You feel like
A ghastly mist, crawling up my toes
Touching frozen ground as you wrap
The soles of my feet in pasty white.

You feel like
Wet hair seeping through every thread
Of a pillowcase where you rest your head
Cold, warm, cold, warm—uncomfortable.

You feel like
Sore eyes from screens too bright
As you type in bold, black thoughts
A manifesto of the conflicts within.

You feel like
A room with no light, air, and sounds
Stagnancy echoing—the streaks, the blowing, the ringing
Were all dampened, washed out, unheard of.

You feel like
The sudden flash of blindness in the sky
Overlapping the deepest violets with such crisp tear
And they, too, tear as well.

You feel like
An intrusive intrusion of an intruder
An interlude to all the things you've done
An intermission to the tango that has just begun.

You feel like
A stale yet warm yet ugly yet comforting embrace
I wrap around you just to seep in every inch
Of what only you could offer.

You feel like
The last beginning of the endgame
The enshrouding entrance of what is to come
The naked piece of the puzzle
I have yet to grasp fully

You feel like
Bitter goodbyes
Unfiltered eyes
And crimson skies.

You and I; we are both formidable
But then, like the thin line between its two definitions
We both live in each other's opposition

You.
You always had this grace—this delicateness and feebleness
That kind that would make anyone protect you with their lives
Not to mention the talent you were blessed at birth
The way notes would dance in accord with your fingers—how formidable

I.
My sight would always give people chills down their spines
That kind that would make you either fight or flight
With the cold demeanor I was cursed upon birth
Like how I would twist the words from my mouth.

You.
You were everything the world wanted—only more, nothing less
Can you see how their eyes would spark upon your descant?
You were a living, walking goddess upon mortals
And you were the kind of formidable one would stare in awe.

I.
I was nothing the world wanted—nothing more, only less
In how I would see the hatred in their lids at the mention of my name
I was the epitome of Lucifer incarnate, disrupting serendipity
And I was the kind of formidable everyone would want to be gone.

Us.
Yes, we are both formidable
You elegantly, I grotesquely
And the thought of us, meeting even just once
Will only be this pitiful mind's apparition.

Secrets of Wysteria flow in the vessels of my brain
And so I do not hear, nor comprehend the calling of my thought’s train
Vowing to never be held again in constrain
Eradicating the rotten fingers pointing to my disdain

Muses of bruises, callouses, and roses
Excuses the clueless, hung in ruin’s nooses

Flagitious tongue sharpens itself with sprawling centipedes
Rusted teeth from perilous mandibles bleed as it feeds
On the oozing, ****** veins of the wicked ****** as it pleads
Maybe these are too much for one’s avaricious needs?

Mindful, careful, piercing the syringe of refrain on plump flesh
Yeuking as the substance flows on blood so raw and fresh

Amid all, the past and future gather in Sheol’s pavilion
But missing is the presence of present in emblazing vermillion
Yet fleetly missed as the siren descanted her composition
Somber statues of ivory pretense witness with volition
Saints and snakes tear each other’s throats in a languish cotillion.

Crisp summer breeze tickle wreaths of May blooms
Yellow flats traipse blocks where blue ocean looms
Serene waves greet shore's walls in fervent kiss
Moon's afterglow brush the scene in pure bliss

Fine sand witness time like dateless heirlooms
Brine's musk basks nightfall in coastal perfumes
Woven foams' calm poise in fond reminisce
With each cycle's ending, they go amiss

Red heels graze concrete in sultry whispers
As the salt-rimmed glass plays in my fingers
Gotcha!—my hapless victim for tonight

Caught my breath, it only faintly lingers
In front I stand, a door with four ciphers
"Aphrodite, save me" begins the plight

Liquor bottles and rapt promises
All sometimes mean the same thing for me
At first glance, they seem a little bit too much
To be handled by a mere, innocent minor like me

They say I'm too young to take or drink them
They say only adults can get a taste of them
But of course, I let my curiosity get the best of me
And here I am, sneaking some from the shelf.

Bitter. I unconsciously rejected it
For it was too bitter for me to handle
Manifesto too new, flavour too foul
Sensation incomprehensible, what's yet to come?

I finished half. Half of the bottle.
Internalized half of the emotions thrown
Embedded in between those highfalutin speeches
And I'm only waiting for what's next.

Warmth. It's warm, it's creeping in
Am I letting myself be thawed by their voice?
Or maybe it's just the liquid speaking
As it glides down from my mouth to my throat?

Euphoria. I feel nice. For the first time.
Taking more gulps doesn't feel a bit wrong.
Being succumbed to their words doesn't feel wrong.
It only feels all the more alright.

Tepid. Loaded. Giddy. Fine.
All these are happening all at once
I've been searching for this feeling all my life
WHY HAVE I NOT KNOWN BEFOREHAND!?

I only bought a bottle to try
Only sought a promise to swallow
Is one not enough for my troubled soul?
Is this how much I craved to feel fine?

No matter how many bottles we gulp
No matter how wholeheartedly we trust
When the ethereal high runs out in a bittersweet haze
It's time to clean them all up.

For the empty liquor bottles and empty rapt promises
Will only leave you reeking with its pungent smell
Along with trailing tears on your cheeks
And another throbbing head the next day.

Pwede ba, na sa bawat pag-gising
At bawat pagtibok ng puso habang pumapasok
Ang sinag ng araw sa aking bintana
Ay makakalimutan ka na?

Dala na ang kamao **** tila nakabalot
Sa aking pinunong dibdib
Na niyurakan at kumikirot dahil sa iyong
Mahigpit na hawak sa akin, pwede ba?

Sana nama'y makaligtaan na ang tono, huni, at nilalahad
Ng mga kantang noo'y sinasabayan pa ng ating
Mga tawa, padyak, hiyaw, galaw
Balang araw, sana nga.

Maaari bang itapon na ang papel na naglalaman
Ng mga nais ko sanang ipahayag sayo noon
Kasabay na ang mga kasinungalingang binulyaw mo sa akin gamit ang mga letrang padala mo
Ako'y pagod na.

Pagod nang magparamdam, makiramdam
Makaramdam ng purong pagdamdam
Na alam kong kailan ma'y hindi mo na mararamdaman
Tama na.

Kung maaaring mawalay na
Sa pagkapit sa mga matatamis na salitang
Ibinulong mo sa akin habang inaambunan tayo
Ng sinag ng buwan sa gabing kay liwanag.

Sana'y matuyo na ang mga nasayang na luha
Noong sinabi ko sayo na ika'y aking minamahal
Na kung saan binalik mo sa akin nang mas malutong, mas mabulaklak
Pero putangina, puro lang pala dada at walang kahulugan!

At noong dinagdagan mo pa ng mga pangakong
Pagmamahalan at pagsusuyuan sa ating unang pagkikita
Ay halos sumalangit ako sa tuwa at galak
Pero sa init at pait ng impyerno mo pala ako binagsak.

Gusto sana kitang tanungin
Kung naaalala mo pa ba lahat ng ating mga talumpati
Kung papaano natin nahanap ang ginhawa at katiwasayan
Sa mata ng isa't isa, oh aking minimithi.

Sinubukan kong uminom ng kung anu-anong likor
Na sa sobrang dami ay halos napuntahan ko na siguro
Lahat ng barikan na aking nalalaman
Para lang maialis ka sa isipang ikaw lang ang nilalaman.

Subalit, imbes na ika'y maglaho sa kuro
Ay mas naalala ka sa mga malulungkot na gabing
Nangangamoy alak at naglalasang halik mo
Tulad noong unang gabing hinagkan mo ang nag-iinit kong noo.

Ngayon, ika'y masaya na at kuntento
Sa piling ng taong sinabi mo sa akin na huwag alalahanin
Hindi mo lang alam kung paano ko pinilit ang aking sarili
Na tanggapin lahat ng iyong isinaksak at binaril sa puso kong siil

Tila tintang nakamansta sa puting palamuti
Na di maalis-alis kahit gaano ko man kuskusin
Ang memoryang nakalaan para sayo sa aking isipan at damdamin
Kay hirap nang hubarin at tanggalin

Siguro ako'y itinuring lamang na isang kagamitang
Pwedeng itapon matapos pagdiskitahan ng mapaglarong tadhana
Na noo'y pinaniwalaan at naging pamanhik ko
Sa sandaling itinahi na ang pangalan mo sa nagdurugo kong puso

Pero, sa huli, kinailangang limutin
At iparaya ang damdaming nakakulong parin
Hanggang ngayon sa yakap ng iyong bisig
At himbing ng mga talang tila patalim sa gitna ng dilim

Sana'y natuto na ang sariling pag-iisip
Na hinding-hindi magpalinlang sa mga matatamis na awit
Na pinuputak ng bibig na ang may ari ay
Walang espasyo sa kanyang isip at puso para sa akin.

Aking nawalay na sinta
Maaari bang ika'y pakawalan na?
Para sa atin—o baka sa aking kalayaan at kasiyahan nalang
Pwede ba, kakalimutan na kita?

At the far moor past our own sight
With tousled hair against wind's gush
Dazzled by the moon of the night
Quiet, my love, keep yourself hushed

When moments last forevermore
Together under dawn's sweet blush
When your eyes pierced through mine, you swore
Hurry, darling, we need to rush

Black waters surround our pained souls
Seeking comfort as our hearts brush
Switch roles as the camera rolls
Quiet, my love, keep yourself hushed

A rose's stalk buried in her chest
Bleeding red in slow, steady flush
And with her sanity undressed
Hurry, darling, we need to rush

Bare foot sinking down the green bay
With shards of glass, shattered and crushed
Take thy hand and go run away
Quiet, my love, keep yourself hushed

A meadow where despair fosters
A safe place for the foolish lush
A betrayal, how improper
Hurry, darling, we need to rush

Greed succeeds, so does treachery
And so it begins, jeopardy
Hurry, darling, we need to rush
Quiet, my love, keep yourself hushed