He asked me.....

*How could I be so cold?
I cried a snowflake,
while starring into his soul.

At night
few things enter my head
one is you
another me
third is my bed
two are present
you are absent
your dark face
I do not see
show up beautiful monster
come from that closet
furfill my fantasy

Love can only exists in those
whose hearts have space.

you see, I was born empty
so love can reside in me.

but I have a hole and it always spills
so only for a second can I feel.

Cigarettes,

cancer is realer
than a white skinny killer
they are not a joke
they burn her throat
guess she likes to choke.

Life slips away with every puff
every ****,
but she give no f*
she happily tastes death
in every breathe.

like the sun
and the moon

I am gone to soon.

like the stars
and the sky

I am much to high.

Like the earth herself,
I am too unsteady.

I will soon die,
hope the universe is ready.

And the days have become long
Fast world
Fast talkers
A girl has become grown.

And the days have become long
Fragile body
Fragile mind
Soul has become strong.

And the days have become long
Need of a friend
Need of a savoir
Good people are gone.

And the days have become long
Please return brother
I’ve grown weary in doing right
This route called life has proven to be a turn wrong.

The forehead
Is from a protective lover, who will secure you until you're dead

The cheek
Is from a sensual lover, one that is meek

The lips
Is from one who lacks control, a ***** one on the go

The hand
Is from one who wants nothing more than for you to understand

The feet
Is from one who worships the ground you walk on; your filth they'll eat

Then there are people like me
Who will kiss every inch of a lovers body that my greedy eyes can see

look at me good
don't get this misunderstood

we are not same
I am not here to entertain

we are different -----is all I can say
and that is okay

at 25 I wait to die
family and friends are worried,
they ask me why?
teardrops have run dry
frozen emotion won't let me cry
I say I'll try
but that's a lie
so long my loves
this is bye. bye. bye.
lord have mercy
my. my. my

I've been this way for so long
I never knew it was wrong
nobody cared,
concerns were not shared
so a ***** up I became,
But now I'm older
worries of my reputation,
trying to give some deep meaning to my name
while trying to master this ******* life game
even then still, I'm such a freaking mess!
I'm such a sad shame.

I remember you hugging me
as I inhaled the scent of masculine cologne
you didn't want to leave
and I did not want to sleep alone.

I remember you making me laugh
as I held my stomach like a small child
I wanted that moment forever
my cheeks hurt afterwards for a long while.

I remember you calling me 100 times a day
checking on me no matter how close,
no matter how far away,
you pleasured me often, I always wanted to stay.

but adolescent rules I had to obey.
a child I was and what we were doing seemed okay.
Now at night I think of you all,
rain in my heart, in my puddle of memories

I drown in our sorrow, I hopelessly lay.

I'm afraid
But you'll never know.

I'm not happy
But it'll never show.

I wish you'd runaway with me
But you'll never go.

Today you will get this letter
Although I wrote it years ago.

who are you?

I search the darkness of my mind
memories over time
depths of the deep sea blue

I have no clue.

I am blind
and do not see
the girl in the mirror
who stares back at me.

I am not she.

on my tombstone
it shall read
a stranger
who was everything people
wanted her to be.

Even in death,
that is not me.

Uncertainty has become my enemy,
insecurity I wore until the end----- beautifully.

Every kiss begins with K
the initial of your first name
I whisper it slowly,
doesn't quite sound the same.

Power plays, *** filled days
A cheap thrill one might say
midnight drives, moonlit eyes
seductive melodies of ******* cries.

Every kiss begins with K
yet nothing from your lips was ever real.
Even if I wanted to say your name,
the sensation will never hold the same feel.

Life is that crazy girlfriend
who you'll never trust
She's never satisfied,
and you're not always up for a rush.

Life is that insecure boyfriend
who wants you to stay by his side to the very end
but you've got places to see
he doesn't understand where you've been.

Life is a that mother,
who'll you always want to please
only to realize you have to be you
and meet your own needs.

Life is that dad, that many of us never had
confused emotions, happy and sad
life was a female dog, cute
but deadly when mad.

I look in the crowd
looking for someone to blame
in the distance I hear my name.

I look in my puddle of tears
drowning out the picture of who I should be
but in that mirror,
something shocking I see:
A  sad girl whose made bad choices in life
pointing the finger right at ME.

Still waters may run deep
But sometimes
Down the creek
Appears a crack
And that same water
Eventually
Seeps.

the death of a artist
is as mysterious as
Mona Lisa's smile
they rise against
life leaving many
wondering how?
misunderstood while alive
praised in death as their admirers
beautifully cry.

I've wasted so much time,
living life, walking blind.

I've wasted too many years,
dehydrated from so many lost tears.

Exposing myself to different harm,
I've been foolish since I was born.

But now the change is taking place,
and no matter what I must finish the race.

I remember sitting next to you
butterflies inside
as you sat there mad

I recall apologizing
for my bad behavior
wishing for a savoir

I remembering kissing your cheek
hoping that would make things right
but our love never returned, out of sight

Love is patient
Love is kind

boys are precious
but I admire time

Love is patient
Love is kind

I aways wait  too long
for wonders and signs

Love is patient
Love is kind*

between my thighs is a slow burn
with a impulsive mind

I need love, but I lack patience
and I want to get mine...

He seemed so big and bad
but I knew better
I recognized this
one emotion he had
it was familiar,
it was sad.

At that moment,
I lay on his chest
and for once he was quiet,
for once I was at rest,
In each others arms we lay,
a young vulnerable mess.

Only if love was limitless
Would I cross it's borders
Blurred lines of bliss
Chasing unicorns and rainbows
To taste your kiss.

In reality, it's you I miss
Instead I am a prisoner of fantasy
Enslaved to a restricted affair
If I escaped this world, would you still care?

In the next lifetime will you follow?
Could you want me there?
Because if it was up to me,
I'd Have you Any time. Any place. Anywhere.

Being black is a heart attack
Being woman is the blues.
Being black is a stroke.  
Being woman is to play sleep by acting woke.
Being woman is hard and being black is trouble.....
But let me chew first, before you burst my bubbles.

love and laughter we enjoy now
this will end, I'm sure how.

bodies we shared
bed defiled.

the game wasn't fair
too many fouls.

when it's over I'll die inside
but flash a smile.

then I'll apologize
and take a bow.

if the good die young,
why am I still here?

Maybe I am dead
just haven't accepted it,
must be fear.

if the good die young,
why do I feel old?
wrinkles in my face made of gold.

I was a queen before
a servant now,
life is one sick chore.

life in the winter
is much simpler.

I cheated in July
then told a lie.

the summer is hot
but for your *** is hotter.

but I'm dumb in lust,
and in love you're smarter.

love does
not always
reciprocate
but never
replace it with
hate

There's war inside her head.

Somebody lost,

because she's dead.

I want you to know
I tried my best.
Heart couldn't settle,
Mind wouldn't rest.

Angels and demons
Lived in my flesh.
Jealous of birds,
Able to leave their nest.

I want you know,
Next time will be better.
I'm probably gone
If you receive this letter.

the sun will be back soon

til' then I'll watch the stars smile, the sky cry, and the

moody *moon

a pleasant smile on your face
made me wonder
how sweet you might taste---
passionate poetry inside your mouth
only then would you feel the words
I often speak about.

I wanted to seal the deal
let you know, a dreamer,
that this was real.
I was a angel in flesh
here to give your heart a rest.
Then one day you gave me a test.

You came over,
lust and anxiety on my shoulders
I tried to relax, I inched closer
I touched you nice and slow,
my heartbeat started to grow,
seeing how far I could go
but confidence is something I do not know.

the eyes tell the story,
that nobody wants to tell.

smiles lie,
the truth they hide well.

the eyes never go empty,
there is no dry spell.

smiles never pass tests,
they always fail.

I break hearts by default.

I seek them. I find them. Devour them.

Then spit them out on paper.

I wipe my mouth, and roam cupids landing for more inspiration.

I'm forever this villain.

Accusations, I'm always facing.

why did I grow up so fast?
to have responsibilities beat my ***.
why did I skip class?
to only cheat life and still come in last.
why did I rush my youth?
only my childhood knows the truth.

love is
something about you
promises I want to make true
come closer
let me show what I can do
like treat you right
tell me, could I be your wife?
cook, clean, please you in many ways
laugh at the cute stuff you say
if not, I'll still be loving you
forever and a day.

I waste so much time
it should be crime.
hole in pockets
I'm worth a dime.
social media to watch others shine.
I need a hobby that pays,
I'm not lying.

Today I saw my love &
cupid paralyzed my face
with a arrow in my neck from high above.

now I sit here smiling.
now I'm stuck.

but,
this moment is everything;
this feeling is perfect enough.

If only the rain
could cleanse
my pain.

Wash away
the tears from
my face and heart.

The bruises
and blood
that stained me from the start.

eye smile
replaying your laugh
like a angels song

eye smile
missing your touch
now since it's gone

eye smile
picturing those windows of gold
for a night, your heart you let me hold

now eye wanna cry
remembering how you left me
without saying *good-bye

pretty when u cry

beautiful when u die

your eyes roll when I sigh

begging and pleading; I try

I fell in love with your hi

but you still broke my heart

with a lovely goodbye

I fell in love with the light in your eyes

I'm dead and dark inside
my heart is not warm blooded
but cold, with icy cries
lonely tears, that your love
did not protect against my fears
because you didn't have the time
and I didn't have the years

now I sit in a dim corner
half past midnight
reminiscing the lover I lost
the thief of light

my last crush was a Virgo,
no Angel but you gave me wings,
no musician but when you spoke,
I heart the sweetest birds sing.

You gave me hope,
to be who I was,
confused, deranged, and all
5'4 but you made me feel tall.

Then I got all crazy as I usually get
and you said enough,
you said that was it.
And like those before you...

you gave up on me,
you quit!
Now I'm like a ****** addict
when I think of you, I itch.

I wanted to see you smile a little more bit,
kisses, gifts, and picnics
at the park, romance and silly sh^t
it never happened, it was never meant.

It's all over because you're
a selfish little b^tch!
Cheers to you A-Hole,
and your zero tolerance temperament.

Every night I tuck my demons in tight
Warm and cozy, they hold me just right
Tears from the day fall from my face
My demons are friendly,
As they wipe them away.

Once they are sound asleep,
I creep down to pray.
Hoping they leave, I can't afford for them to stay.

I awake to find them long gone..
I rejoice!! But then I remember,
They will always find their way home.