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Jimmy Solanki Aug 23
I was born
A raised fist
A superman
A self-esteem built through
Tender love
I was born
A commitment
A future
My eyes carried a flame inherited
Relentless struggle
Scars and shadows that underlines
Everything that we are

As time leaves us behind
I understand
My fists opened up
They come together
In a series of
Shame and regret
Missed opportunity
A wasted life
Wasted dreams when I heard
Nothing because I closed my ears
Shut my eyes
Spoke no more
Dead outside as within
I understand but I cannot
Accept
Reject this being with all its glory
Glory and an endless sob story

I was born with a flame
I will extinguish it
Keep the coal warm till it crumbles
With the ashes let another write
Write my sins down to remember
Write me down to remember
Remember
Fist
Fire
Forging dreams
Feeling love

Forgiveness is a gift
I refuse to take with me
Remember to bury me under
Flowers of Passion
Remember to bury me
Jimmy Solanki Dec 2016
Returning a favor
I had once owed someone
Much more than all of this
More than all of me
Returning the favor
I had once seen far and wide
Feelings my spirit screamed for
Trembling
Overwhelmed

Innocuous as it seems
I have owed others too
They who turn the wheels
On this broken down station wagon
Crank it up
Or slow it down

I had once heard
Deeply, freely
Music that emerged
Cacophony unbalanced
But innocence immaculate
Returning the favor
As I return to where I was
Holiday's over

But as I return home
Something has changed
The sounds of musicals
Something has changed
Ineffable, invincible
I have owed a lot
I hope I've given enough
Jimmy Solanki Dec 2016
When my old friend
Walks through the door
He's come a long way with me
Constant companion
My fiercest combatant
An old corollary
Of my ****** up existence
I simply take him
Close in my arms
And rest while weeping tales away
Waiting till he wanders off
And someday he'll be back again

I just wish
When my old friend revisits
I'm jolly stocked with hearty ale
And songs to sing of old and new
Jimmy Solanki Dec 2016
With my bones I made a cage
I wanted to keep you safe
But who knew I'd be dangerously close
To drift off, drift off in space

So I tore the cage apart
And you went back to the start
But who knew you'd tether me down
Tied down with the strings of your heart

And you unravel
Unravel till the end of time
And I drift off
Hoping I could see you once again
As you were
Jimmy Solanki Jan 2016
I never have loved
Playing with words on my mouth
They're a lavish redundancy
I merely write them
To stop an overflow
So my dams do not crack
Where I nurture reservoirs of
Everything

So I will not speak out loud
I shall let my fingers
Whisper a word
Or an emotion
A long lost feeling
Or its phantom
Uncertain, yet not absolutely so

I shall let my lips touch you so
Subtly as the first and last vestiges of sunlight
I shall let my soul move you in ways you have never imagined
And oh so softly and gently
I shall let my eyes open to you
Gaze deeper inside yours as can be
Whispering the same thing
Over and over and over

I shall speak only what is important
And even so, it shall only be repeating
Repeating everything I would have already said
Jimmy Solanki Jan 2016
A mouthpiece of unknown origins
Reminiscent of scents
The definition of the soil in my skin
And a part of every womb
That gave shelter to each one of us
I carry this
Every day, oblivious
I carry these
Stories of a barren world
The definition of the soil in my skin
And a part of every mouth
That kissed your soul within
And gave you redemption

Bonded to the land
To its owners and managers
It's rightful heirs
If rights were godly
To its owners and tyrants
Every day I carry that
Little part of my people
The **** on earth
Jimmy Solanki Jan 2016
What is my motherland?
Is it the dust that ravages my lungs
Or the bones of my ancestors
Humming softly the old and forgotten
What is my motherland?
Is it where I was born?
A piece of land, a group of people?

Or is it the place where
It's mothers are graded
In layers
Where some wombs only give birth
To sub humans
Where some wombs are scarred
Born from the ashes of a thousand dreams burnt down
I'm a survivor
Of all they could throw at you

Of all their insults
The predicament
My mother's womb that withstood all it could
And some more

They tell me this is my land
That it is my mother
The birth giver and sustainer of life
I spit on their faces
My motherland never was this piece of land
Or the people who **** on its soul
Each and every day
My people lived in a different world
On this piece of land where we were  worse than animals to you

Where is my motherland?
I have none
Robbed of it since my birth
Where is my motherland?
But in the hearts of all who are like me
Set in stone
Yet defying gravity
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