Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 
352 · Aug 2017
Believe in me..
Brenda Mukisa Aug 2017
I sak at many things most times.
The things I do best are dressing up and getting good grades.
Friendships are complicated.
Love requires thinking.
Feeling things when you don't want to.
Sharing parts of you you don't want to.

I am a very private person.
I find the concept of wedding by church complex.
I love God.
I just find the white dress, groom at the front and faces...
Extremely overwhelming.

I want to take dressed selfies.
Mirror selfies in pajamas and toothbrushes.
Playing selfies...the random ones between moments.
I want to scream love and look like it.
I want to be able to let the world know.

I just love my private life.
I love the mystery from not knowing  too.
I am happy from us.
I believe its possible.....

I believe in us
I believe in me.....
341 · Sep 2017
Empty
Brenda Mukisa Sep 2017
In a certain version of life you are full.
Fulfilled in what ever you do
Full of a certain kind of in comparable joy
Life blooms around you
Life thrives as long as you are existing.
Every one feels like their lives are and have been made whole
As long as you are involved in that life.
In that version of life...
You feel whole yourself.

This is for those who have never known this moment.
Of course they have moments of it in their heads
They get to zone out in buses or on planes
Looking out windows and imagining that all is well
That all can be well.
Imagining life as they wish it was.
It is sad and empty and terrible yet binding.
In those moments all is well
Split seconds.
Moments in time.
Moments out of their imagined dull existence
Those get to be lived in a better place created in their minds.

I chose to stand on the other end every day
If it was possible every time
But this now  real version is so demanding
Feeding must happen all the time.
The body demands too much in this version
From cleaning to feeding
Protecting when it is in danger
Or treatment when it is ailing.

I chose to see a new version
Where both can exist without one tearing the other apart
Its not being needy or hard to please.
Its wanting to take this feeling away
This feeling that is so burdening and consuming
This endless need to see life from a different perspective.
A perspective where you love here and now
Not because you want to
But because its what is happening
And there are no other options
Gaps for wishing otherwise.
Or days you grad moments and want to hold onto them.

I long for a version where i do not have to feel empty
Or pretend to be fulfilled.
331 · Sep 2017
just maybe..
Brenda Mukisa Sep 2017
I always wondered if different was just a saying
Or way of life.
There is that feeling you can habour
You do not hate your life or your surrounding
But always you ask your self
What if there was another place
Another version of reality
What if there is a place where all is different.
What if there is hope on the other end.

What if in that moment of death.
There is light.
And just like that.
You sit there every day knowing
That if you could
You could not mind crossing over
And death isn't such a scary thing after all.
329 · Apr 2018
Bipolar
Brenda Mukisa Apr 2018
Today I read about Bipolar
my question was if it is really a disease or a phase. So I went through the symptoms.
then I asked my self a question, am I that ill?

i) Constantly changing ideas and topics while talking.
I'd talk about Africa and Europe and how the moon would be a better home for me in one paragraph or sentence.

ii) Loud, rapid, and uninterruptible speech. My best friend says that she cant wait to talk loudly with me when I visit because I'll sing out loud and tell stories as loudly as I can. I often have to repeat things I've said but Its a happy place.

iii) Hyperactive behavior and amplified energy. There are mornings when I wake up and the first thing I do is sing and dance, hug people happily, sometimes I even have the need to dance over nothing in the middle of a road because I'm happy.

iv) Exaggerated self-image (self-confidence). I always say that things can not go wrong and should not, not because they wont but because I choose to think positively, walk i to that room and speak to a stranger if you can, put on that dress if you like it.. I say.

v) Going through Increased creativity and productivity,Grandiose beliefs, Irregular elation or euphoria, Irregular irritability, Random (very high) energy spikes, Loss of enjoyment in once-pleasurable things, Consistent sadness or depressed mood, Loss of energy or fatigue, Insomnia or excessive sleep, Problems with concentration and/or making decisions, Feelings of worthlessness or guilt, Feeling overwhelmed with sadness or despair, Impaired concentration and decisiveness, Diminished pleasure in once-enjoyable activities, Fatigue or lacking energy nearly every day.

Life is happening now and we should live it.
I'm not saying the diagnosis is wrong, I'm saying that some people have more than 4 symptoms but they arent sick, they are just having their best lives now.

its a struggle you must win everyday.
....living.
felt like leaving this here.
324 · Aug 2017
Write...
Brenda Mukisa Aug 2017
In a culture where reading is corny
Writing is even worse.
How do you explain child hood.
If all you had was a stuck of magazines.
Dreams dreamt.
At so tender an age.
Vision built.
Life looked at at a different perspective.
A beautiful perspective.

How do you explain.
That childhood can be books and stories.
How do you explain that its okay.
To not play in the hot afternoon sun.
To not mingle with the neighbourhood kids.
Because Beckham looks better on that magazine cover.
And you prefer to understand every bit of his wedding.

Is it wrong to grow up so fast.
Is it wrong to know about the world at 4.
And explain it better than the teacher...
Because you've read the story over and over...
Is it wrong to try to understand.
Actual things apart from dodge ball and running.

Maybe knowing is the greatest strength.
A gift open to readers.
Whereas others were born to live.
Others were born to do much more.
To spell life out.
To record moments.
To write down history.
And to proudly read it out......
To remind the world of a beauty they are too busy to record.
321 · Jun 2017
This life time.....
Brenda Mukisa Jun 2017
In this life time.
I sit at my office desk.
Its the same room, same furniture, same computer.
I look at the same art piece every day.
Same faces seated across the room. The same old routine.
I donot hate it, its just my boring "normal".

But in my mind.
Its one of those days. With just enough sun .
Seated at a window in a beautiful apartment.
I love the ice cream melting in my palm.
My love will be back in  hour.
I cannot wait to see his face.
I look across the room and see the dress I just made.
I'm happy here, I love here, Id stay here.forever....

Every morning me and him go jogging.
We then make breakfast together.
playing and laughing like children.
I look at him and I love him, deep down, I know he loves me too.
I watch him walk to his car, and I get ready to design a new dress.
I am very happy. so happy.

But in this life time, I'm just at my desk, and its just another basic day.
And when I get home tonight, it will be to a quiet, lonely house.
320 · Mar 2018
Continuation of an end
Brenda Mukisa Mar 2018
i.   the first time I saw you, you sat on the floor
at my house, I'd never met or seen you.
You smiled and said my name, then my sister's.
you seemed like the kind of person that belongs.
that fits perfectly and can be held onto.

ii.  we were perfect, making merry and laughing at things
it looked bright for the both of us.
that first night, we promised each other that we could always work it out.
no matter how rough it could ever get.
if only we had seen us now.

iii.  you jeer at everything I do or say.
according to you I am mean and unloving, disrespectful even.
according to me you are selfish, mean, bad hearted, bad mannered, uncultured, disrespectful, childish, unforgiving, filled with anger and jealousy, not moral-ed ..... and all the things I shouldn't have ever met.

iv.   its because of people like you that unmeet buttons should have existed.
Hate is a strong word, but sometimes I feel it when I think of you.
I have been feeling terrible these past few weeks because of someone in my life.....just had to vent here.
303 · Jul 2017
Dark night
Brenda Mukisa Jul 2017
dark night.
The wind is slow but surely present.
Somehow we dont feel it, atleast I donot.
my porch we are starting on.
look up  the stars are beautiful.
pull me close
i'll lean on your shoulder.

wait for this moment.
lean deeper  its happening.
Tonight,  the happiest person in the world.
Is my best
because on dark nights like these.
stories begin, or a story begins.
maybe.... began
300 · Mar 2018
Maybe selfish.
Brenda Mukisa Mar 2018
you...
your scent, your smile
the way you look dressed up.

I miss parts of you.............
that were never mine
to begin with.
because I once met a great person, someone is person.... and failed to get over him.
294 · Mar 2022
a little less angry
Brenda Mukisa Mar 2022
are you happy..
you asked me

i was so angry for so long
i woke up angry
i went to bed even more angry...

so yes.... maybe not happy all the time
but definitely not angry anymore
and it feels good to not be so angry any more.
289 · Oct 2018
Soft
Brenda Mukisa Oct 2018
Its not the ideal definition.
Its however all I can think of now.
Your soft touch, almost cold, almost too soft.....
Its the kind you think you imagined, but you know you didn't.

How are you?
I'm not fine..... I didn't see you all day.....

The love of my life is from....
I look at you and smile.....
you are smiling too.... with your eyes too.....

It reminds me of one of our first conversations
It makes me realize you were listening.

Hello, my name is Brenda.
I want to say......

I want to stop the staring that never says anything
I know you are looking
I know because I cant stop looking too

Hello......
I want to know you like me.
.......because  I know you feel it too...I think you feel it too.....
288 · Aug 2017
Easier
Brenda Mukisa Aug 2017
Its the brevity in words
the way they are said
I've met rude people who sound gentle
And gentle people who sound rude
How do we go from here
How do we start a new
Its more complicated than it seems
Or easier than we see.

I always wondered about life
I always wondered about everything.
Nothing and everything.
There are empty feelings in all.
Some scream them, others don't.
Pretending things don't exist never made them go away.
But still some people choose it.

Lets run away.
Lets make a story.
A story we would love.
A story others can fall in love with too.
Lets be proud of beggings.
Lets hold onto them to the end.
I'm proud of life......
I will hold onto it forever.
284 · Mar 2018
The Guy In The Bus.
Brenda Mukisa Mar 2018
she'd watched him.
first from a distance
then up close.....

now, she'd talked to him even.
She had fought for him.

I did not get your name.....
Brenda.
......
then, she walked away.
Brenda Mukisa Nov 2017
Maybe its all about the little things

May be its not
This life didnot come with rules and regulations

Genesis reminds us how much we ****** at them.

May be that is the point.

That you alone can decide what to become.

You alone know how you feel inside.

You alone know how far you've come.

So, become what ever you like.

Even if it means changing your mind every day.
read 2003. It explains this poem.
Brenda Mukisa Aug 2017
They say it takes 21 days to break a habit.
I used to believe them
But when you cannot leave some one alone.
No matter how much they push you away.
When you smile when you think of them.
Or force stop your self from liking them.
And fail terribly.
Make faces when you meet them....
Mutual faces.

You know they are the one.
You would choose them over and over.
Whether they choose you or not.
And its been years..
But you still have the habit of liking them
271 · Jun 2017
The boy doesnot love me.
Brenda Mukisa Jun 2017
When I met you, I didn't care.
I just wanted to pass an exam.
I just wanted to be somewhere else.
Its easier to believe you are running when you aren't looking.
I just wanted to survive.

Looking at you every day changed my life.
I just kept looking at you and falling for you.
I remember fighting the thought every time.
Then someone lied that admitting it would take the feeling away.
But each day I loved you..... so much it started to hurt.

When they say people do crazy things for love,
Somehow they forget the madness in between.
The great fear that you may actually go mad.
The endless sleepless nights and anxiety expecting to see a sign.
Love maybe a good thing, but it does things to you.
It changes you in ways and you never recover.

Endless days of pure humiliation and self loss.
Finally I do not love you.
I do not look out of car windows expecting you to drive by.
I do not find reasons to visit or text you.
I look at new boys and wish they were as cool as you.
I do not search for signs or find reasons.
I stand next to you, look at you, and I don't love you.
But you do not love me still.

Now I know and accept,  that you never loved me.
I accept,"The boy doesn't love me".
264 · Mar 2020
Old lover.
Brenda Mukisa Mar 2020
This is a short story about me.
I've been to tons of dates.
Some good, some plain, others bad.
Most importantly I have gone to each
Hoping it will be my last stranger date
That the next time I return
We are a couple of old lovers
Meeting again and falling in love
For the 100th time from the first time I saw you
And you me
But I still look at you across  a room
And there is no one I would rather be with
I choose you too much
And you..... you look at with recognition
And that is all I get....
A familiar face, eyes, voice....
I stopped wondering if people could love me
Maybe I focus more on the love I can give
One day its going to return
In  a thousand-fold
Until then, I look at the next handsome guy
That smiles at me...and smile with my heart
Who knows, it could be you....
over and over!
Brenda Mukisa Jun 2017
I do not want to choose you
I thought you were okay.
Not handsome but okay to look at.
Your face or style didn't sweep me off my feet.
Your so plain I wonder how I would even like you.

I've always found fashion cautious men attractive.
I do not even understand your cloth test.
I don't see any shoe passion when I look at your feet.
Call me weird but I think its a thing in my head.

I look for a scent when I am next you.
Somehow that happens a lot lately.
And I cannot find it either.
That is a thing for me too.
The universe is screaming nooo.....
I am starting to agree.

I look at you, and your definitely not my kind of person.
I wonder what your doing in my head.
I wonder why its even complicated.

I do not want to choose you.
Somehow , slowly by slowly, my heart is.
257 · Oct 2019
Dates
Brenda Mukisa Oct 2019
The day of my first date.
I had two dates.
I thought I'd walk in there and be out in an hour
He was early and I thought "what will this be like".
Then he talked about everything.
I don't remember the last time I'd smiled that much.
Its all I did that day.
4 hours later, I'd cancelled my second date.....
When I walked away you texted me and said you had a great time.
And you wanted to see me again that night...
To think now we've been on 5 dates and we talk every day....

Some how I made it to my second date....
He was nice, but I was on my phone.
He put me on his bike.
I thought I would fall off and I never saw him again.
Because my first date was minutes away and wanted to see me again.....

My third date
He was nice.
We had great wine, and I tried new food.
I was far away from home and so happy....
I went home and texted my first date.
Just two strangers far away from home.

My fourth date.
We walked along the beach.
Talked about dreams and laughed and smiled.
Had icecream and made videos.
I still smile about you.....
I told you I'd see you two years from then...
I kissed you goodnight and I knew I'd probably never see you again.

My fifth date.
His eyes were grey-blue.
And he was tall and so wise and for a moment I thought I'd stop running.
And maybe when we stood out there....
You smoking your cigarette.
I knew it was the end....
I almost wished it wasn't.

My sixth date.
He has that tired look on his face.
Very often its like he is too tired to talk so he uses actions.
He has that smile that makes you feel like the world is beautiful.
His smile could light up a room.
I envy his hair, he doesn't need a brush.
He makes me believe that I can try...
With him....
But we've been to dinner, the movies, Friday night games..
brunch....... I even decided I like techno music.... number 1... maybe I am starting to like you too....

My Seventh date.
I see him and I don't know what I am doing anymore.
But here we are....
Today we go to our 3rd date.....
and I am a girl who doesn't know...
But it’s easy to know when one minute we can talk a future and the next it can hit both of us that this isn’t an option.

My 8th date.
He was great.... we sipped wine at a balcony and talked about Starbucks and Macdonalds .... then we danced to music... two strangers dancing together far away yet present.....

My ninth date.
He talked about race and all things that crossed his mind....
sitting on my sofa pretending this was real....
I told you you were 20 minutes late... but you didn’t think that.
Maybe this is it for this universe.... that’s all we got.... but I’ll find ways in which I can remember you.... after all number 2 isn’t so bad a number.....

Then there is you.
The beginning....
"Can I please go with you guys?"
That is the first thing I ever said to you.....
I think.....
But you changed my life..... one kiss...
One touch.....
But then again.... it was one look.... the very first time I saw you.
I didn't see your face, or your eyes, or your nose...
I just brushed my eyes past you and I knew...
I was going to do you.
I did it my way.....
256 · Jul 2017
A place called here
Brenda Mukisa Jul 2017
There is a place where nothing grows
I stand on the side lines and look for hope
Signs or even, illusions.
In that place, I'm drowning
I do not even know if I want to be saved.
Sometimes I think that is the problem.
Its too sad and empty.
In that place I'm reaching out for you every day.
That place is here and now.
And I die every day.
256 · Mar 2018
Cravings.
Brenda Mukisa Mar 2018
Love me now...too much.
Love me deeply and wholesomely...
I want to feel you want me.....
Make me crave you...
Your touch, sound, smell......
...you.....
Give me everything...
or nothing.
My heart hurts too bad right now and I do not even know why and it saddens me deeply...... days like this... one craves more love.
255 · Mar 2019
this time, the boy likes me
Brenda Mukisa Mar 2019
was it that time you told me you saw too much in me
that there is too much potential in me
or when you went with my eating whim
you just supported me, believed in me.

you still look at me the same way
you still really look at me

that night you told me you liked me
you added..... really like you.....
i still smile to it

this time, the boy likes me..... i smile.
love eventually finds you.
254 · Sep 2017
What if....
Brenda Mukisa Sep 2017
what if you hadn't showed up that day
what if you had stayed home
what if you had slept in and showed up late
what if you had missed that interview
what if you had been transferred else where
what if you worked with different people.

would you be happier?

what if you had missed that paper
what if you had done a different paper
what if you went to another university
what if you had dropped out of Uni
or chosen a different program..

would you be happier?

what if you hadn't applied for that internship
what if you had gotten another offer
and taken it
what if you had stayed at your internship place.

would you be happier?

what if you met your self
from a different perspective.
from an external perspective.
what if you saw yourself the way those that love you
get to see you

would you love you too?
253 · Aug 2017
I have learned
Brenda Mukisa Aug 2017
That life has many turns
That some people will never like you.
And you may never like some.
That some people can love you too much.
You can feel it.
That sometimes you cant explain why you love some people.
And why they love you always.
That sometimes love comes from those you least expected.
And so does hate.

I have learned..
That people leave.....
And sometimes they do not look back.
That anyone can break a heart.
Even when they do not want to.
That sometimes people make selfish choices.....
But it does not make them bad people.
That life is soo beautiful...
And so are people....
You just have to want to see it.....

I have learned.
That people may not stay always.
But it will never mean they do not miss you......
That as long as you believe ...
Life will find a way to be okay.
249 · Sep 2017
love elsewhere
Brenda Mukisa Sep 2017
she often wondered what he thought when he looked at her.
he did it a lot.
he just stood there and stared...
but now she understood.

because now she knew where his heart was.
maybe he wondered how to tell her.
maybe in his own way ,
he wanted to tell her...
if only he knew.
that she could be happy for him.
that she would celebrate his happiness.
maybe he would tell her....

and when she looked at him.
she now knew.
that she was happy for him.
that he had found love elsewhere.
and she hoped this time.....
he would be happy enough to commit.
247 · Jul 2017
Before I go.
Brenda Mukisa Jul 2017
I am fine.
I am okay.
You think you lost me.
I think I saved myself.
Maybe I got so good at running.
I cannot look backwards.
I miss you still, I am still here.
Nowadays, I feel my self going.

Before I go.
I wish we would love.
So real, so much.
One more time, without questions or doubt.

Just one more time.
Before I go.
246 · Mar 2018
Let Me In.
Brenda Mukisa Mar 2018
Tell me about your self

The real you, not what you think will sit well with me
Tell me why you want a particular thing
Tell me why its so important to you to leave
or stay....

Tell me about you.

What you remember about your first day of school
Why you stayed there
What you think about good grades
Why you want/wanted that course
About you time in school
Your best and sad moments.

Tell me about you

Who your first love was/is
Why you broke up
What you think about love.
Who your best friend is and why.....

Tell me about you

What goes through your head
Which faces you make and why
About your home and growing up.
About the things that make you smile or cry
Your best movie and song
Tell me anything.


Tell me random things that come to your mind
Just .....let... me... in....
I crave deeper conversation with real people
243 · Mar 2018
Met
Brenda Mukisa Mar 2018
Met
I met you.
you walked in, perfect sense of style and classy phone
your big beard didn't make sense to others but did to me
it seemed to make you so male and perfect and I liked that.
I didn't see you as perfect, I just saw you as mine possible.
the kind of attraction didn't make sense to me either
I cannot point out what I loved most about you.
I just loved you with a love so gentle, perfect and innocent.
I think I'm over you until I remember you and sometimes it feels like I will always be gripped.

I met him.
He walked through the corridor.
with his hat on, full jumper, jeans and African print back pack.
he looked perfect in his shorts...had your sense of style.
but most importantly, he had your beard.
then he removed his sweater and showed his tattoos.
he smoked like a chimney and drunk enough not to get high.
I always hated the smell of cigarettes until I met him
maybe it was the way the smoke mixed up with his cologne.
giving him his unique scent that I hold onto on a t shirt in my closet.
I couldn't wash it in case I lost that scent, so I just kept it.
one meeting, many hugs, one kiss one night....
and he was gone too.... forever

I met you through another
its what I tell my self because I cannot seem to forget you both
the guys with the beard.
you made me look at beards different.
he added tattoos and cigarettes to the list.....

I miss you both.
236 · Mar 2018
CRAZY
Brenda Mukisa Mar 2018
I crave you.
In the deepest most unreal ways.
I’d let you consume me.
And you wouldn’t even have to ask...
234 · Sep 2017
A certain kind of love
Brenda Mukisa Sep 2017
every one deserves or wants
a certain kind of love.
some  know it
some sell them selves short.
some wait for what they deserve.
others are simply clueless.

we deserve a certain kind of love.
one that makes us smile
at the thought of it.
one that gives us energy to wake up.
one that lifts you when your down.
encourages you to be better.
is ever present when you need it.
it gives life meaning....

this might and could be different for all.
they've just got to know what kind they deserve.
and chase it.
233 · May 2018
CROWDED SPACE.
Brenda Mukisa May 2018
kinder spirit
always looking for the best in people
and situations.
looking at options many seem to ignore
choosing to blame all involved parties and not just the easier one.

kinder spirit
who said that your mindset will be the end of you
who said that you can only be normal thinking like every body else.

kinder spirit.
stay kind.
normal is a crowded space
226 · Mar 2022
but did you tell them...
Brenda Mukisa Mar 2022
did you tell them that they are the best part of your day
that them existing and walking into a room makes that room different for you...
that waking up to their texts makes all the difference there is
that if you could choose to exist next to someone it could be them...
did you tell them

did you tell them that you like looking at them
watching them smile or just exist
that you see their flaws but even those would never matter when it comes down to it...
that you do not have to wonder when asked about them
that you are sure about what you feel about them

did you tell them
that them showing up in your life opened you to new versions of yourself you did not know even existed.
that you thought you were not capable of some things until them.
that you a different person and maybe a better lover because of them
that they opened you up....

did you tell them.....
did you tell them that most days you know that they are wrong for you
that you can see yourself being pulled under by them..
captivated by their energy...
drawn in by them over and over even when the possibility of similar endings are possible.

but did you tell them..
that most days, you are pretty sure that this is some sort of love
a raw, deep and real sort of love...
maybe not the common and known kind... but definitely there.....
did you tell them, i love you anyway......
224 · Aug 2017
Clearer
Brenda Mukisa Aug 2017
We roam when we must not.
There is a place of dissatisfaction.
Some people think it is a curse.
But is it really?

Its simple to hold onto
Its simple to let go of.
Life floats away
We often see it do so..
Its sad most of the times...

Stability is an urgent need.
Most times its what we seek.
Most times its what we don't have.
Its the uncertainty that drains us.
The fear from the unknown.
The fear of falling.
The fear of not being saved.

Every human needs saving.
Some from the external.
0thers from within.
That is the greatest fear worthy thing.
Some have a problem.
Others don't.
Most times all we need is a clear picture.
Only a few get to see it.

To see what to run to or from.
may be things are not as bad as they seem
222 · Mar 2018
Spent sadness.
Brenda Mukisa Mar 2018
I have written many sad poems.
I have run out of sadness.
I spent it all desperately.
Like a drunkard on another shot of whiskey.

I've spent all my sadness. Now only happiness remains.

I walked on a rainy muddy road this morning.
I nearly cried from sadness.
Then a woman with a baby stopped for me.
I got in at the back and just then, I saw it.
It looked at me and struggled successfully to sit next to me.
It held my cold hand and gave me all its warmth.

I realized I couldn't be sad. Happiness and warmth filled my heart.

I will sit at my house tonight.
Open that coconut whiskey and dance to any song on my TV.
I will take time looking through every room and drink to it.
I will text my best friend and tell her I love her.
I will celebrate this newly found happiness.

I've run out of reasons to be sad, now I will look for happiness.
216 · Mar 2018
2003
Brenda Mukisa Mar 2018
I do not know much about 2003
cant remember much
but,
.....I remember me.

Young ,Stranded, Cold, Scared,
Hurt...Broken, Sad......
Lonely.

2003.

Hopeful.... Hopeless ,Then hopeful again.
Expectant.....Trusting.... Willing....
Heart broken.

2012

Lost,..... Dreamer.....Bigger dreamer....
Almost found.

2018.

Still dreaming.....
Still hoping.....
And on some days, .......most days.
Still lost.
an explanation of the poem. A little truth, about becoming.
211 · Aug 2021
MORE HAPPY THAN NOT?
Brenda Mukisa Aug 2021
I want to say that you can arrive….. I want to believe that you can.
When I decided to leave, I did not even know to where.
I always believed that I would find somewhere far a way.
Where the plants and trees are often green.
And the lake or water really is somewhat a walk away.
And that every day I am glad to be here.
But most importantly that I am elsewhere.
That people get to learn my name.
To know about me. To wonder about what I am like.
I did not go far away, just away.
But there is green every where and the river is beautiful.
I get new lovely kids who say teacher instead of miss.
And the people, well atleast most of them, are kind and nice.
The only blue eyes here are off tiktok…..
The closest thing I have to a best friend here lets me sit on her yoga mat.
She sits on the floor and this is important because it is the only seat in the house.
And brunch is a whole experience because it accompanies a walk in the quiet town.
No one grabs phones or bags here so you can actually walk
the water in the shower is always warm to hot and dinner is a family affair
Laughing and talking around the table and maybe, just maybe….
I can be more happy than not.
208 · Jun 2017
For love's sake....
Brenda Mukisa Jun 2017
I used to look at you.
And feel everything in me scream.
They may say I'm empty.
I almost believe them.
but that quantity of love wouldn't pour from an empty vessel.

I don't regret you.
May be I should.
But why should I.
Because for love's sake.
You gave meaning to my heart.
208 · Feb 2018
DO NOT FORGET ME.
Brenda Mukisa Feb 2018
When the hour comes
When everyone has moved on
When people are in their happy place
Donot forget me

Remember my loud talk
My failure to be wrong or accept defeat
My consistent singing
My dream to see the entire world one day
My openness to people yet failure to draw them in
My obsession with personal space and privacy…
And above all,
My wish to not ever be forgotten.

I’ve left parts of me in this world
Random words, sayings, pictures…..and articles..
Find a way to find them.
When I am gone forever....
Then remember me……

After all, forever is along time .....
and, no one is here forever.
205 · Sep 2017
Savior
Brenda Mukisa Sep 2017
every one talked about a savior
apparently everything gets better when it gets here
that is what was said about Jesus
though not everyone took the time to believe.
we are born at a time of little or no faith
we long to see with our eyes
long to touch even
do we ever consider what happens after we have seen and touched

yet this time our only option is to trust and believe
or do we just sit back and pretend it never happend

i come to you with news of this saviour
yess doubt not
i have seen with my own eyes
and i've taken my time to touch and study
i cant say everything said was true or false
but don't quote me wrong
we may all be in for some surprises.
we don't ******* IBS it stuck with us through tough times
we cant say we didn't love different parts of it.
and saying bye wont come easy either.

but we can enjoy the period as it comes in
allow it to over whelm and excite us
learn from it also
and when it is settled and has sunk
thrive at this new discovery
fall in love with something new.
something obviously better.

imagination is a beautiful thing
its encouraged at every level of existence.
in this case we need to actually be ready
not imagine readiness or pretend its real.
i choose to believe that every one is as ready as me.
choose to believe and be it as well.

together lets make excellence history.
together let us allow clarity enable us to thrive.
199 · Jul 2017
Season of decisions.
Brenda Mukisa Jul 2017
There comes a time to choose
You do not have to be ready.
You just have to make your pick.
To know what is best for you.
To decide what you must do.
To make a decision that is best.

There is a season of decisions.
You just make a decision each day.
And pray you chose you.
And you chose right.
197 · Feb 2018
Apoem for Anna
Brenda Mukisa Feb 2018
for Anna.
daughter, sister, friend, mum.....teacher.
disease shouldnt have touched you.
time shoudnt have caught up with you.

they say there are no perfect people
i say they didnt meet you....

to Anna.
I once worried I'd forget you.
today more than ever, I know i'd never.
Anna Kasango.
197 · Nov 2017
big cities
Brenda Mukisa Nov 2017
I dream of big cities
Distant cities.
Beautiful cities
Filled with loving and kind people.

I dream of a better world
Where there is no mean bitter woman
Yelling at you and making you fell less
Feel like an outsider
In the one place
You are supposed to feel safest.

I dream of large bridges
A million lights lighting up dark nights
Tall beautiful buildings.
Beautiful people.
Different shades of skin color
Distant and merry laughter.

Music
Beautiful music
Not far yet not near
Filling ears, filling souls,
Making one feel whole
Bringing memories of yesterday
Not sad, just smile worthy.

I dream of large windows
With large, long cream curtains
Soft and comforting
Cream high walls and soft grey woolen carpets
Warm and *****

I dream of happiness
I dream of better big cities.
what if going away didnt change anything
194 · Oct 2017
about us
Brenda Mukisa Oct 2017
i wonder about us
i donot know about us
i am a very sure person
with you its uncertainity
they say love is wierd
or complicated even
but how do i over come this
how do i go past this.

im tired of feeling hopeless
loveless or not sure
love is not complicated
we shouldnt belive it is
its easy
i love you
you love me back
as simple as the words are.

im tired of being told it not possible
that he may walk a way
or have a past i cannot handle
stand by and support me instead
that is what i need
not scary messages
or sad stories
let us love
let us be happy
allow me to love in peace
this is about us
me and him
not the world.
and yess, this is possible.
193 · Jul 2017
like you.
Brenda Mukisa Jul 2017
I asked for tall, light skinned, handsome.
You are not that.
But you, God you....
You make me feel things.
You make me want to believe.
You make me choose you.

Goddddd.... I think I like you for real.
192 · Mar 2018
Depth.
Brenda Mukisa Mar 2018
Deeply, innocently, wholly.
with every fiber in me.
my entire being.
I reached out for you.
188 · Jul 2017
Love....
Brenda Mukisa Jul 2017
That's the thing about love
It doesn't warn you.
It doesn't prepare you.
One moment you love your life.
And the next moment this person is a part of it.
Filling spaces that seemed full before.
Taking all, and giving more.

You think you like a certain kind of handsome.
Then a different kind of human shows up.
Suddenly you smile at moments past.
And just like that, you've fallen.
187 · Mar 2022
going and coming...
Brenda Mukisa Mar 2022
are we going
better yet, are we coming

i keep looking
i keep searching

in this slow dance
in this beautiful mess

i have grown
but i feel blown

old yet young
small yet big

you consume me when you want
i let you when you come....

i beat my self up for this
yet you enjoy this..... maybe

you want me
you want others...

i want you
and i want others

one of us is fooling the other
is one of us loving the other....
183 · Oct 2021
the cat named Ingrid
Brenda Mukisa Oct 2021
you see Ingrid is male
now donot ask why
you we didnt know if he was initially male or female
you see the person who named him hates cats.
like really really hates cats.
which is werd
ı mean because cats are lovely
also there was a time ı didnt love cats
okay that is wrong
ı dıd not hate cats.
i was verily terrified of cats
and then someone showed up..
and they loved dogs.... so i loved dogs...
and then i moved and met Cinamon.
she is Ingrids mum...
and now Ingrid comes over often...
hungs with us...
and we feed him and love him
you see when we found out he is male
we didnt want to change his name because we loved it already..
so now we have a male cat called Ingrid...
180 · Mar 2018
Consumed.
Brenda Mukisa Mar 2018
You deserve a love that consumes you.
and makes you feel whole.

You deserve a love that makes you happy.
and leaves no room for doubt.
YOU DESERVE HAPPINESS
180 · Jun 2017
Grow in me.
Brenda Mukisa Jun 2017
A heart that understands.
A heart that is patient.
A heart that doesn't judge.
A heart that looks for reason....

They say we are not supposed to be perfect.
They never said we cant.

Maybe we settled for so less.
We forgot how to reach out for more.

To be a better person.
A better sister
A better daughter.
A better friend.
And one day, a better wife.

so when better can thrive, please grow in me.
Next page