8 fifteen in the morning,
huddled around a wooden framed door,
awaiting today’s moderator,
another professional development,
Restorative Practices,
the art of inclusion,
the art of accountability;
Skill building,
Cooperation,
The mutual hate among us as we stare into a dark room,
windowless,
Awaiting another 7 hour day of ice breakers,
We clutch our coffees and populate the lone corner —
— 12 capacity room in the basement,
All 15 of us,
Good morning: let’s begin

You like to say love disappeared.
And I swear it never left, but she talk like Kanye "Ima let you finish"
shrug her shoulders; cut me off, Swift.
    Drinks on the table it was no one else's business, Henny in my system there was no one else who witnessed how she never took a breath like a run on sentence so I'm in the club flexing working on my fitness; arms out stretched on my chest crucifixion.
    I'm forgiven but could never get a word in not even one syllable I'm talking in synonyms I,
never
ever
nevermore, words with friends.  Triple word how absurd you be trippin ****, on my Instagram insecurity I'm tired of it I'm with my Boys chillin rarely smoked but might burn a spliff; ease the pain so insane major Payne fatigue is in.  
    I got a glimpse of future, I use to, try to hit you up reconnect, bluetooth, I'm in her ear lying for the ***, I miss you, she on top giving me the truth: this all you.  But **** it though I'm not trynna be your man, but when she leaving out for work I be sleepin in
and when she home I tax that *** like I'm Uncle Sam nothing ever change so after head she be at my neck
next
    Flashback to the present
--and--
she still telling me how I don't get it
stressed
unproductive in her presence, you not even in front of me I'm still tasting lemons; Yo, my star player wants a trade should I let her go? cut too deep for bandaids should I let it flow.  
    Throwback to the past vampire clothes but the blood different I'm a sucker for that red though: she was floating 6 inches from the earth floor, you's a victim baby true blood, spoil us!  Show Me What You Got lil mama let your "Kingdom Come" dressed in all black spending money black republican?  Awesome and some; I was sliding home she was catching, clamping; say I turn her on like a touch screen, Samsung; with a touch of color you would disobey your mother as I slid under your covers
mid-day massages
"Midnight Maunders"
at least that's how it use to be, now Award Tour got her trippin almost frequently
we use to fight for love she said now she a causality!
        "and how you gonna make this bout you it's about me, phone ringing since 1am it's about 3
  thought you was slick huh,
thought I was sleep, you **** right love disappeared"
but she never leaves.
She's still waiting to exhale, but she never breaths.

This isn't Rome
I'm standing still because of statutes
Stone grill: I a carved marble statue
not a muscle dares,

Near frozen by the fear,
let it go I hear
over shoulder: perfect pass
if I get shot over a penalty

Is it clear?
my arms are arms?
a load chopper; in his shades,
do those aviators make me even darker?
(if I studied aviation I could take off I can hover, I can…)

Wait.
he's moving closer,
every hair strand an antenna,
I can feel him,

The smell of disdain on his glare,
stained blood on his hands,
another brother,
my brother

Guiltier with every pace so
--  show your hands,
foot mixed with concrete
I take this order serious,
my motions are motive
and mistaken for resist,

Wait.
Is it his stare or am I ******?
(Why did I decide to go my friends wouldn't believe this…)

limitations to the thoughts;
am I arrested or caught?

I'm cold on the surface,
Erode so slow is my sediment evidence,
A blue god so I'm pacified,
I'm hesitant,

he calls and I say that I'm innocent,
I'm witnessing
the transitioning from eruption to ocean
-- volcanic

Blue Medusa,
can you only sculpt destruction?
(I'm not 3 dimensional, I'm real and I matter, I'm real and I matter)

I'm real,
But I shatter,

Gravel if determined that I'm rude so I can't breath,
Gravel if My license plate removed I don't leave,
I don't speak,
I don't flee,
I'm not free,
I believe,
That this happen to my mothers, mother
mothers' brother,

Brother from another was granite
and granted he's valuable
but only in a home
-- of course

I'm quartz in the making
A corpse still shaking
Cause a wallet was mistaken
Or I.D. was misplaced

So, I'm on the rocks
since the bar says that I'm a criminal,
velvet rope divider marks my life
and a vigil,

a wake,
or a hashtag,
you choose,
glass house,
Cold Stone’s,
rocky road,
Medusa licks his finger tips

same finger which
petrified me in the first place,
Reminded I'm in Rome
as I'm standing there motionless

a statue for display
or a trophy for the kitchen,
this art is not for sale
there will be no shipping,

With solidarity
through our solidification,
It won't matter if I look back,
I Matter and I’m Black.

How fortunate
Our color blends unintentially,
Wildly with thoughts bleeding outside the lines what have we started: again

And again I stroke
And again you absorb
And again this easel-- summoned
And again your vellum-- softened

Perched on a stool,
Vibrant as mangos --ripening
I chose you, the spectrum
Unknown to most

The only museum I go to.

If you weren't dark skin you'd blush,

You and your pleasantly "spring" demeanor,
blooming smiles in secret inside your hazmat suit,
from any type of feelings,

you are already infected,
-- and contagious,
yet refuse to admit the goosebumps
on your neck,

without the fortunate luxury of showing your emotion
society has deemed you timeless,
an eloquent flagrant aroma,
the definition of fine wine with a zest -- a spiciness of an impatient "summer",

you are warm,

and the stem of your smiles comes with thorns of poison,
weapons of mass destruction,
so you're cloaked,
tucked away from societal norms,
and expectations --  who are we to judge,

you are correct,

your skin,
is the right tone,
to
grab the attention for all the unwelcome,

literal and figuratively baring a cluster of
ideas,
wants,
desires -- requested by only the elite,

pasteurized and preserved until then.

If it weren't for the consistent badgering of radical america your roots your nourishment would enrich the very soil our ancestors turned,

but pests and pesticides alike have yet
to be relinquished,

"autumn" has consumed us as smiles fall-- the hazmat suits leave us bare to the weathered reality,

except you,

umbrellas and storm sheltered words nurture loved ones -- you are worth the wait,

with conflict resolve you take off your helmet and gear we are not prepared for such violence -- shielded eyes from falsified truths you bloom and blush,

you are beautiful,

a perfect storm your wrath the 5th element -- uncontrollable you are free as "winter" resides on your shoulder,

she is awakened and unapologetic,
a God among us,

frightfully we are safe we have waited for your wine to runneth and pop goes the cork,

as the war begins your throne you sit with confidence.

Lone star walking roads,
crowbar in hand
cowgirl I'll die for,
I died and I died again,

fluent in 6 country's,
passports; pardons
no cargo,
but luggage is a stainless steel flask,

half full,
half way,
to the moon
if you asked me?

Cadillacs in space,
expensive taste
that's masked with
— the cheap stuff,

inspired souls,
they walk,
and this forsaken path,
they'll never make hell a ***** deed or two from heaven,

counterparts
we're equals,
we're lost
they're my colleagues,

a scandal from remembrance,
remember we followed rules?
no response
****!

there's a shift
in the rubix cube, 
a memo from the warden,
no weapons in the visit room,

coordinating sin,
a taste of gin
before the see you soons,
world was much warm before stone replaced the sand dunes,

scoff at the elixir,
cordially
she casts stones,
******* of a demon crossing ponds is all the child knows,

tales of the fishermen,
who heard it through the corridors,
all and all departed,
with a fear of the other gods,

strictly prohibited,
a swig of the forbidden fruit,
who are you to judge me,
When Your Son Is Not Of Holy Proof!

wedded to a mortal said your honor,
absent i do's,
abstinence is bliss
and your crime ascends civilian law,

guilty -- you're filthy,
your son will never know your soul,
I know my role and play it well,
Your god never admits he's wrong,

so why would I?
— a baby cried,
I'm present for my son's birth,
and leave before an open eye the practice of a perfect curse.

He's known to flip a bat on occasion,
it's blatant
-- radiating cool kid,
a mutant?

“Completely under the impression she would resume her status outside” he thought..
maybe my own words betrayed me as the knife entered Brutus

Unhinged,
could the mind play a game, it saw the movies but did it Saw 5?

Animals huddled around the man made entry salivating at the idea of another chance,
ravenous they paced hungry for a sole sight  

What could be for dinner?
If an appearance not made would both beings have to consider drastic measures. A voyage? A continental trip to parts unknown? Meeting ghosts are not my style but Anthony Bourdain was surely welcome.

Was that a twitch from the ****,
all beings in the area stood at attention awaiting a response from the opening. Informal gestures and gazing eyes they dampen any doubts of their desires.

“How dare they keep us waiting”
the impatient thoughts arose out of the sandy concrete mixture. Those who knew of the situation stood steadfast and steady — this might be it

No “read” stamp,
hope has begun to dwindle.
I too wished of a different outcome but life demands transitions.

Damsel in this dress
is a damsel in distress she just using clothes to cover up the post traumatic stress,

but they barely cover anything--
her lady parts at best,
she attracts hood ****** but they barely give her thanks when she gobble up their ***** in her head is regret,

her past is her future so abuse is where she heads-- wears her heart on her sleeve so she empty in her chest

wearing make up just to make up for the confidence she lacks
  
and I admit I looked back when you walked by in that sun dress
I knew your name around the block bout how you ****** the meanest ****,

the greatest *** and I imagined if I knew the words for access words to claim your assets dinner did I have to invest-- from a glance,
 
and at a simple glance back,
to advance the fact still remain man plans to slay that,

she knows it; the shades on her face tells poem how bright lies jaded minds and money bust her open so who's the poet--
but we judge off her appearance,
 
and lose our morals,
when she throw it back aren't we daring; but aren't we caring making compliments and swearing,
smearing make up on our ugly truth
conceal,
conceal,
concealer,

you a bad *****,
another body is you willing?
but to her its more than *** its the embrace its not the feeling,

her innocence is safest and awakened when she feels it reminded of the time her boyfriend lied, as he took ***.

In these predicaments she says its innocent;
he loves me,

that's after broken rib number 5 she says; he loves me,

that's after **** kit the doctor swab;
he says I'm worthy,

that's after black eye number 9;
he says he trust me,
he trust me,
he trust me,
He trust me,
He Trust me,
He Trust Me,
HE TRUST ME,

and he never means to hurt me.

Problem is my novel is too common,
I'll never share his name cause his name is not the problem,

he don't deserve my shine or fortune to be acknowledged:

Ms. *******, control your hatred, stedfast
my mind is changing-- stop judging demons,
Contrast.

Almost ruined it
I think she's worthy of a contract my bad you put up with my nonsense.
But I'm calm since you entered in my lineup-- and Common Sense says how about you Come Close
Never mind the chill from the shoulder I would give ya I was younger immature I was failing all my chores and I thought nothing more than when you gave me my allowance and I squirted on your flowers you're my flower girl

But instead of just waking down the isle baby, you on my mind fighting crime and my trust issues
Not limited to one type of style, she got a closet full of weapons-- no misuse
Margiela couldn't handle all this fire power your glass pumps on the dance floor Cinderella so before I seize the moment on this final hour let me start by being true to your Pink Matter.  
See I'ma always try to steal a smile or take your heart so I'm trynna be your criminal no subliminal I said I want you front and center with your melanin skin like Tia or Tamera
I've got my grove back I'm feeling kind of Stella got me quitting all my games Michael Jordan after wizards I've finally taken interest so I saying what we doing with this, you finally got me so I'm saying:

I do.

You're like my favorite colour
I like, I love you?
you're compatible with my personality naturally I gravitate toward your hues
ideals
I accuse you of being my primary color
can't quite describe my attraction nor how something so unique could be contracted
but,
I color your lips pink with mine
only to Braille a picture
I'm blind.

I couldn't figure why she left
so I killed her

killed the memories cut feelings-- severed;
Dismembered in these compositions, decomposition
skeleton's wish the fishes
she was swimming I could her listen,

how her waves are getting colder
silent as the ink turns to water.

drown in my notebook
choke like my love did,
no trace missing person drown in my hatred

drown you are baptized, opposite, soulless,
drown you just capsized, titanic,
roses
decapitate her DiCaprio
even playing all the roles I only get one Oscar?

you left me all alone babe,
so I safely took the safety off
like you,
safely made my core soft sole cause of secrets sore cause I keep them

no

I won't die with you Juliet,
slaughtered by a ball point to you I will be Shakespeare

and lately,
it mattered how I showered you with care
maybe
but it mattered how I showered you I swear
you left me you tempt me this weapon my intent
my motive, now I indent-- rarely but clearly this death will be punctual
Capital
punishment to you in my college ruled,
my hands electric

black attire
funeral-- my ivory dinner jacket,
remember you said it's a crime to fall in love
and I plead guilt to your probable cause

now the pigs wouldn't find her
not in mud,
not in dirt,
I'm on drugs,
not on earth,
still in love,

she,
vanished
the reality set in, even though you left I'd marry the poem that I killed you in--
I'd marry the words you left me with.

words are exhausting
though actions have much more endurance
there's no way I could show my stamina if I never see you
unfortunate
but if given the opportunity
given you're not completely tired of my talk
I'd have the courage to share my happiness
you see
words are living things too
they're capable of breathing life into an absent
feeling
truth
accept these last few
as I showcase my lungs in a different manner:
my vitality

Lady adjacent waiter,
ruler of the medulla,
give me a certain angle
that'll make her want to maneuver,

make her want to consider
in the absence of his figure,
that maybe not the whole gender
is full of secret agendas,

with her left over right leg,
glass in her right hand,
a tribute to her innocence
ever since she walked in,

assembled it's, white wine
Krispy Kreme eyes,
glazed look,
lips glossed like her oil thighs,

it's finally off time
her sorority cross line,
it's happy hour,
she wasn't,

his whole crime has been a cover up
since she wants him,
this whole scene has been taped off
by her girlfriends,

it's often I see it,
alcoholic rehab,
a culprit — a demon
making contracts with my open tab,

broken bad in the bathroom,
clad woman,
For all the attention
such good first impressions,

but not you,
I feel a different aura,
I feel I'll get exposed
so I call a different offense,

Semper Fi
within my eyes
this energy —
I quiet the restaurant,

Can you hear me?
Proceed to throwing signals
Tom Brady couldn't throw,
the ball's in my court so I'm finally on the move,

crushing on you while the sky undresses,
you catch a glimpse
as the clouds bare witness,
Excuse me Miss Unfortunate,

I know I'm at a disadvantage
but I had to call it
head or tails
I'm still offering,

a chance to be your man? No
a chance to be your author?
a chance to be your narrator now or later
call me,

a chance to say “there she is”
her piercing eyes, fixes her finger on my lips
be quiet, “I saw this in a movie once”
she told me as I spy and I grab onto her truths,

excuse me thats selfish, pardon me
apart of me just wants to see that movie,
a father daughter dance,
a chance to be your groupie,

a chance to see that smile
that you flashed
like a lunar star,
meteor crash

and its back to reality,
eye connection broken
and it’s back to the irony,
a word barely spoken

and I’m back to asking:
Check Please.

Her shallow waters, I dove in
head first trynna be someone
I shouldn't sin
suicide
if she wanted I would jump again; terrorist all she needed was a turban with a Taliban as a wristband
chants written on her body they were lyrics then
tattooed, and I was thinking more like angel wings instead she brought a dress from the devil on the ****** sands
tainted, glasses even tinted, everything Instragram everything vintage, everything is everything to her im just a witness; a blast from the past, a mistress of a mistress Killed it.
matter fact **** me this not what I wanted and I not who I should be; you say the sky's the limit but my limit is a frisbee my sky is a ceiling of a feeling of what could be
I don't think I want you any more!
MTA
stand clear closing doors
gasoline
burning bridges to the floor abandon ship ***** you don't wanna fall alone
but it seems im stuck in Davie Jones and swimming in her waters is the only way to roam,
grown
daughter of the music angel so; burn
Sean is the only way to go; swerve
I had get up outta there but no one elses water taste like Everclear and no one elses water I could jump in bare
matter fact there was never water there i could jump in raw, the rain coat was never there
Hold up, but what was I thinking
I knew her whole song she never had to sing it
I knew that it was wrong, I couldn't stop reneging
***** after ***** after *****
cut after cut with a blade
clubs I would cut cause of shame
I knew her whole hand so who is up for blame,
Or is this just a phase but maybe I was wrong, to think theres something better and maybe Im alone in thinking that there was palm trees and maybe nicer weather after I was giving up but I cant forget her.
so I
jumped in again, head first
she was wet all clear, slick roads
traveling full speed on her **** curves words slurred vision about to go
I'm bout to give it all up to this girl
my mans like I don't really think you know
cause once you go in raw you already sold your soul
and once you eat her fruit she already took your clothes.

The holy cardinal said:
who bare rib?
fresh cut new did,
he said -- who is this?
He slowly tread; wrangled thee
there's a 4x4 in his 20/20,
he asked -- “double play?”
the kid ran away

Tell another excuse
and another excuse
and another excuse
tell her she got you confused; tear her heart to pieces
at least thats the best you could do since it's not literal don't take it so literal litter on her liver,
recycle all your old lies lead her from reality and family
her old life
lead her to commitment to addiction or the matrix a false sense of presence and connection in your own life
never gave her a chance
never holding her hand
she always made the advance.
Baby not in public.
She said I'm tired of texting first I'm never on your mind as far as I'm concerned I'm in a hearse you never gave me life
but I bought her these jewels
but I bought her those shoes
but I love when she **** baby he love when you're ****
you know she don't deserve this you always take her gold
forehead kiss
eases pain as she remain your victim

State of union
as we're unified, we're lateral
parallel,
paraphernalia in our religions

to add to this televised broadcast
forecasting short cuts and short comings
Sure—
I'm running out of excuses tongue-loosened painfully,

but who thought,
the chief that is,
invited everyone to our ghost dance
they stand and applaud,

Me at the helm of our podium
they **** and they gawk,
you at my breast plate
the air I drink is futile I cough,

But Is it kosher?
Nova Scotian landscapes supplementing dinner,
The candles on your dessert,
 reminds me of our fire,

We once had, We flicker,
Once singular now plural -- yes adulting made us thorough,
through the rigours,
I feel different

YOU'RE TRIGGERED,
them posts traumatic symptoms I remind you of
frequently,
I listen

I sin again, I sin again
Differently,
You take me back,
Religiously,

And say,

meditation is key,
Khalad would be proud
emotionally I'm wolverine --
Untouchable,

But that was yesterday and I'm trynna say,

Sorry
I'm trynna be unguarded
as a point guard off the inbound,
Pointing to your tilted crown — Adjust it to your coils

Flag a waiter down,
Beef is not what I wanted
nor pleasant to your palette
major key — take the salmon

Overall I think we're better now,
I asked my mom about you
and my aunt about your culture
What you really need is closure

Instead of asking for permission,
settled for forgiveness,
you sweep your pride away in the name
the victim,

Treat me like I treated you
Treat me like you're bullet proof,
Treat me like those systematic flaws --
Unforgivable

You left me?

A growl.. a stomach?
No, that was —
atmospheric
If not hunger I hope we are all parched

I write you
I chant during the cloaked suns snooze
a prayer if you will
simple
come back to me, come back to reality tangible serendipity I offer sacrifices to your temple with these words my tongue my liver
I'd live for her,
temple
I beg, accept my sacrifice
her vice is that she can't hear me
if you open the clouds one last time I'd sacrifice life for her happiness:
serenity

I'm still hung up
like:
I’m a shirt on a hanger
emotions on my sleeve
seems everything tailored
excuse me:
if I’m brief
or I’m sounding like a boxer but my curiosity
leads to me being awkward
so,
miss;
see.
I’m begging for your pardon
or at least a small chance to be a tulip in your
garden
a chance to be a stand out from all the grass that
gets you bothered or a chance at second glance the
solution to your problem

Spewing through my pores
are obviously vocal cords
I'm sweating cause don't you notice how heaven is getting bored.

-- And lord I know we children
but give us something appealing,
cause hell it just seems enticing
cause sin is clearly unwilling to,

release us from its wrath and be spiritual,
my spirits in this clash with this alcohol--
but I try not to break the law
by sleeping this poison off

I'm squeamish
believe me
I'm sick
and suffering from withdrawal,

cause all i see is Sandy Hook behind the walls
and in front of my iris
my silence becoming violent
exhaling louder than sirens
I'm sighing cause you be lying,

you say!

That you will save us
if we put nothing above you
but you taking our children
we made them to be just like you:

I'm sleep.

But if I wake up
will you incarnate a savior
cause jesus is highly needed
don't tell me its human nature!?

to pull the trigger,
peal off -- a mind set against the lord,
pop -- pop they let off  should i be packing a sawed-off

Na

But I'm speaking from my core
its obvious that I'm lost
I'm screaming but don't you notice how heaven choose to ignore.

And lord I see the irony
but I'm not even 60
why are you choosing to hire me
is it because I'm gifted, a voice?

I had no choice
cause the devil trying to recruit me rolls royce;
Versace starter kit it's not hard to convince me I swear--

he's talking salary
how the ******* will miss me
just put this ounce in your pocket
and listen Nina closely

"just trust me I got your back with Nina don't need a safety"
  
I'm loyal,
so should I start to bang
cause if you can't beat them stay
I need a hymn to sing as I hold the burner to my face--  

remember what the preacher say,
if your feeling lost, pray  
I never had a voice
Trayvone Martin never had a say

so is the prayer worth it,
will jesus even surface,
the creases on my faith is shaped like Eve and Adams serpent;

I'm lying to my friends
I'm not religious on purpose
I'm a servant to the truth
but seems the truth is out of service.

Crime and other violent thoughts are at an all time low,
What exactly happen the evening of December

I was brushed upon,
I was sought after,
There were muggers and muggles,
And I saw my life flash

Déjà vu but still a feeling foreign,
Those eyes were distant
Weapons-- uncommon
I've seen those eyes before,

They are eyes I've longed for
My protector, those are eyes of my Prophet
My savior
guardian and princess of the Serengeti

Cling to uncertainty and name you Visual

Cute words in our conversations
exchange photos she my motivation, momentarily-- apparently the living virus I embody has signaled and I'm in need of another host I need but I know I won't --you see there's this truer quote,
you don't know what you have but I know when I grab that I need you most I'm floored when I see you pose, I'm so flawed,
but, do me this favor--
pose for my camera pose for the man you want I'll keep you as a memory,
I think my picture small will forever be and cleverly I use you,
yours
Impatiently I rush things
with no forever in sight I cite love songs give me extra credit
I'm selfish-- narcissistically I'm incredibly, guarded, she asks why,
and as my Valentine she's rewarded, temporarily,
Cause like any drug store my seasons will change and it's back to reality,
there is no bigger picture take my card and cargo with you,

I wasn't always good with words
until I learn they can be manipulated
stripped for parts,
treated,
reworded and planted as if sod,
sound the same,
rebuilt like a cars:
thesauruses are essentially junk yards,
they allow you to play tennis with your mind
they can replace signs,
are intimidated by the weak
yet rejoiced by the blind,
and --
in the end
I know words can do more than just rhyme
they chime in during chimes and relate simple parking tickets
to fines,
politicians use them as smoke screens
with words
I can metaphorically call them ninja’s
the way they evade questions and attack with their sharp tongues
so I won
well -- I'm winning the battle with words,
just know I can curse you now
without saying a curse

Chances I was given
in advance by the stance and at a glance
you'd guess I'm ******* in my pants
Because
I'm anxious shaking hands, my girl made other plans; how I'm handed an eviction to your acres, my land
not to mention I'm getting canned
an outlier under fire
cause a liar hit and ran
drove me off a cliff mentally
freedom hypothetically,
isn't tangible in the world of the meek
*******

Me,
where do I start,

Well,
my fear: if I take that step toward you
the surface might vanish,

and I will fall involuntarily--
not for you,
but because of you

maybe I should be optimistic
maybe if I said everything I thought instead of staring she wouldn't think I'm strange,
maybe not
maybe if I wrote her name a hundred more times I'd be able to start my homework
maybe if I think real hard she’ll telepathically hear my compliments
maybe if I threw paint on me before I left my house she’d notice me
maybe I'm good without her, Jesus never had a girl
maybe I'm not Jesus
maybe I should just walk up to her and kiss her like in the movies
maybe I'd get arrested
maybe I should quit with the maybe’s
maybe
maybe good guys do finish last
maybe I'm cool with that (seriously?)
maybe not
maybe I'll stop thinking about her
one day,
maybe

Faith in unknowns are tough
But, through your leadership,
I have emerged,
Thank you,
for allowing me to spread my wings
Thank you,
For being my guiding wind

Schools’, free-ish U.S.
budget cuts GALORE, burnout
Teachers:  in terror   |  are trying

Kept pace enough for super stardom
baring set backs he's set,
lack the vision
but he's starting running back,

Something like you shouldn't even exist
I tug at you thoughts until your liquid fully leaks as I crack your defenses let your fluid flow
yes I call you thing
you're nothing more than a faucet
yes you are a thing
you're tangible but not human inanimate but still breathing
you cling to my hands with your soft grooves
I open you with ease
pry you open with just words no tools I use my hands and soak them
you drip when I finish
and stay post visitation.
hey! now or Noun, stay, enjoy your false elation

"New York's charm is that you're surrounded by things you can't have"
then you
I meet an identity not of this world the term foreign sort after by many
a 1st world problem
No
"New York's charm is it makes you think you can have them"
Well well New York, an exotic creature I can't tame in disbelieve that you say your presence is illegal
not to be corralled
not to be labeled.
A 3rd world entity at least our verbs the same
but our actions?
explain
am I just another charm on your arm,
Or bracelet
brace yourself: New York

This isn't love per say,
It's a.. I live without you but every time we are reintroduced I can't:

It's a, we will dance all night, during of which I whisper no one knows this energy better than me:

It's a, friends without benefits for the benefit of our friendship:

It's a, you know me to the point where I rather you named me instead of parents:

It's a, if we are together too long people will get the right idea:

It's a, I'm writing this while angry at you, but can't seem to speak negatively about you:

It's a, I keep my mouth shut about your ex because I wish me and you had those problems instead:

It's a, it's complicated:

It's a, I blew my chance back in high school:

It's a, I reach out to show you maybe I do love you with hands behind my back--
unable to show my affection:

It's a, you say you're over me,
(we probably will never happen):

It's a, I subconsciously say I love you with every gaze.

I tell you how I feel with the knowledge you won't take me seriously so I don't take what im saying serious:

kind of situation.

Well,
things change
I guess we're moving on
see no point in rehearsing old songs

Wrong as it is
I'll pursue your best friend
Beause I'm tired of being grown
I can't be the bigger man

In belittling circumstances
circumstantial phrases
I show my true thoughts
and my two faces

Face it,
We could've been patient
what's the fun in running laps
if we always got to pace it

However, still cute words in our conversations
exchange photos
she my motivation

momentarily
apparently,
the living virus I embody
has signaled

I'm in need of another host
I need
but I know I won't
you see there this truer quote

"you don't know what you have--"
but I know when I grab
I need you most
I'm floored when I see you pose

I'm so flawed
but, do me this favor
pose for my camera
pose for the man you want

I'll keep you as a memory
I think my picture's flawed
will forever be and cleverly
I use you, yours

Impatiently, I rush things
with no forever in sight
I cite love songs,
give me extra credit: I'm selfish

Narcissisticly
I'm incredibly guarded -- she asks why and as my valentine
she's rewarded

Temporarily,
cause like any drug store
my seasons will change
Then it's back to reality

There's no bigger picture
take this card and my cargo
I don't need it
as I backpack my way toward my evils

He speaks to me
peacefully,
I'm home unprotected
with feelings used as currency

I withdraw --
I withdraw --
I withdraw --
I take you,
I take charge
I charge love on credit cards
she hates me,

I know it
but I'm over it
I tell myself this chant: this ritual
it's both sacred and needed

**** that,
I'm back in the mix
she's overdosed
comatose words as she pleads the fifth

mixed drinks
then it's hello Miss
I use ellipses
compliment her palette as I'm mentally abusive

Then sweep her off her feet again
the villain --  
I vilify
qualify her demons

insecurities, identified--
hidden with a flagrance
the aroma
roses scattered

my time has nearly elapsed
she only talks to tea cups --
kettles
who spilled that.

Just as much as "i" want to proceed
I don't
we’re never on the same page never pay the same wage of respect to each other
its like you'll express your inner most regrets and expect a lift of your spirits instead you get ripped
stripped of your seriousness and left with your demons
I'd apologize
but deep down the frustration from the misplacement of my emotions whenever I want to hand them over leaves me cold to your warmth
the imaginary distance between us has never seemed so real

Admit your defeat
relinquish your will and depart from the weapons you held against me
no amending
no treaty or a political stunt to get you back in office or my cubical
I'd rather commit career suicide
but, you've lost
and I will accept your resignation except you expect a pardon
that is *******,
yet hilarious
your building is up for sale in my life
and compared to your surrender is air:
Unbreakable

A fleeing dream so I bow my head in homage
no suffering no more, you've painted our last hour
she painted my true colors and the water works are real and the water color dripping from her slits surreal so literal my ******
pause--
is it right to call my lord a drug my lord I question your judgment,
Your words your core I judge is war or warmth
or worms, you were she was an apple to sight the but cost of love-- too expensive
shot of Circo now I'm way too aggressive,
I park my home parallel my clone and walk past the Dive Bar where we met regressing psychologically,
eyeing me from another table
her social disciples that follow her and rival my every breath
I take a sip reminded of that flavor, her lips I'm awoke since 3 days after my last fix my vice is her a grip
Who The **** Was That, That walked Pass?!
clashing personalities, flammable as gas I'm corroded
shotgun, empty,
as a weapon with no motive
no navigator-- nor a map to my emotions shes coding I'm losing it,
I'm losing her my portrait
promises are broken I promise my undoing is a loose interpretation I use her for my benefit
clever for I love you
I loathe you makes more sense  
so who am I to judge with an empty box full of promises intended as a tattoo
her legs on the table
I say my final prayer:

"for supper I will have you" wine hold the water I'm prepared for the last stroke.

Circo nips on the go, the road
no mortgage or roof on the mobile home
Making music with the wind, her curls

I watch it --picture frame the moment with my hands on canvas
memories and dreams are sandwiched
no lettuce,

but the tank lets us cruise with these 6 figure fantasies worry free courtesy a day dream,
Or déjà vu if I could choose, and I chose.

We choose to break the rules so what's on ya mind?

pulled into a rest stop indecent crimes
with a box full of promises tucked in my pocket,
Just know that it will surface but to you I'm not worth it

Just don't cosign the lies that they tell don't sign the doted line or give me that bill --it's all premature don't treat it all like a stillborn,

Still on fact I see you once every 6 months

I figured I was important figured that she could wait now contemplating extortion, how can ways of the selfish out weigh what's important
Cue curtains, hands off canvas

A silent mourn prior to another portrait, she spoke:
"take my body if the last supper"
Pardon myself from my favorite flavor no savoring the savior who can't even save herself or society.

A fleeing dream so I bow my head in homage
no suffering no more, you've painted our last hour
she painted my true colors and the water works are real and the water color dripping from her slits surreal so literal my ******
pause--
is it right to call my lord a drug my lord I question your judgment,
Your words your core I judge is war or warmth
or worms, you were she was an apple to sight the but cost of love-- too expensive
shot of Circo now I'm way too aggressive,
I park my home parallel my clone and walk past the Dive Bar where we met regressing psychologically,
eyeing me from another table
her social disciples that follow her and rival my every breath
I take a sip reminded of that flavor, her lips I'm awoke since 3 days after my last fix my vice is her a grip
Who The **** Was That, That walked Pass?!
clashing personalities, flammable as gas I'm corroded
shotgun, empty,
as a weapon with no motive
no navigator-- nor a map to my emotions shes coding I'm losing it,
I'm losing her my portrait
promises are broken I promise my undoing is a loose interpretation I use it for my benefit
clever for I love you
I loathe you makes more sense  
so who am I to judge with an empty box full of promises intended as a tattoo
her legs on the table
I say my final prayer:

"for supper I will have you" wine hold the water I'm prepared for the last stroke.

Circo nips on the go, the road
no mortgage or roof on the mobile home
Making music with the wind, her curls
I watch it --picture frame the moment with my hands on canvas memories and dreams are sandwiched no lettuce but the tank lets us cruise with these 6 figure fantasies worry free courtesy a day dream
Or déjà vu if I could choose, and I chose
We choose to break the rules so what's on ya mind? pulled into a rest stop indecent crimes with a box full of promises tucked in my pocket
Just know that it will surface but to you I'm not worth it
Just don't cosign the lies that they tell don't sign the doted line or give me that bill --it's all premature don't treat it all like a stillborn
Still on fact I see once every 6 months
I figured I was important figured that she could wait now contemplating extortion, how can ways of the selfish out weigh what's important
Cue curtains, hands off canvas

A silent mourn prior to another portrait, she spoke:
"take my body if the last supper"
Pardon myself from my favorite flavor no savoring the savior who can't even save herself or society.