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Carter Ginter Apr 2015
I won't fall in love with you for the way your hair cascades your shoulders
I won't get hooked on the way your body sways when you walk
And I won't focus on the small flaws that society highlights every day

I am not your average person
I'm an *******, a ****
Sometimes I don't think ahead
I've gotten myself into unsettling situations
And I tend to be self-destructive

But love terrifies me, it intimidates my self control
Because when I fall in love with you
It will be with the way your eyes glow when you speak
The beautiful chime of your voice when you answer the phone
The way my arms fit perfectly around you as you lean into me

I'll fall in love with the way we understand one another
And with the fear that consumes me
As I contemplate why someone as wonderful as you
Whose "flaws" I'll fall more in love with every day
Chose my broken soul
To make you feel whole.
kmr Jan 28
I sit on the rooftop
Not two feet away from the edge.
Not two feet away from a release
So sweet
I can taste candy
On my tongue.
From the Siren’s song
Playing in my head
So clearly
That I hum along.
I feel temptation’s kiss
On my lips –
So soft
Softer than any man before.
But even as I look down
At the concrete and grass below
That beckons me closer
Into their warm embrace –
I turn away.
Because the unknown
After that leap
Terrifies me more
Than tomorrow
Or the day after that.
This may be a little triggering for some people, I appologize if it is.
Carter Ginter Aug 2017
These underlying thoughts choke me
telling me that I should **** myself
They drip into my lungs like acid
I breathe to stay alive and it
only makes living hurt worse
I’ve thought about loneliness
and it terrifies me beyond control
because though I seem on my own
these voices don’t let me go
Screaming **** yourself
You’re not good enough
they beg me to be alone
With no one around
they’re free to scream
day and night
And if no one else is near
How could anyone really miss me?
elizabeth Mar 2018
i miss you all the time, and i hate that you don't seem to care.
your hair is changed, and i think your personality is quite altered too. you no longer seem like the person i once called the love of my life.
it hurts that you changed everything about yourself. you're practically unrecognizable now. when i see you walking, my heart beats faster, but not out of excitement. out of fear that seeing me doesn't affect you the way it affects me. it terrifies me that you're so easily moving on from me, that you could modify all the pieces of yourself that i loved, that i was just a blip on your radar, and that, one day, you'll look back and barely remember me. i ache to be remembered. you are constantly on my mind, and i know that i'm not on yours. i wish that i had hurt you the way you hurt me so that you would constantly be reminded of me when you look down and see the aching, stitched up scar on your heart. but i was kind, and i let you leave. i miss you all the time, but i know you don't miss me.
Zane Sep 2016
you boarded my ship when it was sinking so fast
i was so very certain you'd drown with it.
time passes
and i find my vessel mended more and more each day

i've been taught most of my life
to fear stability;
for it seemed as if instability, however dangerous
was more desirable that fleeting stability

but now that i find the earthquakes have begun
to decrease in intensity
ever so slowly

i am still left to ask
is this forever?
have i found that which i've been longing for ages to find?

it terrifies me so, but fills me with what i can only surmise is that which i dreamt about as a child

security. home. a chance at peace.

i wake from sleep, to remember dreams of our adventures
i wake from sleep, to be for, if only once, hopeful about the future
i wake from sleep, to know that i find solace in another
i wake from sleep, to that i am loved, as much as i love

i wake from sleep, to know that one day, when the storms have subsided, you will be there, holding my hand, as I walk up the final hill of my lifelong struggle.
mal frost Apr 12
11 pm
weary after a day of work
i sip some chamomile
and lie in bed
tonight will be different

4:40 am
the summer's impending blessing of light
terrifies me
as I watch the moonlight drown
in a brightening sky

5:30 am
any second now,
I still have time
but the chirps and tweets of the early bird
put out the last light of hope.

tonight will be different.
the morning songs of bird carry with them a finality to those who cannot sleep- better luck next time
It terrifies me
The very simple thought
Of fading away in your memories
Like that bad sticky song
That played all summer long
And now you can hardly recall a verse
Say I'll become a classic
A darkness so vast and frightening
So consuming and suffocating
It terrifies me
SilentAce May 2016
I finally understand why I've changed again.
Two years ago, I had put all my life info my little brother.
Two years ago he was my only reason to keep living.
For the last two years I've been alone.
And I thought I was okay
But I think I’ve just been searching for a reason to keep breathing again.
To fill that role in my life again.
So dying could wait.

But now I feel different
I'm alive again
And I want things I never knew I wanted.
A love so deep, marriage, maybe even children.
Things that used to mean nothing to me.
Things I crave with such an intensity now it terrifies me.
And I think it's because I need something to live for again. No. I know it’s because I need a reason.
Amyrah Jun 8
It was never the night that scared me,
The trees hold the darkness,
that terrifies me.
Nothing is scary by itself. The by factors, aid the element of fear
Anonymous Freak Oct 2018
The flowers were a dizzying kaleidoscope
Of orange,
And purple,
The wine glasses glittered in the lowlight
Easily distracting my eye,
Tempting my mind into a past memory with candlelight and soft touches.

My father commanded the room.
His voice still makes me feel sick
When I hear the beginning of frustration in it.
I begin to cower inside
Whenever his tone is stressed,
I think of him hitting my mother.
It disgusts me that he prayed a blessing over a brand new marriage.

As we bowed our heads in polite resignation,
And I felt alone again...
Cast away by a father who terrifies me,
And again,
By a lover
Who found me too overwhelming.
I listened to the nightmare of my childhood’s voice drone on,
Addressing God,
And the beautiful flowers and gowns faded away
To lonely darkness.

Pulling me from a fearful stupor,
My little sister’s hand
Held my own,
we laced our fingers together
Under the pure white table cloth,
Squeezing gently.
The words coming from the lips
Of the man who induced my first trauma,
And the memory of the man I missed so much,
Were cleared from my mind;
And all that remained
Were the words of my sister,
“What do I always say? I love you more than any boy ever could.”
The truth terrifies my human mind
Beyond the ties that bind...
Time stood still
And everything became blur
I was absent but stood I right there
Lost in deep thought,
Contemplating how
Dad left first
And then you followed
A candle blown upon by the wind
Our supplication ignored
A future denied and tears shed
Dreams shuttered by a boulder of sorrow
and a flower wilting, slowly dying
Uprooted and left to dry
Dyeing our hearts with depression...
Relentless thoughts creeping in my head
Like maggots crawling on a decaying carcass
If pain was a color what would it be?
When soaked would it fade
Like darkness every dawn.
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