The peace you exude
Fills my spaces
And makes me whole

Write sad with me, she said
Let's write beautiful anguish
I want people to wonder how we could tap dance
On that one nerve attached to all emotion
Let's invite them to swim in the abyss of desolation
Amongst the most inviting torment
Alone in the shades of black and blue
That make up a bruised spirit and broken heart
Let us share the parts of us we ourselves are loathe to view
Will you, please
Write it with me

I'm trying so hard to breathe
But the burning in my chest
The flames in my soul
Make it impossible
I lack the oxygen I need

I'm trying so hard to stand tall
But I'm starting to fall
Because the weight on my shoulders
Is heavier than boulders
I simply can't have it all

No we can't have it all
But we can have nothing
Nothing in common
But the weight of the world
Watching in awe as beside me you fall

And the embers, they smolder
For an hour or a day
As the breath Ignites once again
Consuming the smile
Before it is ever born

I'm trying so hard to just be here
But I'm beginning to doubt
To lose my faith in happiness
To bask in all my loneliness
I need help to figure it out

I'm trying so hard to believe
In the unknown, in what I can't see
But life is really bringing me down
I'm just gonna paint on this frown
I'll never find someone to love me

So, to the flaming death of joy we toast
Taking in the screams
On the decent of all who falter
I watch you fall in silence
Sharing a pain that consumes everything

You are focused on nothing
I am focused on you, oblivious to all
My loneliness beaten back by your own
If only momentarily we glance past each other
The air too heavy to revive all that is dying

I'm trying, I'M TRYING, I'M TRYING
All I can feel around me is the dying
I see the painful look in your eyes
I know it's simply your disguise
I want you to know, I really am trying

I'm trying to breathe, to stand, to be here, to believe
But all this death is surrounding me
Dragging me down, into my darkened soul
A place I know, you'll never follow
I need help with my feigned destiny

*One cannot follow what is right beside
Bathing in the aftermath of despair
Weight of the world, of lost souls,
Of the intangible yearning to feel
There is only loneliness for fear of sharing

Afraid of loosening the grip on the comfort of stagnant pain
or facing the nothingness of the unknown
We look but do not see anything save our own pain
No, one cannot follow what is right beside
I'll hold your pain if you'll hold mine

I want you
to think me beautiful and mesmerizing
drawn to me,
for I fill the holes in  your soul

I want you
to walk away from me before it's too late
for if you hurt me
the pain will burn your spirit

I want you
to want to keep me smiling
lulled into peace
by my gentle laughter

I want you
to see me as I see you
through the mask of shadows
basking in the truth of who I am

It scares me

how much

I want you

My soul laid dormant
in the desolation
of the walls loneliness built
Awakened by the slow exhale
of hope that you breathed upon me
Never realizing the magic
in your very existence

Molting from transparency
to beautifully tangible
in the gaze of faith
found in a dream thought lost
You believed
and I became...me

Abandoned to think...
Silence, darknes, loneliness
Emptiness...and me

***** sheets
On a ***** bed
The room smells of sweat and ***
Shame in sunlight
Love in shadows
A broken soul no one respects
Blurry eyes
And morning dew
Remnants of what has been shared
Used up
Borrowed human touch
Never thinking someone cared
In the rays
Of blaring light
The shadows can no longer hide
The truth that birthed
Within the night
The two are one though side by side

respect and honor
charged with a heart not your own
trust founds truest love*
❤❤❤

As you wish
So shall it be

Goodbye my friend

Here we are
Dead of winter
Dead of night
Alone

Thinking of your love
Makes one selfless not selfish
You're doing it wrong

Life tends to teach lessons no one wants to learn

A tattered patchwork quilt of pain
An image of what should be
Neither are perfect
Just partial perceptions
A faulty reality
Yet, truth just the same

You are

I
am not

and
I

cannot become
You

May you be immersed
Healing light of energy
Dissipate the pain