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Zara rain Feb 14
It’s like suddenly being sieged
by black water holding you down,
with one fist around your breast
and another shackling your rest.
So when you finally give in to suffocation.
Smothering screams of molestation.
Crows pecking your burning mind
while you crouch by the window,
waiting for dawn to rush in
and save the day.

Your door is bolted with iron locks
shutting out persistent, saintly knocks.
But your window on the seventh floor
knows the allure of breaking apart.
Letting you try unseelie wings:
freedom without heartstrings.
So why does that sobbing ghost,
pleading by your locked door,
still hold enough ectoplasm
to keep your body safe
but your mind insane?
In memory of a lost soul
Zara rain Jun 2019
It is written in the runes
unveiled by the maypole ******.
When the darkest kiss
meets the storm of light
on a midsummer’s night.

The sisterhood has gathered.
Fog and dew, euphoric moves.
Chanting, flaunting ivory skin.
Feel the pull of our dance
the taunting of our calls.

Baccanal cries of ******.
Bringing down the silver tears
of falling stars to heal, to still
the wounded souls, the lost
with a swill of magic dew.

Moon daisy,
Count the number,
hold your tongue.
Catchfly and Baby’s breath
say naught to no one
keep the faith.
my steadfast knight.
Bluebell and yes,

Gathered by the crossroad
of yesterdays and tomorrows.
Gentle flowers sacralized
s e v e n for the magic number
to seal the vow eternally
of my love everlasting.

Too soon the dawn will break.
Hurry do the last of spells.
Hop over n i n e fences
kirtle tied around my waist.
Don’t look, don’t speak
just hold my breath.

No time for sleep, not yet
I mustn’t forget the rite itself,
that will grant my dreams to unveil.
What’s written in the future
s e v e n blooms under my pillow.
and finally I’ll see...
...the one
It’s tradition to post this not this day or night... Originally from June  2012, the night before my birthday. For the not initiated, just know that Swedes take their Midsummer rites very seriously.
  Sep 2018 Zara rain


side of the


reminds me

of a poem

gone largely

Zara rain Aug 2018
Did you whisper a prayer before the roar of the inevitable end?
Should we have listened harder,
held you closer,
and tried so very much more
to persuade your troubled mind
not to let go?

I don't know.

You, in all your lightness
held me so convincingly
in oblivion of your parched spirit.
Too many years of despair, I reckon.
And too little human affinity found.

I will never know, what drove your final decision to meet the vast unknown.
It's terrifying me to think
that you felt that was the only choice.
But even if I grieve that you will never
light up the world with your dazzling smile,
gentle touch,
or kindness anymore.
I see you for the brave and wondrous creature that you are.
Brave to live so far.
And brave to end it.

Nothing grows now,
the dry spell hit this summer hard.
And yet...
The gentle fragrance of all blossoms
linger in the air ever since you took your leave.
Dear angels in the heavens... you have a new sister now. Be kind to her, love her and hold her so hard that she will never again feel lacking.
Zara rain Jun 2018
I'm in love so much in love
with my boyfriend.
His sky blue eyes, blond curls and too deep a voice makes my heart constrict in a way unimaginable.
When he sings, it's the voice of an angel.
I'm an oddball, I don't belong,
My head is filled with lyrics and dreams...
My fingers constantly draw paintings
only clear to me. And every time I strike a chord on my beloved mahogany piano, I lose myself to the sound.
My classmates avoid getting too close to me.
That's fine, I don't relate with them anyways.
Mother is a terrifying universe, so confident
reliable and unending. She builds me up and tears me down in the whim of her might.
I'm a strange bird she tells me - but in a gentle way. I think it's a good thing. She never compares me with my sister.
And I understand why. It would be unfair.
But she vows me as often as she can that I am responsible to take care of her when she
I fly high with every stroke of my brush.
I dive low into the pits of despair when I look at the world.
So much to do...
But I believe...
I believe with my sixteen year old soul
That I will matter
Put a mark on the world

Sixteen year old me - I love you so much.

Thank you
Look back to who you were, your dreams and longing. Scourge every source of forgotten memories, diaries, people you knew. And discover once again that precious kid who forged you into who you are today.
Zara rain Apr 2018
Feeling my way through the darkness.
Guided by a beating heart.
I can't tell where the journey will end.
But I know where to start.
They tell me I'm too young to understand.
They say I'm caught up in a dream.
Well life will pass me by if I don't open up my eyes.
Well that's fine by me.

So wake me up when it's all over.
When I'm wiser and I'm older
All this time I was finding myself, and I didn't know I was lost.

So wake me up when it's all over.
When I'm wiser and I'm older
All this time I was finding myself, and I didn't know I was lost.

I tried carrying the weight of the world.
But I only have two hands.
Hope I get the chance to travel the world.
But I don't have any plans
Wish that I could stay forever this young.
Not afraid to close my eyes
Life's a game made for everyone
And love is a prize.

So wake me up when it's all over
When I'm wiser and I'm older
All this time I was finding myself, and I didn't know I was lost.

So wake me up when it's all over
When I'm wiser and I'm older
All this time I was finding myself, and
I didn't know I was lost.
The journey has just begun Tim... Discover new stars.
This song made a shift in my life and always will. Tim... died too soon, too young, and I can't really believe it's actually true. A unique voice left the world, leaving a void that no one will ever fill. And that's fine by me. Because uniqueness is not supposed to be replaceable, it's supposed to live out all of us and resonate through time.
Zara rain Mar 2018
As the tide wash over frostbitten shores
in the soon forsaken kingdom of Jack Frost.
I found my moment of solitude finally,
wrapped inside the cold breath of the norther.
The desolate requiem of terns in flight
disrupting the stillness of my mind.
Conjuring the uncalled ache of you
from my safe of forbidden memories.

As the years move everything we know
and we grow old both in heart and soul.
These memories will still be so easily stirred,
wailing for attention, just as the needy terns,
slowly moving sideways across the burning horizon.
And I will cast a spell for the wind to carry,
far across the ocean, crossing everything between us.
To finally reach you in the winter of our age
with the gentlest kiss, a forlorn whisper
telling you what went missing in our past... love
From the lost archives of shattered dreams

Arrival of the birds by the Cinematic Orchestra
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