When I met you, I didn't care.
I just wanted to pass an exam.
I just wanted to be somewhere else.
Its easier to believe you are running when you aren't looking.
I just wanted to survive.

Looking at you every day changed my life.
I just kept looking at you and falling for you.
I remember fighting the thought every time.
Then someone lied that admitting it would take the feeling away.
But each day I loved you..... so much it started to hurt.

When they say people do crazy things for love,
Somehow they forget the madness in between.
The great fear that you may actually go mad.
The endless sleepless nights and anxiety expecting to see a sign.
Love maybe a good thing, but it does things to you.
It changes you in ways and you never recover.

Endless days of pure humiliation and self loss.
Finally I do not love you.
I do not look out of car windows expecting you to drive by.
I do not find reasons to visit or text you.
I look at new boys and wish they were as cool as you.
I do not search for signs or find reasons.
I stand next to you, look at you, and I don't love you.
But you do not love me still.

Now I know and accept,  that you never loved me.
I accept,"The boy doesn't love me".