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Hannah Beth Sep 2014
Leave a door open for us
Even a crack will do

And I'll leave my window latch unlocked

****, boy
I really do miss you.
Feeling rather melancholy tonight
Hannah Beth Aug 2014
Homophobia is not funny.

Care to hear what is?

The wrenching fear boring holes in your best friend’s once bright eyes
every Thursday afternoon, when she must enter a changing room filled with hostile glares

The violent purple bruise re-emerging beneath your brother’s left eye
the same bruise he told your mother about three weeks ago
that he’d “gotten in a rugby accident”

The gnawing feeling of loneliness in your classmate’s stomach as she lies in an otherwise empty bed
no longer able to hold her girlfriend’s hand in public
following a run-in with her mother at the supermarket

The boy next door who can’t bring himself to leave his bed
Immobilized with anxiety and wrapped up in the sheets
(it’s been six days, nine hours, and forty-two minutes since he told his best friend.)

The young woman who serves you your coffee on Saturdays
living on less than minimum wage for three years now
Since her mother left her to the streets

The kind boy you used to date, he’s been single for years
Caught and confused between miserable safety
and endless happiness

- - -


I lied before.
Not an ounce of wit lies within these words.
This is simply
an open letter to homophobes:

Find some ******* ******* originality for your jokes.
The poem says it all, really.
Hannah Beth May 2015
Little changes are adding up like the
Drip drop of water that pools in the bathroom sink
from a rusty metal tap not quite stoppered.

And I am glad it is opened.

I am glad to look up from the little pool of changes turned large
To flick my eyesight skywards and head on into the mirror that steams up with condensation as I breathe

and I'm me

I breathe, and I know I am alive.
I look in this mirror and just like all the water droplets I see all the changes

And they're in me.

The tap is gushing freely since the day I took control
I took residence in the drivers seat and found the courage to twist the metal between my fingers and let it be how it is to be

And I am healthy

I see lights in my eyes again
I see a shine in my hair
I see new length to it too
I see clothes chosen with flair

I see colour flood my skin and a smile that shows teeth
I see red painted lips and weight off my hips
I see confidence in my stance, upright and straight
I see peace and tranquility less smothered by hate

But most of all, and finally
I see what I have always wanted
I see, and I know that if I am not free
I am soon to be

(I see recovery.)
Hannah Beth Sep 2014
I sit and the sea surrounds me
My hair and body and face
Jagged rocks that cut
Glassy surface like hot
Steel through butter
And sprinkled sea foam
Envelopes itself in waves
Over and over
And over once more
Like never ending blankets
Strewn on the floor
And there is a song I don’t know
It buzzes far off while
The sky turns the water
Black navy blue
It drips and dribbles
Little ink drops
That envelop the waves
The stones
And the rocks
I spent my whole day by the sea today with friends and a few cans and it was honestly so lovely so being the sap i am, i wrote a poem
Hannah Beth Oct 2014
There's aching backs and dampened clothes
And sleepless nights pull at countless eyes
Words muttered through rusted locker doors
Slammed shut
Words that can't help but be heard

And hot angry voices chip at young minds like axes to ice
All racing to claim such a hollow little prize
Five days turn to haze
Then come weekend,
Drank away.

Because it's not about learning, is it? Not anymore.

It's about getting an A.
Shy
Hannah Beth Aug 2014
Shy

Her hand brushes
against my own
my mind screams
louder than even
the most horrific
of bombs to
hold it back
to close those
last few *******
feet between her
lips and mine
but all I
feel all that
shakes my entire
body and soul
is this crippling
shyness it refuses
to go it
digs its toxic
roots down to
the depths of
my stomach and
refuses to let
go and I
can't and I
won't and I
don't hold her
hand and I
wonder forever if
she could have
loved me back

an ode to all those awkward shites out there
Hannah Beth May 2015
Alive is the energy of a newborn mutt
Running in circles and covered in soot
A black blanket so messy, acquired only through
The curiosity found often inside the world’s new.

Lonely like the woman who stands in her shop
That’s withered from business the place has forgot
She peers out the window and stares for a while
She thinks of better times from when she was a child

Smitten as the boy who spends his last notes
And then sits at the harbour and watches the boats
He gives to his friend the new present he’s bought
He hopes it’s not too obvious – he loves him quite a lot

Lost as the accountant who has lost their position
They sit at their desk and think – what a sick competition
After all this time, they realise that they have been
Sabotaging their colleagues for higher numbers on a screen

Hopeful as the student who’s just come home
She rifles through the post and reaches for her phone
She rips open the letter and her eyes shine with glee
And she keys in the numbers of some students she’ll soon see

Broken as the child who is hit and abused
They cower in fear of some anger lit fuse
They hide beneath the sheets, into a ball they soon curl
As they dream and they smile in their own fiction world

These are the people I see day after day
I see them in myself and I hope they’re okay
Sonder:  n. the realization that each random passerby is living a life as vivid and complex as your own—populated with their own ambitions, friends, routines, worries and inherited craziness—an epic story that continues invisibly around you like an anthill sprawling deep underground, with elaborate passageways to thousands of other lives that you’ll never know existed, in which you might appear only once, as an extra sipping coffee in the background, as a blur of traffic passing on the highway, as a lighted window at dusk.
Hannah Beth Jan 2015
Nights like this
Nights like shining starbursts in black abyss

When sweaty palms arise not from fear
But butterflies ten thousandfold

And the taste of her lips
on yours
on a lamplit January road
Still lingers come daybreak

Those are the nights I stick around for
last night made me happy
Hannah Beth Dec 2014
I need to escape

I sit and I stare at scenes I've seen so long
Landscapes ingrained in my brain like a burn to the skin

And all I can think, all I can muster
All I can dream and cry for on this ******* lonely earth

Is change

Give me the unknown,

I am begging.

Give me fear and sweat down my spine
Give me aching bones and frozen blood
Give me heartbreak beyond anything I've ever known

Please just let me be
Free

Hand me a ticket to anywhere but here
I'm really not at all fond of the way my life back home is, frustration in a poem pretty much
Hannah Beth May 2015
Where is my suitcase?

Idolized is the inanimate idea
That surely to succeed
a Plan is what you need
we all know –
a Plan is a Degree.

Only half the space is occupied - surely I own more clothes than this.

Is it too much to ask –
Freedom?
Apparently so
For to avoid ***** looks and shaking heads
My mouth must spout some *******
Concerning myself
The strangest stranger of all
And the make belief notion that I know her.

www.google.com
-
Aer lingus
-
One way

No, I don’t know what I want to be when I grow up.
Yes, I want to do something with my life.
No, I haven’t picked a course yet.
No, I don’t have anything in mind right now.
Yeah. No, no. Not yet. No.

”Your boarding pass please.”

Whatever happened to living?

”Please ensure your seatbelt is in place for takeoff.”

It’s a bit sad, really.

”So, where are you from?”
“Does it matter?”
Hannah Beth Jun 2015
Golden words make
For a golden painted life

A little tarnished,
Yes.

But surely in reach,
And surely in sight.
Positivity is the key to success yo
Hannah Beth Sep 2014
You gave me the morning sunshine that filters
Through dew-drop leaved ceilings above
And all of the shadows and pictures once missed -

And You were the one
Who showed me the sky
When no one had bothered to look up at night -

You gave me the courage to plunge
Beneath salty waters
To feel the frigid water soak through my clothes -

You inspired me to embrace
The cold and the wind and the heat and the ice
Because how can you know someone if you don’t know their all?

You were the first to help me to open my eyes
And not to tell me or to force
And for that I am grateful

*You are one of a kind.
Feel free to interpret as you wish :)
Hannah Beth Aug 2014
Not often did he wish for things,
He had few petty desires.
“What’ll come will come,” he’d say, with a knowing nod.
And he was happy that way. He’d smile.

Most called him an accomplished man
He left the past behind.
His monsters were gone
Defeated at last
Not many were considered truly content these days,
But this man, they said, he’d made it.

He’d sit by the fire with a cup of tea.
He’d read stories to his children, he’d sing them to sleep.
But his heart longed for little more, just one final request
Not for himself, but for the woman that lay near.

The most magnificent woman he’d had the pleasure to know
She lit up each room with a heavenly glow.
This woman, he’d said, oh, she’s one of a kind,
Not one word was questioned when he explained why.

She was the kind to leave food on the sill for the cat
That had never belonged to her
Because she couldn’t bare the look in its eyes
When the neighbour three doors down no longer could.

She was the type who could never in her life tell a joke
Because she was out of breath with laughter
Long before the punchline arrived.

She was impossible to hold a grudge to,
A blessing to the world.
Though insecurity engulfed her
Self-esteem was unheard of
Seeing herself through devils’ eyes,
Heartbroken at her own reflection.

If the man wanted one last thing,
It would be a day in his life, for her
Plain and simple.

She’d see the way she curled her hair
Behind one ear when she laughed.
A golden noise, full of light,
He wished she knew
That it put everything right.

His dying wish was, to the love of his life;
*“Please, let her see herself, through someone else’s eyes.”
i think we can all relate to the complete and utter frustration of seeing someone so beautiful think of themselves as the complete opposite, and not be able to show them otherwise. it frickin suuuuuuuuuuucks
Hannah Beth Aug 2014
it is incomprehensible
to believe that never before
have my eyes been opened
to the galaxy that lingers
within you.

I do not know
how a smile so familiar, so kind, so warm
and so often returned
can only now
feel like home.

I can't seem to pinpoint
how such a vicious storm
made of roaring oceans and bolts of light
that paralyze
my every last bone inside
only just now begin to fill my insides
when your heart beats close to mine.

Only now are long nights beginning
to make sense
only now am I beginning to see
and not to see, but to question
Why I've spent an eternity
searching cities filled with treasure
and adventure and promise and gold
when a certain potential,
a promise of happiness
may have been lingering
by my side
all along.
haven't written many poems lately, been focusing more on ze novel, hope peeps enjoy
Hannah Beth Dec 2014
She is light on water
And that bite in the air
That wakes you

It wakes you and you're alive and you can't help but breathe

And then she grins and
She hugs you
Her hands at your neck
And the breathing has stopped

And you know then
Things can't go back

To before
It was so ******* simple

A hug was just a hug and a kiss was nothing more

Now there's fire in your veins when she walks through the door
Hannah Beth Feb 2016
i find myself wishing i could write
like i used to
write hard hitting poems that leave aches in your bones

i can't
i'm happy. i'm somewhere else, and i'm happy.
i look at old writings and i do not see me
i see a girl who was struggling to live and to breathe

six months ago, i'd take it all back
i'd gather up my poems and i'd stuff them in the trash
six months ago, i'd want to forget
but now all i see is development

i do not recognize that version of myself
but now,
i know it is for the best
i know that without our past selves,
we'd be nowhere near our present

and i quite like her
i like her strength the best
i like that even when it's not needed
i know it's served her well
guyz i made it i'm happy
Hannah Beth Sep 2014
If only life were as romantic
Come day
As it seems to be at half past three
Seen through a clouded haze
Of early morning mist
Faded street light
And a plume of cigarette smoke
Hannah Beth Aug 2014
eighteen spins around this earth
it has taken me
to realize that growing up
is not as I thought;
To long for something more.
But having the strength
to acknowledge the fact
that I
as much as anyone else I've met
I deserve something more.
Hannah Beth Apr 2015
I am walking
I walk and I see and so suddenly
I am not seeing and I am falling
Down a well and it's deep
I grasp around me
I bump my head and I scratch my arm
I fall too fast and lose sight of the stars
One by one they flicker out
Of sight and life like the speech from my mouth
As it is stifled by leaves and debris from the fall
And I stare up from this well at trees so tall
They are vivid and alive and so far away
I panic and wonder if I'll ever escape
I fell down the well and I can't find my breath
I wish for a ladder, for some help, it's a stretch
I know this, it's true

But I stayed there for you

Years ago, on your kitchen floor
When you thought life would stop if I walked out the door
Now I'm reaching for hands to pull myself out
And I pray you're still here
That you'll throw some rope down
Hannah Beth Oct 2014
I want smoke in
my lungs and gin
in my veins and
lips on my
lips and chills down
my spine to feel
nothing but
pleasure blurred
dreams sweet and
brief I don't want
a thing but craving
and need
short n quick burst of frustration at boring weekdays
Hannah Beth Aug 2014
A shining steampunk romance
Found at the end of the earth
Risen from ashes,
whilst a world falls to ruins
around them.
Yet reality is nothing to these girls.

A call to love in apocalypse
A sick smile pulls at her lips
Engulf in flames, my everything,
she says,
Because, ****, it'll be worth this last kiss.

This war rages like a great manic animal
Destruction every step of the way
On opposite sides,
they're to fight for their lives,
it's each to their self and their own.

"They're wrong."
"I know."
"They don't know what we have."

What they're missing is theirs,
a love rarely had.

We're over and we're done,
the world would say,
It's the end of the day.

"Not for us. Not even close."
She takes her hand. Turns her back on all she's lived.
"This, my dear,
This is where life begins."
A poem based on a work of fiction, which, in summary, is a girl/girl romance set in the midst of a fictional world war 3/apocalypse. Ennjjjjooooyyyy
Hannah Beth Jul 2014
There are so many ideas
Inside of me

Emotions, stories
Fictitious journeys over land and sea

I could paint them all
So beautifully

But it feels as if
I've lost all ability

To record these words
To let ideas come to be

Locked inside the mess of my mind
And I've lost the key
Pretty ironic writing about writers block

— The End —