(Train Leaving)*
After 23 years, I finally stepped up to the mic...
Exposed my hidden messages of a pad that holds my life...
Speaking all about my problems,
and how I tend to solve em...
a past that shows a little boy who resents the reflection of his father.
Some would call me crazy, others maybe weird..but I can't listen to your judgement since honesty is what makes things clear...I separate myself...seems alone time helps me most...a solo mind with his thoughts
Helps him write his best quotes...
An odd type of man who lives for the excitement of gods plan,
Was once a young kid, who felt the cold life in his hands...
Speaking wit permission
Causes society not to listen..
But if I create a work of art..
Will society potentially be a witness?
will they believe everything they hear on a deceiving television? (Idk)
I just Give love to the hated...
Humble down the overrated...
Bring back spirit into the potential...
Send a prayer to the outdated...*
Allow the thought of a good heart
To bring happiness and true belief
Give a helping hand to the fallen..
Don't treat others as if they are beneath..
A black pen can send a message and open up so many possibilities..
Is society truly crazy? Or do we need to learn how to embrace the little things?
Unleash a humans true ability to become "non ignorant" and turn hostility into tranquility.
I still stay prayed up, and believe in the good of humanity
I see change in faces, a flower blooming in a *** full of insanity,
And if I couldn't move, I ask...would you stop and carry me? Or would you let me die and leave me here alone?
This here is my first train of thought...and my last ride home.

- Dougie simps #lostlove
#SecretMessage

Imma write her a lullaby
Like twinkle twinkle you ain't a star
Hit me to chill isn't that situation bizarre
Cause you broke it off
And you still struggle
How many dudes you call since me just to come over and "snuggle"
Bugga boo, I'm so far into
So far gone
The gambling man would bet that she ain't got a clue
Stuck to you like glue
I rather feel the pain than be attached
Rip it off slow just to be gone and detached
Imma make you realize what 3 years cost
A paycheck, a man...oh yeah and a boss
Undateable..you think that's a natural reaction?
Stop looking for others to blame for ya behavioral actions
Like "sorry ms Jackson" you ain't an outcast
A king need a queen not a piece of unloyal ***.
(nice)

I mean...I... I apologized
I attempted to do what makes me most uncomfortable
I Admit. Admit that I needed to commit to something that could of raised happiness, raised my vision. I guess I saw something...it was just an abstract view...I walked into a museum only to misinterpret you.
The sculpture I thought was broken. I thought it was missing pieces...these were my distorted and ignorant views
When the truth is...I'm the broken one...the critic of his own self review
I didn't know...it was sucha short, intense time and quick moment, I guess when they say handle with care...the few chances of opportunity to display your control, are the ones you need to learn to grab on to and hold it. I Regret. What's that? I never look back. I just wish I could of accepted what I knew was important...I wish I could of handled the truth and the facts. Cause I've become someone else. You've brought this newfound inspiration. not as someone you yearn for...this is a person who's supposed to be part of your journey, the friendship of wisdom and honesty in your future creation. I apologize. I'm aware it hasn't been that long. I'm a man of chipped pieces. I'm a sculpture with many flaws. I think I miss the person I felt most comfortable with...not due to feelings, just the fact they cared at all.

1989 a star born was born,
My soul was torn in the exact moment that the umbilical cord was gone.
Some times in my heart I wish I stayed dead cause I'm still a monster that's rage fed and full of hatred
But I remain in constant happiness cause it part of a cheaper expense
To fake your real bliss for a form of false happiness.
24/7 impress
Only to please people and follow with regret
We all wanna be loved but end up with so much more..or less
Are we all just a mess? Truth is,
Outside I'm a quite storm
but inside I'm a fistful of violence.
I walk amongst the outspoken and remain poetically quite
Avoid all the ignorant riots
And listen to my internal beat
Your mind can help you control your body but your heart can control your feet
So always follow your heart and stay honest with your soul,
If they don't like you now...they won't like you when you master and perfect your mold. (You make yourself)

I've thought way to much.
About her and I...if we'd meet again or even fall in love
About the idea of a new space I call my own
Without the support of a mothers hand
The ability to individually grow
Something has changed...
Seems liquor no longer relieves my stress
I no longer worry about the eyes
As only god can view me as my best
Enough with the bluff, tough type of words that are probably fake and temporarily soothing
How can one move forward if they accept the idea of already losing?

Hear me...respect me but not through fear, please!
I want my words to sink into the minds
corrupt them with pure ease
I found out who I am.
I found out where I want to go
I found out things aren't what you truly imagine
You greatest highs were your worst lows.

Ahead of the curve, right?
Is this why my mind is slightly bent?
Of having teachers throwing books at my head without leaving the slightest of a dent
Ambition is priceless
You can't buy a born trait
You can't put strength in a manipulative coward
You can't train a king to become great
You can have belief
Belief in the idea of change
Believe in me, and watch as I slowly start to do the same.

Women lead to happiness,
While relationships lead to disaster,
Sleeping beauty will awake from his kiss,
But together it seems improbable for a "Happy Ever After"
People await for the sweetness of life only to construe it of its actual meaning
Seems society "preys" for the downfall of "hope", con - ARTIST post up on the corner
Drawing vivid, false, contrast, pictures too demolish another's wishful dreaming,
While I stare at this world and see the potential of people's conscious, through fear and insecure honest truths
I really see nothing...nothing at all, we still avoid the reality of what is real, and what is actually in front of us and painfully true
Dougie Simps

This is hard for me to admit because I'm strong willed and stubborn
But I wish you never left me for your original lover
Thought that we had somethin'...
Really, maybe it was nothin'
Maybe you showed me all your cards but I still thought you was bluffin'
By no means can you push me and make me fall any harder
Why must the toughest lessons come from misery, heartbreak and trauma?
You broke through my armor,
Taught me how to speak drama,
Things was heating up so much our hearts molded together like angry lava.
Cause passion means pain and love means stress
Nothing worst than giving someone your all only to receive back less.
I gave it all to you, you hit the nail on the chest
You really must of meant it when you whispered "I want to forever put your heart at rest"

Maybe I'm being aggressive like you always said
"I hate you" "get away" & "Please drop dead"
Must of not recognized that words hurt just like fist
Maybe I should of R estrained myself from calling you a "selfish *****"
But you pushed me to this
Don't lie, you know it
Must of forgotten. It's not a good idea to ******* a poet.
Now you're just words, ink that's bleed from my pen
Your evil to my nightmares, my suffocation to vent
My soul is clouded and bent
I have nothin left
They say you prosper when your body starts to slowly regress
And I have no regrets
They say "you live and you learn"
Got that tatted permantially on all the scars from your lashings and burns.

(You cut me deep)

You morally killed me, mentally drilled me!
You was looking for unauthentic, never the real me.
Couldn't make you see
Because emotions make us blind
I hope when you close your eyes, the memories haunt your mind.
As you walk all alone knowin' all the good you left behind.
All those long, draining times
Trust me, I'm doing just fine.
**Remember, it's the people you never needed that are most important, to finalize your design.

If I could, write down
One perfect word...

I would write down your name
Script or...in cursive
The meaning would all be the same

We just met, but I feel like
you and I have met before

Our chemistry, immediate bond
Keeps me waiting for a little more

I see your heart and honest smile
Are you an angel in disguise?

Your the best I never had
Your the greatest unopened surprise

I sit back, wonder...
What it be like to hold your hand

I sleep and dream about
the idea of being your man

Your everything I hope for
And everything I see

To this girl I just met
I believe in you
I want you too believe in me.

Two strangers, One moment
I wish this night would never end

Maybe we can fall in love?
Give me your heart
Let your love become my plan.

the bass hits, the drum rolls
Being a victim of a spilt decision of a racial war at 10 years old
Was never told, a way to be, but my fathers legacy, made me look at one side painfully cold
Wide awake, as I lay my head
On the belief my kind is dead
The proper stereotype of a white kid
But the preference to black kids outfit
Putin on a show, to simply fit in
Not knowin were the **** I should of truly been
The constant pain of feelin like ****
A young man who is confusingly mixed...
...
I see a star who shines bright, in a darken night,
Did you know, not all stars shine white?
They're shades of black, just remember that...why couldn't I see this logic way back?
Another poser, who's addicted to rap..
"Ya not black" like what kind of stupid **** is that?
You speak a way, but was always consider white
Do you see the mixed feeling? ******* mixed signs!?
Why can't ya accept me for just me?
Why can't ya just learn to love me?
Why who I am means I have act a certain way!?
that kinda **** makes me doubt people everyday!
My verses struggle with a troubled hook!
Can you see me now? Have you even looked?
A black father, who showed me fear
A white mother, who's voice I hear!
Another song, sharing my lies!
Another fight, with my dark side!
When will ya get it and just put this **** to rest? You judge so much, make it hard to be my best
Your words are a bullet! Penetratin my chest, I done clean up my act but you keep making another mess
I'm tired of trying to please you, tired of trying to defeat you
Ya minds are so glassy, it obvious to see through. *******, be gone! Stop and please carry on! Fly away! Take a trip don't tell me when ya landin
You all pushed me so much...........yet I'm still standin...standin...standin....but I will be gone, soon.

Sometimes he sits back and wonders if he's a born star? his intelligence mixed with creativity may take him very far...as He makes poems about his past, write songs about his scars…take a step into his footnotes and sit behind his painful bars.
Now He's afraid to speak to a woman who's simply a mirage
Who's beauty He created through his artistic collage,
Vogue was her blue eyes, Victoria Secret her hips and thighs, cover girl was her lips and atlas was was her mind..
Being a star, the perfect woman isn't to hard to find...but He wants no dime...just a beautiful woman He can call mine
With the uniqueness of the earth and the vocals of the sky!

"But I lie...because I'm no star and this is no woman of mine"

The phase of figmentation is the value of ones Imagination to create false pleasure in order to fulfill ones sensations of a woman who isn't real but helps formulate ones motivation
Of false hope and fictional love to make him less abrasive

He still could be a star even with these thoughts
Cause he stands for originality, and refuses to be bought
He thinks outside the box while he writes in his pad with a pen...
Because he writes down his first thoughts and erasing he doesn't commend.
Would show it all off but his friends just wouldn't understand
That he wants to be a star and wants them as his biggest fans

He wants to spread hope, he wants change a life, he wants the exposure so he could guide the lost through a guided light, he wants to open doors for the ones scared of the night, he wants the men to be gentlemen, all the women to be treated right.

Was he born to be a star? Very few people know,
But his values plus his motives seem to all think so
We watch as he grows..
He continues to find his stride
He believes he can be a star, he also believes everybody has a star...deep down inside.
(Snaps)

-Dougie Simps

I mean we started with love
that followed up with hatred
I just wanted to talk
you said "I can't take it"
you pretend we were okay
I just couldn't fake it
I thought this was heavenly sent
you thought it was faithless
now I'm crying out loud
trying to write this sober
what's a harder pill to swallow?
that fact that you're gone?
or knowing it's truly over?
I had to bend over
and pick up what you left
haven't eaten in days
haven't spoken bout this stress
my heart beats slower
you can feel the pain in my chest
I would of given more
if I knew it meant seeing you less.
calling me crazy?
you use to call me baby
I can't stop thinking bout you
wonder how you've been lately...
and I know what your room look like too,
wonder if another man lays down and now replaced me...
what did I do?
what the f$%k is going on in my head?
we broke like skeletons, left two hearts for dead
I would love to speak to you, you just walk away instead
I thought you missed me when I saw a missed call...
but you **** dialed and it was all mislead.

You told me to speak,
so I picked up the pen
I didn't avoid you
the paper just always knew what I meant.
but I can't help but wonder
how long was it over?
Think about it over a glass of disaster
I don't know the last time I was sober...
last time I smiled
last time I could see straight
met a girl after you,
she was perfect but just couldn't relate
what do I do now?
suddenly I'm going out late
figured *** would heal the wound
but I just see your face
I just can't move on
your chains wont let me escape.
I tried to walk away
but our pictures always come back up in my phone
do I miss our bond? or do I hate the fact ill never find another you
and end up being alone.
maybe this is a dream? ****t, I'm just being delusional
my mind is going insane, my thoughts are institutional
but that's what love does...it takes your sanity for all it was...
why does nothing last forever?
why does that logic only attack love!

**** (on my knees)

picking up the pieces,
shattered thoughts and heart fragments
*trying to put this puzzle back together, but it's hopeless
sometimes you have to come to grips with it...
you can't always fix...(crying)
what's eternally broken.

(Piano)

I know this should be easy
How come it’s been hard to let go?
So much stronger...
Why is my mind weak though?
Time has passed by
I won’t dare cry
My chest has been burning ever since you left

My heart’s replaced with the fire
My minds open but stuck in desire
Waited so long... hoping things would change
Was this always hopeless? Was my hope insane?
They say good love could take you to unforgettable limits
Please hear me and accept my forgiveness
Never saw you, as you walked by
Things were broken, It took time to realize

You don’t know, no you don’t know the nights I lay here
I smile for everyone - I don’t want them to see my sadness - dear
It hurts to admit this
But I have to ask...
Why didn’t you want to stay?
Actually, please don’t answer that...
No more questions.
no more saying your name
I can’t take anymore of your pain
Days have fallen
I have risen
Fully functional - but feels somethings missing
Replaceable - so easy to start over...
We both know that’s not true
But needed the closure.
You reached a limit
I wasn’t enough!
It’s like a fire - replaced all of our love.

What is real love?
Is it Cupid?
Is it the madness - two minds that are so foolish?
This time is different
No resentment
Just freedom - let go of repentance.
Not a day goes by that I wonder
What would’ve happened if we made it this summer...
Never fun losing a best friend
Even worst if their your lover
I won’t say another word
Time is of the essence
But I can no longer lie...I don’t understand why I still feel your presence

I have the memories - hope you still do too
Hope you’re smiling and finding all of you
As we move on - finding new life and devotion
I have to say this - without using too much emotion
Thank you for everything
Even for the love
I hope I helped you - hope I was enough
Hope we never forget this
No matter if it was right or wrong
These words are burning...
The ashes are all that are left of this song.

I confess, I'm a victim of my own contradictions
I tell people to open they ears, when I barely ever listen
I rarely speak polite than go and say ask permission
And I'm always indecisive then go and say "make a decision"
I got demons, ones that prey on ya and attempt to cause havoc
Since I could touch the ground, I've been a walking born savage
My overpowering ways make BELIEVE anything I want I should have it.
The hardest part for me is to allow my heart to be free
When I believed I was leader, but leaders never flee
I know ya got questions about this simple message,
I should do better for my brother, stop making him so defensive
Show my two sisters a better man, one who's brave and comprehensive
And shows interest in your meaning so when you speak he is attentive
I apologize to my mama, when I bring you all the drama
And look at you as weak when you really gave me the armor
And showed me all the strength
And how impossible is really blank
And how happiness is more fulfilling than all the money in the bank
Let me talk you too, the person who looks at me as see through.
I'm not a prodigy, I'm a human and sometimes I just want you to ask me "How are thinks dude?" Listen to me and see me for more than just your business mistake...I broke the first car ride but overtime I grew strong. Pain can make you rise from the drops and allow you to handle the pressure and anything else it may take.

Then they ask if you're crazy?
hell yeah, Well, maybe..
Took a few shots to the chest but passion came in and resuscitated me.
I got this vibe, guess we all need a feeling, Maybe it was my angel's touch that finally got me healing...Maybe I'm built for disaster? Maybe I speak upon an forgiven matter? I keep trying to reachout, could it be this short ladder? Picture the moment you thought you found what it is you've been looking for...but how can you live a fulfilled life if you're morally poor?

My dear friends, was really good?
I know I come off misunderstood
I got some things on my chest I need to say if I could
Some of ya come off different, some others a lil distant, at times I don't wanna say stuff to you cause I'm afraid and slightly resistant
I have all the love for you and upmost respect, I just need ya to know the past the past, I have no regrets
I've slightly felt like an outsider and sometimes I will regress
And when I give you my all, it never feels like my best
I haven't been the greatest friend
So lets not play pretend, I apologize for that and hope that we can make amends. Imma stick with you homies from now till the end
This next is to my father, Who taught everything but not...sometimes I see you in my reflection, and wish the nightmares would just stop
One minute ill be cool, triggered, instantly I turn hot
This why I haven't had a relationship since the love of my life, called it quits and put it to a stop...
Too a way I've always been with women, family and friends
22 suicide letters to my angel I have sent
Never thought I applied to rules that's why my mind is all bent
This ignorant thinking, got me shrinking, so imma use confession to finally vent
I say "imma be a star" but doubt it 99 percent...feel I work so hard but barely put in what I get.
Sometimes I sleep on a dream wake up and say it's near, when the truth is I'm a little boy who still hides behind his fears.
I've heard I have so much drive but can barely turn, barely steer.
Crazy how your visual thinking isn't what it appears.

Use to worry about the views and worry about the follows
Now I'm tryna to share dark stories that could make the devil gulp and swallow
Cause the factor of my life is I never played nice
I choose to beat you all down with my temper and spite
I barely know what I do wrong and never see my rights
I love sitting in the dark, my soul is kinda afraid of the light
I'm sorry for my ways, I'm sorry for the older days, I'm sorry that I've changed, I'm sorry for my inconsistent phase
I'm sorry that I've been lost, I'm sorry I labeled all of you as a cost
I'm sorry my heart is an icebox and I pump blood made of frost.
I'm trying to practice what I preach, and learn what I teach.
In sorry to my grandfather I'll make it up to you when we meet.
So I guess it's true, that your experiences are your greatest lessons..I just had to let ya know...
These here are my final words and greatest confessions.

-Dougie simps

Probability hit me so my chances have shorten as I play life's game
It's all about taken each and every hit! Stop searching for a innocent person to blame
As I sit back and stare at the reflection of my potential.
I realized all life's situations are half pain half mental
Dre beats with the silent instrumentals
To ensure the heavy facts as I script the poetic verse
Maybe god gives sin? Maybe he enhances a potent curse.
Maybe I need to stop for a second and learn to appreciate...
It's easy to rush to the front, it's hard to understand how to patiently wait
As I follow my guardians faith
And block out envy and greed
Lord, I'm trying to get the difference of a want, to a need!
Can you finally hear my pleas?
Why must I scream for you to hear me!?
Why must I need to drink a couple shots, hop in the whip for you to help steer me!
Taking every bit of risk
While swallowing my pride and lowering my fist
I've been the star in every game
Stopped, and learned how to humbly miss.
I've taken poison out of a snake's kiss
Taken hatred out of a heart full of anger and turned it into bliss!
I've giving EVERY ******* THING! Whats the point of all this?
How you perfect? You put drugs on the land with the bites of a serpent...you made blacks forced servants, placed diseases that have no purpose...you've killed over a million and never had to give a reason! You rarely give help to the sick, crying! Internally bleeding!
You continue to stuff the obese, the skinny aren't feeding.
You tell us to pray for goodness! Ain't that ish so misleading.
I don't wanna say you misleading cause you our lord and savior
I'm just sayin look at yourself before you judge my behavior!*
(God)
You're issue Bland is you never been honest with yourself
You pray for the benefits of wealth and forget to be thankful for your health
I've brought you to this gate cause your mind has lied about your "learned" and understanding lessons
My son, I'm making you struggle for you to one day understand every bit of your life, make good on your bad lessons
I've given you gifts that you can unwrap and released you out of the devils grasps, I remember giving you more chances when you dropped on your knees, thinking it was your last.
Why is it I you bash?
Ironic how you preach "in life stop looking for others to blame"
This the same man who looks at his father for the reason he slashes his God given name
You and him arent the same.
You need to release every bit of this aggression
You need to come back to my house, Close your eyes and count your blessings.
I lead by example, I teach forgiveness
Your entry now, Bland, Cannot be guaranteed, not when live with envy, hatred, greed.
Stop cutting ya morality only for pity to gush out and bleed
Stop looking for the weak to prey on, and feed.
Next time we meet I want you to be a better man
Realize I'm not your punisher
I'm your guidance...I'm your support system...your biggest fan
Know every test I send you is all apart of your plan. So when I see you back...you'll be a better man. Follow what you believe, guide your heart with an honest hand.

I can love ya girl
Nothing will change,
No one can stop us
I'm the one you can always trust
Imma love this girl
She completes me.
I'm the drug thru her veins
Baby, fight through the pain
Imma fulfill her desire
Enhance her passionate dreams
Her kiss makes me weak
Her body is my need
He may be right now
But I'm all you need
I hate liking a crush..
Cause they always end up...
Being make believe.*
-Dougie simps

Could you imagine wishing on a star?
Or hoping on a comet.
The feeling of being love sick
Your emotions make you *****
The speed of overthinking
Why won't your mind stop racing
Thinkin about her, restless love
Why won't you heart stop pacing?
The way I feel it's such a sudden rush
The heart beats faster, it's almost like a crush
One that could **** you
By the weight of your feelings
By the scars of your past
Hoping she can be ya painful healing
The burn of the passion
Questions without asking
The feeling of the bass
The music of love that's everlasting
I'm no gem
Nor am I a diamond in disguise
I'm every thing you every wanted
I'm the dream, I'm your next guy.

Dear father*
Let me start my hatred for you must end now and begone
If it wasn't for your horrible ways this man today I would've never become
Nothing's wrong
I developed the ability to convert anger into beautiful songs
I'll never forgive you for what you've done
I'm just glad that you're gone
It's been so long
Since the last time ya seen ya boy
I'm a whole lot more outgoing now
Gave up on being koi
Eye contact with people I tend to still avoid but
I inspire the world now
Less hate and more joy
And I'm a strong man too
No longer a scared lil boy!

Father why!? Why the ******* create this hurt inside?
Why the ******* teach me how to run but never how to ride?
Why you make me cry?!
Why!!?
Do you understand the pain and anger you ******* put me through?
Do you know how it feels to look in the mirror and hate the other half of you!?
Butter knife thoughts is something nobody ever knew
Turned me into a insecure weak boy that everybody can see through!
The misery of a young confused beatdown child
Who covered his face with a mask and put up a fake smile
Who's soul is tame less and heart so wild
who ignores his good side so he blocks it with denial
Through my life I ****** up and poured out a lot of tears
Used liquor to heal my pain and replaced my blood with light beers.
Working hard to better myself but
becoming you is still my biggest fear!

I told my mother the past is gone and the good life is now in our sights
Told her imma fly us there so mama please hold on tight
Because you can be stuck in the dark for so long and feel you'll never see the light
I believe we can survive anything
You just need to believe in you and always prepare to fight!
Allow my story to strengthen you when you feel you have no might
We gotta climb the highest mountains when we say we afraid of heights!

So dear father I'm not you, you was just a part of my creation
At times I swear you aren't real just a figment of my imagination
No more frustration!
Nor Pretending, Anyone can survive hard times that's just the message that I am sending
The end is never close it always just the beginning, We're all winning!
So I know my journey has just begun!
Mom and I  are doing fine now and we're living well.
Oh yeah....P.s your only son

-Dougie simps

It's 2 am still not home
I know she hates sleepin alone
callin my phone
I don't reply
Brainstorming up, another lie
So much to hide
Never found
My minds blank, heart pounds
I hear the sounds
Of war
Love battlefield with who I love as I adore
Knees hit the floor
Drugs just hit
Do I get up?
Or do I quit?
These four walls moving in quick
Stomachs sick
Why can't I Handle this!?
An addicts mind
Creates u to be blind
Pills workin fast
Running out of time
(footsteps down the stairs)
Here she comes
To only see
The man she loved
Or....what use to be
Swore I thought she was a sleep
Dying slow
My heart deceits
Faking the truth
To console me
She touches me
Hugs me
Whispers that
She loves me
I tell her wait
Hesitate
Feel the rush of novacane
Bodies numb, Pulse cold
Lost our bond
Where did It go?!
Heart beatin faster
Close to my disaster
This fairy tale
has no Happily ever after
Eyes slowly shut
Before I leave
Her cryin face, Is what I see.
My final words to her were
Don't touch me.
In heaven I cry
Wish I could change time
Can't believe that I actually
*died by a lie.

mhm it's 6 am...
I drank too much
opened the door...
who could it be?
I see two...it's my lady
"how could you? can you see?"
"what's wrong with you!?"
Mh, Maybe it's me? or
maybe it's her?
drunk on the floor as I try to reoccur
all of her words...
all of her...
baby I wuv...you..****, my words are slurred
she says "I'm done!"
I said "Just wait!!"
this instability is what you create!
you hurt me and desert me!
why don't we touch!?
I come home...all you say is "Lunch!"
I know I'm wrong...I drink too much.
I'm sorry, if I forgot to say...
"Baby, you look gorgeous today."
Time has changed all my usual ways
I don't think...you'll like what I'm about to say.

I go out and like to sit down
grab a beer and talk to a crowd
of different women, with different missions
some are divorced, the others are still making decisions
I enjoy to hear their stories, see if I can relate
I then ask myself..."How can love turn so quickly into hate?"
I know you feel the same, don't look at me in shame!
I saw you go out the other night with your "girls"
but you were really with whatever his name!
"no I wasn't"
Now wait, I'm not done!
you know that holding on is just no fun.
we've grown apart over the years, baby... let's just go and move on...
do right by ourselves and even more by our son.
Love isn't a game...and if it was we both forgot how to play..
I'll always have a place for you in my heart, no matter what. That's all I'm trying to say.

I..."NO! It's my turn to speak! First off that was my Co-worker! and his name was steve, you met him and his wife! and don't you dare say another thing!
You've been cheating for years and hurting EVERYTHING!
In college you were the best thing that heaven could bring! now all you do is leave me hanging by a string. I wait with the kids as you go and get lit...you kiss the shot glass more than you kiss me. You tell all your jokes to these girls you've never met...After the baby, I don't know the last time we had ***! You come home and just stare, pretend like you're there... the kids barely know who you are and I don't think you could care. You hurt and you rip! It's been seven years...you walk right on past me as I shed all these tears. I pray everyday that you will one day look my way... that you'll stop hurting me so much and change your dark ways. I must be a fool...to think I'd change you by force...well I'm done I'M DONE....***, I WANT...A...divorce (she starts to cry) hmm babe I need to let you go, I need to take our kids and grow...hmm I just need you to know that I always knew...Now please let me be mhmm just promise, PROMISE, PROMISEEE....that you'll let me be free."

I...****. I came home baby, this just got so crazy. I remember all those days calling you my lady...
I thought I was in control and realized I was wrong...this liquid confidence gave me the idea that it would be good if you were gone...
I know I was wrong
can I...
can I...
maybe it's too late to explain...
Divorce seems to be the only way to free us from these miserable chains.
I wanna say I'm sorry...But a cheater never truly changes, nor wins.
I beg for forgiveness and hope god will let me in.
Crazy how love starts so fast and hits so quick...
If you were to ask me then where'd I be seven years later...
I wouldn't ever imagined this.


I'm sorry. I only wish for one last kiss..
I also hope you meet someone who sees, sees all I missed.

(Give me the paper, I'll sign this)

No family pick-nicks, no "good morning baby", no "Good morning" to my kids...just days and days of deep remorse...I guess this what it all means...this is the pain...this is...

He stops writing this letter.

This is Divorce.

Hmm so here's a message.
a message that starts off as something I can't finish
where half of my mixed race can't prosper nor replenish
I died too with "I CAN'T BREATH" I begged too on my knees
to not be a privileged monkey who needs to put on a show for you all to be pleased.  I cough out these words and ya think it's a disease...
But the truth is you motherf#$8*rs are just afraid of me.
I don't blame ya. Enough knowledge to mentally enslave ya
free all my people and throw you all in cages
get how we feel? oh wait i got another half. The kind to walk peacefully and enjoy society as I laugh..
sit in Christ's bath but we was all created equal? tell that to my mixed born as they have to endures life's sequel. TELL EM
Fine I guess I will as I press rewind and tell them of a time where people were unequally designed and the designer might've been blind but sacrificed himself only to cover a lie. OH MY OH MY.
Let me clear my throat so I can preach. What happened to practice what you teach? This all went gone when the man fell upon wanting his dream. But he had a dream and I have a thought... walking around the spotlights because every step I take is distort, and if I accidentally walk into the spotlight they'll probably put me in chains. I'd scream "I'm one of you!" but they'll tell me my other half is to blame as I reminisce of the chains that makes me feel like a slave as I curse out Jesus name BUT he can't quite understand and blocks out my call and watches as we all walk and BANG BANG BANG shoot each other, another home with a divorce, another woman getting destroyed by a weak man who can't control his hand a had to much at the bar and views still distort another politician sitting getting rich as he grabs hold of the assistant and tells her to touch his, dictation in this nation as we cry for discrimination of ideas that are corrupt AND A WORLD DIVIDED BY RACIST for blacks, whites and all, ignorance has no color. The law is taking shots as the people all **** each other. Don't listen to me for I'm just a civilian, who sits down and hopes for better days of our children and change minds of the millions. We'll never see eye to eye. I just wanted an A for effort and Absolutely knew I had to try as I watch more people die and see more mothers cry, blocks, glocks and shots and people standing asking out "why?"
when did the love die? 400 years we rewind. Where things weren't clear and not much was fair but this is life and life does to us what we can't bare. I see nothing but hate, I see love trying to recreate a time when we were young and didn't care about race. Kids playing in the sand that showed love and open hands to join close together and didn't really give a ****. Time is slowly ticking, seconds now turning into minutes...Please, we need to end this war before life itself is finally diminished.
This isn't about race, it isn't about hate. It's about love, power and unity before it's all over...and too late.
So as you look at life's finish line - I beg you...don't finish the race.




Praise to the highest for I can't speak for  you. I follow your road you present to us in hope to find the purity that life truly gives. For my enemies I forgive and for my words are only the truth. Win or lose I will only spread love and peace to try and finish what it is you wanted us to be. A civilized group of people for each others eyes we see. While we may not all agree I believe in the art of compromise and hope to spread the word so may look into another eyes. For I am just one single man whose trying to balance my mistakes and carry your message all in a single hand. All while hoping not to fail. Amen.

Excuse me, sir. Can you take our pic....* (phases out)

This what happens when you cross my mind
I get in my feelings, yeah
I start reminiscing, yeah
If this comes back around, ****t I want it to be different, yeah
Waiting on a sign,
Probably time, for a different prayer.
"Lord please save her for me, do this one favor for me."
I had to change my same ole ways
Things got complicated for me.
Hope she's waiting for me.
Which ever way she goes - I'll make sure to write this song
That's why I'm saying the things, that I say, this way
That way, I know you can't ignore me.
But - oh, oh
Yeah
just give a little of you in exchange for me...
Just need a little of you in exchange for me.

For me...Break it down -
Yeah, like this - check it

We use to lay up - sip relax, share some laughs and talk life
Running my fingers through ya hair until you'd fall asleep at night
Drop a movie line - let me try to guess it
so many fun events
Every moment was a blessing
jokes for days - you were always messing.
Remember eating at our favorite spots
holding hands in the park
I could look at that smile forever
still remember that being my favorite part.
Yeah
But behind every pic- I knew in your mind you had questions.
Should've listened to the details when you spoke
Should've paid more attention.
Learned to be a little more quite - just let her finish her sentence.
Wouldn't of hurt to ask what you liked
let go of some those fights
instead of always wanting to talk about it..
just live and enjoy those nights
Crazy how losing someone can make you see all your wrongs from your rights.
But our chemistry was fire and love oh so real
Give me at least one wish and I would go back and do right on those ordeals.

You think - ****...what could I have done?
While it's true opposites do attract
Doesn't mean that's the case for everyone.
Gotta learn to swallow ya pride - chase it down with a cup of acceptance
You can lower yourself and be bitter or look at someone for all their blessings
Followed up by a confession
I took for granted all that I had
I let my emotions overtake my motives
I let my pride get real bad.
What's an early text or one mid day? When I clearly was on my phone.
What's the reason for complexity? When it was simplicity and fun that you condoned.
Why didn't I ask more questions? Maybe I was afraid of the truth
Why didn't I just do the right things? If so, id probably still have you.

Another man will hold her hand
A different face in her pics
Of course you wonder why it ain't you
But just remember, you were part of the cause of this
Feelings change like the weather
Over time both of us will be better
I just knew I had to write you one last time
Express a few things in this letter.

Vividly remember every moment
Some things you wish you could've changed.
Sadly, nothing stays the same.
Disappointment leaves both people in pain.
No use in reminiscing on the past
If you truly love someone with full respect
You let them go and hope they find happiness on their new path.
Appreciate all they did...and look at the growth you've gain - that will forever last.
Change is inevitable - but it can't take away the memories - the love and your impact.

Lyrically it's a miracle event
When you allow metaphors to be your way to express, ways too vent.
Take all my accounts, even my two cents
As I place a love restraining order over a love I regret

I take all bets, and gamble on her  soul
The blackness of your heart, with a mind who thinks so cold

What happen? You use to be a person who's pride wasn't too hide
I guess ya ego committed a ******, an internal homicide...

You prey on the weak, you endure for the burn
You preach a sorrow story, you rarely give what you've earned

I will always pray for you
But I will never wait for you...
Cause it's future over past
I will never beg for you.

-Dougie Simps

I place my wildest dreams in a system where I can contain
To avoid judgement in a world full people to name
As I learn to drop my pride and forget my fears
I'm still afraid of a woman, I can't name that I'd love to get near
Time ticks so why waste minutes on a bad trip
Of allowing your mind to go and travel through all the bullish
Of evil that tries to deciet you as you drop down to the lords knees
Keep attracting princesses when it's a queen that you truly need
Would you die for peace?
Bleed to survive?
Take the answers off another's test or actually try?
Why lie?
We all creatures of a bad habit
I tend to carry baggage
Still kinda afraid of average
Just felt I needed to express through this hallow pen
To The Lord is the simplicity of my minor thoughts in which I'm tryna send
Please don't resent
Honesty, the truth
Pain doesn't come unless you allow the pain inside you
Whatcha tryna do?
Will fight for what you believe ?
Will she love me unconditionally?
You promised me you wouldn't leave.
My imagination has grown but first it had to die
The terror of the nightmares
The sleeplessness of a lie
Release what you have inside.
I promise it'll set you free
Take a look at your blueprints
Before you go and try to fix me.

She attempts to kiss my lips, it's a novacane feeling,
What use to be beauty, is no longer appealing
My heart no longer needs healing, my mind feels free
Thought I needed you but it was you who needed me
Used and abused, but not broken and confused
The spark made our fire, the connection charged our fuse
Three hearts can't exist, one has to lose
Now baby did you choose?
Let me help you decide,
Opened up your mind, only for you run and hide
Remember those city lights?
I would of shut them all off just to wake up from the morning sun by your side
But the chemistry had died
The pain now lies...or was it the words of "I love you"? I don't know can barely keep track of time...
And I don't lie...I love you but...
Would you rewind?
Would You repeat?
The sweat dripping down your body, The seduction of me...
A night of slo-motion...
Passion bitten on your neck
Baby, take it slow...it's been a while since my last...now, what's next?
Fast forward to the taste of disaster
Feels like these days are moving faster
We attempt to search for one another,
No hearts on the tracker
What's supposed to come after?
Long nights of the gin...
Of a melody to spur the moment
Another body to help your replace your skin...
Maybe it's him?
A dark shadow follows, that is your past,
How can you hold on to me when you can't let go of that...
Said that I wouldn't, wouldn't meet anyone else like you...
If that in fact was true, why doesn't she make me feel blue?
Why doesn't she make me go through, all the bullish you put me through..
Regardless of what I'm saying, I look at her and think of you.
Stuck in the madness...
Feel crazed and dazed,
My mind is running through her thoughts...my love going through her veins...
An addict can relapse and her *** is my drug...her eyes captivate me...her lips become a must...
Was this all more than lust?
I always want you then wanna leave...
It's addiction, it's addiction, it's addiction...pretty girls make you believe they are a need.
You're beyond my need, you're my love, the perfect song in a vortex of a mixture of what we create.
The passion of our hearts and differences in our shapes.
The butterflies in your stomach are the thrill of what you haven't experienced in me,
Don't you see?
I can change your life, just like you've changed me.
What's a man to do...when he only wants a wish...that he can't control and may not come true?
What's she to do? When her mind says "go farther" but heart says "go through" and she wants to come to you but tears go down a path they've already been.
I wonder when...
I wonder why...
I wonder if you love me too, I wonder if I'll ever be your guy.
But this isn't for anything more than to calm what lurks inside

*Your pushes can't move me, your words can't shut me out...because I will forever be there, I will try...one more time.
your walls can grow, your heart can fade, your mind can close and your feelings you can evade. Your truth can lie, your emotions can spill, baby this may take forever...might have to be patient...but for you...I will.

I think it's funny, when girls claim there's no such thing as a good guy when looking for love,
As they go out...
Like you'll find Prince Charming, loaded in the back of the club...you search for a smart dude, instead accept a lying slub…
Who plays the tough guy and starts trouble with any dude who give you a hug.
It's kinda sad...that good girls seem to enjoy the bad...
Makes me question if they were taught self respect from their dad...or maybe they didn't have one so they didn't learn to block ****...so their false interpretation have them skip a star for a useless ***, lets equal out the sum and do a little math, her smart brain plus her beauty equals a *******?wait...let me erase, a new problem I need too create, add the fact that he's ******, and her heart he violates, claiming he works late while goof out on dates as your trusting, naive mind sits home and optimistically waits...
You need to better yourself, see the woman who is great, don't settle for a pretty face and immediately assume it's faith.
Women I'm just trying to help, a dude with a tighten up belt, I can relate too your pain cause I know how being cheated on felt.
I feel for your heart and wanna heal all your minds, just remember a dude on his own knows how to make a woman shine and he loves her for her and will always give her his all...he takes in her beauty but loves her for her flaws.
I know men are tough and at times and ya have enough, we play our cards our way and you constantly have to try and call our bluffs
So to all my women who read this I promise not all of us are the same and all women, we got em'
This here my story for all my beautiful girls
This is Girl Problems.