Today I feel sad,
Not convinced about this life.
Such a strange, strange world.

Something made out of nothing,
The new and the renewed.

How long does it take until you begin to realise,
Until you remember just how much of a fool you really are?

Do the heavens have to open and release all hell,
Do the gun echoes have to ricochet right through my heart?

Does the sun have to take a morning break and delay it's early rise,
Does the moon have to shy away into the depth of the clouds?

How long does it take until you begin to realise,
That something isn't right?

I've been an idiot,
A prospering-now-spiralling-into-decline-fool.

There was no knight to rescue me
that night - just a gentle breeze, whispering the secrets of the earth
The cheering of cheery companions taunt me -
Go and join in, have some fun
The night is sweet, the night is young
Empty glass bottles fill the house,
Not yet shattered, but waiting to be
The clinking of alcoholic beverages between each merry soul
Good to see you again my friend,
Good to see you again
Somehow, some thing is missing
Something isn't right
The gentle hum of the party's vibes as it swings into life
distracts me from my sole intention:
Keep a low cover, don't make any noise
Keep a low cover, stay away from the boys.

I know,
There must be some males out there,
who care
And I know,
I may be overreacting, I think.
But, I also know,
That it isn't okay, or funny or clever
to mess around with peoples' emotions, whatever

You know
That there are females out there,
that care.
And you know,
I may be overreacting, perhaps.
But you also know
that it isn't my fault, not this time, not now
it's completely yours, and you've let me down.

He said with such ease 'I'm going, I've had enough'
He added, 'I don't love you, things have got tough'
I didn't cry, nope, wouldn't give him the satisfaction

I whispered, barely audible 'I still love you, you know?'
I added, 'It's hard, but, I'm not ready to let you go'
He didn't respond, he wouldn't face me for the rest of the conversation

And if this is what a breakup feels like,
I don't want to ever give away my heart to anybody else
Not ever, never.

I don't want to waste my affection, so tender and genuine
On somebody who is going to throw it back in my face, forcefully,
turn on their heels, and walk away.

It hurts, like a needle, pricking your heart.
It hurts, like a pounding headache after an enjoyable night out.

You need to understand, I don't need somebody to hold my hand
But I need support, comfort and love.
As if what I've given to you already, isn't enough.

He said, once again, 'I'm leaving, and that is that'
This time, I said, 'Fine then, off you go,
You ****'.

If you were to look closely,

You'd see;

How the shadows follow their helpless folks at night, perhaps lost themselves.

You'd see;

The eery echo of footsteps belonging not to the human themselves, but their thoughts, their paranoia

For they're not alone, they are never alone

Hush! Hush!

Don't let the them know you're listening -
Don't allow them to control your very existence,

What do you hear at night?
When all is quiet and the gentle buzz of life has composed itself, now simmering

What do you hear at night?
Silence? Or worse, the benign yet firm whisperings of your mind.

If you were to look closely,
(which I suggest you do not)
You'd see things beyond your realm of understanding.

Don't look, don't ever look closely again.

"Just stop messaging, ringing me etcetera.
What happened, happened.
Move on,
please!"

No pause, no hesitation.
He continued

"I don't want to be mates etcetera.
I just want to focus on the next step in my life"

He concluded,

"It's nothing you did, I just think you're not
what I'm looking for really."