I always thought when I found true love
my problems would go away
so I accumulated crushes
but the problems kept coming day by day
the issues never left
and those lovers never stayed
maybe I've been doing this love thing the wrong way
but I'll keep at love
because being broken is never okay.

I hope she's happy
because I was not.

I hope she's honest
because I was not.

I hope she's sincere
because I was not.

I hope he understands her
I hope he respects her

I hope he values her
I hope he loves her

because he was unable
to do these things for me

three years of nothing
I sacrificed everything!

It takes two
to make a wrong.

but she has you
and I'm alone.

he left me
moved right along.

On Life support...
Greedy, I keep on breathing.
But, life is faster,
she keeps on leaving.

Heart keeps beating..
Like someone cares!
Where was this energy,
with the love I tried to share?

I'm losing and for once,
I don't care to win.
Do me a favor,
don't let me be BORN again...

I always compromise when I’m lonely

In the beds of strangers,

hopeful that someone can love me.

Many see I'm broken beautifully.

Some think I’m art; crafted delicately.

Others say; dangerous, sad, and extreme!

but they'll willingly be that drug I so desperately need.

temptation knows me by name
she calls me clearly,
I know what she's saying.

she sings pretty melodies
attempting to lure me away from family
but I play blind, her tricks I refuse to see.

back against the wall,
I'm cornered, compromised...
I scream "what do you from me?"

with a smirk,
she says, this is where I ought to be
defeated by dark magic, I become *we

Dating many men
Around town
Down for the *****
Denying that *** without love hurts me but,
Y**ou only live once

right dad?

afraid to look into your eyes
I might just see your soul
afraid of intimacy
my secrets you will know

either way

something will happen
that was not intended
love is blind;
so don't be offended

There is no feeling worse
than dying slowly
and being unable
to save yourself
no rescue, no help.

my soul cries aloud
screams stretch for miles
still no one hears
I'll eventually
drown in my tears.

I look at my photos,
sometimes I see his face.

I close my eyes in fear,
Hoping to go to safer place.

There's no escaping those devilish eyes.
I've inherited this monster; soul ties.

Without love I'd die
even when it's bad
even when it makes me cry.

Without ***
I feel undesirable
my body seems useless.

This way of living has caused
my heart, soul, and spirit much pain.
Yet, love is never lost,

*only shame is gained.

Bad for my health
Worse for my recovery
I beg you, never let go of me.

The hold of black smoke
Smothers me. I choke
Release me. Heart trapped.

I promise not to relapse.

You left a child alone
First she felt weak
But now she's strong

So fragile as any child
Anger grew in her a long while
I recognize her pained smile

You left me alone
For far too long
My demons have grown

That innocent child is gone.

the more he saves me
      with his help
the more I feel
          indebted.

Don't listen to a word I say
because my feelings change day to day

Like when I want you to leave
but I really need you to stay....

please tell you need me
even if it's a lie.

tell me your adore my personality
although I can be shy.

tell you'll be there
until the day I die.

tell me you believe in love at first sight
because you had me at "hi".

at darkness
we play games
like husband and wife

I give you heaven
you bring me hell
but I won't dare tell

a few seconds of bliss
I no longer want to be touched
I am now sickened by your kiss

you were no gentleman
but when you see me out
please call me MS.

She never feels apart
until her legs are far apart.

she never belongs
until her body is strecthed out long.

she never wants company
until it is gone.

heart is where the home...
strangers break in with sticks and stones.

she never feels all there
until her love has has it's fair share.

unconsciously *** and love has become a chore
reckless routine of a foolish little *****.

it's like being that kid
at a candy store
they smile at me,
I flirt more
flatter them until
my mouth is sore.

it's like hide in seek
in the dark
not knowing whether you'll find
a teddy bear or shark
afraid is my heart.

I keep driving down dead ends
I keep swimming in sin,
I keep seeking out men,
yet I find no one, nothing,
not even a friend.

I can take a punch
an insult
a offense
but my life makes no sense.

I can handle heartbreak
but loneliness I can not take
7 billion humans on earth
and solitude is my fate.

I write poetry about people
For whom I've become obsessed.

Only to obsess about poetry
Now, I have no rest.

Not sure if he's really crazy
or dangerously hot.

I crave him sometimes,
most times, not.

I fall in lust often
love? not alot.

I was prepared for the chase,
but nobody warned against the caught.

To he whose will is strong and might,*

No vision is brighter
than the one
found in the darkness of night!

No longer shall you be blind
unable to see your life
but your eyes shall open
to see his precious gift of light!

I was drugged by romance
but woke up in reality

I was ***** by lust,
and woke up afraid. Who to trust?

I died the death, many of us dream of
a silly young girl, believing in *real love

forever on the run,

so many places to escape to under the sun.

forever on the run,

Heaven awaits me

I'm dying to come.

Some days I feel so close
you feel like my skin.
Some days I feel so far
our distance will never end.

hugs, kisses, & kind words
don't reach your heart within.
I still try, aiming high despite
failing and missing over & again.

I apologize to my lovers & kin
sorry for now and back when,
I couldn't love you like I desired
because of this human sin.

my heart cries out, telling me it's too late.
I ignore her.
heartbreaks, I can no longer take.

she continues to broadcast my mistakes,
my eyes burn with regret
she know how to make me upset.

punishment is my mind
suffocating me for all the wasted time.
soon, I too am crying.

there after, I am dying
7 minutes of life before me
before I begin flying.

*brighter the sun begins to shine
love and procrastination
was my only crime.

I want to stare into your eyes
Until I go blind...

Blinded by the light
That is love.

A love so deep
I can never reach the end with my feet...

Atlas, I want to kiss your lips
Everywhere you go, you take my scent...

Feel these words to see what my heart meant...

when the poetry stops
so does my life clock

when poetry ends
thats where death begins

poetry is my purpose
I do believe...

when I'm gone,
poetic gifts of love I'll leave.

sometimes I imagine myself
in a gold casket
pretty as ever
dressed in black
eternally sleep
from a heart attack.

without inspiration
I AM DEAD.

without admiration
I AM LONELY.

without art
I AM NUMB.

without love
I AM NOTHING.

with poetry
I AM EVERYTHING!

During the day I try to act as if it's not true

Night comes, my mind wanders, and it always finds you

My insides burn with passion, hot flashes of things we should do

be patient with my skills, this task is still new

but soon, my worries will become few

Once you fall in my arms, caught up in love *too

I
will
never
stop
crawling
my
way
out
of
HELL

with you
I was searching for fire
someone to admire

In me you found a beautiful liar,
and you were the prettiest dead flower

with you
I was looking for magic
instead I found someone so tragic.

with you
I found gold under a rainbow

but a love as deep as the ocean
I still did not know.

so I refused to follow.
hesitant of heartbreak as I passed GO.

I wanted you close
but I pushed you away.

I wanted you forever
but you didn't stay.

I wanted to love you,
but broke your heart.

I warned you I was trouble from the start.

I wanted this love to never end
but it was over, before it began.

The things I desired most
were nothing but a joke.

For you to accept my faulty love was my only hope.

abandonment sleeps alone in my heart
but only a few inches away are we apart.

my heart beats sickly
it was ill from the very start.

with each breath it thumps
in my throat are lumps.

butterflies choke me as I try to speak
out the corner of my eye, I peek.

waiting for you to kiss me makes me want to hurl,
because I talk big, but I am still a shy little girl.

But bad boys, lust, and love,
are my only sins in this dark lonely world.

To go unnoticed for so long
makes you think it won't be so wrong,
to disappear, to be gone.

To be alive and feel dead
makes life seem strange
inside your head.

To hear you're loved
but feel the opposite
makes you feel not meant.

Time wasted,
energy spent
people you begin to resent.

they say let it go
but it's difficult
when it's the only life you know.

choas was my childhood friend
I would always pray for our toxic relationship to one day end
now it's over, and I wish it could begin again.
teach me different lessons, give me wisdom
to avoid future grown up sins.

when my words are lost
like my weary soul
with nothing left to say
I part my lips
and pray!

because I looked
for love in all the wrong places
I found you.

because I was decieved
by handsome faces
I saw you.

because he broke
my heart
in two,

with a smile
kind words
and hugs as glue,

you put me back together
but I'm forever clumsy
because I fell for you.

his touch
I wish was yours.
his kiss
I desire no more.
his skin
I want to end.
your body
I want to let in.
look at me,
I'll show you where to begin.
close those eyes,
prepare to sin.
let me take you to paradise
since you've never been.

your face has become a flame
burning my lips when I speak your name.

your touch was no longer nice
choking me like spice.

your scent is no longer missed
like your salty kiss.

I'm done being your little freak,
now I'll spite you like a poetry creep.

your ocean wasn't even that deep
although I enjoyed riding that wave.

you, my love.... I no longer crave
in fact I've taught temptation how to behave.

lust has become my job
its makes me sing
as sin makes me sob.

for love, bodies I rob
hit after hit
I belong to the mob.

lust has become a game
not playing is crazy
the end is truly insane.

A beautiful beast
they all want to tame
all for fun, all for fame.