I haven’t been able to write about you, from the moment we met. I finally feel like I figured it out. You’re different. I don’t and I can’t find the words to write about our relationship or my feelings towards you, other than that you make me happy, but I can write about what you make me think. Our course of words takes me to places forgotten and new realizations and you encourage me to pursue and keep pursuing the things I love to do. To the boy next-door, I thank you.

head to pillow
just staring blankly at the floor.
This feels all too familiar
I thought to myself
as waves of fear rippled back.
hours pass.
head to pillow
that familiarity unknowingly lingering in the back of my head
body freezes as it makes its way forward
until it’s all I can feel.
Waves crash yet no salt streams down my face
No matter how calm
the winds and waters will find a time to collide

I asked myself
what’s wrong with a little dreamin
Our imagination can’t hurt us
but reality will
I thought I had finally chosen right
after countless ill decisions
I thought I knew from the beginning
but what I was missing
was staring me down even before the start
dumpster demons
how could it be so
And yet
I miss your smile
vibrant and luminous
just right
because when I’m with you
I want to match your smile
you make me match your smile

Laying in bed side by side
facing one another
looking into each others eyes
but looking away when it becomes too much
your thumb grazes my lip
and my eyes come right back to yours

thank you for taking the time
to make me feel desired
I thank you for putting this smile back on my cheeks