Have you ever stumbled upon someone life-shatteringly special?
You lose your breath and can't think straight.
But somehow they've stuck around.
Feeling like a stunned vegetable to your innocent charisma.

Like divine intervention we met in the most unlikely of ways.
We hit it off and spent hours together, confined and stressed.
How did we get along so well?
How did we manage to learn more together than alone?
How did we manage to find each other in this big world?
I'll always wonder if there is more to this story.
Answers to my plaguing questions that rule my emotional state.

I don't know how to describe what it is I feel in a rational way.
It doesn't serve rationale.
Writing it all down or saying it only compounds how crazy I must sound.
But I'm not a loony bin. On the contrary, you are just infinitely more special than you realise!

But I'll not skip a note nor bump a chord.
Because I see you so finely in all your elegance.
A beauty which radiates in an innocent manifestation.
I can't tell if everyone else can see it also.
They must?!
I must have no chance here.
I know I should cut my losses and move on.
Right..?
Hope to find this feeling once more.
But something from beyond the blackened ether of midnight skies and space dust tells me to keep trying.

I turned over every stone kicking through my brain.
Looking for the answers to my endless questions.
Trying to grasp the rips in my emotional tether.
Thinking up a million ways in which we could have been together.

I've got a perspective with ten thousand ends to this story.
And in all of them.
There's only one which leaves me feeling weak and lonely.
The one in which I keep my feelings to myself only.

I've gotta find some power and some resolve.
To do the things that make me whole.
I don't want to look back on my life in regret.
Forced to blame others like they stole.

Because to own up to it is just too painful.
That I had never learned.
To be strong and to speak with definition.
This is my minds extradition.

For the all the injustices to the heart.
For holding me back with a cloudy judgment.
Useless thoughts from the start.
This is the abandonment.

I'm not crazy.
It's just imperative I let you know.
I enjoy each nanosecond we share.
Value every half, full and over the top smile you shoot my way.

You see I've searched the world.
And you're a gorgeous singularity.
That beaming personality,
brings me to my knees singlehandedly.

You were right when we talked about regret.
Live how you need to - ask for forgiveness later.
So don't hate me now.  

Because I'm telling you, somehow you mean a lot to me.
I like you and I'm probably just another guy you're being too nice to.
But I feel like this chemistry might be more solid than physics.

I'm a realistic person with an emotional soul.
I know me telling you this doesn't change anything in the 'now'.
I respect you far too much to make moves on your loyalty.
Because I haven't seen anything I don't like about you so far.

I know I've found a friend in you.
Someone truly special.
I just know there is potential for so much more.
In another world.

I'll lasso planets together until I find a place next to you once more.
My ever lasting perspective of you.
Whom I totally adore.

I'm not just a flirt.
When I think about you.
It doesn't just hurt.
Because you're leaving so soon.
Scared and unsure what the void will do.
Bandaids don't fix this type of wound.

I'm not just a flirt.
I've got deep feelings of compassion.
More humble than dirt.
Empathy that drowns me suddenly.
I'll be your rock in this river stream.
I'll never be too far.
Living more than a dream.

I'm not a flirt.
Drafts no one will ever see.
Passion I'll never quell.
Living with regrets.
Now that is true hell.

I tried...
But I don't know if there are the words.
In either language I know.
To describe just how special you are.
To me.

I'll keep looking...

I collapse under your presence.
Floating and drowning in one place.
Burning on the inside.
Trying to save face.

Pushing planets off axis.
Just to be close to you all year round.
With the midnight stars I'll write you.
A love letter.
So you can feel what I do now.

An imploding force.
Makes me want to cry and laugh.
Smile and despair.
You see it hurts to try and wrap my head
Around just how special you are.  

I found a best friend in you.
Seeing limitless things we could do.
I feel another string of endless smiles coming on.
You're special, and you cant tell me I'm wrong.

This wall of words now associated with poems.
Words that always half encapsulate my feelings.
Intense feelings pump my heart.
Not will power or muscle twitch.

My heart fills like a great wall of water to a void.
Suddenly I'm drowning in the moment.
Insanity caught in a loop.
Relief only in the inky paper.

Heavy hearted, sad and devoid.
The words disappear into the page and out of my heart.
Therapeutic scribblings of maddening emotions.
On the page - free of their negative erosion.

Romantic notions, love and potions.
Words that leave a fragrant underline.
Words that don't die with the moment.
A strong and true heart and mind.
Words that don't just resonate.
Their mine.

Growing ever taller and more vivid.
This wall.

What do you choose?

A shorter man that moulds his heart of gold into your every desire.
Or..
A taller man incapable of unwrapping his tin foil heart for even the most simple things you require.

Chasing dreams of perfect heights to hang a perfect wedding picture on that perfect family portrait wall.

Perfect is hard to come by, careful or you'll miss it. Looking in all the wrong places.

You might be ****, even kind...
But I care not for your ego.
I might as well be blind.

You might be interested in many things.
None of which light my fire.
A hollow heart filled with empty blings.

I live to build and design.
Practicality is so hard to find.
I want to understand the world.
Very few share my mind.

I'm simply complicated.
And there is no shortcut to my desire.
I'm after the impossible.
But that is all I require.

Sharp thrashes of wind taking my balance like waves in deep tide.
The invisible storm that ravages me,
Where does it hide?
Taken by surprise in a breathless pounding panic.
Like my worlds being vacuumed to a pin hole.
Replaced with blackness in a quick flash.
Then this?
What is this?

It feels heavy - more than immense.
I think it's positive...
But it's hard to tell - its far too intense.  
I can feel the source in the distant haze.

Each step towards grows thick and impossible.
There's nothing behind me just black.
I'll step on, following that heart splitting feeling.
There is just no going back.

In the haze something more dark.
A shape, a figure, a silhouette.
How could a person do this to me.
A feeling I'll never forget.

I can only manage to crawl.
A last breath, a last reach.
Just how far did I fall...

My hand sliced through this hazy cloak.
And there it was, as if I'd known it all along.
A woman. I could feel it in my drowned lungs.
Just a moment, a feeling, that's all it was.

A by stander in the wake of your infinitely blossomed life.
Never reaching you.

Just Watching.

I've crawled off to die in a cowards shoe.
The culmination of my efforts.
A disheveled shape held together with glue.
What push do I have left?

When I've spent all I have.

My last quarter in the gum ball machine of life.
Looking around at all the others who've given up.
Is it my time? - considering the strife.

Uni projects really take it out of you...

If only for tonight,
We'll kiss like lovers.
If only for tonight,
Meet me under the covers.

A kiss full of lustful love.
Lighting fire within my depths.
Like the sun from above.
A kiss with demanding eyes.
Pressing up against you.
From between your thighs.

If it's only for tonight.
Don't be fooled by these eyes.
Passionate more than you can handle.
The next kiss could be your demise.

If you want me for tonight.
Hold me like I'll never leave.
Nail marks down my back.
Together we'll both believe.

That this wasn't one crude mishap.
But a twist of fate.
Preposterously perfect perhaps...
Just for tonight.

Tired of these ****-girls.
Looking at me like meat.
If you've got lust in your eyes.
Then we best not meet.

If you've been taken for a ride.
We've probably sat on the same boat.
Maybe I just came off better.
But I don't intend to gloat.

I'm an indecisive man at the best of times.
I relish the moments I have true direction.
But I just can't seem to consolidate my feelings.
To bind them up and rope my way out of this one.

Every thought I have accompanies an opposing feeling.
Every choice I decide on leaves me with an unsure taste in my mouth.
How do I have confidence that fills the room and bubbles over.
But no confidence in where I'm headed.

I only wish you could reserve judgment and not be so harsh.
When I imagine my future life I don't see you in it...
Because I don't see anything but a blur.
Everything - All I am is unsure.

I am sure of it now.
That I'm the least sure of everything,
That I've ever been.

And if I close my eyes tight.
It won't change the fact that
I'll sit here until I turn green.

I've been in a depressing daze.
Rebooting a flattened soul.
Looking for comfort in all types of ways.

My mind was a maze as it were.
Now it's been blended.
And there seems to be no cure.

I am now sure!
Of a vortex inside
And nothing more.

I've put away my starry eyed gaze
Which always got me into trouble.
Losing all touch to the depths of my soul.
Stars only appear under the Hubble.


It was necessary to let you go.
But I unwound all the string,
like a kitten too eager.
I've had love and pain.
And now I have neither.

All day long I live out of body.
Just seeing flashes of a life worth living.
I see a woman I don't recognize.
But my gosh she's worth loving.

When I see you undress,
I could swear it's the first time.
When you kiss me goodbye that feeling in my chest,
knows you'll be right back.
The things we share are far beyond the physical.
We live together at the opposite end of superficial.

I spend my whole day searching for you with the scent you left on my collar.
Knowing you'll be back is never enough I need you now.
I thought I found you once.
But it was the wrong face right name.
Why does my life feel like someone elses game?

Will I ever find you when I bridge two planes.
I could exist on another plane entirely.
The way I look at you like your out of this world.

It ain't ever enough.
Just one touch.
When you loved me so hard.
Every moment feels like I'm losing you.

I'm on a ride that's forever crashing.
You take me so high.
I can't bare to get off..
But I know I can't stay on.

When your presence tears me in pieces.
I can't even breathe right.
When you kiss me.
I just can't see the light.

I give in.

In front of the altar to a new life.  
A tear drops in this perfect petal storm.
Holding my hands tight.
You glisten ever brighter - I've been reborn.

You are so exquisite - beyond imagination.
I didn't think this day would ever come.
That day we'd be together forever.
My only one.

Whispering vows into the cedar hallows.
The broken petals fall from the trees of old.
Lining a sacred future forward.
Our sea of gold.

What's the right way to say I'm emotionally unavailable.
You can't have them because they only swim in my ink.
Like a flurry of scribbled words on the back of my napkin.
All the love and pain right there.
"I need you back".

There is a realization to be had when you come to miss the feeling more than the person. When it was never about the person to begin with.

If it wasn't the person... How do I find it again?

I always fell in love too hard too fast.
I guess I let it flood out and now I've got no reserves.

I can't even force it long enough to imagine you next to me. "I don't love you."

Will I even recognize it when Its at my doorstep again.

You always hear of those people who say they are broken and think, how could you be? It's not until you find the shattered peieces hiding behind the door that you see how it really is.

I wish there was a human handbook to repair a heart. DIY heart repair.

I seem to win hearts.. But all I end up doing is resending the prize.

Don't stop tying right? I wonder how many battle fields I'll wander today...

Today I openly admit that I am an addict.
I've been Addicted to the sensation and lost in the lullaby.
I've watched my potential dwindle thin.
I've had an overwhelming desire to get clean but no drive to begin.

I've cried my nights away in a withdrawal of sorts.
I've given up on everything except my last resort.

My vice is the most expensive out there.
What does a life cost?
What does a wasted life cost?

The regrets of yesterday catch you faster than you can sleep them away.
When apathy runs deep in your veins.
Pulling at my last straw - my last tall claim.

Today I turned my life around.
Not just another nudge for me to yo-yo.
I've derived a focus and approached my limit.

I'll sweat blood until I'm free of this apathy.
A victim of my actions in this endless tragedy.


My name's Jack and I'm an addict.

How do I anticipate a love like ours.
When you've become my morning sunshine.
And you've molded my desire irrevocably.
How do you spread me so thin and build me up all at once?
How do you see the pauses between my heart beat and know what it needs before I?
If the essence of life is to love and be loved. Then perhaps we are rewriting it from the beginning in our own image.
You are somewhere beyond the limits of extraordinary.
That place just before your smile becomes a laugh.

How do you describe and appreciate something that can't be measured only observed.

In our cataclysm of hearts.

I don't know what to write anymore.
But I can't stop thinking about flickers of your lips
and splatters of your touch.
When the rain pours just for you.
Something has to flow.
When water runs over your shoulders and down the drain
like the wisdom of the world.

In the brevity of your light I stole a slice of the sun for my own.
Lying deep inside a dormant orbit.

As the rain begins to weigh you down like the gravity of Jupiter.
My light, my love will be all yours.

Lay with me and tonight we'll steal the moon once more.

I never mastered the grind.
That won every girls affection.
I guess it's really quite difficult.
When you become your own deflection.

Once I was that nineteen year old.
Drunk and disorderly.
Grinding on your back.
You got bored of me.

Sure its fun - for both it seems.
Sometimes it's a horrid match.
A silly game with an undefined winner.
Sometimes it's all you need to land your catch.

But as you grow you see things clearly.
The smoke machined air thins and the lights begin to brighten.
You see the complexity of your dilemma.
You've assumed you'd get it all - what a great big error.

You want the beauty you've desired night long.
But you've gone about it all wrong.
You want the companion most never find.
But will she see it or remain blind.

It seems one is possible.

Where do I go to be one whole person?

The only way to describe your presence, is like I've been emptied of everything obsolete and negative. And at the end of my void a pure injection of your will and passion. Like I'm completely empty but somehow overflowing with joy. Where weightlessness meets completeness. That place you know every moment spent here might just be the point of it all.

Forever admiring your every fibre and repeating like it were all brand new. The only space I could ever exist is in this one where our dream never ends and your smile always shines brighter for me.

Every morning I want to wake with you on my mind. But more than that I want to roll over and see you with my eyes.

That moment when you know your that person's everything. The moment you catch a flicker in their eye lids. Your her everything when she expects you to be right where you are. When coming out of a dream and seeing your face doesn't feel as though the dream has ended. A new dream begins.

That's how you make me feel every morning when you wake me up. With the silly noises you make in my ear. I pretend I don't hear them - just to enjoy the moment a fraction longer before moving on to the next. If I could savour any moment more than another.

I'd want to wake up with you - forever.

Through the spitting flames that line my soul, I see a fragment of myself that harbors murderous intent. A hostile takeover to strip me of my weakness. Like an illness to the passion of life. This fragment wants to be in control. I want it to take over and propel me forward with ambition. But it hasn't. Does that mean there is another image in the flames? The one in control, if not me.

Looking back at my past relationships I see every wrong move. A comment that I overlooked. A moment I should have fiercely objected. A love that I only ever wished to see protected. In the end it was little more than a backfire that brought me to my knees.

I'm always too nice. Did i expect my relationship to be exempt from human nature's cruelty or did I assume I could only pick someone worthy of my love.
Oh how I've been wrong.

Hindsight comes like a cracking sensation and a numbing Beat. In plain sight you can see all the wrongs with no hope of ever correcting them. Future endeavors carry tarnished and thickened heart beats.

Gorging ones self on new love serves only to feed an insatiable appetite. When your hopes have been deleted and your past trashed. Viruses riddle your mind to a muddy vision of what once was. Nothing seems right anymore. Destined only to hurt the ones who care. The ones lending their hearts to share.

I meet the love of my life everyday. She's that girl I met at the shops; at the bar ordering a cocktail for three; on the street giving change to a homeless man. Last week I met her filling up that Diahatsu. It might as well have been a Lamborghini or a rocketship. None of it made sense but her.

She's nothing special wrapped inside everything I've ever dreamed of. She's the vision I catch a glimpse of when I imagine what it's like to be happy. The endless collapsing of short lived memories. Voids filling with the putty of a tender fantasy. If I could grab you and share my reality. If I could explain my mind in words that made me sound sane. If only that worked.

The undead surge endlessly.
Drained and muddied will.
Holding them back with everything left.
Delightful blood they've come to spill.

Barracading the doors - only surrounds.
Moans and groans dauntingly loud.
Sleepless nights hoping they don't breach.
The scariest thing is how they sound.

We thought they weren't real.
Just comic book stories.
But when they came knocking.
The first to go was four-eyes.

All the horror movies.
Won't leave you prepared.
To face to undead horde.
Brains aren't meant to be shared.

I guess this is how it happens.
When you lose your heart it just finds new legs.
She's walking around with my heart in a box.
She just won't give it up even if I beg.

No wonder I can't find new loves.
Thought the switch was gone.
As soon as it comes it goes.
An empty spot where my heart was keeps me alone.

I can't fill up what I don't have.
I want more but it doesn't feel right.
Emptiness that finds me an early grave.
I want my heart back give up this spite.

I need a heart transplant.
To feel love one more time.
Something so simple won't you grant.
Emptiness un-befitting in my prime.

I need a heart transplant.

I woke up today.
In a myriad of broke dreams.
Ones where nothing ever gets better.
Or so it seemed.

I could have been lost forever.
Fighting helplessly in a world of my own making.
But you made it to me and together.
We shared a moment that leaves me shaking.

A face I know so well.
And yet I've missed so long.
Your glimpse between the broken shards.
How could this be wrong.

I woke up with you on my mind.
I felt so empty in a way.
Like if you were here I'd be just fine.
Even though where you are you should stay.

I can't help my thoughts.
Seeping from my dreams.
They aren't real, but what they've brought.
Floating on my conscious seam.

You're on my mind you should know.
Even though I don't put in the effort.
Nor do I put on the show.
You should know.