there are just some moments in your life,
so irrelevant
yet so vivid in your mind.

a different person,
a different sofa.
singing while sobbing;
tears raining over skin like falling stars.

clueless about everything,
an empty ache lingered.

still.

with her two dimesional spectacles
and security blanket hair,
she embodies the saying -
'there is a thin line between love and hate.'
and now i'm teetering off the edge,
blind to where i fall.
the feeling,
the same both ways.

the past,
a whirlwind of perspectives
coalesce into a tale
some hidden
some warped
some unknown.
humans
so multifacted, akin to history.
i wonder
will i ever know all the sides there are to me?
or shall parts of me too
remain in the dust of what's beyond reach.
an untold, undiscovered self.

the guitar riff
strums my heartstrings ,
plucking and letting go
with the soft unmarred hands of a child.
time turns one last time
before this memory too,
fades
as half of my essence had before.
leaving my marred hand
with no story.

him,
with his hard set mouth
and his innocuous horns.
those deep dark eyes
juxtaposing the soft planes of his form.
unreadable,
yet open to the touch.
he treads on clear water with a vindictive strut
to reach no destination;
aimless.

tethered to a string
it flies,
ever free
into the early hours of dusk.
the blue and purple triangles
merging as one.  

the times of what has passed,
stolen sweets and mirthful eyes
crinkle in the sunlight.
mindless chatter fills the abyss
as the torrent sea laps at the feet
of the storyteller and the lamb.

little boy, alight with glee
turns to his father
but there,
encompassing the boundless expanse
on the empty field,
not a flower sways.

the sea once turbulent, whispers in his wake.

a feeling of mustard
sweeps through me
it's esoteric strokes
cradling my essence,
pooling at my feet,
downing in drowsiness.

   -if sunny was a feeling.

coasting through the withering terrain
sun follows as i hum against the winds,
shadowed by the roof of a desolate dusty pink sky
a feeling of insignificance washes over me.

that i am just another cog in the machine
mediocrity, ambrosial on my tongue
essence that i crave.

i etched the shape of an eye
on the sidewalk
but the chalk was washed away
the dust running in rivulets
down the street.
lost it's way,
lost it's reason.

she was chai
exotic and thrilling.
i was addicted
drowning in her spices
her taste overwhelming me
engulfing me
but while i craved her
wanted her
she could never fulfil
the thirst in me.

i am parched
and i have no water.

when i was younger
i never understood the saying
'ignorance is bliss.'
how can one not want to know more about the world?
now that i've matured,
now that i've experienced the horrors of this world,
the fear has entrapped me.
disgusted, i fled.
i fled to my safe place
but when i reached,
i found it to be tainted.
no longer did it bring me comfort.
my mind has become paranoid.
every single movement
every single moment
has brought me to my edge.
i now understand.
i just wish to be naïve again
to forget the terrors,
to live in my cocoon,
i sometimes wish i'd stayed inside
my mother's womb,
never to come out.

grab your bags
let go of your inhibitions
and let's leave.
leave this town
leave this city
and break free from our shackles, our chains.

we'll run by fields of gold
bask in the warmth of dusk
wade through the weeks of cold
and reach the crossroad of life.

together,
all the way.

i'm standing at the sidelines
worn down and tired
watching my life blur past me.

i can't imagine
a life without you.
without your beautiful smile
filling me with warmth.

you are what i look for in every person.
you are what i hope i can be someday.
your whole embodiment is the only thing i wish to see,
when all else is dark.

being so far away from you
it strips me.
it tires me.
i am feverish without you.

everyday i think about us.
i just want to be with you
do mundane things with you,
not worry about if you were ever to die.

i'd be nothing if it weren't for you
i love you.

my head is going to burst.
the thoughts are too crowded in my head.

the storm brews,
it shifts and turns,
rearing it's ugly head.
but i'm the only one who sees it.

my mouth is so bitter
the dryness of my throat slowly engulfing me.

the storm quietens,
slowly sinking to the floor,
not moving.
a corpse of what once lived.

my reprieve comes in intervals
the paranoia entrapping me till change makes it's way.

meet me there.
over the horizon,
where the line between the sky and mountains
ceases to exist.
where my canvas remains bare
and blindingly white.
yearning
yearning
to be painted.

splatter me with hues of colours,
then leave me
leave me unfinished.

so i dissolve
my very essence
pooling at my feet.
now a murky shade of brown
i seep to the ground
and lay there.

but a tiny flower blooms in my wake.
nothing but a fragment of what once thrived.

i watched the clouds
the endless sky.
nostalgia,
has now become a part of me.

drifting apart
like two sheets of ice
my love.
isn't it lovely?
what once was mine
is now not.
is it me?
am i the problem?
am i ever going to not be
alone?
i'm drowning.
i'm drowning and i can't see the light
that once was so bright.
i'm blinded by darkness
yet my eyes are open wide.
when did i become so bitter?
so jaded?
facing problems i've never faced before
has made me weary.
she is forgetting
me, our memories, everything.
i want to flee.
from this town, from this world
from life.
isn't it lovely?
what once was mine
is now not.

how time flies
in the blink of an eye
you were gone.
my firefly.

i'll tell you my woes
peel the corners of my skin
and though the whispers turn into silence,
i am whole.

i found the missing piece
heard the echo of your words
and though i know it is a little too late,
i am whole.

i fall apart
fragment by fragment
and you are finally here just as i close my eyes,
i am whole.