Watching him write on the blackboard
More green than black
I was struck by the deep blue of his shirt
And how crisp the lines were
Folded and ironed
More effort than I care to put into a shirt

And even though I was shivering
In the dark, hopeless blue of
My bulky winter jacket
Sitting in that empty chair
I slid out of the room in my mind
Recalling summer

The windows, now with canvas
Blinds half lowered
Would, instead of frost and condensation
Allow thick, all-encompassing heat
To slither into the room
Our shirts sticking to us

Sweat stains would mark up our
Clothes, like chalk on the blackboard
And our legs would
Stick to our plastic chairs as we
Stood at the end of class, reinvigorated
Voices raised in shared triumph of the overcome

Backpacks would be thrown over our
Shoulders wet and tan and flush with
Heat of the summer season, synonymous with
Hope. Our shorts and bright shirts made the
Room a deafening testament to our
Readiness

For the day.

A lot of water has flowed under the bridge since then,
time now to start again from where things were left on their own when dealing in the present with regards to an uncertain future.

A considerable time has been spent in waiting for the right moment in time.
A lot of things got ascertained,
many assumptions made during that period of time,
however,
as of now in the present everything seems to be in place,
so now it's the right moment in time to start again with something definite in mind.

Wait for a while
Wait for sometime
Wait for the present moment in time in the present to become a thing of past.
Let is pass
Let it become a thing of past.

Let it pass off on it's own
Let it pass off like an old, dry leaf of an oak tree,
which gets carried away by the force of the wind,
then later on finds it's place on the ground after sometime.

Once the present moment in time passes by and things get settled,
time now to start again.

All this is because there are moments in life of an individual when everything seems to be on the verge of falling in it's right place,
however,
as it is said better said then done,
always it takes time for everything to find it way along the right place.

Confusion, chaos, conflict, contradiction, anxiety, curiousness and everything else will find their way in the mind of an individual that wants to remain calm, cool and steady at same point in time.

Keeping this in mind,
knowing that the future will remain uncertain,
importantly,
it's important to have something definite along the way with regards to the present moment in time,
always it's better to take the next step very carefully.

Better wait and watch
Better late than ever

A mistake even when it is corrected will still get registered as a mistake in the time that is yet to come because for every mistake that is made one has to pay something,
however a repeat mistake can definitely be avoided when doing things in hurry so as to keep the nature of things in proper shape while in present.
Better safe than sorry.

Atttitude plays a major role in shaping the future
The right attitude,
which is positive attitude plays a major role in building a constructive future,
later on the future can be shaped according to the present moment in time present then at that point in time.

Hence, whenever you find yourself caught in a web of lies with confusion and chaos becoming part of your life,
always it's better to play safe rather than feel sorry.

Always it's better to wait for a while,
wait for sometime,
wait for the present moment in time in the present,
let it pass,
let everything get settled and once things seem to be in place,
then upon finding the right moment in time,
time now to start again.

Finally, it's the right thing done at the right moment in time that makes a great deal of difference,
not only with regards to the nature of things in the present,
but also when it comes to handling and dealing an uncertain future,
which most of the time remains uncertain even when the best of the efforts are made to ascertain the same.

It is 1973, the U.S. Supreme court ruled in favor
of a woman's right to choose.

It is 2000 and my mother chooses me.
I am born with ten fingers and ten toes
and though I remember nothing,
she remembers it all.

It is 2001 and terrorism reeks havoc and death
on the United States
and Americans are reinvigorated
with a new kind of hatred for foreigners and immigrants.

It is 2009 and my parents divorce
and I meet a man
that makes me afraid to live in my own home.
Because he lives there as well.
And though, he never touches me
he talks to me
like I am nothing
and he is the sun
and there a hiccups of time
when I believe him.

Things I was not supposed to worry about.

It is 2014 and I read about Roe v. Wade for the first time
in my 9th grade history textbook,
I thought that my generation
would not have to worry about these things.
That some other brave women had paved the way
toward my right to choose what happened to my body.
Funny
how some of my other peers never had to come to that revelation.
Funny
how we learn in silence.

It is 2015.
I work in a bar, behind the scenes
flipping burgers and cleaning toilets
but everyone still knows my name
and some people still throw their arms around me
and hold on too tight
and touch me in sly inappropriate glimpses

It is 2015,
and I have learned to grin and bear it
and never say a word.
Because there are things a woman puts up with
for the sake of a job.

It is 2015 and in my personal finance class
a teacher projects a chart of a wage gap,
chalks up the hundreds of thousands of dollars
in differential pay
to maternal leave.
And I wonder if he ever smiled through a man
more than three times his age,
with a hand on his ***
without saying a thing.

these are things we were not supposed to worry about

It is 2018 and my mother asks me how I sleep at night
knowing I litter my facebook timeline with
pro-choice propaganda.
How I could think that I might know anything about my own body
and life and needs
because I haven't had children.
Because my thoughts, desires, obligations, and dreams,
my validity as a **** human being
and as a woman
means nothing without bearing a child.

It is 2018 and I have been using a birth control pill
for three months
I put on ten pounds
I am emotional
I hate myself
and I cry constantly
Sometimes my stomach cramps until I throw-up,
but I know that I need to get used to birth control
that one day, and probably soon
I'll need it.

It's 2018, and I've been active for months,
I never miss a pill
I do everything right
my routine is a well-oiled machine
I use other methods as back-up even though it isn't cheap
I've been using a period tracking app for months
and it is never wrong.
But soon I'm five days late for my period
and awake till 3 am believing that my life is over
I'm supposed to go to college in a month,
I'm supposed to be responsible
How could I be so stupid?
How could I be so irresponsible?
My period is seven days late, but it comes while I'm working
and I bleed through my clothes.
I'm a bartender now, so I tie a sweatshirt around my waist
until my mother brings me what I need.
I want to cry out in relief
and I wonder why I suffered in silence,
and might have been punished alone
even though my crimes were aided and abetted.

It is 2019 and 19 states are pushing new
intrusive abortion restrictions and "heartbeat bills"
and women protest in blood red robes and white bonnets
that hide their faces and their person-hoods
that are being degraded
in favor of the person-hood of a pea.

It is 2019, and though it is not the first time,
I feel scared to be a woman.

These are the things we were not supposed to worry about.

. i'm not an alcoholic, i'm an intermediating construct of blues... i think more about blank canvas i am to fill, than the next drink 'm about to have....

why give a dog's *******'s care
concerning yourself with
whst other other,
proper, "sober", sensible people
make of your?

  i guess an inhibition of
a lost verse...

       in poetry we call that a quais
take on a paragraph...

   something akin to:
the same worth of the worth of
something worth losing...
get the drift?!

  Clive Owen...
Denzel Washington,
Brian Molko...

now?
breed me, a ******* hybrid Q
your nag hammadi perfectionism!
you trans-gender
eucharist!

   breed me an example
to my specification!
breed it!
show me the Frankenstein!
breed it!

       i want wolf ***** "ingested"
in women subjects!
i, WANT, THEM!
               you want the Frankenstein
monster?
first you need the mad doctor...
you have me...
cuffed and teasing!

     i am,. dying to waake from
what is death, and what is death assured,
in the fork form of, shadow...

   you, want, the monster...
i am giving your the antithesis
of the nameless
caricature of
what man's capability!

            i need it, whatever "it", is...
       i will not sleep till this "thing"
is awake in the womb
of my cognition...
and i know of its wake!

                 it's funeral a birth,
it's birth,
banshee screech!
                 the failed Polish
winged hussar charge against
the Ukranian Cossack upriing,
thick, in, mud...

                        i have the desires
to damage marking
banknotes...
      Shelley will always outlast
the credibility of Austen...

    Mary contra Jane...

       horror...
Frankenstein monsters...
vampires...
     werewolves...
she's the third of the canon!

  you don't do that!
you can't do that!
                but you did, do that!

there is a shadow of man,
he dares to call history
to contra the visage for the excuses
of journalism...

     not here... not now...

  as a young boy,
i dreamed of mingling the ***** of
wolves, being impregnated
in human females...
        i guess, as a treat...
to alleviate
the existing product
                 of down syndrome'

what?
what is science?
if not the reinvigorated
perpetuation of
trans-categorical inquiry?

p.s. when i drink?
the last "thing" on my mind
is the activity of drinking,
notably, for socially unhinged
barriers to be broken...
i'm an anti-social drinker...
i hate conversation,
esp. when drinking...
a ******* desert,
when it comes to
             the calorie intake!

Icy tangs are all the early morning, budding its flower
The young mother born into the sonata of her own being
That seems so foreign to thick sheltered blood,
My adult notch in this Exquisite Rotation.

Humid skies are as spy glasses to the truth
So says the colossus with our sun for an eye;
She steps out of the illusion beautifully blue
Robed in silks of celestial gold;
The skin hangs taught over the most beautiful
Pair of collarbones you’ve ever seen
The pass of your previous life comes in sublime waves
Of crashing aether and all the souls flee with irreclaimable mirth
Before popping in the atmosphere like spit and wishes
And everyday is the day of rest, a pondering
Of avant-gardens where a savior once walked.
He and his church left the path of the geese
For, he hears not, the pass of prayer on their lips.
But, I do not blame them: their mouths are full
With the sky’s drawstrings, reinvigorated from their disuse,
They’ve no time for the good word.
My family of geese fly for the astral bodies’ abode above
Where the casual speak of poets, philosophers can be hears
Talking about their *** lives, talking about themselves
No longer galvanized by their own recreations.

And as I go to place this thing in the place of pain
Warm rushes in the shifting life-force, the green of
Exuberant joy hits our hydrophobic throats
And we exhale, watching it roll back as the geese fly overhead
With no mind or reason why.

I'm making a killing  
These are some
******* true feeling's
Let the ******* haters hate
Look at the hatred I've made
Oh **** you deleted me
Shame you won't be able to read this
Guess I'll have to grab a mic
And scream this out loud,
Show you what you made me do now
Razor blade cuts aren't enough
How much longer till I O.D.
On all of these drugs
Think I've lost my mind?
Guess that's something
We will see in time

I bled for you
Ran a river of red for you
Screamed your name in pain
Cut incisions into my veins
I've cried for you, lied for you
The repayment you made
Was leaving me,

What is this hurt
Why all this confusion
Clouded judgement
Increased delusion
Shaking, trembling
Falling apart
Lost myself in you
Lose myself in art
Paint me black and blue
Because I beat myself up
For losing you

I hate when I see your face
It reminds me of your taste
It reminds of the kisses you gave
Yeah your lipstick stains
All over my face
And now all I have
is this sadness in me
And my anger boils deep inside of me
And way too many times I've lost control
Laying on the cold hard floor
Naked and chained
All these blood red stains  
Losing my way,
disconnected in my brain
From all the shame
Not strong enough
to take the blame

I bled for you
Ran a river of red for you
Screamed your name in pain
Cut incisions into my veins
I've cried for you, lied for you
The repayment you made
Was leaving me,

What is this hurt
Why all this confusion
Clouded judgement
Increased delusion
Shaking, trembling
Falling apart
Lost myself in you
Lose myself in art
Paint me black and blue
Because I beat myself up
For losing you

All this rage,
my body feels so strange
Must be all these pills I take
There is a light fading in this dark place
Scratches, bite marks, bruises
From the push and shove
Saliva sprays from your face
Screaming, yelling, so much hurt
From jagged edged words
Blades penetrate hoping to numb the pain
Pills just to calm you down
Before violence sets in
And all this sweat
is flooding out of my skin
Eyes dilate, increased heart rate
All these reasons
I'm losing my way
Fading away, my skies are grey
Is this the reason I've lost my place

I bled for you
Ran a river of red for you
Screamed your name in pain
Cut incisions into my veins
I've cried for you, lied for you
The repayment you made
Was leaving me,

What is this hurt
Why all this confusion
Clouded judgement
Increased delusion
Shaking, trembling
Falling apart
Lost myself in you
Lose myself in art
Paint me black and blue
Because I beat myself up
For losing you

The guilt kicks in
Tears run down these cheeks
Bedrooms dark,
thoughts become bleak
Haven't eaten for a week
All these feelings consuming me
Torture my heart, ripping it apart
All these drugs just aren't enough
To cleanse me of all my mistakes
Tried locking all the memories away
And nothing seems to be working for me
I'm pushing through each day
Looking for a reason to live
And everything I've tried to give
Hope has been stolen out of my pocket
I've been left an empty shell of nothing
Thought I was something
When I was with you
Truth is I'm nothing
unless I have you
To keep me grounded
You were the one
that reinvigorated my soul
You were the one that brought me up
When I was low
When you were around
I never felt alone
You were my safety, my home.

I bled for you
Ran a river of red for you
Screamed your name in pain
Cut incisions into my veins
I've cried for you, lied for you
The repayment you made
Was leaving me,

What is this hurt
Why all this confusion
Clouded judgement
Increased delusion
Shaking, trembling
Falling apart
Lost myself in you
Lose myself in art
Paint me black and blue
Because I beat myself up
For losing you

©2017 Written By Benji James

Your kiss on my lips, leaves your fragrance
My sweetheart my body is filled with essence
Now you command over my mind as credence
My ode you have reinvigorated my cadence

We communicate lips to lips and heart to heart
You are so sweet energetic so beautiful so smart
Your beauty you love carries me from the start
Oh gorgeous wonderful exuberant piece of art

Let me cherish let me celebrate every moment
I see you on clear blue sky as a beautiful crescent
Let love and beauty go hand in hand in agreement
You are my beauty princess and I am your aspirant

Col Muhammad Khalid Khan
Copyright 2016 Golden Glow

Sitting quietly at the table, held in place by rusted shackles,
Embracing my bone-like phalanges in death's grip.
At the fringes of my vision, I note a horrid little creature,
Attempting to circumvent the Master's desire to flay me to pieces.
Begging for my life, as he fears dark aloneness in this drear abode.
The septum wall of my heart barely containing my blood,
As it pounds through its chambers, racing to my extremities, only to return once more,
more slowly, to be reinvigorated with vital oxygen again.
Eyes glazing as the Master approaches, demanding why I should be spared,
When I have disobeyed him, sparing that family from death's harsh embrace.
Shaking in this stone cold chair, my posterior aching from hours of discomfort,
I can only beg mercy of a merciless creature, who's only need of me, is absolute obeyance.
My only ability to coax unsuspecting families to relinquish their souls for this foul creatures pleasure.
My heart recognizing how low I have become to continue with this wretched life.
And, finally with the only spark of humanity remaining to me, I scream my defiance,
And as I had hoped, received a final blow, releasing me from this plane.

I deserted from the paradise to explore the universe
Because God made me excellent but also just diverse
I wanted to be considered at length while I was terse
With visions to explore horizons to be more transverse

I came across a sand dunes with its real musical tunes
Then I saw beauty with very many galaxies and moons
Love came down to me like drizzling rain in monsoons
A fairy in her golden dress came to me for honeymoons

Beam of light struck to complete the pursuit of my soul
A glowing beauty touched my heart as my ultimate goal
Sentiments started moving from part to part ,pole to pole
Love reinvigorated celebrated in shape of love as a whole

Col Muhammad Khalid Khan
Copyright 2016 Golden Glow

Its a year later
the same man
the ghost from before
I see now
full of life
like a remastered disney movie

skin now with color
spirit reinvigorated
words with meaning
thoughts other then escape
desires deeper
than the bliss he sought after
from before

but his eyes remain the same
his pupils
battered and bruised
they say more than he says

his eyes remain in the past
shackled by what he was
unrestorable
like an over exposed negative


Im still working on this, ide be happy to here critiques

At the time as leaves nestled
a hushed acquaintance
brushed by as Autumn.
Healing beneath his tongue
He tasted Maraschino again.
His bloodstream reinvigorated
by these changes
eagerly suspending disbelief.

At the time the wind stood still
he found discarded keys
to an Autumnal hut
and  bounded opened its door
he felt the joy of those  sprouted aliums
Which he hurriedly planted in a drill

She wants me to kiss on her petals of lips
For which she is ready to give all the tips
This is how beautifully takes me in grips
Love has been reinvigorated to take trips

When I embrace her warmth touches soul
Love and beauty mingle from pole to pole
In ecstasy and passion I just forget my role
Heaven dawns on me when she offer whole

Has love witnessed such charm of beauty
Where love and beauty are just totally free
In a state of trance she surpasses every sea
How I state what fortune of love could be

Col Muhammad Khalid Khan
Copyright 2016 Golden Glow

Losers Can't be Choosers
My love is at stake my brain is in conflict
My rivals are clever my beloved is my force
I am reinvigorated by taking it but intact
I am but just nothing but my stance is source

I believe in fair play I take but my stance
Which is straightforward,frank and straight
You can play tricks but do not take chance
My enemies are in darkness but I am in light

Light dictates me the way to which proceed
I will be the winner and they will be the losers
My love is my quality and my strength indeed
Let me declare the fact losers can't be choosers

Col Muhammad Khalid Khan
Copyright 2017 Golden Glow

reinvigorated by an atmosphere
creative juices flow
seems a lifetime since I sat
surrounded by stories of religion
having a 'god' experience –
memories flood through barred windows
as smiling familiar faces
dressed all in blue
great me with love and acceptance
again –
gratefulness hardly encompasses
this blessing
the joy
of this holy union
blessed by our love
for one and other –
same speckled tables
same off-white chairs
same same same
yet
so very different—
growth and change shine
similarities shift
re-membering a sacred membership
and once again
sharing this time –

Sensually she is so charming and so alluring
She  reinvigorated my ****** drive in spring
In that sling like a king I am bound to just sing
To strive to dive to drive and to revive in string

To be on swing to go up to the clear blue sky
To kiss stars and galaxies just like a bird to fly
To be with the inner beauty just an eye to eye
In that flight of love with beauty to be just sly

I can explain the taste of those beautiful lips
The zigzag journey between hillocks and hips
I can not explain the taste of dips and  grips
What an experience of those trips without strips

Col Muhammad Khalid Khan
Copyright 2016 Golden Glow

My love come be in arms and make night colorful
In this way you will touch the galaxies all above
And both of us will win this beautiful life battle
We have the honesty and clarity of heart my dove

You will have wonderful dreams to just celebrate
You will not be able to forget these golden moments
People will be envious of wonderful fortune so great
Time will keep in its annals all these beautiful prints

My sweetheart I will remember this sweet embrace
My body will nurture your essence and sweet fragrance
I will feel reinvigorated in this wonderful solace
For ever you will remain my princesses and I am prince

Col Muhammad Khalid Khan
Copyright @017 Golden Glow

My Master is being kind keeps me happy under all circumstances
Ignores all, chance after chance just gives me very many chances
Helps me to encounter all difficulties as well as difficult challenges
He overlooks my all sins and actions and whatever over indulgences

Under sheer disgust and disappointments I always look towards Him
When I become seriously ill and all healers make me hopeless and grim
His kindness prevails over and empowers all odd situations up to brim
I love you at the peril of my life I bow in front of you with just my whim

My dearest God My ultimate Love ,Truth and Beauty let me praise
My soul is reinvigorated with Your Love phrase just in every phase
Under complete love and affection I want to touch glory with craze
When Satan sways and strays in negligence only God correct my ways

Col Muhammad Khalid Khan
Copyright 2016 Golden Glow

It's strange to ponder about just what brought this revelation about.
They key now swings silently around my neck.
Lulling the air about into a mirage of sorts.
Yet as I frantically rub my eyes for clarity.
The image stayed vibrant and resilent.
Although it seemed to have aged in the time since I first looked upon it.
Claw like marks gouged the frame.
It seems to have been reforged.
With blood and steel.
Giving it a cold and bitter demeanor.
Yet as I place my hand on the weathered scars.
Am I filled with a roaring zeal.
I bellow a battle cry that reverberates through time itself.
This typhoon of emotion surrounds my senses.
Dizzy from the constant swirling and repetitive motions.
I pray for a salvation that still seems so far off.
But giving up now would bare no fruit.
So I greet it with a smile and a reinvigorated rage.
And await the moment that the calm calls for such renown.

at one moment you are lying on that heated floor
with a person you feel your affections grow
next moment, a figure from far appears
and you have become seemingly disposable

you are not owed an explanation
at why the plans have suddenly changed
new love, fresh air and reinvigorated spirit
seemingly do not extinguish an old flame

perhaps, in fact, it has fanned it to grow
and while the smoke and falling walls crumble
from a house of love that was not even yet plastered
its another painful blow and an even more hurtful tumble

The light of a new day just started tumbling over the horizon.  A slight southerly breeze salutes the silhouetted trees.  I make my way quietly out of the house to meet an old friend. His excited ding ding ding welcomes me as I open the door.  We have made this journey many times before, and we both know this is the last.  

The road is a curious thing.  Born out of need, and more importantly, ingenuity.  She calls from the edge of darkness.  An insatiable siren that has beckoned, and not been resisted by, restless sojourners.  As I make my way onto the interstate I hear her song clearly.

The jewels of the road are in your heart.  The path is the same no matter who you are.  Let your soul turn the wheel of fate.  You'll soon arrive safely at heavens hate.

Miles and miles of fields and barns.  Rusted out windmills guard the ghosts of yesterday. An occasional whiff of soon to be bacon burns my nostrils.   I have 20 hours of bliss ahead of me.  My friend quietly hums as children with hopeful faces silently wave.

The oft overlooked Missouri River separates me from my first border.  My heart races.  I feel like a conquering hero with the blood of a dragon on my sword.

The prepubescent flatness of the land continues.  I've entered the land of the Big Red.  Flags, helmets, and banners adorn every house. A religion that would only work in a desolate land full empty people.  

A blue sign points towards rest and the promise of snacks.  I am greeted by the weary.  Bags under their eyes and children clinging to their legs.  We nod at each other with a certain understanding.  I splash icy water on my face, possibly refreshed for a moment, and head to Vend O' World.  For a measles sum the envy of the culinary world awaits my deft touch.  B2 it is.  My fate is sealed.

Welcome to Colorful Colorado. On a brown sign nonetheless.  Only a few hours until I race among the lifelines of the giants. Cattle chew thoughtlessly beneath the blazing sun.  Death is all over the interstate.  Guts, brains, and gore.  Ain't progress grand?  

The illuminated hat promises thin sliced beef. The saliva flows like a unimpeded river.  A muffled voice greets me with the rehearsed verse of an untrustworthy worker.  I grab the bag greedily, almost dropping it on account of the grease.  Ahhhh that really hit the spot.  Donde esta el bano?

I'm driving through the sky.
I knew that I could fly.
But I think I'm going to cry
Because that curve up ahead
Is filling me with great dread
If I falter then I'll be quite dead.

I stop for a moment to take in the celestial view.  I may grab some of those pearls for my future wife. The air is so piny pure. I'm reinvigorated but need some rest.  

There is frost on the windshield.  I scrape it off with a frisbee I find in the trunk.  I turtle my way down the mountain. The scene changes quite suddenly and I enter the desert as I cross state lines.

A calming peace sweeps over my body.  I am at one with the landscape and she is one with me.  Together we dance slowly.  A great vastness of nothing. A solitary land with no visible life but yet teeming with creation. Tears slowly fill my eyes.  True love at least.  Will it be reciprocated?  Only time will tell.

The purple of the night surrounds me as I enter the gorge.  Imposing buttes and mountain curves keep my knuckles white. A clearing awaits with sad trailers, forming a community, standing in the desert.  But maybe I misjudged. A bonfire of sorts shows the dancing of some sort of festival.

I come up over a ridge and a magnificent sights unfolds.  The glittering gold of hope.  An oasis for the degenerate addict.  I press on the gas as adrenaline fills my being.  It's time to make my mark on this world.  Like a lamb to slaughter I squeal and turn into the city.

My love let me taste your wine in prime
Be my guest to make me real appraiser
Allow me to kiss the flowers in springtime
Let my heart and soul to be in love to stir

Your sensual youth takes me to the height
I am really reinvigorated and intoxicated
Light of your beauty make me to the flight
You my love are so sweet and really gifted

Let me take you in, in my heart and soul
Let me be the guard of your beauty in trance
You are my faith my life my sweet goal
Let me be your lover, take chance after chance

Col Muhammad Khalid Khan
Copyright 2016 Golden Glow

A thought may evaporate,
    But never fear for those that
Disappear into the cloud of forgotten
                  Memory, will one day rain down anew
Fresh and rethought.
           And as new ideas descend splashing
Down on your reinvigorated thoughts.

Love is a flowing river or a trickling brook?
Where beauty can smilingly open its book
This is how I want to enhance my outlook
Let me see from near let me have close look

Your fragrance takes me along with wind
Let me forget painful moments to rescind
Only pleasure should dance along to amend
Let me embrace you being more disciplined

I thought about you and still I love to think
With your glowing cheeks and lips so pink
With open bottle of beauty let me to drink
Reinvigorated in the taste we came to brink

Col Muhammad Khalid Khan
Copyright 2014 Golden Glow

Burning Spell
My love is awakening my intuition to give
Me the power to see all the possibilities in front
She wants me to her *****-knot to live
So in my sheer love I have to pay the brunt

At times eyes commit a sin at times it is heart
At times it is but sweet red lips and at times graces
But if this sin is committed its difficult to depart
Heart being reinvigorated comes up and embraces

Love is love with lot many shades and colors
Only lover understands the intensity of the fire
For others it is conflict in mid which just blurs
Love is a burning spell takes one to the desire

Col Muhammad Khalid Khan
Copyright 2017 Golden Glow

A young little girl,
numb, complicated, and insignificant.
Pained, rejected, and craved for affection,
Searching for someone like you to fill my emptiness.
Somehow you found me when I needed you the most.
A young woman packed with the responsibility of an isolated child requiring a lifetime of attention.  
An immediate connection was formed beyond my comprehension.
You quickly became my hero.
Someone I admired and loved.
Someone I hoped to become.
You cradled and moved me into your life.
I watched and learned from you.
Showing me what unconditional love was.
Guiding me to chase my dreams and accomplish
my goals.
Believing in me when I couldn't.
Deciding I was significant enough to take the time in coaching me to believe in myself.
Delivering me with hope.
Surrounding me with beauty making the ugliness around me less painful.
Investing in me and making me feel worthy.
You became my family, an image I didn't entirely recognize was essential until I met you.

You were the mother I always wanted.
You wrapped your arms around my soul twenty five years ago and never let go.  
Your warmth still protects me today.
Providing consistency and stability in my life of chaos.
Showing me that I could be loved.
Instilling morals, work ethic, values, and kindness with every conversation you had with me.  
You carried me when I needed you,
and trusted me enough to let me fall at times.
Helping me collect and glue the pieces of my mistakes back together.
Passing on your knowledge and wisdom.
Allowing for my immaturity and ignorance to flee.
You continued to be my hero as our relationship strengthened.

You were my teacher.
Teaching me of my endless potential.
Giving me a crash course on the fundamentals of education, by making me understand them.
Showing me how to correct my wrongs, and how to avoid repeating them.
Giving me everything I missed out on.
Teaching me how to love others and how to live in the world I felt so alienated from.

You were my sister, always with the best advice.
There to see things from a more global and wiser perspective.
Permiting me to broaden my vision of circumstances.
Looking up to you, and seeking your approval.

You were my best friend; most cherished and most respected.
Understanding me fully, and accepting all my flaws.
Fun times, plenty of laughs, and dancing the nights away.
Consoling me during my breakdowns.
The friend I could spend every waking moment with, and never wanting to part.
Missing you when we weren’t together.

Somewhere between my graduation, wedding day, and the birth of my children.
Something amazing happened.
A combination of all these established time capsuled relationships evolved.
One reinvigorated relationship.  
A unique bond that can never be replicated or explained.
Every time I think of you, my cluttered mind becomes simplified as I smile with appreciation.
Having you by my side, a precious gift.
My hectic thoughts elude me leaving me with one word.
Hero!
I am the outcome of your love and support.
You helped shape me and continue to do so.
You will always have an unbreakable link to my heart.
You are and always will be my hero :)

© Jl 2015

I guess it’s time to write something new
Since i’ve only just been introduced to you
You’ve helped me question my way of living
Reinvigorated my world and made me driven
Without you it seems I would’ve been stuck
In a paradox where there wouldn’t be us
But as I watch my **** and I write these poems
I think about your words and recite my omens
Of how I’m destined to be greater than man
Cause if anybody can do it then this black boy can
But for now i’ll stay within theses four walls
And keep calm when the beckoning calls
Believe me you’ll be right there by my side
You and I making sure that the world is mine
For you, for them, for us, forever.

The Goddess whispers love
And I am enchanted
But it’s not for me
She writes it perfectly
Passion verbally exploding
Reminding me
How lonely
It is to be
Me

Stanza after stanza of passion
Each syllable is a finger
Forcefully plunged into my heart
She impales me
Stabbing deeply
Slicing from throat to sac
Then around the back
And bleeding me in reverse

In her words
Dull emotions
Are reinvigorated
Phantom organs
Come to life again
Then
Melt away
Cause the facts say
That I will never ever
Be loved in such
A beautiful way

My life is like a barren desert and your beauty is like rain
Let me quench my constant thirst with each drop to come
It is who in the entire world who can understand my pain
I am just bonded in difficulties only you can give freedom

Your company gives me fortune even if I am just deserted
Your graces make me reinvigorated to live and to survive
You style and charms make me more straight and candid
Your beauty is like a deep green ocean let me dive , strive

What is on surface that may not be deep down as a whole
At times looking deep is just sham to deceive the partner
The ocean does not like a body which is just with out soul
Life is but a set of chain reactions let me open a new chapter

Col Muhammad Khalid Khan
Copyright 2016 Golden Glow

Footsteps:

I hear my own footsteps in the snow as I walk forever alone toward nowhere. In search of anyone, my footsteps speak to me and remind me that I am truly alone.  I yearn to see a fox run by.  I yearn for the singing of birds.  Even a wasp sting to possibly wake me up from this nightmare.  I have forgotten music. The tones even evade my dreams.  I do the same in my dreams. Walk and walk forever.  Only the sound of footsteps while I'm awake and asleep.

Toward the school:  

I come upon an old school. The empty playgrounds convey a sadness of missing the children that once played on it. I come to a realization that the playground is not sad. Its only what I sense and feel.  Had I never found this playground I would have never felt such sadness.  And this playground perhaps would have simply never existed.  But I found it and now the sadness has created its own atmosphere. I sit on the swing and feel a spark of joy that seems to come from the playground itself.  The spark never ignites a flame as the short-found joy is drowned in sorrow by my emotions that created the joy for the playground itself.  I stop swinging and center myself in this endless loneliness.  I enter the school through double doors as one is left open.  Again, I have a sense that the building itself is inviting me in.  Another emotion given to a lifeless structure of bricks and concreate.  

The halls at night:

I wonder through the halls of this emotionless school and aimlessly walk toward a destination the hallways would simply take me.  I get a feeling the hallways are guiding me toward a salvation of sort. As if the inner workings of the school itself are alive and I am trying to find a heart to beat.  Maybe I am the heart, and I am trying to get the flow back.  But perhaps I'm just lost in thought again and I am making this up as I go.  The moon starts to breathe in its light into the hallways through the windows as it uncovers itself from the blanket of clouds.  The luminescent breath of the moon creates a beautiful eeriness that only ghost could paint.  I venture forth and up the stairs through a darkness that is afraid of the moonlight. I stand in the darkness for a moment to try and comfort it.  But why?  This darkness nest in a corner just out of reach of the moonlit rapture that has taken all the other darkness it shines upon.  Knowing this darkness was safe I traverse the dark stairway into another hallway above.  

The colors of the cloud:

The final hallway the stairway of darkness lifted me to seemed longer than the others. The moon light kissed the dust specks in the air turning them into moving floating stars in an expanse of tranquilly that called forth the memory of music.  I began to breathe heavily as the tones from silence rang my ears with notes and chords brought on by visual stimulation that I thought was impossible. How could a visual create sound?  As the dust in the moonlight danced the dance of shadow and light, I heard a constant tone and vibration of ambient heaven like belief.  As I walked through the floating vault of heaven I came to a L in the hallway. This hallway was untouched by the moon spells and floating stardust. In this hallway every window emitted a different color all its own.  As if lightning of every color flashed its arc cutting through the sky and bleeding into the windows.  I walked through the hallway and could not seem to find a source of the aura of colors this hallway had become.  At the end of the hallway was a grand window that seem to have all the colors cycling through all at once.  As I reached this window, I saw a cloud in the sky made up of all colors I have ever seen. It had a chaotic oscillation of lightning bolts that lit up the sky without the mercy toward any type of darkness whatsoever. The beauty of this cloud reinvigorated my soul.  I was breathing in the light.  With every breath thunder roared across eternity.  All colors started to return.  And I could hear the music. In all directions I went.  Over the land and over the oceans.  Through deserts and mountains.  Life has awakened once again.  I am the sky, and I am the land. I feel the life upon me as the life believes in me.

Let my beloved take you to the real love line
Where I will be totally yours and you are mine
Let love to flow in stream of love beauty to shine
My sweetheart candle of light be really divine

When air whispers in my ear to tell about you
I feel myself reinvigorated through and through
Romance increases when your curves give clue
Let us be straightforward to declare rendezvous

How come some one may interfere to take chance
On eternal tune of universe let's dance let's dance
Beauty is on its real peak love is but in real trance
Whatever is the price I will pay for the love glance

Col Muhammad Khalid Khan
Copyright 2017 Golden Glow

If you close wine houses it will not affect me
Because I drink from her eyes soft pure wine
This is just available in every season on plea
That she is a fountain of wine which is mine

With an eye to eye contact I get intoxicated
My passion takes me to source of pleasure
My heart is refined,soul is just reinvigorated
As from hidden place I find all the treasure

My beloved what I say nothing but to seek
Magnanimity of charm,simplicity of grace
From heart to heart and from cheek to cheek
Let my love eternal embrace from pace to pace

Col Muhammad Khalid Khan
Copyright 2017 Golden Glow

With his full greed and lust Satan runs in my blood
Makes my lust and sensuality to stir like violent flood
All beauty of the world starts blossoming like a bud
My soul is reinvigorated my strength makes me stud

My all emotions arise my love takes all beauty to ****
From every green branch all flowers I want to pluck
My youth is at its peak so every beauty wants to struck
My love is on fire her beauty is ready to play havoc

My life has its ******* sentiments touch the green sky
With my sweetheart I want to dangle dance and to fly
Every beauty should be ready to give my love just a try
Love is at its peak beauty is ready to kiss from eye to eye

World is so beautiful with chains of society and religion
All these hurdles make me take my taste and just run
All is but transitory carrying all its pun with all fun
When I see love and beauty ,priest and nun one on one

Col Muhammad Khalid Khan
Copyright 2016 Golden Glow

My sweetheart your starry eyes take you to trance
Where you encounter love to embrace and celebrate
Moon and galaxies take you to space to give chance
To see reality of love, to bloom to activate and sedate

You carry beauty of universe in your heart and soul
Love is instigating you to be on the route to bloom
Your lovely style and charms, help you to achieve goal
Being reinvigorated to be delighted to resume ,presume

All world under your feet and the sky in your arms
Takes different shades to your beauty to cherish and grow
Love is in search of you precisely considering all norms
To take you along on its path to fully glow and to show

Love and beauty when take over each other to be on fire
All darkness of surroundings changes in to light to delight
When hidden desires come out of attire to willfully aspire
The nothing remains in sight changes sight to just insight

Col Muhammad Khalid Khan
Copyright 2016 Golden Glow