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"rummage" poems
The city spearheads the futures we sincerely sold, As it pluckers your pennies and your coins of gold. I felt poor amid the auras of their fearsome metals, Cowering in the clothes of our daily struggles. I am destitute enough To bleach out the interests of my cards, To shatter your savings for a disabled future, To rummage the stock markets for apertures. Yet within you exhales tentacles of the color Yellow. Yellow as in, The scattered stars that scorch the injured sky, The mellowing voices of neon artificial lights, The apex of fire alight in frostbitten nights, And the yolk of hope my cheers rely. So while you chase the sun with your copper-clad hands, remember but this: all that glitters is not gold, It’s the color Yellow in these eyes I behold.
0
Aug 31, 2017
Aug 31, 2017 at 10:56 PM UTC
The Color Yellow
Civilized life is rigged, O land-dwellers! With landmines hidden in trails of Society's doctrine, 'Too often is it stepped on, Too often does it explode.' Blowing constitutions to smithereens, Where you then rummage within your nucleus to piece together your scattered jigsaw, Misplacing your natural elements, Overcasting your ability to side with beauteous aspects in simplicity— Of those ethereal-resplendent butterflies. Disillusioned on land thus is you (the complex you). Let go— Rise above your materialistic graves— Walk on air! My kindred wisps Walk on air!
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Aug 19, 2018
Aug 19, 2018 at 4:56 AM UTC
Society-a-Landmine
I blare my conscious mind but stay mute Im a forest sunset with a fading glare Rummage through my thorns tear apart my roots in the center a void is there Playing aloud is the devils flute And it will strip me bare From the top of my hair To the tip of my boot
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May 15, 2015
May 15, 2015 at 12:48 AM UTC
Devil's Flute
I knew there was something wrong with her when I was 10 I found a magazine report about borderline personality disorder I was reading in the school library and I started crying I could never have put a word on what was different about my mother But there it was, plain as day The way she could stay in bed till 3 in the afternoon with the blinds closed The way some days we would laugh as she asked me if I wanted to play hooky and skip out on school We would go grab frappucinos at Starbucks and rummage through countless thrift store shelves But some days, some days I would be screamed at until I cried Some days I would lock myself in the bedroom until I needed to come out Some days I would stay at school extra long and just put off going home altogether Some days my brother and I were burdens Some nights we would get to order pizzas and drink Coke and some nights we were told to find food for ourselves Always with the paranoia and the headaches and the inability to do anything Consistent with the anger and the depression Consistent with the exhaustion and the impulsive natures The pills never helped, the pills never made things better Fourteen years later and things are no better, things are no easier Things have made no progression Fourteen years later and we don’t speak
0
Jan 5, 2018
Jan 5, 2018 at 3:40 PM UTC
BPD
I wake up Each morning, Head to my closet, And arm myself With clothes Thick as brick walls. I rummage Through various Pairs of greeve-like Pants Looking for The right foundation On which I Will build The day's Exoskeleton. Fix my hair Like the rest Of mankind. Hair that Acts as the cloak That ascribes me To anonimity. Before I leave I put on the Weight of My outer person, The one which I have carefully Built out of Various yous And none of me. The skin That I Have worn To see my soul Forlorn. I go, parade myself Like a sentinel Emblazoned With all the Merits; Look and behold A hero that Beckons to all who pass A hero who Hides all the dross Of the Inside. The inside of whatever is left Of my Dying kingdom. I go as a bastion With jutted spears And sharpened pikes Wounding those Who advance Whether in peace Or in strife. No, I will not Let anyone Through the gates Of my starving King. All my life I was being Built as a Stronghold. Father, as a mason, Taught me That strength Is measured Through how Much pressure My structure Can endure. Mother, as an artisan, Raised me As a dam That will not break. Taught me That my worth Is measured in the Volumes that I can keep. Suffering be now The mortar That binds all my griefs Together. Pain, ***** Barricades Around my thirsting Prince. Comrade, Stay as a facade; Hide the muck That have accumulated Throughout The years. Lover, break me down. Strip me of all My armor, Break down the walls. Turn my spears Into soft dandelion ***** Wade through the tar And see Through the veil. Unseam All my scars; Bleed me dry Until you reach my core. See me for Who I am. Witness the king That I have deprived. Caress the face Of the prince That I have denied. Satiate my famished spirit, Oh, you, lover of my soul.
0
Nov 12, 2014
Nov 12, 2014 at 8:18 AM UTC
Clothes
I wake up Each morning, Head to my closet, And arm myself With clothes Thick as brick walls. I rummage Through various Pairs of greeve-like Pants Looking for The right foundation On which I Will build The day's Exoskeleton. Fix my hair Like the rest Of mankind. Hair that Acts as the cloak That ascribes me To anonimity. Before I leave I put on the Weight of My outer person, The one which I have carefully Built out of Various yous And none of me. The skin That I Have worn To see my soul Forlorn. I go, parade myself Like a sentinel Emblazoned With all the Merits; Look and behold A hero that Beckons to all who pass A hero who Hides all the dross Of the Inside. The inside of whatever is left Of my Dying kingdom. I go as a bastion With jutted spears And sharpened pikes Wounding those Who advance Whether in peace Or in strife. No, I will not Let anyone Through the gates Of my starving King. All my life I was being Built as a Stronghold. Father, as a mason, Taught me That strength Is measured Through how Much pressure My structure Can endure. Mother, as an artisan, Raised me As a dam That will not break. Taught me That my worth Is measured in the Volumes that I can keep. Suffering be now The mortar That binds all my griefs Together. Pain, ***** Barricades Around my thirsting Prince. Comrade, Stay as a facade; Hide the muck That have accumulated Throughout The years. Lover, break me down. Strip me of all My armor, Break down the walls. Turn my spears Into soft dandelion ***** Wade through the tar And see Through the veil. Unseam All my scars; Bleed me dry Until you reach my core. See me for Who I am. Witness the king That I have deprived. Caress the face Of the prince That I have denied. Satiate my famished spirit, Oh, you, lover of my soul.
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121
I've never had luck with blondes. Well, I've had lots of luck falling ever so deeply in love with them. With their eyes of bright hues in blue, green, and greys. Going head over heels for their charming smiles that make your eyes linger a little longer that what's permitted. Dying to feel their godlike comforting powerful touch. That was easy. Horribly easy. But what surprised me, kicked the backs of my knees and made me crumble to the pavement were that those handsome heavenly faced blondes, have no soul. And I am sure of it, because every single ******* time, they leave me... Alone in the dark, confused, disoriented, with not a single word. Which leaves my thoughts to echo in the emptiness, rummage around inside my skull, looking in the hollow cabinets searching for clues and slowly growing frustrated and angry, angrier, angriest. But not at the blonde boys. At myself. As of what I did wrong? Why did they go? How could I let this happen again? And every time, I can never find the reason. Those blonde boys just appear in the rays of the summertime with their golden locks of hair and leave with their icy dark souls in the cold breeze of the fall. And I know, they will be back next year. With the sun, and happiness and my stupidity. Until then though I'm stuck with the abusive markings and stabbing aches.
0
Nov 6, 2012
Nov 6, 2012 at 9:41 PM UTC
Blonde Boys
i scroll through the symptoms; the signs once more finally screen-shotting them only so i do not have to keep looking and re-looking them up i rummage through the very personal box of writings hidden under my bed i find the paper with the heading of: How I See Me, How I Am following the undepthed title is a list of short, spiked written words, words that, all though so very short, mean so much and ache even worse down to the bottom of the list my finger skims my eyes scattered throughout the words and my tears scarring the paper finally at the the bottom i grab the pen and finish the list with one simple word depressed (a.b)
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Feb 26, 2014
Feb 26, 2014 at 11:27 PM UTC
Depressed
Look in the mirror What do you see? Imperfection As you reach left for The tan crumbs to cover your uneven skin And reaching right for The black Toxic Goo To give the impression that your stubby eyelashes Aren't incapable of growing You step back and look at yourself once more Its not enough You rummage for the crayon to Smear across your eyelids In hopes that it will make your Dull Brown eyes Pop Your face feels pounds heavier Yet, are you really done so soon? Aren't you forgetting something You dig deep into the drawer To find a Burning Red paint to drown your thin pale lips in Longing for the look of that Photoshopped Supermodel you saw in that magazine You come downstairs Dad says you look like a clown Mom says you're still a kid Society says its not enough What do you say
0
Sep 27, 2014
Sep 27, 2014 at 2:50 AM UTC
Imperfections
The Secret of Her Clothes by Michael R. Burch The secret of her clothes is that they whisper a little mysteriously of things unseen in the language of nylon and cotton, so that when she walks to her amorous drawers to rummage among the embroidered hearts and rumors of pastel slips for a white wisp of Victorian lace, the delicate rustle of fabric on fabric, the slightest whisper of telltale static, electrifies me. Published by Erosha, Velvet Avalanche (Anthology) and Poetry Life & Times Keywords/Tags: clothes, lingerie, nylon, cotton, amorous, drawers, slips, lace, static, electricity, mystery, mysterious
0
Apr 13, 2020
Apr 13, 2020 at 5:16 AM UTC
The Secret of Her Clothes
Come every morning you're up with the sun with hundreds of questions before breakfasts done like what is a rainbow and where is the dark? what's that? and why's? can we go to the park? the beach? the woods? as I sit here and dream must we have cereal? I want ice cream! You sit at the table, eyes wide, mine half shut and chat to the cat about dinosaur stuff how you like pterodactyls but school, not so much you rummage through cereal in hope of a toy one way to amuse such a curious boy the cat swipes the box, makes it fall to the floor "there goes our breakfast!" as sweet laughter roars you slurp at your juice as I sip at my tea so it's ice cream for breakfast for you and for me.
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May 2, 2014
May 2, 2014 at 3:33 AM UTC
Ice cream for breakfast.
Out my kitchen window I see the barrier surrounding my backyard. And the backyard after that. And the one after that. And the one after that. And so on... Wanting to keep people out. Guarding our things and guarding ourselves. I see your barrier. It's made of the thickest stone. There are barely any cracks or breaks just signs that someone tried to get inside and holes patched from their effort. I wish I could make all the hurt go away. I wish I could provide the comfort you need. I wish I could tear down that stone divider. I wish I could shatter your wall. I stand at your barricade my hands placed on the cold, thick stone. Projecting all my love and warmth into the tips of my fingers. I want nothing more than to rummage through this rubble so that I can find you and hold you.
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Jan 30, 2015
Jan 30, 2015 at 1:12 AM UTC
Breaking Your Barrier
I traipse along fractured slabs to get away, away from worn floors to a place of haunting silence - just cope with it I say. From the cavern to the cave, beneath ***** dishcloth clouds, a monochrome Rubik's cube of a mind, sluggish and masses of ******* ideas, there then forgotten. Rummage around in the green sack, pick out a dream to dream tonight before it melts like Red Leicester on brown bread into an image hard to decipher, a TV dotted with white spots - smack me on the back 'til a picture returns. Blindfold me until I cannot see, give me another sliver of suspect perfection.
0
Oct 5, 2012
Oct 5, 2012 at 5:26 PM UTC
Haze
it's dusty, i swipe grime off my skin my memories piled up in stacks of knick-knacks, yellowed notebook pages, and drawings from when i was twelve i haven't cleaned my room in a year too scared, anxious to touch anything the fear of breaking my fragile sense of identity that i've clung to it's desperate, lonely sleeping in a dusty room i wipe the sweat from my forehead cobwebs weave through my strands clinging in clumps as i rummage through my belongings i hadn't seen these things in a while remnants of when i was happier, even though i said i wasn't i'm a year older again and soon i will be years and years older and i will leave this room behind for now, as i stay for a little bit longer let me revert back into the child i was.
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May 26, 2023
May 26, 2023 at 6:54 AM UTC
dust
sacred silent season wrapped in silk in your tall towers imposed with the ambling sense of reason and ripe blossoms bathed in ***** milk never again left to wonder the aimless riches of yesterday and the golden hopes of tomorrow such are the joys of a Norseman pillage and plunder I will rummage your sweet gardens let your woven path lead my feet free of chains to your doorway; and the Viking stirs and hardens alpha breath against moist misty white skin my cobalt aquas revel in the seas of your chastity now ablaze with nordic sweat and archaic sin Let the games begin
0
May 1, 2013
May 1, 2013 at 1:20 PM UTC
Tale of the Celtic Handmaiden
There are monsters under my bed, I swear it’s true If you don’t believe me take a peak, but I wouldn’t if I were you They are more terrifying then any alien, vampire or werewolf pack Even though they wouldn’t eat you as a snack They don’t have three heads, green skin or multiple eyeballs But bones can be seen through brittle orange skin and sleek hair, skyscraper tall The heaving chest of a Grinch size heart can be seen, beating almost too slowly Their beady bloodshot eyes stare at my pale skin, knowingly I hear their long nails violently scraping on my floor, haunting the room in which I slumber Those bloodshot eyes and glowing nails wish to tear me from limb to limb, with a plunger I prevent this terrible pretense by giving them what they desire the most Dishes of raw meat, garnished with flies, are found under my bed; since they infatuate the gross So they will not touch a pretty little hair on my head But, it is so that they glare with jealous revenge, under my bed They rely on me, and I must keep them satisfied, for my safety They have a fear of being not alluring, very desperately they rummage through food, even if it isn’t tasty These scrawny creatures reflect a zombie, who was once radiant with beauty Demanding statements and propelling attitudes falsify their faces, simply they are snooty. Their beauty would entice many girls, I know Maybe others would see the reflection of their ugly souls, and realize what their future may in toe These creatures are after me, because I’m not like them In this twisted universe, I am the alien
0
Sep 5, 2012
Sep 5, 2012 at 12:41 AM UTC
Creatures
There are monsters under my bed, I swear it’s true If you don’t believe me take a peak, but I wouldn’t if I were you They are more terrifying then any alien, vampire or werewolf pack Even though they wouldn’t eat you as a snack They don’t have three heads, green skin or multiple eyeballs But bones can be seen through brittle orange skin and sleek hair, skyscraper tall The heaving chest of a Grinch size heart can be seen, beating almost too slowly Their beady bloodshot eyes stare at my pale skin, knowingly I hear their long nails violently scraping on my floor, haunting the room in which I slumber Those bloodshot eyes and glowing nails wish to tear me from limb to limb, with a plunger I prevent this terrible pretense by giving them what they desire the most Dishes of raw meat, garnished with flies, are found under my bed; since they infatuate the gross So they will not touch a pretty little hair on my head But, it is so that they glare with jealous revenge, under my bed They rely on me, and I must keep them satisfied, for my safety They have a fear of being not alluring, very desperately they rummage through food, even if it isn’t tasty These scrawny creatures reflect a zombie, who was once radiant with beauty Demanding statements and propelling attitudes falsify their faces, simply they are snooty. Their beauty would entice many girls, I know Maybe others would see the reflection of their ugly souls, and realize what their future may in toe These creatures are after me, because I’m not like them In this twisted universe, I am the alien
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22
Day one, Hour three I don’t know you You don’t know me But I already have a question. It went downhill from there Questions coming as fast as the seconds passed leading up to my parents Departure. You didn’t know what you were getting yourself into when you said I could count on you And then you let me follow you home Like the lost puppy I was. I didn’t know what I was getting myself into When I said Let’s be friends. Because now all I want to do is trust you When all my head says is keep it to myself, Baby, I came here with more than just clothes in my baggage. But I can’t keep myself from saying too much And I can’t keep you from saying too little And I can’t keep myself from wanting to save you. When I need to save myself. Because I can’t do this Again. I’m supposed to forget my past But her words were dragons that continue to rear their heads At inopportune moments. For every question I ask you, I ask myself fifteen more And the answers? Well they’re with the slippers I forgot to pack. I’m in love with a bunch of letters. Little pieces of paper that make me nauseous just to look at. Words that used to mean the world are now just contradictions. So please don’t ever write me a letter Because I’ll take that to mean you’re leaving me too. I know her actions don’t have anything to do with you But my past isn’t gone It’s just been put on a shelf Somewhere else. And I’m trying so hard to forget where. You deserve more than this. You deserve more than the cheesy clichés and the useless words. You deserve more than the part of my past I won’t tell you And the rubble that I’m left with. And for you I want to be more. I’ve given you my heart on paper multiple times before I want you to know That for you, there is no door. Forget my shoulder, Let my lend you my spine. And please if you ever need it, Let our fingers intertwine. Friend, I want to be your windowsill. I want you to know I’ll always be there, For you to put your crap on. I want you to know you can open up my head and look inside and rummage around for a while If for some bizarre reason you would ever want to that. I don’t know why you would ever want to do that… But anyway. I want to be the notebook that you can write your secrets in And know no one will ever find them. I want to be the magic eight ball that you turn to for help And that has the courage to tell you what you don’t want to hear Because I know you need to hear it. I want to be that sticker you put on your wall. You don’t always look at it, But you know it’s always there. Most importantly though, I want you to think of me as a bottle of glue. It doesn’t matter what you throw at me, I’ll always stick with you.
0
Apr 22, 2013
Apr 22, 2013 at 3:13 AM UTC
Glue
Day one, Hour three I don’t know you You don’t know me But I already have a question. It went downhill from there Questions coming as fast as the seconds passed leading up to my parents Departure. You didn’t know what you were getting yourself into when you said I could count on you And then you let me follow you home Like the lost puppy I was. I didn’t know what I was getting myself into When I said Let’s be friends. Because now all I want to do is trust you When all my head says is keep it to myself, Baby, I came here with more than just clothes in my baggage. But I can’t keep myself from saying too much And I can’t keep you from saying too little And I can’t keep myself from wanting to save you. When I need to save myself. Because I can’t do this Again. I’m supposed to forget my past But her words were dragons that continue to rear their heads At inopportune moments. For every question I ask you, I ask myself fifteen more And the answers? Well they’re with the slippers I forgot to pack. I’m in love with a bunch of letters. Little pieces of paper that make me nauseous just to look at. Words that used to mean the world are now just contradictions. So please don’t ever write me a letter Because I’ll take that to mean you’re leaving me too. I know her actions don’t have anything to do with you But my past isn’t gone It’s just been put on a shelf Somewhere else. And I’m trying so hard to forget where. You deserve more than this. You deserve more than the cheesy clichés and the useless words. You deserve more than the part of my past I won’t tell you And the rubble that I’m left with. And for you I want to be more. I’ve given you my heart on paper multiple times before I want you to know That for you, there is no door. Forget my shoulder, Let my lend you my spine. And please if you ever need it, Let our fingers intertwine. Friend, I want to be your windowsill. I want you to know I’ll always be there, For you to put your crap on. I want you to know you can open up my head and look inside and rummage around for a while If for some bizarre reason you would ever want to that. I don’t know why you would ever want to do that… But anyway. I want to be the notebook that you can write your secrets in And know no one will ever find them. I want to be the magic eight ball that you turn to for help And that has the courage to tell you what you don’t want to hear Because I know you need to hear it. I want to be that sticker you put on your wall. You don’t always look at it, But you know it’s always there. Most importantly though, I want you to think of me as a bottle of glue. It doesn’t matter what you throw at me, I’ll always stick with you.
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71
When I feel the world is moving way too fast, When the stars disappear and reappear over the horizon in what feels like seconds, When the moon's gentle crescent curve consumes the black around it and expands in the span of a night - We’re moving so fast, you and I, we’re falling through space and time The universe is expanding and we’re falling into the sun Flying through space at a thousand miles an hour With the sun hitting us at the speed of light Life here is infinite, stretching out forever So when I feel we’re going too fast I rummage in my accumulated possessions and pull out the most valuable piece I set up my still forest of ticking trees and clockwork animals Plant the swaying grass within the everlasting soil I'll sit in my unmoving meadow And watch the world stay still
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Jul 5, 2014
Jul 5, 2014 at 5:27 AM UTC
Stationary Set
We can be different, you know. We do not have to stand behind society’s shoulder, figurative mascara staining our cheeks; cowering away from the world—we can be different. We can shine like a billion snowflakes on pavement, melting in the wind perhaps but immaculate all the same. We can stand up against the hurricane of second choices and broken opinions; we can diverge from the neon path of shattered hearts and clichés and we can go to sleep and let ourselves heal and sometimes we can decide that 24 hours is far too long to be conscious of our mistakes. We can be different. We do not have to write about wars or dragons or space we can write about the freckles on our palms, or the blue of a stranger’s eyes. We can skip all we want and we can breathe through our hearts; we can pull the lilies from our garden and water the weeds ‘til they bloom and we can watch Barney until we turn seventeen because it’s okay to be different. We are allowed to bury everything we have ever been told and learn things for ourselves because if “seeing is believing” then experiencing must be a gold star and a half—don’t tell me I’m wrong. We can be different. The only people who have ever said otherwise are hiding among us and the reason we have listened for so long is because we’re afraid that we are one of them. We are afraid to step out of the crowd of painted souls and rummage in the future for a color of our own. And we don’t understand that if the brushes are all taken, and the watercolors of individuality are dried up or used we can mix our own or use our fingers or stain our reality with melted crayons—it doesn’t really matter. Because it’s okay to be different. And every time we cut off our own voices, or burn our love letters we are encouraging the wind to whisk away the snowflakes plastered to the pavement, crushed under feet of people determined to be the same. -Me
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Dec 2, 2013
Dec 2, 2013 at 8:17 PM UTC
Diamonds on Pavement
We can be different, you know. We do not have to stand behind society’s shoulder, figurative mascara staining our cheeks; cowering away from the world—we can be different. We can shine like a billion snowflakes on pavement, melting in the wind perhaps but immaculate all the same. We can stand up against the hurricane of second choices and broken opinions; we can diverge from the neon path of shattered hearts and clichés and we can go to sleep and let ourselves heal and sometimes we can decide that 24 hours is far too long to be conscious of our mistakes. We can be different. We do not have to write about wars or dragons or space we can write about the freckles on our palms, or the blue of a stranger’s eyes. We can skip all we want and we can breathe through our hearts; we can pull the lilies from our garden and water the weeds ‘til they bloom and we can watch Barney until we turn seventeen because it’s okay to be different. We are allowed to bury everything we have ever been told and learn things for ourselves because if “seeing is believing” then experiencing must be a gold star and a half—don’t tell me I’m wrong. We can be different. The only people who have ever said otherwise are hiding among us and the reason we have listened for so long is because we’re afraid that we are one of them. We are afraid to step out of the crowd of painted souls and rummage in the future for a color of our own. And we don’t understand that if the brushes are all taken, and the watercolors of individuality are dried up or used we can mix our own or use our fingers or stain our reality with melted crayons—it doesn’t really matter. Because it’s okay to be different. And every time we cut off our own voices, or burn our love letters we are encouraging the wind to whisk away the snowflakes plastered to the pavement, crushed under feet of people determined to be the same. -Me
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1
"Get out!" He yells; orders "Get out of the car!" I sit. "NOW!" I look around sorry faces gawk at me they should be sorry letting me fend for myself walking into the desert battlefield with me then stealing my bags and running away with sorry snickers sorry **** well should be. "I'M SERIOUS! GET OUT NOW! OR I'LL PULL YOU OUT!" I gaze out the window barren deserts, mossy, sandy mountains, endless stretches of hard, dead highway The lock unlocks, my belongings gather, my shoes go on, the handle moves, the door opens, my foot ventures to the sandy ground the door closes the engine starts the car moves away Sorry hands wave at me my body is still My face holds steady; a deathly glare of dementia The car disappears Realization slaps me dead in the face with its stone hard fingers. Did that really just happen? Am I truly all alone? I look around. NO people. NO cars. Just an endless stretch of highway Epiphany strokes me with fire warm palms. I'm alone! I'm alone! Sweet freedom! Sweet, sticky, horrid freedom! I hurl I cough and spit wheeze I wipe my mouth the saccharine taste of bile still fresh. I thirst. I grab my camel back and take a small, deliberate swig. I put on my backpack and stalk away from the speck of dust car. I grimace. I rummage through my never-ending pockets. I count out five dollars and seventy five cents worth of change. I grunt. I hike up the dusty trail. All ahead of me is sand and dust, sickness and deluging concepts of freedom. I march on. I feel the earth echo beneath me as each grain of sand separates. With each trudging movement my feet slip backward. With nowhere left to go and nothing left to do I walk on with my smile of freedom and my baggage of Desertion
0
Sep 4, 2012
Sep 4, 2012 at 4:12 PM UTC
Deep Desert Desertion
"Get out!" He yells; orders "Get out of the car!" I sit. "NOW!" I look around sorry faces gawk at me they should be sorry letting me fend for myself walking into the desert battlefield with me then stealing my bags and running away with sorry snickers sorry **** well should be. "I'M SERIOUS! GET OUT NOW! OR I'LL PULL YOU OUT!" I gaze out the window barren deserts, mossy, sandy mountains, endless stretches of hard, dead highway The lock unlocks, my belongings gather, my shoes go on, the handle moves, the door opens, my foot ventures to the sandy ground the door closes the engine starts the car moves away Sorry hands wave at me my body is still My face holds steady; a deathly glare of dementia The car disappears Realization slaps me dead in the face with its stone hard fingers. Did that really just happen? Am I truly all alone? I look around. NO people. NO cars. Just an endless stretch of highway Epiphany strokes me with fire warm palms. I'm alone! I'm alone! Sweet freedom! Sweet, sticky, horrid freedom! I hurl I cough and spit wheeze I wipe my mouth the saccharine taste of bile still fresh. I thirst. I grab my camel back and take a small, deliberate swig. I put on my backpack and stalk away from the speck of dust car. I grimace. I rummage through my never-ending pockets. I count out five dollars and seventy five cents worth of change. I grunt. I hike up the dusty trail. All ahead of me is sand and dust, sickness and deluging concepts of freedom. I march on. I feel the earth echo beneath me as each grain of sand separates. With each trudging movement my feet slip backward. With nowhere left to go and nothing left to do I walk on with my smile of freedom and my baggage of Desertion
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64
I thought of you today and felt resentment. Rather than pretend like everything was okay, I let myself feel pain for being abandoned. Because I opened my mental cabinet and let you rummage around. I left it open after you left, believing that you might want to come back to it later. But you never came back. And you left everything a mess. The contents of the drawer started falling out, and I was left alone to pick it all up. Items shattered on the floor and I cut my hands trying to pick them up. I wish I didn't let you in
0
Mar 17, 2022
Mar 17, 2022 at 4:35 PM UTC
Put it back where you found it
Do you find it boring to spell out the word "subconscious"? Not the way I spell it. Many step onto the first "S" as if it were a ***** rain puddle, but I'm sufficiently alert and can see that one must dive into the word's application, nimbly rummage through the annals of its history before conducting one word in or against its favor. Glide downward through the rhythmically breathing curves of the voluptuous prefix, "sub-", as you begin dreaming further down towards the comatose of the rickety construction that is your superego, to the "you" no one knows about in clear daylight (even the mirror). Minor turbulence may occur within the rest, "-conscious", just a few jagged rocks stirred into Cloud Nine to alter your perceptions like a face hit by a bus. This is the meat of your matter, the acidic ruptures that only the most cunning infiltrators can identify and nudge with their index fingers using a painful precision, the ***** band of undergarments that always seem to loiter behind in the town laundromat. But a jagged rock is a jagged rock, never eternally bordering the outline of the planet, just lodged within the corners of your comfort zone, their presence a necessary evil for the times you must steer through the swarms of cataracts and endure the exrcuciating agony of becoming a better human being. You launch yourself from your adolescent crutches like the roots of teeth erupting from the base of the jaw and prevent single definition, hack away the tentacles of emotional paralysis, by remembering to mend the tear between two polar halves, "sub conscious." Under your false promises, your Freudian timeline, your ever-quivering Id... every single one of you.
0
Apr 29, 2010
Apr 29, 2010 at 10:53 AM UTC
Spelling Bee
Do you find it boring to spell out the word "subconscious"? Not the way I spell it. Many step onto the first "S" as if it were a ***** rain puddle, but I'm sufficiently alert and can see that one must dive into the word's application, nimbly rummage through the annals of its history before conducting one word in or against its favor. Glide downward through the rhythmically breathing curves of the voluptuous prefix, "sub-", as you begin dreaming further down towards the comatose of the rickety construction that is your superego, to the "you" no one knows about in clear daylight (even the mirror). Minor turbulence may occur within the rest, "-conscious", just a few jagged rocks stirred into Cloud Nine to alter your perceptions like a face hit by a bus. This is the meat of your matter, the acidic ruptures that only the most cunning infiltrators can identify and nudge with their index fingers using a painful precision, the ***** band of undergarments that always seem to loiter behind in the town laundromat. But a jagged rock is a jagged rock, never eternally bordering the outline of the planet, just lodged within the corners of your comfort zone, their presence a necessary evil for the times you must steer through the swarms of cataracts and endure the exrcuciating agony of becoming a better human being. You launch yourself from your adolescent crutches like the roots of teeth erupting from the base of the jaw and prevent single definition, hack away the tentacles of emotional paralysis, by remembering to mend the tear between two polar halves, "sub conscious." Under your false promises, your Freudian timeline, your ever-quivering Id... every single one of you.
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I meekly rummage through my purse Looking for my tangled earpHones The sweet sounds of guitar and synth fill my ear As we pass Eglinton West I wait for the last minute of the song Where I maximize the volume Just to hear the faint bass in the ocean of noise Like my pastel jelly fish amongst navy blue Stinging my tearducts with poison Is your bass That romantic tune forever ringing in my ears Like your breathe down my back Like your eyelash on my cheek Like your fingers in my hair The same that pluck that bass Cascading ******** sound waves through my tired mind, romantic heart I put your bass away, back in my purse And walk the streets of my city Where I see you everywhere You can't be put away neatly in my subconscious You're their bassist, But most of all, You're my front man.
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Jan 22, 2013
Jan 22, 2013 at 3:12 AM UTC
The Bassist
Budapest It’s an odd hour in Budapest, that time when one finds themselves all alone, passing vagrants who rummage through the trash, searching for scraps of whatever and possibly some salvation, I’d been drinking, which I guess is good and bad, coming fresh off of a philosophical conversation, with an ideological Kiwi, I couldn’t crush her ideological exuberance, with my aged cynicism, even if I’d wanted to, because I respected her passionate optimism too much, or not enough, either way, I was as alone now, as I was before I met her, except I felt lonelier, because we all feel lonelier, after having had the company of a friend, or a stranger, whatever, it doesn’t matter now, I’m several drinks in, and I’m back at my rooftop apartment, across from The Dohany Street Synagogue, retreating into my writing which is where I find myself now, at this odd hour in Budapest, that time when one finds themselves all alone, passing vagrants who rummage through the trash, searching for scraps of whatever and possibly some salvation… ∆ Aaron LA Lux ∆ author of The Poetry Trilogy author of The H Trilogy ∆ ∆ ∆ ∆ ∆ ∆ ∆ ∆ ∆
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Jul 28, 2016
Jul 28, 2016 at 5:31 PM UTC
- Budapest -
Glowing Windows embedded into mouldy brick walls Ivy climbing the gutters of neighbourhood roofs Skies becoming burnt out like charred blackened fields Tall spiny trees project shadows onto the road below Leaves curl up to receive some weakening light from above A formation of sputtering cars cling to each turn they decide to make Cloudy milky light bounces off faulty windows that exhale the aroma of somebodies impending supper A heavy truck manoeuvres itself into the blistered bitumen horizon Dry deflated branches make obscene gestures towards passers-by Gardeners rummage through their bags as they near the end of their working day Their faces filled with an expired enthusiasm for breathing Parked hunks of metal pelted with dead itchy leaves Windscreen wipers hold fragile twigs down against grotty neglected glass Chain-link fences link disparate housing and the sleeping people within Some dispirited unsatisfied psychos gaze up as they catch a moving bus Smoky Incense billows down from some apartment balcony The air becomes cold and sharply fills these ordinary streets Engine sounds try to supress the divine quietness They only merge into it Now the stars are out and about Bright specks waddling in an aerial pool of dark blue You turn the key and walk through the front door
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Feb 27, 2019
Feb 27, 2019 at 11:24 AM UTC
The Corner Near a Bus Stop
I want a lazy kind of love Sleeping until noon you can rummage my mind I'll unfold the sunlight for you My fractured eyelids have dreamcatcher eyes I'll carry the moon in my pocket, the lightening in my core My poetic mouth will get us through the nights Unbound lips gather the earth
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Feb 28, 2017
Feb 28, 2017 at 3:15 AM UTC
Dreamcatcher Eyes