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devine Mar 2019
i remember when we first met
there were butterflies in my stomach
you were sweet
i couldn’t taste anything else
we danced
and i couldn’t help but amazed

you were nothing like a threat
so i ****** it up and took the bullet

i was finally aware
when you made me burn that cigarette
and poured me in liquors
putting all the complexity inside me
not that it was something i hate
but you revealed your real face

i believed it’ll pass
and you were not an ***
but i discovered the abyss
that lies within your kiss

you abandoned me here
alone and broken
with thoughts of perfections
that’s just merely thoughtless imaginations

there were only cigarette packs
and my heartbreak
i used to light one
and felt the freedom filled my lungs
now i light one
and only feel the burns in my heart
what you left me with.
devine Jun 2019
the end of the day comes
eventually
now i can see the signs
undoubtedly

the only time i can be naked
slightly aided
but will never be recovered
and never be discovered

after a long fight
entirely wrong life
now i'm staying the night
under the faded light

what if she leaves
what if we fall apart
what if i make things worse
what if the truth doesn't exist
what if i'll end up ruin everything
what if there's no place for me in the world

pouring my body with regret
pain that i could never forget
burning a cigarette
wishing i could reset

every night
this is my only right
when i heal
and when i ****
the only time.
devine Jul 2018
i am me
you are you
let me be
you have no clue

stop talking like you understand
i'm tired of swimming toward your dreams
i can hear my heart stop beating
drowning in my own feelings
a shattered mind lost in sand
catastrophe appears on my screens

but i'm no God
no one in particular
the most ordinary thing
full of aspirations
imaginations
and colors

i'm not going back to the corner
i'm gonna run farther
i'm gonna make it better

the fire ignites
the ocean send its waves
raw emotion spilled into motion
it's not broken it's golden

why should i listen to others
when i own the colors
it's not only a caption
it's satisfaction

all the beautiful colors
took a long time to show
i do not fear it
i do not hate it

i'm proud
i'm shining colors
you can never see
devine Oct 2019
i went out
explored the city
met some friends
the sky was pretty

my mouth shut
tried to keep myself busy
but the road ends
now i’m just all filthy

such a waste of time
with me
why did they lie
and agree

everybody is speaking to me
and shutting me out
at the same time

everybody is a reality
and a place to hangout
at the same line

it’s all heavy
too hard to carry

i tried
i really tried
to be everything you want
to be everything i taunt
to believe in my broken heart

but the door’s blocked
and my eyes closed
at the end, it doesn't matter.
devine Oct 2018
there are days
when everything's new
don't know who's who
but it's not all blue

there are days
when the sand burns
and i yearn
for everything occurred

there are days
when nothing can be seen
sometimes it's thirteen
but to me it's not that mean

there are days
when i finally see the worst in my best
when i never want to admit that i regret
when i never expected such test

but there are also days
when it couldn't be better
when coffee doesn't feel bitter
when the pressure only causes one error

that's when she is
when the sky isn't bright
but her smile is
when the color isn't white
but she is

with her
i always find myself in fall
both weatherly
and literally
devine Apr 2019
tears and laughter
he throws everything at her
dreams at the face of disaster
there’s no happily ever after

an ungrateful witch
a compliment she sends herself
a foolish *****
a thing he says to himself

you can’t hear her voice
she’s too deep in the void
it’s never her choice
it’s always up to his joys

she falls
she leaves cuts
people think she’s nuts
well she wants to be happy once

he smiles
he laughes
he travels million miles
he doesn’t have to face trials

she says “i’m done”
“i’ll be gone”
“i’ll leave in dawn”

he runs
he left her.
devine Aug 2018
a whole year
a whole wild world

hundreds of laughter
gorgeous amber
restrain my anger
i thought it was for the better
but my heart is shattered

unbearable pain
from a beautiful sin
getting wider everyday
getting sadder everyday

i am aware of limits
i face it every minute
but we're beyond that
is it that bad

been out all seasons
escaping prisons
fighting demons
i shout it out loud
hold you around
feeling insanely proud
you can tell by the clashing sound
but why am i wrong to believe in
everything we are
everything i got

my strength subsides eventually
painfully

because i'm out here fighting
but you're in there hiding
devine Sep 2018
children are running
birds are humming
chasing a dream
the light that beams

the fruits are green
everyone's doing their routine
i wish i was seventeen
so i don't need to look at the screen

i want to jump the fence
and step on Mars
but i'm in the edge of existence
away from the stars
i want to sing and dance
fly in racing cars
but i can't even make steps
let alone running rounds

so don't curse tomorrow
for bringing you sorrow
the chance of tomorrow
are there to help you grow

you will know
so don't ever say no
hope for tomorrow
before it's time for you to go
devine May 2019
rain
damping everything
pain
i can hardly feel a thing

the pressure
push me to be sure
nothing in me is pure
and you don't have any cure

i don't want to live anymore
i don't want to fail like before
i don't want to be called *****
and thrown to the floor

i did the test
i've tried my best
more than i could expressed

i just want to sleep
dive into the deep
forgetting all the things i can't keep
all i have to do is leap

i just want to die
i don't want to lie
so let me cry
let me fly
it's time.
devine Oct 2018
in her life
there are worlds
full of lies and illusions

in her life
there are moments
where she just wants to press the pause button

when the eyes she used to stare are no longer blue
when the stories she heard are no longer true
she wishes she could undo
everything he put her through

took her long before she could finally breathe
before she could finally eat

then
again
she's ruined

in just a blink
she's trapped
in the middle of time

she thought she left it behind
but it was just in her mind
no matter how much she declined
there she is
intertwined

she thought her life is no longer his
she might need to rethink
she thought she can finally spread her wings

but there she is
trapped in the middle of everything
devine Jan 2020
there’s a girl and her sister
on the long way home
they were running from the dog in the manger
but the sun’s down so it’s time to stop the roam

dad chugs beer
mom’s on vilazodone
it takes time to knock
afraid they will get locked

the two thought this is the right moment
so they come in but their parents are strangling each other’s throat
the two hide in the attic
panic but have no choice but to play with the plastics

they lay exhausted
tired of crying and laughing for hours
first thing in mind is to be cautious
afraid of being tortured

but there’s no sound
so she said “let’s go down”

there’s no one
no dad
no mom

but there’s blood
and remarks
she falls to the ground
searching for a hand in the dark

there’s no one
no sound
no crowd

but there’s a gun
and her broken heart
it never goes away, no matter how hard she tries.
devine Jun 2019
you came to my life
with someone in your mind
but i could see pain in your eyes
so i told you to never leave yourself behind

i wanted to be your friend
but i wished the night would never end
i swear i wanted to be your friend
but i thought about holding your heart instead
i don’t want to just be your friend
and i’m so scared

oh how i wish it wasn’t february
when your heart is still wary
how i wish i could go back to september
so i don’t have to surrender

it would be better if i’d just get my heart broken
if i were the only one whose soul is taken
but it’s not sole
you said i make you whole

so don’t say sorry
it’s not our fault
and don’t worry
i can be anything you want
i will always be here for you.
devine Dec 2018
you were by my side
but i couldn't see you there
all i can see is your pride
and myself driven to despair

i hate to admit that it was agonizing
but i knew i'll love you til death
even if i heard the thunder blazing
i've fallen to the sound of your breath

there was so much i want to see
so much skies that've turned grey
there was so much doubt i want to free
but you didn't even bother to stay

i've seen your faces
i've heard your lies
i've felt your punches
i've smelt your fumes
i've loved your scars
i've been on your worsts

i've done everything for you
you told me it wasn't enough
you want more
and more
even more

then i gave you more
and more
even more
everything left in me

i wish i could see you once again
you that didn't have more
but me
it's never enough.
devine Dec 2018
powerful silence
wake her up everytime
accepting distance
begging for goodbye

burn photographs on the wall
it doesn't matter to you at all
so she drown herself in alcohol
fading memories she could recall

she lost in her palace
her head is too light
the room is spinning
but she didn't try to hold tight

just like that
she fell back
and called it a night
that was it
she'll never be found
she'll never see light

everyone wears black
reflecting the cloud
roaring grief
filled with regret

but you laugh
thunderously
just minutes
before it turned
to a scream

you felt the horror
tingling your neck
you were scared
of the truth
that destroys

you said it wasn't your fault
you said you didn't break her
you said the bruises were already there

yes
it's you
it is because of you
but she never thought that it's true
devine Aug 2020
she’s a friend
i met her at a coffee shop
where i planned to stop
and where my heart dropped

she’s a friend
she has a beautiful smile
lovely style and a great mind
her cheeks tastes like chamomile
she’s truly worthwile

she’s a friend
we started seeing each other more often
with her my aggressive mind softens
and my pain are forgotten
it always feels like autumn
i know i have fallen

she’s a friend
i can feel her warmth in my clothes
the one she wore while i was in control
i want to feel her close
i want to be wherever she goes
she has stolen my soul
it’s not something we chose

she’s a friend
you’ll love her

i don’t call her a friend

but she must remain one
or else you’ll hate her
she can't be more than a friend in front of you.
devine Aug 2018
the flowers were blooming
so were you
your eyes were glowing
so were mine

waving deserts
drank water from the river
danced through the grass
you led me closer
with just a single glance

the sweetest taste
strongest desire
i've never dreamed of
it whispered in chemical symbols
something i've never heard of

there was a lot to learn
but time wasn't at our side

i saw right through the eyes
fearful when wish to fight
despite it all
we continue on
fools in a glimpse of paradise
you saw right through the eyes
let go when wish to hold on

it was okay
while the petals covered
it was insane
to control the uncontrolled

but the flowers were still blooming
the scent of lights and waters
blue to green
i found myself longing for you
for summer
before it wilted away forever

before you
slipped away forever
Call Me By Your Name
devine Aug 2019
sweetness lasts for seconds
before disappearing into shadows
but what the hell last forever
it'd be gone with a laughter

she likes honey
a hand above her eyes when it's sunny
but everyone only wants her money
and her body

so she closed the curtain
drawing cartoons
she was so certain
of all her tattoos

it became a habit
a mask and a casque
so no one could see
her tears for the chocolate
that melted in her pocket
she couldn't help but *****
every time she heard a promise

but the past stops at the moment
she's stealing from the candy jar
she's eating the donut
she's touching her own scar

ypu said it was only the cigarettes
but she mouthed your lips
she listens to apocalypse
looking for your silhouette

you listen to her heartbeat
you said you're a part of her
you said you want her til death

she lost her breath
and whispered
"you're so sweet"
devine Feb 2019
what is it
just another sound
i begin to knit
for another round

come to think about it
it never quit
i’m feeling it
from the bottom of a pit

one sight in years
unbearable tears
liberty sounds lovely
but it is heavenly

they say this is worth
anything else is dirt
i take it for granted
letting myself pricked

does it get better
it does taste bitter
does it ever end
i can only pretend

cause this is the sewer
where people suffer
idling the reality
and nurtures it within

frankly
i’m aching for light
but alas
the thread lasts

and there’s nothing i can do about it
devine Nov 2018
dusty desk
summer break
i could feel my heart ache

saturday
lost in haze
i could see we part ways

and we did

ever since then
everybody's shouting in my ears
i was about to explode
but everybody's telling truths
everybody but us

so i sat there
across the green river
painted our memories together
telling myself over and over
good things will come nearer
but one thing is clearer
we were better

ever since then
we were there in my dreams
i was about to refuse
but we told each other everything
everything but truths

i was smiling
you were laughing
we were better
devine Aug 2019
ease in my ears
fears in my head
i’m with my beers
but i feel you instead

i never wanted to
we didn’t intend to
for every **** we went through
hell yeah we’re true

i’m blessed and glad
we are nowhere near bad
but i can’t stop thinking about the unjust
something we always discuss

we’d be in different galaxies
away from each other
we could only meet through galleries
where we both suffer

it’s not up to us
when people are filled with disgust
no matter how much we trust
they will leave us in the dust

i can’t erase me without erasing you
so how can we be free without turning blue
i just want you
why to them we can’t love too

i just love you
none can undo
it's unfair.

— The End —