My life consist of complex inginueity striving to be original but molding to the harshness of what the world is doing to me. Am i wrong for contemplating my lifes decisions. Because this isnt the way things where suppost to come out in my own depiction on the out come of my life. Maybe its my thoughts that are making me insane since i constanly think all i am is trash but theres a saying one persons trash is another treasure not sure if weather to believe it or not because woman come and go i just dont measure up to the dream guy. Maybe its my icebox heart that lets them see the coldness in my eyes gazing into theres filling false hopes of prosper and love each seem to be lies. Just to watch them break down in tears with no remorse when i see them cry since id rather not catch feelings being to scared to see where true love coulf take me honestly i dont know why. Im screaming in rage from the inside like im traped in a four corner room staring at walls hyperventilating unable to get out im balled up feeling trapped im at a loss. Maybe you the reader cant understand what i mean maybe you can i feel like my life has been a bunch of ups and downs more downs then ups i was just a accidental nut that swam into the womb since my fathers pull out game wasnt fast enough now im stuck with the harsh reality of a cold world that beats me down after i get back up when will enough be enough maybe i need to find love and stop trying to hide the void wheres my diamond in the rough maybe I'm thinking again to much enough is enough
In between seconds and minutes,
Lies an infinity of words we wished to say
Are we going to leave it to the winds,
To deliver our hearts messages?
An instant connection, we feel it resonates
Our eyes gave us away, screaming for attention, affection
All the gravity in the universe
Is pulling us towards each other
You feel it too, are you listening?
Will you walk through the storm of fate,
That will lead us into each others embrace?
I am listening, I will..
That one stare and you know that there is an instant connection..
Raw. First draft. I don't know where it should go.. i just feel the urge to write this.
I got sick of comparing you to drugs
that did no justice to the high I felt each time you held me
and juxtaposing ,
you to a sunset was bullshit
I feared I could not capture all your colors in words
what the fuck do I compare you to?
You swallowed me whole and let me crumble in front of you,
you digested me until you were sick and spit me out like dip,
I got sick of comparing you to songs,
I didn't want you stuck in my head anymore
and juxtaposing you to shattered glass didn't pick up the pieces on the floor from when I could not articulate the hurt in my heart and
threw all the god damn picture frames against the plaster wall,
I got sick of comparing you to a missed phone call,
because at least then you'd give me enough attention to ignore it,
juxtaposing you to the sunset was bullshit because you never stuck around long enough to really sink in
Were you ever in a random place.
Looking for something, yet. Looking for nothing?
Have you ever walked a random path in which no one was walking.
Looking for something, yet. Looking for nothing.
Then you stop randomly walking down this random path in this random place...
To tell this random person a random thing.
"YOU. ARE. BEAUTIFUL.
I BELIEVE IN YOU.
BECAUSE YOU. HAVE CHANGED THIS WORLD.
BECAUSE YOU, DECIDED TO WALK THIS RANDOM PATH."
He told me this and I believed him without a second guess. Because I felt like I was wanted in this world. I didn't think I was something. But
I knew that I was nothing in a world filled with talented souls. I didn't think anyone care.
But, he did.
for three years you were my knight,
night took over and flooded my castle but you fought him off
with great chivalry, with cunning words you lied to me
to insinuate safety
but I don't need that anymore.
for three years you were the beast,
who I defended my kingdom from,
at last I have won against the forces that threatened me,
I don't need you anymore.
When you sent a message and begged of my hand,
chills broke my silence, weakened my stand.
For a minute, maybe, I wanted to say yes,
I blushed at the thought of reuniting and bliss,
but I walked outside alone to say no,
and realized there that I had built a moat.
It surrounded my kindgom, with great width and more depth,
and it was filled with water from tears that I'd wept
every time you came back and then left,
and while you shined in the moonlight, I felt weary in the knees,
but learned that you were my night and with you I can't see
I am the moon, I am my own god damn fucking light,
I'm not a last resort when you can't sleep at night
so I said no.
Because I don't need you anymore.
I won't be there ever again when you come to knock down my door.
It's so hard to put your faith on someone when it just doesn't hit you
Or simply believe in their ever so charming words
Because what else does a lie look like if not pretty?
They could be laughing in their hearts as they softly stab you in the back, without you realizing
Crack you'll break, little girl, you'll break so much