my precious star in the night
I love those glint in your eyes
the dreams that you've now achieved
please hold that tight
never lose sight
of what fueled that spark

the night I saw you, I swear I fell
as if I'm a shooting star shot across galaxies
but I could never hold such blinding light
as much of what you hold in your very eyes

please, my love, never loose that glimmer
as mine is fading, you're my only hope

I dream that even if millenials pass
these eyes will see the same star
of what made her wish on stars in the first place

I hope that I can hold on to you the same
please, my love I beg
as if I'm holding onto my last breath

this is my only wish upon a star
that whatever you may be
that even if you stand out
among thousands of galaxies
never change your pure glow
my love, don't be blinded
for what may bring you
to your downfall
please, I believe
I put my faith onto yours
even that time may pass
your light may still reach
my heart the same as that night

It seems like the blood in my hands
can never run dry
As long as I write for you, my love

Though, the bleeding in my heart
doesn't stop
as the words, they spill for you

Please don't let me stop
from loving you dear
At least let me have the privilege

I've never experienced such rapture
whenever I see your smile
along with the aching feeling
that follows through my heart

I've only experience such love
when I have met you
I never had so much to lose
not before I met you

Why does it ache so much
and soothing all the same?
That it will never be my name
that you'll speak
when the clock strikes eleven
One then... *three

At these instances, I stay up all night
With my thoughts, scribbling through paper
As I write about what happened after a long day

Somehow, you lead me back to you
Then I'll go on and write some more
At least now I don't feel alone

I have to tell you something
something that I haven't been able
to pass in another's ear before
I first tried writing music

Those lyrics of mine
never really left me,
it's haunting me with its monotonous beat
And it stayed with me still
But since I was horrible at it,
I stopped

Not till I met a boy who creates music himself
He makes me want to share a melody with him
but can't

I promised to myself one day,
even if it may be too late

Maybe the day
I'll be able to write a song,
is the day I'll be able to let out
all of these feelings
I have for you

Maybe by then
I can let you go

Like the sun, he was shining
As an admirer, I could only watch from afar

You are my escape
You bring me out of my own distress

You are my dream
The one I want to be
and who to be with

As much as you don’t know
You’re the very core in my existence
even if I don’t exist in yours

But that doesn’t matter, dear
Cause with all my heart and entity
You’re the one I adore

Here I am praying that we could meet
Anticipating the moment our eyes will catch one another
Yearning for a glimpse of your beady eyes
And the stares of your eyes oh so melting into mine

I want to thank you for brightening up my day
To let you know that I truly admire and adore you
I want you to know that I love you
Even if you do not know my name

How I wish to meet you dear
So that both our hands can intertwine
As much as my heart wants to veer
It wishes to call you mine

Why is it that when I finally get to see them there,
closely, to the flesh, and we’re actually in the same room…
that’s when I felt the most distance between us?
Why do they feel so far way, still?
Why does it hurt so much that I can’t – in actuality – reach them?
Why do I feel the most sad when it’s supposed to be the time of my life?
Why is it that all I hear is white noise in this bustling crowd,
my voice echoing; pleading for your name, and your singing?
I hear myself asking you to stay...
Why is your ethereal figure just standing there before me–
'don't go'
–while I am right here gasping for air?
aren't I the one who will actually leave as the show's ending?
How can you bring my knees weak? Why am I in tears?
'I love you'
Why did fate decided for us to meet like this?

And with that,
I'm reminded of all the reasons
why I fell in love with you,
and being in love with you, still.

let me sing you a song
of a mermaid that once passed
can you not hear it
wailing in the distance?
by the raging seas
that was once calm waters
even after its last breath
the spirits of the waters it once swam on
still lingers in the oceans so deep
can my voice haunt you in your sleep?
even then listen to its calling
its sorrowful melody
how it’s missing the land
it never once kissed
remember the tune
so when you’re in need of company
come look up the moon
as it once became the light
of a lonely siren I came to be
this is how I miss you every night
I was always calling your name
but never heard by thee
as I have always been pleading
under the deep blue sea
'please remember me till you sleep'

a thought of you
can move me to tears,
the exquisite joy
of seeing your smile
with your figure
a bit taller than mine
right up close to me

next to the sadness
that we might never be
like parallel lines,
asymptotes—
oh how lucky are we
if we were just like that

at least you're within my reach
not like this
where you're galaxies away,
apart with these oceans
flooding us away
like the skies pouring hard rain,
these eyes blur my vision up to you
A star that's out of my league

If ever I fall in love
I want to fall for someone who also writes
I want us to be engrossed in each other's pages
As we try and understand the world's we've created

Most especially, someone who write's music

I want to get stuck into a different realm he'd created
I want to explore a world so familiar yet different all the same
I know how simple and complex music can be

But I don't really have to be,
cause I already am

matagal ko na rin 'tong iniisip
hangga't maaga pa, ako'y bibitaw na
dahil alam ko una pa lang
sa huli ako'y masasaktan

masakit man para sa akin
pero bakit ba hindi ko kayang tanggapin?
na ako at ako lamang ang nagmamahal
na ako lamang ang maghihintay ng ka'y tagal

alam kong dapat hindi ko 'to iisipin
dapat wala na akong dapat hangarin
na higit pa sa dapat kong damdamin
dahil kahit kailanman
alam kong hindi mo ito maibabalik

pilit man kitang layuan
ako yung mas nahihirapan
bakit ba ganyan ang iyong mga titig?
lalo tuloy akong nasasabik...

bakit nga ba hindi ka pwedeng maging akin?

eng trans:
I've been thinking about this for a while
As soon as possible, I should let go
Cause from the start, I know
I'll get hurt in the end

It hurts for my part
but why can't I accept it?
that it is me, and only me that keeps on loving you
that it is only me that will have to wait for too long

I know I shouldn't be thinking of this
I shouldn't even yearn for more
for something greater than I should feel
Because I know that you'll never return it

I tried to keep my distance
But it is me that's suffering
Why are your stares like that?
I'm getting more eager...

**why isn't it possible for you to be mine?

Is it bad that I want to hold your hands? I want you to lay beside me with the cold messy sheets of my bed. Hide under the blankets and stare into your comforting eyes. I want you to stroke my hair while you let me hold your cheeks as you break into a smile. Let me see your shining eyes form that crescent moon shape, and let me poke your dimples.

With the silence of the night enveloping us.

Let the sound of our beating hearts the only thing resounding the room.
I then ask you to sing me your lullaby until I fall asleep. I want you so badly beside me in these cold rainy nights. Or when the stars are shining bright. As I long for your warmth.
Let the gap between us be enough. The presence of each other be comforting – I know you are enough.

I miss you so badly even if I haven’t actually breathed next to you.

It's hard to believe that that didn't even exist in the first place.
It's harder to deceive oneself of the reality that that was it all along.

when can I be sober again?
I want to come back
into my senses again, please

let’s stop drowning for awhile
let’s take a break, heart

it was nice seeing you after a long while
I’m right here, standing from across the fields
no flower in this meadow
can compare to your blooming smile

seeing your dimpled cheeks reddening
and the gleam of your eyes, melts me
even if it was not for me

stuck in the same place
over and over
I'm growing tired
faded, to look at the other end
A non-existent thread,
to yours— bled red
something I put up tying to mine
to yours— an invisible line

For once I am lost for words,
hollow, empty of a shell with no home
as we are living in different worlds
I will never see you by the doorstep

We're like two matchsticks
you used to burn up my flames
my eyes lit up looking at you—
burning with passion
wasting no gasoline,
my heart you filled up the brim
— now it's a heart burnout

I used to hold on
and vision it clearly up ahead
with you holding my tired hand
with me looking up to smile
my heart used to race a thousand mile
how is it now this came too soon?
now it's just faded
a scene that's white noise filled
you're fading to black quickly

For once I don't see you
standing on the other side
I've held loose of the rope

I'm no longer scared
or anxious
of what we will come about
A future without you
with these feelings wavering—
How come I vision this clearly?

A story with no ‘we’—
An ending page
and from the beginning
that's where
we're supposed to stand in line

It seemed harder
the more that I avoid you
It is just too late
to even think of escaping
I'm already a captive
from your unwavering light
*how can I even let you go?

Your smiles and your laugh enough
can bring the sun to shame
Your colors enough, so perfect
to pop up the hues,
for them to show through

I just feel so homesick all the time, whenever you're not here with me. I just count on the days on the ticking of the clock. Till you come by the doorstep, back home to me.

— waiting for a moment that will never happen

Funny how easily
I can be pulled into its course,
and be flushed with the waves
all together.

It's just a single wave,
and I'm back in your shores once again.

Whenever I see your face
I can’t help but look
at you with sad eyes

Tears kept falling
as my heart begins to waver
praying for both of us

why must our meeting be short?
why must we part too soon?

Can you give me your hand?
I want to stay with you longer

Can you pull me close?
I want us to cherish this moment

Can you not say a word?
Your presence is enough

Can I ask you to stay?
I don’t want us to end like this

Even if you’re close next to me
I feel that we’re worlds apart

Just by looking in your eyes
I already know your answer

You’re the one for me
But I’m not the one for you

isn’t it sad
when you can visibly see
the embers of a star
slowly dying?
up in the night sky
from a galaxy far away from me
don’t you ever look up
looking for the signs of me?

my dear, I plead
for an apology
nowhere within your reach
I am sorry
for this light to be fading
for letting it cease from existing

my love, I have always been praying
for our dream
that’s never meant to be
to our stars that never will align
not for once, nor till I ever die

my darling, please I beg
for this light to lose its glimmer
‘it’s already dim though’
is there anything I could do?

my dearest, can you not hear me?
at least hear me out on my pleas
in my last twinkle,
please be reminded
that it’s only the light of my remains
this dream has been dead long ago
‘a dream of the impossible’
my light has been long gone,
before then it can reach you

How deep is your love?
How far can you go for that one person
that you hold very dear to your heart?
Will you cross the seven seas
to get a glimpse of their eyes?

Your eyes remind me so much
of the deep caverns of the seas
Your gaze are so intense
that I am afraid I'll get lost into it
Your passion so deep
something that enamors me to you
How can someone harbor such fire
that even water cannot put out?

Your voice like a siren,
and the anchor in my ship
You keep me right above the water,
something that keeps me afloat,
that keeps me to my sanity
and the very person pulling me deep

Though, I don't want to touch you
For the fear that you might slip away
from my grasp
Like sand flowing away
as the wind disperse it on my palms

But I kept holding onto you still
Like an oyster holding its pearl
You're the treasure I hold the dearest

You are very like the waves
that comes back to the shore
Though I am not your shore

I know very well
that I cannot swim
Yet
I hope you'll come by
to save me just in time
Just how you always did

I just love and cherish him so much. Though, why is it so hard to convey to the world? Why and how is it so hard to understand?

And why does it have to be this way.

A simple girl loving a man far from her grasp. I thought love wasn't supposed to hard, nor it needs to be understood. You just feel it, and you just know in the depths of your heart.

**Yet why does this hurt so much?

why must be apart?
to truly know that our hearts
chose to draw each other closer

— fate leads us to each other

Sometimes I wish
My pencil will break
and that my heart will finally choose rest
little one, aren't you exhausted?
Of how the world give you thoughts
that makes you run and run to the void
When will this head of mine
come back down the clouds?
Till when will these eyes stay
blinded by a reality far from truth?

Sometimes I want to blame this heart
for taking in too much, too much
excessively from what it can ought to take
I want to hold a grudge, for it ever falling
to wonders that tears itself from reality
Don't strange, delicate things
draws us humans more onto it?
Why am I so eerily drawn
to such things far off this planet?
A dream that's far from my grasp.
So far off.

Won't somebody, anybody, I beg
wake me up from this dream already?

— shatter me already

As of now, I think of you
each passing day
Our meeting,
still etched in my mind
Since the day we parted
I miss you more each day,
I want to meet you (again)
I didn't know it was possible
I fell deeper, greater—
beyond of what I expected
It's engraved deeply in my heart
Your words and ethereal figure
You're what my heart's beating

Must I really wait
No matter how long
Till then I promise to be well
I'll keep my heart only for you

Even if
I look away
my heart seems
to find your way

Even if
Our gaps too far
I know
we could meet somehow

Even if
it's not today
our paths
will cross someday

Even if
my love's not enough
I know I'll love you
more each day

Even more
than yesterday

Should I really put faith in myself? But the thought of you being miles away from me, how can I even assure I can look after you the way I can make you stay? The way that you'll want to choose me?

I find myself yearning
for your sunlight
instead of shade
I want to be the reason
of your blossoming days
For your smiles to curve
to gleeful laughs
For your eyes to form
thin as petals
Like the wind blowing near
your voice's music to my ears
You fill my lips
with flowery words to say
Like any other end of summer
I feel myself a bit warmer
As I find myself like the leaves
I fall for you more each day

I'm gonna give up this fight
you never once laid your hands on.

— I'll surrender the hopes I fight with

pause the doubts
let the stream be drought
there will come a time
it will all fall place in line

gently pull me back
to the currents
of your waves
I've grown to know

seeing these wounds bleed
please be there to heal
in your arms of pink fluff
with your clouds so thick
please let me be lost
in your eyes

let us travel the borders outside
I'll stay by your side
though, you're better off without me
I'll let you wonder on your own
So let me be here to watch
how you set off to the wilderness
let me be entranced by you from afar

I'll be ignorant for the bliss
hoping to seal this with a kiss
though I cannot
I'm chained to do so
coped by these thorn hedges
with this fear of touching you

loving you will do harm
piercing both of our souls
but I'm willing to pass
these walls, I'll do it all
even if the chances of you
saving me is so small

I still dream of a fellow
that would save me in my sleep
He would trace the creases on my lips
his hair would tickle the tip of my nose
and his face would be the last thing I see
along his steady breathing and heartbeat
me close onto his chest
there would be a faint smile across my face
before I fall soundly asleep

Even as I enter dreamland
it would still be his name
that's the sound of my heartbeat

He would take me to far off places
and make me feel things
I haven't dwell before

Someday, I still wish that
it would be your hands
that will intertwine mine
and that dream will slowly dissolve
into a face unfamiliar
but like home all the same
you will slowly turn into reality
closer than we've ever been before
closer that you are within my grasp

— can a girl dream, love?

I knew it from the beginning
this love is at fault
to look at you – it’s not allowed
and loving you will be a bigger crime

it seems like a long, long time ago
the girl in red was searching for the down to earth girl in blue
did you manage to go down the rabbit hole again?
or am I actually the one who lost track of time?

why am I so drawn to your mystery?
you keep many secrets my dear
I should be giving up searching for you
yet the thought of you is intriguing

it's been a long time, Alice
I just hope you don't wander too far off the path

How I hate the seas
And the waves it brings
For it cannot surpass
The love I have for you
Nor it cannot bring
You close to me

We breathe the same air
And see the same skies
Though these seas
It cannot bring
The same tranquility in your eyes
For only it separates me
From you and the warmth
You have inside

Oh it cannot give me ease
The same as your beady eyes
So only your plastered smile
For that I will make it mine
I will not mind the gap
No matter how far
For only time could tell
If we would part or not
So I will keep them inside
In my heart
And it will be forever in my mind

I know I started seeing things differently
Every time I look up the sky thinking
that I want to take every moment
sharing this beautiful view with you

— strolling

how could it be
that someone who doesn't
even know my name
have this much effect in me?

In some place safe
breath in the air so fresh
Where leaves dance through the wind
and how the sunlight kiss my skin
I just want to hold your hand
Intertwined to one another
under a full-bloom tree
A place where every birds sing,
where no voices left unheard
Is it too much to ask
to reach out for faces to listen?
Let me leave traces down your back
with my fingers gently
circling a path down your skin
Let my tongue be heard beyond echoes
Let my wishes and love in tune,
free as the seas and as how stars roam
throughout the horizons
Can’t my wounds be healed by thee?
Just by the warmth of your hand is the key
Let me get lost into the vast oceans of your soul
At least let this prayer be given a chance to speak
In some place safe,
a haven for the two of us
I beg— will be this be brought out to life?
Let this not be in the caverns of my mind,
in the deepest cores of my beating heart,
in the near future will it be?
Someday, somewhere, maybe—
Please
I just want it to come true
I’ll not ask for anything else
I’m willing for my heart to bleed