I believe we once met
in a faraway land,
on a different epoch,
and only your name resounds
recalling us back to this time
'I recognized your soul at first glance'
Oh hear the sound of the wind
the echoes are the only ones
that transcribe the beats of our hearts
retracing us back to epiphany
that we were once in love
in a different place in time
'we are etched into each other's entity'

— I miss you each and everyday

Should I give up
on a chance that cannot be
To our story
that never even began
Am I just being petty?
We have not even started yet
Did I just leave the pages unset?
It’s just starting to unfold
Or have I really loss it? I believe
We haven't even given a chance
To our story that only has a page

Even as I want to take a step further, closer to your lane
I am still asking myself to restrain
For I am afraid of what you might think of me
Once you look my way

— Leap of faith

I find myself yearning
for your sunlight
instead of shade
I want to be the reason
of your blossoming days
For your smiles to curve
to gleeful laughs
For your eyes to form
thin as petals
Like the wind blowing near
your voice's music to my ears
You fill my lips
with flowery words to say
Like any other end of summer
I feel myself a bit warmer
As I find myself like the leaves
I fall for you more each day

The sun has already set
but you seem to shine
as usual with your yellow sweater
Though your gaze serious and halt
my heart did the opposite
the moment your eyes laid on mine

Like the sun, he was shining
As an admirer, I could only watch from afar

Ever since you,
I stopped wishing on airplanes
And I looked beyond the stars
Ahead, I prayed to the Divine
for our fateful meeting

— I have prayed for you

Your smiles and your laugh enough
can bring the sun to shame
Your colors enough, so perfect
to pop up the hues,
for them to show through

For me, he screamed vibrant yellow
under the pale July morning
He seemed to capture me in a distance
For the longest, I have been a sunflower
drooping down low
Till your rays come shining down on me;
you're the warmth I never saw coming
Ever since that day you passed me by
I've been wishing for another chance
can I ask you to give me another glance?
I want to get closer, I want to get near
For us to get to know each other all the more
You have been the one I'm praying for
For now I can only look at you at bay
I'll just go on and reach your hand
when I'll get the chance to ask you to stay

that smile of yours
was the start of it all
it caused war zones
down my chest
up to my head

how beautiful you are
could I compare?
a thousand diamonds
laid out up there

a simple glimmer of your eyes
with the swift gesture of your hand
you swept me off my feet

you, turned into my world
I’m a satellite
orbiting around a planet called ‘you’
I will look out for you
through the ends of time
till the last bits of flames
the sun can ought to fume;
to the brim
till my heart can no longer take it

for you, my eyes formed rivers
turn into the clouds
I look up high
your eyes dark as the night sky
You shine the brightest
A star I ought to reach
And down low, I turn
I fell
along the teardrops of my heart
for you, my heart belongs, my dearest

for you have taught me what is more
to be in love
‘thank you’
you not only thought me of the word
but the meaning
to the roots so deep

but love can be cruel
more when you have to be sorry

I just want to pull you close to mine
to stand side by side
without having to think
of where I stand in line

— I have accepted it.

let me sing you a song
of a mermaid that once passed
can you not hear it
wailing in the distance?
by the raging seas
that was once calm waters
even after its last breath
the spirits of the waters it once swam on
still lingers in the oceans so deep
can my voice haunt you in your sleep?
even then listen to its calling
its sorrowful melody
how it’s missing the land
it never once kissed
remember the tune
so when you’re in need of company
come look up the moon
as it once became the light
of a lonely siren I came to be
this is how I miss you every night
I was always calling your name
but never heard by thee
as I have always been pleading
under the deep blue sea
'please remember me till you sleep'

'You are my star, but we all reach that point in life that we no longer wish into one.'

Moving forward to a year, I trace upon the letter I wrote for you.

With the smile on my face, I look up the night sky.  I am reminded of how your eyes shine brightly at the scene, and the mole beneath your eye resembles so much of the dots laid up high.

I let out a big sigh. How different it is by this time...

I realized now that we are two of the same; two bright stars. Glowing and burning embers on their own.

We're both coexisting to shine, though we cannot meet for one of us fell for the other too deep already.

A falling star, I cried to you; a shooting star.

How can our stars align? Our paths and distance don’t comply. Far and far across galaxies. You blinded me by that sight. My light cannot compare to yours.

My dearest, you shot too high up the skies to live on your dreams.

And mine just remained being one.

I just feel so homesick all the time, whenever you're not here with me. I just count on the days on the ticking of the clock. Till you come by the doorstep, back home to me.

— waiting for a moment that will never happen

In some place safe
breath in the air so fresh
Where leaves dance through the wind
and how the sunlight kiss my skin
I just want to hold your hand
Intertwined to one another
under a full-bloom tree
A place where every birds sing,
where no voices left unheard
Is it too much to ask
to reach out for faces to listen?
Let me leave traces down your back
with my fingers gently
circling a path down your skin
Let my tongue be heard beyond echoes
Let my wishes and love in tune,
free as the seas and as how stars roam
throughout the horizons
Can’t my wounds be healed by thee?
Just by the warmth of your hand is the key
Let me get lost into the vast oceans of your soul
At least let this prayer be given a chance to speak
In some place safe,
a haven for the two of us
I beg— will be this be brought out to life?
Let this not be in the caverns of my mind,
in the deepest cores of my beating heart,
in the near future will it be?
Someday, somewhere, maybe—
Please
I just want it to come true
I’ll not ask for anything else
I’m willing for my heart to bleed

I'll just stay up
since I cannot
let you off my mind.

— wide awake in thoughts of you

You keep me up with thoughts of you
like any other nights
When I think of how your eyes
would wrinkle up to the sides of your face
as you let out a genuine smile

With my fingers evident with smudged lead,
and words flow on paper
of how ethereally beautiful you are

How your existence would surpass tenfold
the radiance of the passing cars
of the busy midnight streets

Oh I just wish to spend a night awake in your arms,
with my fingers in between yours
under the covers of my sheets
The bed doesn't make me want to sleep

They couldn't give me comfort
unlike your smile
that can bring the sun rays to shame
You could not compare to thousand starlights

Your eyes surrender to sleep
And your feeble yawn—
Let us call it the night

Should I really put faith in myself? But the thought of you being miles away from me, how can I even assure I can look after you the way I can make you stay? The way that you'll want to choose me?

I want you to leave traces of me
shot across the galaxies
scatter my star dust with your words

when we see each other
comfort me with a hello
set me off with a kiss
sing me a song of love
before I let your heart
beat to it

look for me in every person
you have come across with a heartbeat
long for something
that haven’t even touched your lips
please wait for me
as we make way for destiny
hope you and I make this a reality

—please come look for me

a thought of you
can move me to tears,
the exquisite joy
of seeing your smile
with your figure
a bit taller than mine
right up close to me

next to the sadness
that we might never be
like parallel lines,
asymptotes—
oh how lucky are we
if we were just like that

at least you're within my reach
not like this
where you're galaxies away,
apart with these oceans
flooding us away
like the skies pouring hard rain,
these eyes blur my vision up to you
A star that's out of my league

stuck in the same place
over and over
I'm growing tired
faded, to look at the other end
A non-existent thread,
to yours— bled red
something I put up tying to mine
to yours— an invisible line

For once I am lost for words,
hollow, empty of a shell with no home
as we are living in different worlds
I will never see you by the doorstep

We're like two matchsticks
you used to burn up my flames
my eyes lit up looking at you—
burning with passion
wasting no gasoline,
my heart you filled up the brim
— now it's a heart burnout

I used to hold on
and vision it clearly up ahead
with you holding my tired hand
with me looking up to smile
my heart used to race a thousand mile
how is it now this came too soon?
now it's just faded
a scene that's white noise filled
you're fading to black quickly

For once I don't see you
standing on the other side
I've held loose of the rope

I'm no longer scared
or anxious
of what we will come about
A future without you
with these feelings wavering—
How come I vision this clearly?

A story with no ‘we’—
An ending page
and from the beginning
that's where
we're supposed to stand in line

isn’t it sad
when you can visibly see
the embers of a star
slowly dying?
up in the night sky
from a galaxy far away from me
don’t you ever look up
looking for the signs of me?

my dear, I plead
for an apology
nowhere within your reach
I am sorry
for this light to be fading
for letting it cease from existing

my love, I have always been praying
for our dream
that’s never meant to be
to our stars that never will align
not for once, nor till I ever die

my darling, please I beg
for this light to lose its glimmer
‘it’s already dim though’
is there anything I could do?

my dearest, can you not hear me?
at least hear me out on my pleas
in my last twinkle,
please be reminded
that it’s only the light of my remains
this dream has been dead long ago
‘a dream of the impossible’
my light has been long gone,
before then it can reach you

I'm gonna give up this fight
you never once laid your hands on.

— I'll surrender the hopes I fight with

You were never mine,
but you made me feel as if I were
in your arms,
my hands fit so right with yours

You were never mine,
but your songs seems like we once were
By the melody, we are deep in love
With your words of parting
of a meeting that never once occurred

You were never mine
But sometimes I wish you were
Always but I keep myself hidden
I knew—
from the risk of falling
It just cannot be—
So I fall back
Even if I knew it was a moment too soon

You were never mine,
I knew from the start.

You were never mine.
My love, you were never mine to keep

But you made me feel
like I was yours
And you were mine

— la douleur exquise

when can I be sober again?
I want to come back
into my senses again, please

let’s stop drowning for awhile
let’s take a break, heart

we all know it's a lie
deny me when I say
'I want to let you go'
see through my eyes
heal the tears inside
kiss my lips that lie

for once I want to come clean
let me taste being sober
even for just a while

— drunk in you

Must I stay
to know that
I can’t really
let you go?

— not-so-sober thoughts

I’m losing my mind
You took it with you

— take out this heart as well

Is it right or is it wrong
to not ask anything in return
yet wanting to ask for more?
I can be a walking irony
as I make my way closer to you
How can it be
I know that we cannot be
yet risking to cross the seas
to close the gap for a kiss?
Why is it that
the distance between us
cannot drown me
on how far my dream can be—
you're impossible; unattainable
yet why can't I put an end
into these feelings I question
if it's bad or good
to pour on efforts
to soar these emotions still?

gently pull me back
to the currents
of your waves
I've grown to know

why must be apart?
to truly know that our hearts
chose to draw each other closer

— fate leads us to each other

“Why is it you always write about the night?”/ he asks as he sees her scribbling down her thoughts again late at one in the morning.

She turns to him, unfazed and gives him a smile meant for the sun to shine down on.

“Because I feel there’s more sense into them. The night and us have something in common— something only the two us get.”

He lets her words sink into him, now looking over her shoulder with wonder in his eyes. He touches her ink stained fingers, pulling it close to his chaste lips.

“I do feel it.” He nods wholeheartedly, letting his eyes flutter with the beating of his heart echo in each other’s mind. She do hope he feels hers, too.

This is what she meant. It’s the silence and wishes that surrounds them. It’s the serene feeling, the stillness between them, that’s meant to be under the stars and the moonlight casting over their skins.

She finds comfort in the stars as it reminds her of his bright lit eyes. As he feels safe under the moonlight every night; it’s her softness that draws him the same with the moon in the sky.

The moon and the stars will not bat an eye as they just continue to look after you.

It is the night that hears the most silent and powerful prayers from the heart.

And I do hope at some nights, no matter how far we are, he would be awake as I am not visited by sleep— he would think how somewhere out there, there’s someone wishing to be a moon to another like him. There’s also someone wishing to be closer with the stars.

— ironically, I wrote this at dawn.

Are you somewhere sleeping, or wide awake?
Please look up the night sky
think of how I— someone is occupied
by the thoughts of your sharp eyes
Be as is with the dim lights the stars are bringing

These summer nights never seem to play
the cold melody of the air
I am used to hearing
as I let my heart resound your name
Here I call, waiting for the echoes;
any signs from you— where are you now?

My dear, do not fret
You’re the only one I find endearing
Please pass on your worries onto me,
pour out your thoughts
until you’re left with none
Let me seep onto your skin,
play with the soft strands of your hair
Let me whisper you comfort
until the buzzing of the tiring white noise
after a long day from your ears reside

Darling, you are no less than any stars
laid onto the deep velvet sky,
Don't think otherwise
as you’re worth palaces
above the clouds up high

Do not listen to the shadows that tell lies,
just breathe onto me,
let me comfort you with smiles

Until then at least look for me in your dreams
If you’re needing comfort,
or just in need of a shoulder to rest
You can always lean on me

My dear prince,
take me far away
from these murky creeks
of these aimless heads
keeping me low, caged within

My king, the future that will sit on throne
with a crown of roses that colors bleed
How is it you can take the worries away?
Off guard; To you, and for you— I fall
With a snap of your veiny fingers
you trace the patterns of my arms
Passing on warmth
from the pure glow of your heart
And as you have said:
"Falling may be scary
but landing is not"

My wise thoughtful fellow,
you may seem so far away
from these lands
Or have I just kept my head up way too high?
Into the clouds, above the waters and blues
Still, nothing can compare
to the hues in your eyes

Is it taking too long of a distance
for our ship to sail to be called soon?
Must I chase away my dreams
Farewell— of being with you?
But you always kept me at bay,
and my heart you have slain

You are my knight,
protecting me from the darkness
seeping in through at night
My prince who let me taste
the breezing colors of the seasons
by his trusty platinum steed

And my king, you reign
You remain
ruling the castles and valleys
of my heart so deep
In your soulful eyes,
I have found my sweet serenity,
my dream filled sleep,
with you breathing next to me

Tonight and for ever afters
I do hope we will seal it with a kiss

My dear prince,
In the cloak of velvets and gold
Not only you have swept me away
You have me swooned all over
Onto the oceans and in so deep
Over the mountains and skies blue seep
Now that I have travelled far to your land
Give me the permission for your heart
I am asking for your hand, risking it all
Melting, in your arms I fall
You're the only one who can do it,
Lay a sword to my heart; you've slain
Oh my blood rose, can I get close?
Veins of blue, your sharp luring thorns
Every piece of you, I'm ready for it all

So you continued on living within the pages, tucked hidden in the stories I create. There are signs that dimly represent you in the scenarios conveyed, or can be oh so overt on the characters I portray.

I still can't help but slip you on the pages, love.

It can sometimes be involuntary, but it's not that I take dislike on it. Even if I say I want it to stay hidden, this love still show through. So I try to include you in my narratives, and tell the world around me how much you mean to me, one way or another.

Nothing can compare... to what I feel for you.

The sound of the pouring rain from the roof woke me up.

I got myself a chair in the patio of our house. I sat there comfortably, sitting in silence for a good whole minute.

I closed my eyes, letting the sound of the pouring rain immerse into me. Imagining myself getting soaked, as if I really am in the middle of the pouring rain, drenched, and laughing carefree in the distance.

"Being outside is nice huh?" I heard a pleasant voice behind me. I let my eyes stay closed for a moment, letting the cold wind meet my face to wake me up. I also welcomed his words, nodding at him with acknowledgement. I was then met with a chocolatey steam; he prepared us two cups of hot cocoa.

"Figured you're a bit cold." His voice sounded raspy, sleepiness still evident in his tone. I turn to him as he got himself another chair close to mine. He looks up a bit, seeping the rain onto his porcelain-like skin. He doesn't go out that much to get some sunshine as to why.

I hummed absentmindedly, warming up to his presence. There was a small smile across his lips, his eyes warmer than the hot drinks he have at hand.

I mirrored his smile, getting my cup from him.

"I kinda like the cold feeling but I wouldn't want to waste your effort." A chuckle escaped my lips, and his crescent-like smile appeared before me.

He drank from his cup as I sipped on mine, letting the vibe from around me flood my senses.

I love these little instances he would think of me. Slipping a thought into his tasks, gestures that show that he does take effort in remembering things I love. Like how I prefer hot chocolate over tea in rainy days, and how I love seeing his smile on early mornings. Even as he loathes waking up and moving off the bed so early. Oh how I love this man before me.

And we sat there in silence, side by side, letting the sky pour out its rain. Our cups at hand, the aroma of the cocoa steam over our senses, full to little to none, with the cold wind howling a bit in the distance.

This went on for an hour or so; I still couldn’t wrap around the idea of how much I love these instances. I had always found comfort in him between our silences and exchanges of glances. Just in him in general; he’s my blanket, my safety— the personification of home. My umbrella; my shade to my blazing sunny days and cover to cold rainy days. I looked over his broad figure from the back, I sigh in contentment.

And as if he heard the drizzle in my heart, he gave me a faint smile; a radiance just enough to soften the hues all around us. But just enough that he stands out amongst the drizzling rain over the sunlight peeking through the clouds.

I could see the raindrops wash over the dewiness of his skin, and it looks like it's starting to show signs of stopping. But I just want to stay, stay out here a bit longer.

If I were to be honest,
I'll be called "mad".

— 'it is you that I love'