & you might not want to but you could
You could just stop
i couldn't
i didn't
You were engraved in my bones, you were woven into my being
i couldn't
i can't just stop. i won't
i was obsessive
You were passionate,
i wasn't sewed into your damaged soul
i was just glued, you could rip me out when you desired
You were just passionate,
i was obsessive
Your essence stripped into mine, i couldn't just let you go
i didn't
©sol /the poems i never wrote
sol Nov 2019
November 26, 19

Depression is funny
It makes death seem so simple
black & white
When your life is scaled  to death it doesn't seem so bad
all the impulsive decisions
all the regretful tears
all the high times
It all doesn't seem so bad compared to death
Anything is better than death
than dying
When in a state where death is desired, sin seems sweeter
At least with sin, you could receive something
With sin, you could still receive some forgiveness some redemption
But death
Death redeems no one
depression is funny that way
©sol /the poems i never wrote
sol Nov 2019
We're like fire
With each laugh, we feel each other
Just spontaneously burst into flames,
Becoming hotter than needed
We're like fire
we desire so much, but get so little
We crave for the intimacy love brings
Starving for joy
Craving for more
We're like fire
Deprived of happiness
Caged from reality
We're like fire
Not everyone can handle us
We become too much for them, superfluous
We're like fire
Burning through the paths of what we can call life
Not easily handled, We're like fire

November 28, 2019
12:13 AM
©sol /the poems i never wrote
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