I know that insecurity isn't pretty,
which is how I also know that I'm not beautiful
All of you were my whole existence
My life line – my sanity
You didn't know my inner world
I may have spoken of dancing
Wanting to stand on mountain tops
You put me high on a golden pedestal
“You can do anything!” you said with admiration
I wasn't the one you believed me to be
I wasn't your savior or your superhero
Inside my fears were magnifying
Like a bubble that would burst
A ticking time bomb
Nothing to hold on to
Rolling down hill
Faster and faster
Scratches, cuts and bruises
Black and blue
Inside and out
I was never coming back
but I am still here
...terrified you won’t like me anymore...
Oh, woman, dear, don’t be so insecure;
You’re only hurting yourself when you are insecure.
Look at the mirror and see how beautiful you are,
You don’t need to feel bad and to be insecure.
When you see others smile and happy in their lives,
Can’t you just smile for them and not feel insecure?
When someone deserves a prize, an award for his deed,
Would you aim to claim it because you’re insecure?
When someone stands now in a place where you dream,
Would you pull him down there when you feel insure?
When someone’s being praised for an excellent work,
Would you make some sour grapes- deeds of an insecure?
Yes, you are stealing a moment of your own joy,
Every moment that you’re jealous and you feel insecure.
You used to course
through my veins before I knew it.
Seeping into every part of me.
I knew only to succumb....
Like a drug taking over against all will.
Now you have found a way to become
an entity that sits before me.
Staring me down in hopes of success.
Oh what a joy to be able to
stare back and simply walk away.
I see horny girls
lusting after my boyfriend
I see them sending winks
and hearts and showing
some extra tanned skin
lace bras and bright red lipsticks
and heels higher than my self esteem
Maybe it is jealousy
Or maybe it is reality
One thing I know for sure;
I'm definitely going crazy
all these pretty people
with fucking flawless skin
to contain their confident
i look in the mirror
and i cry
i can't take what looks back at me
its agonizing imperfections
and taunting discontentment
tonight i want to die
but i won't tomorrow
so i hold on
despite hating myself entirely
I’ll stay in this coffee shop and write about you everyday if I have to
You’re that beautiful
You are so beautiful,
yet so unaware of it
I want to paint a picture of your beauty and place it onto the other side of your eyelids, so that every single time you blinked...
You’d see what I see, in you...