Relax.
Everything's
Gunna be
Alright.
Relax now.
Deep breaths.
Inhale. Exhale.
Now remember all the
Good times.
Yeah, you'll be alright.
Only a few more deep breaths,
Until all things work out again.

You kissed
The palm
Of my hand

And you curled
My fingers shut
Over the place
Where your lips
Had just been.

"A kiss to carry
With you
Wherever,
Forever,
Together."

And I press
That hand
Up to my cheek
And use it to
Hold my mouth shut.

And you moved on
And you moved out
And you moved away.

But I'll always have
A glimpse
A bit
A handful
Of your affection.
Wherever.
Forever.
Together.
A kiss.

All things sweet
Once stood for taste,
Now have all roots in you.
This and that and all these things find their way to your lips.
They spill out when you speak to me and take up root inside my heart.
All these things never need to hold water with time.

They may fade,
And that's alright.
These things they come and go.
But nothing will take them from my memories.
They live there forever.
Taking root.

It seems I've let my insecurities take control of me.
It's true what they say,
that people hurt other people because they are hurt within themselves. That's really what it's all about.
Us.
We did something that we aren't proud of
and instead of accepting that and learning,
we find it in someone else and we blame them.
It's time to take charge of our faults.
It's time for me to blame myself.
It's time.

the first time
that our eyes met
we clicked.
my heart felt a flutter
when our hands collided
and when I saw my reflection
residing in your pupils
for a single shining moment

I no longer felt alone.

So simple
So sadistic.
Satirical and
Sad.

A storm of emotions it
Seems I'm going mad.

I may not need you
But that will not stop me
From gripping your hand
And leading you on.

And in that very first touch
Of your delicate fingers
On my shoulder
I saw all that we would be.

I saw the heartbreak
I saw the sorrow
I saw the hurt

And I jumped anyway.

My body is craving
Someone to
Forget.

I respect you.
I'll protect you.
I care about you.
Nice ***.

I am not at fault.
I didn't do anything wrong.
Why am I being treated as though I did?

Stop it with the pity and the shame.
I am not ashamed. I don't need pity.
Especially not yours.

Life is messed up, but I am not.

One in five. one in five. ONE IN FIVE
One in five LGBTQ+ people have been mistreated because of their ****** orientation. It's not that hard to find these statistics. Look it up. Look up anything about LGBTQ+ people and I'm sure you'll find mistreatment.
I'm sure you'll find harm.
I'm sure you'll find that they harm themselves.
Because they feel at fault.
It's not their fault that they feel a common emotion towards another person you, selfish, close-minded..
mmm.

No.
Four in five. four in five. FOUR IN FIVE
Don't talk about it.
The way they were mistreated.
If you don't really get that
If you can't  really fathom that
Almost all of them
Almost every single one of these people that have been mistreated don't even talk about it they don't reach out they don't tell
anyone

NEARLY HALF
of LGBTQ+ people in school are bullied
Are mistreated
Are hurt
Are mocked
Are called names
***
******
***.
In school.
Yeah, bullying happens all the time over stupid ****. All the time. Wearing glasses, looking different, being gay.
I get it.
It happens.
Whatever.
Nearly half.

"72 countries criminalise same-*** relationships ...
The death penalty is either ‘allowed’, or evidence of its existence occurs, in 8 countries
In more than half the world, LGBT people may not be protected from discrimination by workplace law
Most governments deny trans people the right to legally change their name and gender from those that were assigned to them at birth
Between 2008 and 2014, there were 1,612 trans people were murdered across 62 countries - equivalent to a killing every two days
A quarter of the world’s population believes that being LGBT should be a crime"

Oh hey, just some statistics. Isn't that interesting. Isn't it cool to take a step back and check that out. That's pretty crazy huh? Pretty outrageous. But, you know, maybe if you weren't such a
***.

I did nothing
wrong.
I tried to stop it.
I tried.
But how can you stop
Doing
What
Is
Natural.

People are hurting
People are dying
People are being killed
People are killing themselves

Stop it with the pity and the shame.

We are not to blame.

She doesn't feel the same,
He doesn't feel the same,
They never feel the same
Way that I feel.

Oh I'll just bite my lip
Until the realization of your leaving
Sets in and
Finally kills me.

I'm no longer who I was.
This smile used to be genuine.
Now I only paint it on for pictures
And awkward encounters with strangers.

Gotta turn on that smile to make them all
Feel okay about leaving me after we share
That split second of recognition
That single moment of a certain something
Before going our separate ways.

I'll smile for you
If that's what you need
To feel okay about
Knowing that I'm not okay.

I can't escape you
In every lustful thought
You're there.

If my mind is wandering
It's headed straight into your arms.

So I can wrap my wrists around your waist.
So I can taste your mouth until I mistake it for my own.
So I can become entirely caught up in you.

I just want to
Escape you
Or
Swallow
You
Whole.

I'm not okay.
But I will be.

The wind brushes her hair from her pale cheek
He glances her way.
It's cold out now but she brings her fingers to her wrists and
Slowly,
Carefully,
Pulls up her sleeves.

He turns away from her
And resumes his duties
Of making sure no
Emotions escape from his world.

She reveals all of the love and loss
On her arms
In the form of
Tattoos
And
Bruises
And
Scars.

Words he wrote.
Things he whispered in her ears late at night
When he thought she was sleeping.
She wasn't sleeping.
Not since that first
"I love you"
Left his lips.

It slipped past his chain link fences
And broke through his bolted doors
That he locked around
His heart
And
His hands.
"Don't let me touch her."
He tells himself
"Don't do it,
That'll be the end."

She glances at him now,
Eyes glassy,
Arms naked,
And makes her way over
To rest by his side.

He offers a polite smile
A visible form of
"Hello, goodbye."
She doesn't take it.
Not this time.

He pulls his cuffed hands closer to him
As she places her fingers
On his temples,
And now moves them downward
To his cheeks,
Now his jaw,
Now his mouth.

And as they lock eyes
Every other thing unlocks
And they fall to the ground
In a crash.

The sound of letting go
Wakes them up from their dream land
And they find themselves
Next to one another
Once again.

By the side of her coffin
As she's slowly lowered under
The ground where she stood
When the wind brushed her hair
From her pale
Dead
Cheek.

And it's stupid.
Because you shouldn't mean
This much to me.
Not in this way.
It's not right.

It's not like I chose this.
It's not as if I did this
On purpose.

It's just that
You looked at me
With those big blue eyes
And you were so
So close to me.
From that moment on.
Forever since.

So I'm
Addicted to
Trying
And
Failing

                            So what

His soothing eyes
And his carefree smile
Are all I need
In the midst
Of such
Uncertainty.

Caught somewhere between
Being friends and being lovers.
Tangled in this web
Of " We could be..."

I need you
To be strong for me.
I cannot do it on
My own.

I've fallen away from
What I was.
I'm so pathetic.
I'm sorry.

But you're so strong,
Please stay with me.
If I'm too messed up
I'll change.

Anything
To keep you
A little longer.
A little closer.
A little fonder.

I fell in love with a girl.
That's all there is to it.
Nothing fancy.
I just
Fell in love.

I still see you, you know.
When I close my eyes.

Every time I close my eyes
It hurts a little more.

Because I know I'm one night closer
To you being gone.

You say
I have

K i n d. E y e s.

I say
"Wait till you
Get me to

C l o s e. T h e m."

I was only meant to be here for a season.

Some call me Summer.
The way I light up a room.
Bright and warm and full of laughter.

He called me Autumn.
Because he fell for me.
Cozy nights by the fire.
Color and brisk walks and smiles.

She told me I remind her of the Spring.
New beginnings and hopeful futures.
Spashing in puddles and planting flowers.

But you know that I'm
Winter.
Cold.
A brisk walk to a cold car.
A shiver down your spine.
Ice and shut windows closed doors and frostbite.
You catch a glimpse of my snowflakes and claim beauty before my snow storm blizzard white-out black ice on zero viability roads in your cold cold car takes their place.
I'm cold.
Unforgiving.
Ice.
Cold.

The middle of the night.
In plain sight.

Don't be afraid
To do what
Feels right.

I'm sorry that I'm broken.
I'm sorry that I'm used.
My mind is like the city streets
And my heart has been abused.

Color on your skin,
I know you'll let me in
With a smile on your lips
And swing upon your hips.

Don't act as though my opinion
Matters to you
At all.

Grant me the words
"I don't care."

So that I don't waste my precious thoughts
On your unworthy ears.

Do they care for what I am?
Do they see the truth in me?
Because it feels as though my words are frivolous,
As though no one can see.
That what I've got is meant for them
To test, to poke, to ****.
To figure out
And then they'll find
That this is no facade.

Could
I

kiss your neck

Until
You
Don't

love me anymore

You've made
A beautiful being
Out of me.

we will love while we are near
we will love from afar
we will love with every sunrise
with every sunset
with every snowfall and rain storm
with every change in the weather
and with every flavor of the sky
we will love

The look
The lips
The way
The moves
Defeat me

You brighten my day.
You light up my life.
I pray for the day
That you call me your wife.

I've saved up my love.
I've locked up my heart.
For all of the years
That we were apart.

I've waited for you.
And cried many nights.
I knew that my temper
Would cause many fights.

I have my own setbacks.
Please know that is true.
I'm angry,
I'm scared,
I'm no good for you.

But if you love me,
my dear,
And offer a smile,
I'll stay by your side
Every inch,
Every mile.

I'll love you and keep you
So close to my heart.
We'll live our lives together
Until death do us part.

I want to write you a song,
A sonnet,
A prose.
A sweet little nothing
That everyone knows.

I've tried to take others,
A common love song.
But they weren't for you,
No.
They were all wrong.

I wanted it to be special,
To be different,
Unique.
I wanted to make
Your knees feel weak.

But nothing was working.
Nothing was right.
I was ready for failure,
To give up the fight.

But then you stopped by
And took my hand in yours.
You smiled,
You winked,
You helped with the chores.

You calmed all my nerves,
With one thoughtless look.
And that was the moment
That my heart
You took.

There's no way to explain it,
No words to display,
The way that I felt
When you took
My breath
Away.

So I can't write you a prose,
Or a sonnet,
Or song.
Nothing can explain
That with you
I belong.

Scared to hurt you
Scared to commit

Afraid of kindness
and
Caring
and
Compassion.

In search of
love.

When casual
Blurs to comfort

I run.

moving with you
arching bodies
flowing with
your breath
heart beating

I get lost in your eyes
In the purest of ways,
Like being lost on the beach
On the sunniest days.

And I'm caught by your touch,
So smooth and so sure,
I'm caught altogether
In all that we were.

You draw me in
With your sweet smile
And catch my heart
With your coy eye.

I'm mesmerized
By the way you move,
And when he's standing
By your side.

The two of you
Bring me together
And trip me up
When you look at me.

I'm falling into
The way you speak
And when you play,
You set me free.

Your sound, his voice,
You need not fear,
For I know what
Your souls say.

You need not worry
If people hear,
For your words make
Their own way.

That look you give
When you see his face
I know it's for him,
But I skip a beat.

Because the love
That you two share
Is what I need
To feel complete.

Somebody else
Has already written these words for you.

Somebody else
Has already had these thoughts.

Somebody else
Has already poured their heart out to you.

And somebody else
Has already gotten you to love them back.

Somebody else
Let's say,
Got there before me.

Let's just say
That the only thing standing
Between me and you
Is time.
And opportunity.

I hope you're safe and happy
With your somebody else.

I close my eyes
And allow myself
To dream

Of all the chances I had
To kiss you.

Baseball seats
And
Late night treats

And dancing till the credits were through

And every moment with you.

He lifts her off her feet
And he pulls her back inside,
She had come out of that closet
Weeks ago.

He grips her sides
And moves in close
With his heartbeat
Matching hers.

She lives within this moment
And she never wants an ending.
She's wrapped up in his need
For all she has.

She tries to pull him with her,
Bring him outside of that small room
So dark and closed and empty
In her heart.

But as she puts her lips on his
And he begins to move them downward
She loses all the thoughts
Within her head.

He accepts her and she knows it
And that makes her love him deeper
But he cannot understand
The way she feels.

When she's outside of that small space
She can feel all that desire
For the strength of his hand
And the small of her back.

But when she's back inside that closet
He is all that is within her
And she knows it would be easier
To just stay hidden up in there.

But it cannot be that simple
Not for her or for another
And she knows that she can't hide it
For this long.

So she'll let out all these feelings
In that small and empty closet
As he lifts her off her feet
And he pulls her back inside.

You cannot remove me
From who I am
No matter how hard
You try.

I am my own.
You are not me.

And how silly it all seems now
To have been so worried,
So concerned,
About finding the one for me.
Looking and
Searching and
Picking through people
Sort them with a mental machine.

You broke the trend.
You didn't follow the rules.
I didn't find you.

You stepped in and I was welcomed home.
You were a mess of all my future kisses and desire.
You made me stop.
Looking
Searching
Picking through people.
You broke my mental sorting machine.

And now
I am with you
And you are with me.
And I am free.

There once was a father antelope
Who loved fruit salad
As well as his one and only
Antelope daughter.

One day
A young boy antelope
Came sauntering over
And took a liking to
The daughter.

So he asked the father antelope,
"May I marry your daughter?"
And father antelope said,
"No."

And oh the young boy antelope
Begged and
Begged and
Begged
The father for his daughter's
Hand in marriage.
But he refused.

But you see,
The daughter antelope
Loved the young boy antelope
And she wanted so badly to marry him.

So she made up her father's
Favorite dish,
A fruit salad
With all the fruits you could
Think of.

There was
Strawberries
And
Blueberries
And
Cantaloupe
And
Watermelon
And
Every
Single
Fruit.

She knew this was the way to her father's heart
So she brought it to him
That very day
And she said,
"Please oh please father.
Let me marry the young boy antelope."
And her father said,
"No."
And she
Begged and
Begged and
Begged
Him to let her marry him.
But all he would say was,
"No."

So she brought out her special weapon,
She showed him the salad made from
Every fruit imaginable,
Like
Strawberries
And
Blueberries
And
Cantaloupe
And
Watermelon
And
Every
Single
Fruit.

And she told him,
"If you will not let me marry him,
Then we will run away together
And get married far far away
Without your permission."

And the father looked deep into the fruit salad.
He looked long and hard.
He looked at the
Strawberries
And
Blueberries
And
Cantaloupe
And
Watermelon
And
Every
Single
Fruit.

And without looking up
Without breaking his gaze
With that lovely fruit salad
He said to her,
"No.
Antelope
Cantaloupe."

The end.

Good days come and pass,
But bad days stop all time.
They bring about
Tears of spite
They darken every rhyme.
I hate bad days
They ruin me,
They take from me my joy.
And sweep away all thoughts of peace
With their malicious ploy.